A/N: Um, yeah, updates are a little slow. Why? Because I went from sitting on my butt writing because I was bored, out of school and unemployed, to working 3 different jobs. One full time and two part time, which means that some days I am up for 27 hours or more at a time and work 24 of that. It leaves precious little time for sleep, let alone writing, typing it all up and sending it to my awesome beta to correct and castigate before I fight my family for the computer to post.
Rest assured though, I am working hard on this in my head, and I promise that I will finish it, hopefully in the next month or so. Meanwhile keep the reviews coming; it inspires me to work on this rather than sleep. *grins*
Yes, this chapter is short, but that's because while this one gave me a headache with all the problems I had with it, the next is giving me a migraine. I think you would all rather have something short rather than a long agonizing wait. JKR is already giving us those in spades. Besides, this is important, and gives you something to think about for a while.
Disclaimer: You've heard this before, so I'm not going to repeat it. On with the story.
Chapter 36
Harry strode through the City quickly and out into the plains, following the path Death had taken. Briefly he looked around and wondered what was beyond the horizon. All he could see here was the ancient city rising behind him and surrounded by endless stretches of rolling hills of verdant grasses. But surely there was something more to this realm.
He shook his head and hurried out into the hills, focusing on finding Death. She was quite easy to track, as he was bound to her through their pact, body and soul, like a puppy on a leash. He could feel her presence as he walked through the unmarked plains to the place where they had first met.
Death stood at the top of a low hill in the distance, her back to him and head bowed. Harry slowed his approach, eyeing her cautiously. Her presence called to him like a beacon, but her thoughts were tightly closed off, appearing almost as a solid wall to him. But her emotions were another thing entirely.
Gone was the ice cold implacable Death he first met out here. Now she radiated power, cold yet confused, and much to his consternation she was acting like . . . like a woman, with the full emotion range of one. Her posture spoke of proud weariness, defiance and loneliness in her tense shoulders and hanging head.
Harry bit his lip, considering as he looked at her turned back, eyes narrowed as if to gaze beneath the physical form to the essence underneath.
Then a well-known voice piped up in the back of his head. "So what are we going to do with the bitch?"
Harry groaned internally. He had wondered where he had gone. "Would it be too much to ask for you to just leave?"
"Can't leave," Wraith said smugly. "I belong here."
"You belong in a mental institution."
"Um, Mr. Pot, an owl for you from Mr. Kettle. Something about dark as a blackboard," Wraith responded mockingly. "So Black, what do we do with the bitch?"
"Don't call her that," Harry growled at him, this mental duality combined with the strain of his other problems thinning his patience considerably.
"Oh, that's right. Fate is the bitch. Death's just being a possessive man eater. What are you going to do about it?"
Harry shook his head, wishing that for once Wraith could offer him a viable suggestion. "I don't know. We can't stay like this, but she won't let go."
Wraith smirked. "I say we fight her. Her back's turned, she's not expecting it, and she's already been weakened."
Harry snorted derisively. "What are we going to do? Kill her?"
"No," came the insulted response, "Just go and beat the crap out of her, then take what you need."
"And exactly how do you propose we do that?" Harry rolled his eyes. "Is that your answer to everything? Beat it up, blow it up, slice it, dice it and otherwise destroy it?"
Wraith didn't answer, but he didn't need to. "Listen, Demolition Man, either help me with this, or go play in a minefield. We can't do a frontal assault, even if her back is turned. A confrontation with her right now will turn us into a little greasy spot on the grass. We need to convince her. Do this subtly."
Needless to say, subtle was not in Wraith's vocabulary. "What, you want to go up and ask nicely?" He sounded disgusted. "How do you propose we 'convince' her to give up? She has everything she needs and wants."
Harry kept his gaze on Death as he tentatively tried to feel something along their bond. The confused mix of emotions were still there, and he remembered his words to the Guardians. "Not everything," he murmured quietly, then walked over to Death. Wraith quieted down to watch the show, interest piqued.
Could he do this? Well, he couldn't die again, so that wasn't a worry. But this required delicacy and emotional sensitivity: He had to deal with an emotional female Death on matters of the heart, and that scared Harry more than the final battle with Voldemort/Lucifer had.
He wasn't very good dealing with emotional women. His awkwardness around Hermione and Ginny at times made that quite apparent. Hell, as a teenage guy he barely could deal with his own feelings. Plus he'd trained himself to repress them, to be hard and cold as stone. But maybe, just maybe, if he could open himself up, he could pull this off.
Quietly he walked up behind Death, mind casting for something to say. Death took no notice of him, so caught up in her own thoughts. Harry stood directly behind her, only a hand's breadth between their bodies, leaned forward and whispered in her ear, "Lonely at the top, isn't it?"
