"Okay, who are we doing today?" Yami asked as he drove their van around
Domino. Yami was actually doing a good job driving since Yugi had
threatened him with no sex for a month if he endangered their lives.
"Someone who really needs our help," came the reply from Marik who was sitting in the middle with Malik on his lap as they looked over the information in the folder Mokuba had given them that morning. Ryou was currently in the back passed out and using Bakura's lap as a pillow. Apparently those two had some 'fun' last night and Bakura wore Ryou out. Fortunately for Ryou after the food and alcohol-poisoning incident at Honda's he and Bakura had been forced to switch tasks.
"Some cross dresser," Malik added as he made mental notes of the short skirts 'he' was wearing in the picture that had been provided for them. A few minutes later they arrived at victim number 2's home.
"Hey Aibou? Doesn't Anzu live here?" Yami asked as they exited the van after waking Ryou up.
"Hey you're right! I wonder why we're here," Yugi mused. He tried making a grab for the file folder but Malik had it clutched in his hands and he was too busy bounding up to the door. Malik rapidly pressed the doorbell until Anzu answered it.
"What are you guys all doing here?" she asked seeing the small group. "I know! You're here because we're friends right?! And friends stick together!"
"Actually you foolish mortal we're here to give you a makeover," Bakura growled at her.
"It's for our show, Queer Yamis and Hikaris for the Straight Guy," Ryou explained shooting his yami a look that told him to be good.
"But I'm a girl," Anzu protested, slightly confused.
"You are!" Malik exclaimed in shock as he did a double take.
"You mean you didn't realize that when you took control of her body at Battle City?" Marik asked his hikari with an amused look on his face, causing Malik to scowl at him.
"I kind of had more important things to worry about!" he snapped.
"You know you would look sexy wearing that skirt," Marik thoughtfully mused.
"Knock it off!" Yami ordered as he tossed the van keys to Malik who skillfully caught them.
"Come on Anzu, we got shopping to do!" Malik cried as he grabbed Anzu and dragged her towards the van. Marik reluctantly followed them while the others began their own tasks.
A few minutes later the three of them found themselves at the trusty Domino Mall. Marik tried sneaking off to make solon arrangements but Malik was having none of that informing his yami that he was needed with them to carry all their bags.
Anzu soon found shopping with Malik wasn't all that bad, as the two girls spent their time giggling and gossiping over various subjects. Strangely enough he seemed to know his fashion quite well and helped Anzu pick out a number of short leather skirts and tops. Poor Marik however ended up carrying about fifty bags by the time they were finished and they had only hit half of the stores that Malik had wanted to visit.
"Just one more store please!" Malik begged looking up at his yami using the ever so reliable Hikari Puppy Dog Eyes of Death Doom and Destruction. Fortunately for Marik, his eyes were covered by the piles of boxes and bags he was carrying so he could not see his hikari and be affected by the puppy eyes.
"No!" Marik yelled. "Now someone help me with these fucking bags and boxes!"
"Should I continue filming?" the always-present cameraman asked.
"I don't think that's wise Bob," Malik replied.
"My name's George."
"Anything you say Bob."
George, aka Bob, the cameraman rolled his eyes as he turned off the camera. Once the little red light was gone Malik turned angrily to Marik. "Are you trying to get our show cancelled!" he screamed. This resulted in Marik dropping his armful of good and glaring at his hikari.
"I am not your servant!" he yelled back. "I'm suppose to be doing hair right now! Not following you around for another five hours while you shop!"
"You're just jealous that I'm the star of the show!"
"This show wasn't even your idea! And if you'd notice, Yamis come in the title before Hikaris!"
As the pair continued to fight they were inching closer and closer to each other. Suddenly much to the amazement of Anzu, George (Bob) the cameraman and various other shoppers watching the fight Malik jumped into Marik's arms and they began kissing each other passionately.
"I love you baby!" Malik groaned before shoving his tongue down Marik's throat and latching his legs around his yamis waist so he wouldn't fall. Marik meanwhile had started lowering them both to the ground.
