My Immortal 6
A.N- Thanks for bringing up the vagueness of the story line. I forget that when I read the story over as an author I have the luxury of knowing where each character came from and where they're going. I do not purposely keep the story confusing, I was just trying to give the character some mystery that I can reveal as Legolas himself uncovers it, but I see that I'm going way overboard. I hope this chapter makes things a little less foggy.
PS-I know that things are getting really quite dark, but I promise things will get lighter and wittier as our characters begin their journey.
Fear is the main source of superstition, and one of the main sources
of cruelty. To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom.
Bertrand Russell
Fear is the tax that conscience pays to guilt.
George Sewell
I woke to darkness in a cold sweat. Disoriented from the sense of falling and the deafening roar of pain, I stood but fell back again to the bed I had arisen from. It was as if I had been at sea too long and could not remember the sensation of stable ground. However, the bed was like a vortex and I could not stand to be near it or anything else that might lull me back into the dream. And so I stumbled along the periphery of my room searching for the door and accompanying fresh air.
I eventually made my way to the barely discernable gardens. It was not the view I was seeking, rather the openness. I found I was not alone in seeking the relief of the gardens. Elrond had his back to me, though I knew he was aware of my presence he chose not to acknowledge it. I was happy to oblige and continued down the path. I was surprised to hear his footsteps behind me.
"Did you never find it rude to read into others minds; such sacred places there are that none shall enter but the one who created it," Elrond stated to my back.
Elrond was angry. Anger on an elf is an intimidating concept. A master among elves, this was exceptional. Annoyance, irritation, and boredom one might see, but anger, never. It was frightening, but not half so much as it was angering. I was quick to rise and defend myself
"I never read their minds, though I am as strong as they declared at my birth there are none that strong. It is memories that I see, and only those that cause such sorrow, none such as you can image "
"What do you so nonchalantly imply in that, do not spar with me witch, you have enough enemies."
Our voices were rising and words began to flow before thought had time to catch up with emotion. I felt my adrenaline rush with each word.
"And I never go where I do not have permission. I take only those memories that I've been asked to take. I do not take their futures, I do not change their past"
"Permission... permission? Did you never ask Legolas's permission?" His voice carried the gravel weight of his wrath and the heat of the fight built to a crescendo.
"That is none of your business. You've no right to bring that in my face."
"I do not have to bring it to your face! You wear it about your own neck as if a charm," Elrond retorted, but he did not stop there. "You do not fool me, your deceit shines through the decades. You tell me tales of your self- imposed exile, of the sorrow you have erased as if you have done good, as if you are making amends. But I tell you child, you have no right. Those souls you save are survivors, be they proud or broken, they are survivors and you take away the knowledge of their scars, of their endurance, of their triumph over evil. What pride in that?"
"And what purpose of endurance if there is nothing left worth living," I replied. "Do not presume to know me lord, I take from them what I can not take from myself. And I'll wear it proudly for I do deserve it. I asked not your forgiveness, nor do I ask your understanding. You claim to carry the fate of a whole people on your shoulders, but have you ever felt it? Do you feel the sorrow of a dying people, do you know the evil that haunts them, now times it by 10, by 100? Do not judge my actions, do not judge what you could not stand to watch and bear in my place"
His answer, it appeared, was silence. I had said my piece and Elrond had said his, we each listened, but did we really hear? A peaceful quite descended on us. A stark contrast to the thunderous anger of moments before. I was not aware of the tears coursing down my cheeks, but Elrond was. He never misses anything.
"I am afraid Elrond. I would not be here if I were not."
"I know child"
"The memories I carry, I am afraid they are not a warning, I do not know how to change that which has already happened."
"Seek Gandalf, there you shall find your answers."
"Elrond...I am afraid of him also."
And I saw then compassion, not pity. And I was grateful.
"Do not fear your own kin, child."
"I fear the unknown, is it not natural to fear the unknown?"
"People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar."
And I paused then, and heard what he had said and acknowledged his wisdom.
I felt a need still to defend what little honor I still claimed. "I do not wear the locket as a charm Elrond."
Again I was met with silence. I did not wish to provoke the Elf, or rekindle his anger, yet I desired to explain myself. "I am not proud of my actions but the reaction was my own and I will live with the knowledge of my lost love the rest of my immortal life, I would not wish Legolas to share such a burden."
The weight of his hand on my shoulder was of comfort. I continued, "I take their sorrows because I can. It is the least I can do and perhaps it is to my benefit as well. There is nothing quite like the pain of thousands to put your own in perspective." I managed a weak smile. He nodded once and made his way back into the shadows leaving me with my thoughts once more.