Death raised her head and turned a bit, not quite looking at his face. "The others told you what I did? And why?" He nodded and she sighed nearly inaudibly.
"I did not set out to rearrange the universe. I . . . I simply wanted to be normal again, not weak and barely more than a Shamak'la. The others laugh at me when they think I cannot hear. I know they think I deserve to be brought so low and to remain there as penance for my servant breaking free."
Harry murmured, "But that wasn't your fault. You've suffered enough already, and more besides."
She nodded slowly, gazing into the distance. "All I wanted was for it to end," she whispered, a tiny note of sorrow coloring her voice.
"I understand." Gently Harry brought his arms up to encircle her around her waist, and she stiffened in surprise. He tried not to let his own discomfort show – he wasn't used to hold a woman, let alone one who wasn't human. And the fact that it was Death made that worse.
Harry noticed that she felt cool in his arms, not the bitter chill he had expected from the first time he met her. Instead she felt as if she'd been outside on a chilly night for a bit too long.
That made him think of Eva, of that not-quite dream on the roof, and instinctively he held her closer as if to share body heat and warm them both, cradling her in his arms. Death resisted at first, clearly surprised and uncertain, but then he sensed a slight crack appear in her armor as she closed her eyes and relaxed back against him.
He smiled inwardly. Maybe if he treated her like she was Eva, he could get somewhere in this battle of wits and wills.
He murmured in her ear, "We are two of a kind, you and I. We both were helpless before a greater force, and we swore never to be that way again. But to make it all stop, we became greater than we expected. You the undisputed master of all the Guardians, and I the legendary warrior and controller of Destiny and Death."
She shuddered, and he tightened his hold briefly in a hug. "Only you can know what I've been through, just as only I can understand why you did what you did. Both of us were split and long to be whole again. We both did what we though was the right thing to do."
Death stood there for a moment, then stiffened and tried to break out of his embrace. "No. You cannot understand. I do not even understand. We are too different." She pushed away from him and he let her go, watching as she walked a few steps away with her back turned to him. He had to act now.
He called softly, "I understand that you're lonely."
She stopped dead in her tracks, and he continued, "It feels like you're alone, so terribly alone that it hurts, doesn't it? You want to scream and rage, to do anything to make it stop, to destroy something as long as it numbs the pain, fills the emptiness."
She didn't say a word, but he detected a minute tremble in her shoulders. "You long for something, but you don't know what until you find it."
Her head was bowed again and she swallowed hard. If she was human, Harry would have sworn she was about to burst into tears. Surprisingly his own heart ached slightly with her pain, knowing that he was the cause of at least part of it. And here he thought he could never feel any emotions again.
Inspiration hit him, and he said impulsively, "All you wanted was to be normal again, yet now you're an outcast. You wanted to be part of the group, have that sense of comradeship that you were created with. It's been denied you too long."
Death was shaking when she finally rounded on him, hands clenched in fists. "And what can you do about it?" she fairly hissed. "You are my property, nothing more. If I wanted companionship I could find it elsewhere than in an unworthy troublesome mortal!"
Harry only arched an eyebrow. "Then why didn't you?" he countered. "Why did you focus all your energy, go to such lengths to make me yours? Even to the point of violating your Code and threatening your very existence?"
She stared at him with wide eyes before whirling back around without an answer. He took a step towards her. "Love said it. You are connected to me by one of her threads."
Another step. "And more, you wanted an equal."
Another step, even closer. "The other Guardians are by nature different from you. You want someone to match you, to understand you."
"You are not my equal!!" she spat back over her shoulder.
He only chuckled dryly, laughing in the face of Death as she spun at him, this time with her hand raised. He caught a flash of intense anger from her, mixed with something else, but he didn't have time to ponder that. She shot a stream of black icicles straight at him, razor sharp points glinting in the light as they aimed for his chest.
Harry retaliated with a jet of fire, a brilliant arch of flames that flowed from his hand to meet the ice head on. The two met in the middle, and a brief battle raged in the air before they cancelled each other out and disappeared.
Death stared at Harry, bother their hands still raised towards each other as if in greeting. He stared right back at her intently, mentally begging for her to lower her walls and surrender to him. As if she heard him, she lowered her hand and turned away yet again, giving her head a little shake as her walls snapped back up higher than ever.
Harry let his own hand drop as he said, "You see? Who else can meet your challenge? Who else dares to?" He sensed her confusion through their bond.
Death muttered to herself, "That is impossible." Her tone indicated that she was quickly doubting everything she knew.
He nodded and took a step towards her, wanting to keep a distracting physical proximity to her. "I am impossible. As are you. Neither should be what we are."
Her breath quickened as she shook her head again, thinking hard. Finally she said grudgingly, "Equals we may be in power, but we are still opposites. I am ice. You are fire. I freeze in my darkness while you burn in your own light."