"Umm . . . guys?" Anzu meekly asked. "Aren't I suppose to be getting my hair done right now." This caused Marik to pull away from Malik for a second so he could pull a forth out of his pocket.
"Take this and stick it in that," he commanded as he pointed to an electrical socket. He then turned his attention back to Malik.
"Okay," Anzu replied with a shrug and the camera began filming again as Anzu walked over to the electrical socket and did as told. Sparks flew everywhere and a puff of smoke appeared around the young girl drawing the attention of everyone in the mall except for the two blondes still busy making out on the floor.
As the smoke cleared, the hair of a crisp Anzu was sticking in every direction imaginable.
Just at that moment Yugi and Yami walked in the mall paying no attention to the blondes since they were use to the two of them. The pair had walked to the mall wondering what was taking Malik and Marik so long. "Anzu what happened!" Yugi cried rushing over to his friend.
"Electrically bad," Anzu weakly replied as she began to faint away into the arms of Yami, who instead of catching her like a gentleman would do, let her drop to the floor with a thud.
"Yami!"
"What?" Yami asked giving his glaring Aibou an innocent look. Sighing Yami reluctantly picked her up and carried her out of the mall with Yugi and Bob following him. When they reached the van, which Malik had parked across two handicap spaces, Yami dumped her in the back before getting in the front to drive away.
"Uhh . . Yami?" Yugi asked when he noticed they were heading in the direction of Anzu's house.
"What is it Aibou?"
"Where are we going?"
"Anzu's house," Yami replied with a shrug.
"Why? Shouldn't we be now showing her the find aspects of Duel Monsters?"
"When she wakes up we'll lie and said we did but she just can't remember from the electrocution and the concussion."
"Oh, okay!" Yugi happily replied as he sat back and enjoyed the ride. As Yami turned the corner he reached down to turn on the radio but just as he did that everyone's favourite granny wearing an army helmet started walking across the road. Yami looked up in time to witness him running over the poor old lady's foot that made a loud crunching sound.
Yami shot a quick look at Yugi who had his eyes closed and missed the entire thing and in the back Bob was busy taping an unconscious Anzu for the show he as well had missed the entire thing.
Fortunately there were no other mishaps on the way to Anzu's place. And as they were pulling into the driving Anzu woke up. "My head," she groaned as Yugi helped her inside. Poor Anzu however was only inside for a matter of seconds before Ryou was dragging her in the kitchen.
"So what are you going to cook?" he asked while he sat down at the kitchen table and started flipping through a magazine and filing his nails at the same time.
"Uhh . . . maybe it's the concussion but aren't you suppose to cook?" she asked him. "I seem to remember when Honda was on the show we all got sick from that meal that Bakura made."
"Yeah, well, you see in our home Kura and I have a rule at our place and that rule is the girliest one cooks," Ryou informed her. "And that now applies to the show. Normally I would end up cooking but since you really are a girl you get to cook."
"But that's not fair!" Anzu protested. "Did you even invite my friends over for tonight or do I have to do that too?!"
"Actually I did try calling a few people but mysteriously enough when they found out the party was here they were all suddenly busy."
"Then if no one's coming, why am I cooking?"
"Good point," Ryou agreed. "I guess that means you get to see your new room now."
"Wait a sec, if you're now the cook, who redecorated my room?"
"Bakura."
With a scream Anzu went running towards her bedroom with Ryou, Yami and Yugi closely following her. When she reached the door she pulled it open to find Bakura inside.
"My room!" she wailed as the others took a peak. The room was now entirely black with various bondage toy scattered about the room. Yugi, Yami and Ryou naturally loved the room seeing they were into that kind of stuff.
While the trio congratulated Bakura on the well done with the room and Anzu continued to sob they all heard the front door open and then close. "Anzu sweetly!" a sugary voice called. "Your father and I decided to come back from our cruise early since we missed our baby girl so much!"
"My parents!" Anzu cried as she fainted, once again falling towards Yami who once again refused to catch her and instead let her fall to the floor.
