Carter couldn't believe what he had done. He had parked his car in front of the house and had been sitting out there for 15 minutes before he really realized where he was. He had driven home in a daze. Wondering. Wondering about everything.
He had finally managed to do it. He had finally stuck the letter in her locker. He knew it seemed so middle school to do things that way. But he knew he could never actually deliver the letter to her face. Now he just sat in his car wondering. Wondering how she was going to react. What this would mean, or do. Or if anything would happen at all. Event hough he was scared out of his wits of what might happen. He knew he did the right thing.
As he slowly entered the house he was greeted by boxes, a half painted wall, and baby furniture. He hadn't done a thing on the house since the baby died. He hadn't unpacked anything, or finished painting. He didn't even know what he was going to do with all the baby supplies. Hr didn't want to both with anything now though. All he wanted to do was go to bed.
But even as he crawled into bed, he knew he could never fall asleep, there was too much on his mind. So he did the only thing he could think of. He picked up a paint brush and went down stairs.
Carter knew that he would have to do this eventually. Before this, he couldn't because it brought back to many memories. But now, now that he had finally sent the letter. Now that things were finally out in the open, he felt like he could do anything.
Carter started on the first wall in living room. Choosing the color that he had always liked. Kem never really liked the color. But she wasn't there anymore, it wasn't her descision. He had always liked the yellow mediteranian color he was using. It had been the color of Gamma's sitting room for most of his childhood. When he was 20 she repainted it. But he never forgot that color. He would spend hours, just lying on the counh in that room. Watching the light on the ceiling, slowly moving as the day wore on.
With out even realizing it Carter found himself crying. He wasn't crying out of sadness. Mostly just as a release. He didn't tr to stop inmself. It felt good to cry. Well at least cry as a release, not because he was sad. -----
Carter was shocked when he looked at the clock and realized it was almost one. He had managed to finish painting. And was now rearanging the furniture. Things were starting to look like an actual living room. He was proud of what he did. Mostly because he felt better than he had felt for the past month. He wasn't hurting. Well, at least not as much as before. He felt he had managed to inch a little up the well he had fallen into. And for the first time in almost a month. He was smiling. He knew it was stupid to feel so proud about a room. But he didn't care this was the most he had done in a long time.
He slowly climbed the stairs. His exashtion finally weighing down on him. He collapsed into bed with out another thought and was asleep before his head ever hit the pillow.
He had finally managed to do it. He had finally stuck the letter in her locker. He knew it seemed so middle school to do things that way. But he knew he could never actually deliver the letter to her face. Now he just sat in his car wondering. Wondering how she was going to react. What this would mean, or do. Or if anything would happen at all. Event hough he was scared out of his wits of what might happen. He knew he did the right thing.
As he slowly entered the house he was greeted by boxes, a half painted wall, and baby furniture. He hadn't done a thing on the house since the baby died. He hadn't unpacked anything, or finished painting. He didn't even know what he was going to do with all the baby supplies. Hr didn't want to both with anything now though. All he wanted to do was go to bed.
But even as he crawled into bed, he knew he could never fall asleep, there was too much on his mind. So he did the only thing he could think of. He picked up a paint brush and went down stairs.
Carter knew that he would have to do this eventually. Before this, he couldn't because it brought back to many memories. But now, now that he had finally sent the letter. Now that things were finally out in the open, he felt like he could do anything.
Carter started on the first wall in living room. Choosing the color that he had always liked. Kem never really liked the color. But she wasn't there anymore, it wasn't her descision. He had always liked the yellow mediteranian color he was using. It had been the color of Gamma's sitting room for most of his childhood. When he was 20 she repainted it. But he never forgot that color. He would spend hours, just lying on the counh in that room. Watching the light on the ceiling, slowly moving as the day wore on.
With out even realizing it Carter found himself crying. He wasn't crying out of sadness. Mostly just as a release. He didn't tr to stop inmself. It felt good to cry. Well at least cry as a release, not because he was sad. -----
Carter was shocked when he looked at the clock and realized it was almost one. He had managed to finish painting. And was now rearanging the furniture. Things were starting to look like an actual living room. He was proud of what he did. Mostly because he felt better than he had felt for the past month. He wasn't hurting. Well, at least not as much as before. He felt he had managed to inch a little up the well he had fallen into. And for the first time in almost a month. He was smiling. He knew it was stupid to feel so proud about a room. But he didn't care this was the most he had done in a long time.
He slowly climbed the stairs. His exashtion finally weighing down on him. He collapsed into bed with out another thought and was asleep before his head ever hit the pillow.