She tensed as he stood behind her and whispered, nearly purred in her ear, "They do say opposites attract."
She turned her head slightly away from him, but at the same time leaned back slightly as if yearning from him to embrace her again, the evidence of the battle between her head and her emotions.
He let his breath tickle along the side of her neck as he murmured, "Can't ice burn too?"
He could have sworn she whimpered. He grinned to himself and encircled her in his arms again, simultaneously sending a surge of positive emotions through their bond. The small crack widened as the walls started to shake, and she submitted to his embrace instantly, resting her head back on his shoulder so that he could lean his cheek against her cold one, which was starting to warm.
They were equal height, he noted, and like this she fit perfectly against him. He held his tongue for a long moment, enough for her to really relax against him, then murmured, his breath wafting past her cheek like as caress, "You want me, don't you?"
Death didn't move, but he knew she was listening. "You want me to be there for you, to support you. You want me to hold you and shield you. You want me to let you lean on me just like this, to be the only one you can give up control to."
She shivered, a fine tremble that move through her entire body, and her hands clasped over his, resting on her stomach. He turned his face so that his lips nearly touched her ear as he whispered, "You carry such a burden." He nuzzled her hair a bit, pushing the silver strands away from his face. "Let me help you."
Now that was a whimper. Her eyes fluttered closed, and finally she breathed out, "Yes."
With that single word, the last of her walls came down in a mighty crash and the bond between them was fully open.
Instantly Harry was inundated with her, her power and presence, as he suddenly and completely knew what it was to be a Guardian. This was like when he had touched the talisman for the first time, but so much more personal and, dare he say it, intimate.
He hadn't been this open to anyone since he and Eva had shared a full mental bond. But somehow this was more complete and intense, cold edged with fire. Instead of the warm comfort of Eva's presence in a single spot in his mind, this was a tidal rush that occupied every part of him, seeking out the hidden corners and holes to fill and flood.
Harry closed his eyes and held Death tighter, anchoring himself to something real as his entire being rocked and reeled under the overload.
Eventually he settled and breathed out as he adjusted to the massive power influx still flowing between them. Death now felt warm in his arms, the ice finally melted into a sea where both of them floated in the depths. They were equals now, two souls shared more intimately than the clones had, joined and fused with a greater source of power.
Death relaxed against him, her face turned and hidden in the side of his neck, her breath tickling the fine hairs there. She seemed more than satisfied to stay there and remain exactly as they were, contentment humming through their bond.
Harry allowed himself to enjoy this for a moment, his own loneliness finally assuaged for the first time. She wasn't Death, just a woman in his arms loving him. He closed his eyes and let himself feel everything about this moment, hoping to etch it into his mind for eternity.
Oh, how he wished . . .
But that didn't matter. Equality had not part in the task he had to accomplish, and the universe didn't care about his happiness. Death sensed his resignation and raised her head, meeting his eyes with concern. "Harry?"
He shivered a bit. When was the last time someone had called him by name? It seemed a lifetime ago. It made his heart ache, and she felt it. He looked into her eyes, seeing his own emerald reflected in quicksilver pools.
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
With all his strength, Harry struck, reaching along their bond to began drawing more of her energy to him, taking everything he could. The world around him swirled and wavered as reality fizzled under the sudden onslaught, but his gaze remained fixed with hers. Her eyes widened as she felt what he was doing, and her lips moved as if to protest, but nothing emerged.
Briefly she struggled, both mentally and physically, but his arms held her still and tight against him as he used her assault to draw even more from her. The ocean that they had both been floating in was now draining, not away but directly into him, ice cold whirlpools filling him and threatening to spill over. Power throbbed through him forcefully, straining his limits, but still he took more.
Their gazes held throughout, his reflecting determination and apology, hers betrayal and horror as her power was completely drained. The silver of her hair and eyes began to dim to a dull cloudy gray, while his eyes burned brighter and darker. It seemed as if stars could have been born and died in the time it took for him to complete his mission.
Finally Death's eyes rolled back in her head and she slumped against him, sliding down into the grass as all strength left her. Harry caught her and gently lowered her to the ground so that she rested on her hands and knees.
Slowly she raised her head and looked him in the eye, ice tears sparkling on her cheeks magnifying the depth of her betrayed feelings. Harry winced a bit and lightly stroked her silver gray hair, trying to give her what comfort he could when he himself now felt ice cold.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly, "but it had to be done. I have to finish this." He stood and looked down at her kneeling at his feet for a second., then turned away.
He left her there as he walked out of sight of the city, created a portal between realms and stepped through.
********************************
The Guardians emerged from their chamber and hurried out into the plains at a dead run. They had felt the disturbance in the magic of the city – actually, calling it a disturbance was an understatement, rather like calling a massive volcanic eruption a flea burp. Needless to say, they had to know for sure.