"I wonder where she is?" the group heard her mother ask her father.
"She must be asleep in her room," came the reply. "Lets go wake her up!"
"I think it's time we got out of here," Ryou whispered to his friends then nodded their heads as they bolted towards the back door. As they ran outside they heard the screams coming inside from Anzu's mother.
"That was close," Yugi said as they piled into the van.
"I wonder if they'll like what I did to her room," Bakura mused before turning to the cameraman. "You did get a good shot of it didn't you Bob?"
"The name is George and yes I did."
"Good job, Bob. If you keep it up you'll get a raise," Ryou informed him causing Bakura and Yami to snort at the word 'raise'.
"Hey guys?" Yugi suddenly asked. "What happened to Malik and Marik?"
"I'm sure they're safe somewhere," Yami replied with a shrug.
*~*~*
Not far away at the Domino Police Department . . .
"Man who knew there was a law against public sex," Malik complained as he paced the holding cell he and Marik had been placed in. Fortunately they were the only two individuals in the cell at that moment.
"You know we never were able to finish what we started," Marik thoughtfully stated as he looked at Malik hungrily. "I wonder if this counts as a public place?"
"Only one way to find out," Malik devilishly replied as he attacked Marik with kisses.
*~*~*
It didn't take long for Yami, Yugi, Ryou, Bakura and Bob to arrive back at the studio where they were met by Mokuba.
"Sorry guys but we can't tape the rest of this week's show today," he told them as they exited the van. "I got a call from the police department that Malik and Marik were arrested for having sex at the mall this afternoon and I had to send everyone home so I can go bail them out."
The thought of Malik and Marik in jail cracked Bakura up who fell to the ground laughing.
"Come on you, lets go home," Ryou said as he dragged Bakura back up to his feet. Likewise Yami and Yugi headed home as well.
"Bob, get that footage over to the editing room while I go bail out the psycho blondes," Mokuba ordered as a limo pulled up and stopped in front of them which Mokuba immediately got into.
"But my name isn't Bob!" the poor cameraman cried as the limo drove away.
"Someone who really needs our help," came the reply from Marik who was sitting in the middle with Malik on his lap as they looked over the information in the folder Mokuba had given them that morning. Ryou was currently in the back passed out and using Bakura's lap as a pillow. Apparently those two had some 'fun' last night and Bakura wore Ryou out. Fortunately for Ryou after the food and alcohol-poisoning incident at Honda's he and Bakura had been forced to switch tasks.
"Some cross dresser," Malik added as he made mental notes of the short skirts 'he' was wearing in the picture that had been provided for them. A few minutes later they arrived at victim number 2's home.
"Hey Aibou? Doesn't Anzu live here?" Yami asked as they exited the van after waking Ryou up.
"Hey you're right! I wonder why we're here," Yugi mused. He tried making a grab for the file folder but Malik had it clutched in his hands and he was too busy bounding up to the door. Malik rapidly pressed the doorbell until Anzu answered it.
"What are you guys all doing here?" she asked seeing the small group. "I know! You're here because we're friends right?! And friends stick together!"
"Actually you foolish mortal we're here to give you a makeover," Bakura growled at her.
"It's for our show, Queer Yamis and Hikaris for the Straight Guy," Ryou explained shooting his yami a look that told him to be good.
"But I'm a girl," Anzu protested, slightly confused.
"You are!" Malik exclaimed in shock as he did a double take.
"You mean you didn't realize that when you took control of her body at Battle City?" Marik asked his hikari with an amused look on his face, causing Malik to scowl at him.
"I kind of had more important things to worry about!" he snapped.
"You know you would look sexy wearing that skirt," Marik thoughtfully mused.
"Knock it off!" Yami ordered as he tossed the van keys to Malik who skillfully caught them.
"Come on Anzu, we got shopping to do!" Malik cried as he grabbed Anzu and dragged her towards the van. Marik reluctantly followed them while the others began their own tasks.
