HOW IT HAPPENED
GLARWENOLAS: There's a book here. Perhaps it relates the Tale of Moria's demise. Here Gimli, read it.
Before Gimli could actually grasp the hety tome, Gandalf snatched it away. He looked at the binding.
GANDALF: A-hah. Just as I suspected. ADULT FICTION. Not for people under 500.
GIMLI: Awww, c'mon! It can't be that bad!
GLARWENOLAS: Actually, this book was the cause of the Downfall of Moria. Remember the sign on the doors, "Please do not submit material rated NC- 17"? Those stupid Dwarves read the book, and were doomed.
Gandalf glanced at the hybrid with concern. Gimli stood and processed the information.
GIMLI: And you were giving it to me?
Gandalf opened the book to the final page.
FELLOWSHIP: What are you doing?!
GANDALF: Reading the last page wouldn't hurt anybody...
GLARWENOLAS: Actually...
GANDALF: Oh, there's nothing on the last page. Um.
The wizard counted fifty before he found last page of print. Meanwhile Gimli had uncovered many little secret trap doors. In one he found a cache of shampoo. Thoughtfully, he offered half of them to Legolas.
LEGOLAS: I don't use shampoo. It damages the brain.
BOROMIR: Where did you hear that?
LEGOLAS: The Health Channel.
Gandalf looked up from his book enthusiastically.
GANDALF: Hey, this is great guys! Wanna here the last bit? Listen. "We cannot get out. They are coming. We cannot get out. They are coming. We cannot get out. They are coming. We cannot get out. THEY ARE HERE!"
Gandlaf closed the book contentedly. He was rather surprised to see the Dwarf, hobbits and men all crouching in a corner, shivering. The two elves even looked like they were having a hard time keeping their composure.
HOBBITS/MEN/GIMLI: I'm soo scared!
GANDALF: Guess they were right about no one under 500.
LEGOLAS: I am totally creeped out, dude. I need some ketchup.
FELLOWSHIP, except ARAGORN: KETCHUP!!!!!!
GLARWENOLAS: There's a book here. Perhaps it relates the Tale of Moria's demise. Here Gimli, read it.
Before Gimli could actually grasp the hety tome, Gandalf snatched it away. He looked at the binding.
GANDALF: A-hah. Just as I suspected. ADULT FICTION. Not for people under 500.
GIMLI: Awww, c'mon! It can't be that bad!
GLARWENOLAS: Actually, this book was the cause of the Downfall of Moria. Remember the sign on the doors, "Please do not submit material rated NC- 17"? Those stupid Dwarves read the book, and were doomed.
Gandalf glanced at the hybrid with concern. Gimli stood and processed the information.
GIMLI: And you were giving it to me?
Gandalf opened the book to the final page.
FELLOWSHIP: What are you doing?!
GANDALF: Reading the last page wouldn't hurt anybody...
GLARWENOLAS: Actually...
GANDALF: Oh, there's nothing on the last page. Um.
The wizard counted fifty before he found last page of print. Meanwhile Gimli had uncovered many little secret trap doors. In one he found a cache of shampoo. Thoughtfully, he offered half of them to Legolas.
LEGOLAS: I don't use shampoo. It damages the brain.
BOROMIR: Where did you hear that?
LEGOLAS: The Health Channel.
Gandalf looked up from his book enthusiastically.
GANDALF: Hey, this is great guys! Wanna here the last bit? Listen. "We cannot get out. They are coming. We cannot get out. They are coming. We cannot get out. They are coming. We cannot get out. THEY ARE HERE!"
Gandlaf closed the book contentedly. He was rather surprised to see the Dwarf, hobbits and men all crouching in a corner, shivering. The two elves even looked like they were having a hard time keeping their composure.
HOBBITS/MEN/GIMLI: I'm soo scared!
GANDALF: Guess they were right about no one under 500.
LEGOLAS: I am totally creeped out, dude. I need some ketchup.
FELLOWSHIP, except ARAGORN: KETCHUP!!!!!!