Fate sprinted through the grass with Chaos right beside her, hoping frantically that they were mistaken. Admittedly, that was a very slim, frantic and unlikely hope. An immense power shift like that wasn't hard to identify, and right now there was only one possible reason for it.
But she still had to hope that irritating mortal hadn't screwed up yet again.
Just then she saw a flash of silver and stumbled to a halt, hopes crashing down around her as she stared dumbly at the impossible sight of Death crumpled to her knees.
Death never faltered; not in the battle with the talismans, not when her servant faced her directly with her own weakness, not even when the whole of the Council was against her. She was always proud, merciless, untouchable and above all strong, never showing weakness.
To see her like this, brought so low, meant that the worst thing possible had occurred.
Fate sighed heavily and knelt down next to Death, tentatively putting a gentle hand on her shoulder. Death looked up at her, eyes gleaming icy gray from unshed tears, then in an uncharacteristic move laid her head on the Guardian's shoulder with a shuddering breath that sounded almost like a sob. "He left. He left me," Death whimpered. "He betrayed me and left."
Fate rubbed her back in small soothing circles, hiding her perplexity at Death's words. "He is a mortal with a purpose to fulfill. Of course he left. Why does that upset you so much?"
Love crouched down beside them, her golden eyes gleaming in a young beautiful face. "The ones we love have the power to hurt us the most," she murmured with compassion. "I have seen this many times."
Death shook her head slightly, face still buried in Fate's shoulder. "You don't understand. With him, I felt . . . complete, like I never have before. Not even before she left have I ever been so content. And then he abandoned me, took everything and left me with nothing."
She glanced desperately at Love, face drawn and eyes slightly reddened. "Why do I feel this way? How could you make me love? Especially for a mortal? I . . . . I've wanted him since before I even met him."
Love shook her head sadly. "I do not know how you could have fallen in love with him. Guardians are not supposed to love or feel anything strong for mortals, other than a sense of duty or compassion. But he has caused many impossible things before."
"And you were fool or mad enough for him to share everything. Now we have a mortal running around with the powers of a super enhanced Death." Chaos sighed heavily, then raised his arms above his head and stretched like a cat. "Sounds like a bad comic book," he commented sardonically, earning a dark warning scowl from Nature.
Love turned a reproachful look to him, as if to tell him now was not the time for jokes. Chaos only shrugged unapologetically, then looked out into the distance in almost serious contemplation. But serious was not a major part of his character. "So what do we do now, Miss Lonely Hearts?"
"More like Aunt Agony if you ask me," an unexpected voice came from behind them, and as Death stiffened Chaos turned to see Eva approaching them. She ignored the glare Destiny sent her way and knelt beside Death, an unreadable look in her eyes.
"Harry is back at Hogwarts, or what's left of it, at least. He's getting ready to find the talismans where Lucifer left them."
Death straightened and looked intently at Eva. "You heard everything, didn't you?"
Eva nodded. "I was in the chamber. I heard and felt what he did out here too."
Fate glared daggers at her at close range. "You're part of the reason this whole plan went to pieces. You've been helping him against our wishes."
Eva shot her a dark look and growled. "By the time you made your displeasure loudly known, it was far too late to change things." She turned to Death and said softly, "I've been helping you, too. All those Death Eaters sent to my realm were deposited in your playground."
Death nodded faintly. "I noticed. It did help. Thank you."
Eva reached out and touched Death's cheek, and for a long moment they simply looked at each other. Then Eva nodded and withdrew her hand as she stood. "I need to talk to Harry."
Time touched her arm and she turned to him with a questioning look. "What will you tell him?" he asked gently, ancient blue eyes spearing into hers. "He thinks you lied to him after you said you'd be the one to tell him the absolute truth. The betrayal here was done by all, manifested in one. How do we know he won't hurt you too?"
Eva sighed, her face twisting briefly with pain. "I have to risk it. He needs to know. He cannot fulfill the Prophecy unless he knows the full consequences." She glanced at Death still on her knees in Fate's care. "He deserves to know the truth, and to decide how best to let it set him free."
She met Destiny's eyes, which were simultaneously reproachful and apprehensive. "He may have conquered Death, but he has yet to conquer me."
Without another word, she stepped through the fabric of the universe and disappeared from the realm of the Guardians.
Nature shook her head, her hands twisting with worry. "Foolish girl. What does she hope to accomplish with this? What is done cannot be undone by her."
Love narrowed her eyes thoughtfully, glancing down at Death. "Maybe, maybe not. But Death is not the only one Harry shared a bond with. Perhaps Eva knows something that we do not and can exploit it."
Chaos cocked his head to the side like a dog listening to a distant whistle, a smirk of dark humor playing at his lips. "Seduction, betrayal, and the angel versus the phoenix. Now that would make a good comic book."