A few minutes later the three of them found themselves at the trusty Domino Mall. Marik tried sneaking off to make solon arrangements but Malik was having none of that informing his yami that he was needed with them to carry all their bags.
Anzu soon found shopping with Malik wasn't all that bad, as the two girls spent their time giggling and gossiping over various subjects. Strangely enough he seemed to know his fashion quite well and helped Anzu pick out a number of short leather skirts and tops. Poor Marik however ended up carrying about fifty bags by the time they were finished and they had only hit half of the stores that Malik had wanted to visit.
"Just one more store please!" Malik begged looking up at his yami using the ever so reliable Hikari Puppy Dog Eyes of Death Doom and Destruction. Fortunately for Marik, his eyes were covered by the piles of boxes and bags he was carrying so he could not see his hikari and be affected by the puppy eyes.
"No!" Marik yelled. "Now someone help me with these fucking bags and boxes!"
"Should I continue filming?" the always-present cameraman asked.
"I don't think that's wise Bob," Malik replied.
"My name's George."
"Anything you say Bob."
George, aka Bob, the cameraman rolled his eyes as he turned off the camera. Once the little red light was gone Malik turned angrily to Marik. "Are you trying to get our show cancelled!" he screamed. This resulted in Marik dropping his armful of good and glaring at his hikari.
"I am not your servant!" he yelled back. "I'm suppose to be doing hair right now! Not following you around for another five hours while you shop!"
"You're just jealous that I'm the star of the show!"
"This show wasn't even your idea! And if you'd notice, Yamis come in the title before Hikaris!"
As the pair continued to fight they were inching closer and closer to each other. Suddenly much to the amazement of Anzu, George (Bob) the cameraman and various other shoppers watching the fight Malik jumped into Marik's arms and they began kissing each other passionately.
"I love you baby!" Malik groaned before shoving his tongue down Marik's throat and latching his legs around his yamis waist so he wouldn't fall. Marik meanwhile had started lowering them both to the ground.
"Umm . . . guys?" Anzu meekly asked. "Aren't I suppose to be getting my hair done right now." This caused Marik to pull away from Malik for a second so he could pull a forth out of his pocket.
"Take this and stick it in that," he commanded as he pointed to an electrical socket. He then turned his attention back to Malik.
"Okay," Anzu replied with a shrug and the camera began filming again as Anzu walked over to the electrical socket and did as told. Sparks flew everywhere and a puff of smoke appeared around the young girl drawing the attention of everyone in the mall except for the two blondes still busy making out on the floor.
As the smoke cleared, the hair of a crisp Anzu was sticking in every direction imaginable.
Just at that moment Yugi and Yami walked in the mall paying no attention to the blondes since they were use to the two of them. The pair had walked to the mall wondering what was taking Malik and Marik so long. "Anzu what happened!" Yugi cried rushing over to his friend.
"Electrically bad," Anzu weakly replied as she began to faint away into the arms of Yami, who instead of catching her like a gentleman would do, let her drop to the floor with a thud.
"Yami!"
"What?" Yami asked giving his glaring Aibou an innocent look. Sighing Yami reluctantly picked her up and carried her out of the mall with Yugi and Bob following him. When they reached the van, which Malik had parked across two handicap spaces, Yami dumped her in the back before getting in the front to drive away.
"Uhh . . Yami?" Yugi asked when he noticed they were heading in the direction of Anzu's house.
"What is it Aibou?"
"Where are we going?"
"Anzu's house," Yami replied with a shrug.
"Why? Shouldn't we be now showing her the find aspects of Duel Monsters?"
"When she wakes up we'll lie and said we did but she just can't remember from the electrocution and the concussion."
"Oh, okay!" Yugi happily replied as he sat back and enjoyed the ride. As Yami turned the corner he reached down to turn on the radio but just as he did that everyone's favourite granny wearing an army helmet started walking across the road. Yami looked up in time to witness him running over the poor old lady's foot that made a loud crunching sound.
