DARLING COMPANION

"Frasier, you're late," hissed Roz as a very unkempt Frasier stumbled in.

"I know," the man agreed tiredly. "I'll explain later."

After Frasier's opening remarks, they took their first caller, Jon, a man who was feeling lonely.

"Hello, Jon. I am listening."

"I'm feeling lonely," the man stated immediately.

Roz rolled her eyes; she'd just noted that.

"Would you like to talk about it?" Frasier asked.

"Weelll," Jon held out in thought, "I used to live with my mother, and I really hated it. But then she married someone, and now I'm all alone. I thought this was what I wanted, but now it's so quiet around the house that I'm about to scream."

Frasier waited a moment before speaking. "I sense some parallels here...Jon, do you have any pets?"

There was a long pause. "No. Why?"

"Do you like dogs?" Frasier continued.

"Uh, yeah, I guess," Jon answered, sounding confused.

"Then I recommend getting a dog. That'll take care of both the quiet atmosphere and the loneliness. That is what you want, isn't it?"

Jon hesitated before replying. "Yes. Yes, it is. Thank you, Dr. Crane. I think I just might do that..."

Roz looked at Frasier through the sound-proof glass. "A dog?" she mouthed.

Frasier shrugged. It was an answer.

They continued on with the program.


DOGS AND WOMEN

"All right, so what's the excuse?" Roz asked after the radio show, putting down her headset. "Why were you so late?"

"Last night was a nightmare," Frasier groaned, rubbing his temples. He'd been waiting to complain about this. "My dad sent this little bitch named Jess over to my apartment, and of course I couldn't just send her back without giving her a chance. I fed her dinner and everything; then I made up her bed on the floor. I went to my room, but just when I was about to fall asleep I heard this incredible howling at my door, so I just let her in. She insisted on sleeping with me, which was all right for the first few hours, but then she kept nibbling on and biting my ear, and—" he cut off as he saw Roz's horrified expression. "What?"

"Ew, Frasier!" she exclaimed. "Keep your personal life to yourself."

Frasier blinked at her. "You wanted to know why I was late, and there's not much personal about—"

Roz stared at him, still disgusted. "Frasier, what's wrong with you?"

Frasier sat in silence for a moment, considering the question in a way she had not intended. What was wrong with him?

But he knew the answer to that. He was lonely.

But it was a different kind of lonely now. Jess had replaced his father's companionship, but now he wanted a woman's companionship. Someone to have and to hold for the rest of his life...

As Frasier mulled over what she had just said, Roz stared at him. When he had talked about his relationship with Jess, something strange had tugged at her. What had happened to him? Had he really gotten so jaded about his relationships?

Roz knew that she was probably similarly jaded, but she wanted so much for it to be otherwise. She wanted to be married to someone she loved, wanted to have a father for Alice. But she feared it was too late. Who would be willing to accept both Roz and her daughter? Roz was no longer unattached as she had been in her wild and free days. Surely, finding a husband would be next to impossible.

Frasier felt as if he were about to break down. "What isn't wrong with me?" he returned at last, almost sounding a bit frantic. "I'm divorced, I rarely get to see my son, and, even with Jess, my home still feels empty. I'm so lonely, Roz. I need female companionship."

Roz looked at him through narrowed eyes, feeling as if they had their lines crossed. "What about Jess? Doesn't she count as female companionship?"

The man stared at her blankly. "The dog?"

"Dog?" Roz exclaimed. "Is that what you call your girlfriends?"

"Girlfriend?" Frasier snorted. "She's not my girlfriend!"

"Oh, so she's just a several-night-stand? Does she know this?"

Frasier blinked at her. "Roz, what are you talking about? Jess is a dog."

"Yes, that's what you said, and I really don't think—" Roz cut off as something occurred to her. She stared at him suspiciously. "Does she bark?"

"All night long," he confirmed.

That wasn't a satisfactory answer for Roz. "Does she have a wet nose?"

"Yes. She looks just like Eddie, only female and in miniature. Roz, did you think I meant—"

"Oh, shut up!" Roz interjected, not wanting to touch on that particular subject any more. "I can't believe your dad got you a dog!"

"Neither could I," Frasier chuckled. Suddenly, he thought he knew what Roz had believed him to be talking about.

"Are you gonna keep her?"

He shrugged. "I wasn't going to at first, but now—I don't know."

Roz glanced at her watch. "I promised Alice I'd take her to the park today. Do you wanna come and bring Jess?" She smiled. "I know Alice would be happy to see her."

"Well," Frasier said, thinking. "All right. We'll come."