Yami shot a quick look at Yugi who had his eyes closed and missed the entire thing and in the back Bob was busy taping an unconscious Anzu for the show he as well had missed the entire thing.
Fortunately there were no other mishaps on the way to Anzu's place. And as they were pulling into the driving Anzu woke up. "My head," she groaned as Yugi helped her inside. Poor Anzu however was only inside for a matter of seconds before Ryou was dragging her in the kitchen.
"So what are you going to cook?" he asked while he sat down at the kitchen table and started flipping through a magazine and filing his nails at the same time.
"Uhh . . . maybe it's the concussion but aren't you suppose to cook?" she asked him. "I seem to remember when Honda was on the show we all got sick from that meal that Bakura made."
"Yeah, well, you see in our home Kura and I have a rule at our place and that rule is the girliest one cooks," Ryou informed her. "And that now applies to the show. Normally I would end up cooking but since you really are a girl you get to cook."
"But that's not fair!" Anzu protested. "Did you even invite my friends over for tonight or do I have to do that too?!"
"Actually I did try calling a few people but mysteriously enough when they found out the party was here they were all suddenly busy."
"Then if no one's coming, why am I cooking?"
"Good point," Ryou agreed. "I guess that means you get to see your new room now."
"Wait a sec, if you're now the cook, who redecorated my room?"
"Bakura."
With a scream Anzu went running towards her bedroom with Ryou, Yami and Yugi closely following her. When she reached the door she pulled it open to find Bakura inside.
"My room!" she wailed as the others took a peak. The room was now entirely black with various bondage toy scattered about the room. Yugi, Yami and Ryou naturally loved the room seeing they were into that kind of stuff.
While the trio congratulated Bakura on the well done with the room and Anzu continued to sob they all heard the front door open and then close. "Anzu sweetly!" a sugary voice called. "Your father and I decided to come back from our cruise early since we missed our baby girl so much!"
"My parents!" Anzu cried as she fainted, once again falling towards Yami who once again refused to catch her and instead let her fall to the floor.
"I wonder where she is?" the group heard her mother ask her father.
"She must be asleep in her room," came the reply. "Lets go wake her up!"
"I think it's time we got out of here," Ryou whispered to his friends then nodded their heads as they bolted towards the back door. As they ran outside they heard the screams coming inside from Anzu's mother.
"That was close," Yugi said as they piled into the van.
"I wonder if they'll like what I did to her room," Bakura mused before turning to the cameraman. "You did get a good shot of it didn't you Bob?"
"The name is George and yes I did."
"Good job, Bob. If you keep it up you'll get a raise," Ryou informed him causing Bakura and Yami to snort at the word 'raise'.
"Hey guys?" Yugi suddenly asked. "What happened to Malik and Marik?"
"I'm sure they're safe somewhere," Yami replied with a shrug.
*~*~*
Not far away at the Domino Police Department . . .
"Man who knew there was a law against public sex," Malik complained as he paced the holding cell he and Marik had been placed in. Fortunately they were the only two individuals in the cell at that moment.
"You know we never were able to finish what we started," Marik thoughtfully stated as he looked at Malik hungrily. "I wonder if this counts as a public place?"
"Only one way to find out," Malik devilishly replied as he attacked Marik with kisses.
*~*~*
It didn't take long for Yami, Yugi, Ryou, Bakura and Bob to arrive back at the studio where they were met by Mokuba.
"Sorry guys but we can't tape the rest of this week's show today," he told them as they exited the van. "I got a call from the police department that Malik and Marik were arrested for having sex at the mall this afternoon and I had to send everyone home so I can go bail them out."
The thought of Malik and Marik in jail cracked Bakura up who fell to the ground laughing.
"Come on you, lets go home," Ryou said as he dragged Bakura back up to his feet. Likewise Yami and Yugi headed home as well.
"Bob, get that footage over to the editing room while I go bail out the psycho blondes," Mokuba ordered as a limo pulled up and stopped in front of them which Mokuba immediately got into.
"But my name isn't Bob!" the poor cameraman cried as the limo drove away.