Two
"You okay chère?" Remy lifted his head from the pillow as Rogue slipped into the bedroom he was sharing with Piotr; when the Russian wasn't holding vigil at Asli's bedside.
She moved quietly in the darkness and sat heavily on the side of the bed allowing Remy to cradle her back against his body, "I will be…" Rogue sucked in a deep breath, "Can you…can you just hold me Remy?"
"Mais oui," he shifted position so that she could lie down next to him on the small bed, moulding their fully clothed bodies together.
Remy settled in wrapping Rogue in his arms and dropping his face into the hair that covered the back of her neck; breathing in the sweet vanilla smell that was simply Rogue, "You wanna talk about it?"
"It's just so…" she buried her face in the pillow and let out a small scream before lifting it out again-Remy didn't have to see her face to know she was biting her lip in agitation, "This whole thing is so fucking…messed up. How'd we get here Rem? How did things get so out of control? Piotr's a basket case and won't leave the clinic, Kitty's powers are permanently 'on', and Asli…shit."
Holding the woman he loved in his arms Remy thought about how lucky they were in comparison with the train wreak of a love triangle their friends were stuck in. Being in love with Rogue was by no means paradise on earth-that Remy was still sporting a black eye curtsey of his Gothic Belle attested to that. But he would rather deal with all the dizzying highs and terrifying lows than live without Rogue-to Remy that would be less than half a life.
It didn't even matter to him that he couldn't touch Rogue's skin-there was so much more to loving her than mere physicality-besides they had very active imaginations. As Remy would tell anyone willing to listen, you could be intimate without touching if you were creative. Surprisingly though, it wasn't those stolen moments that mattered most to the Cajun Casanova-the quiet times just like this were more precious than gold to him. "Dunno mon amour," he sighed softly letting the breath dance over Rogue's neck, "If it were just toi et moi- Remy'd say it be fate coming back to bite us in de ass. Mais, Petey and de Chaton are pure as de driven snow…and de man upstairs owes Asli…"
"Is that your way of just saying 'I don't know'?" Remy could hear the hint of a grin in her words.
Drawing his girlfriend tighter Remy laughed quietly, "Remy think so. You just got to have a bit of faith."
"Since when," Rogue rolled in Remy's arms so that she could face him while speaking, "Do you have faith in a higher power Mr. Atheist?"
Leaning forward Remy paused with his lips just above the uncovered skin of Rogue's forehead, "Since Le Bon Dieu gave dis lowly t'eif one of his own angels."
Before she could move or object Remy brushed his lips over her skin just long enough to make himself woozy and to allow Rogue to feel the contentment loving her brought to his soul. As Remy lowered himself flat on the bed, resting her head on his chest while he wrapped his arms around her body, "I love you too Swamp Rat."
The two southerners drifted off to sleep listening to their syncopated heart beats.
Tapping lightly on the door Scott pushed his head inside the med lab, "You called for me Piotr?"
"Da," The taciturn Russian nodded and waved Scott further into the room; scratching at his new beard growth with his free hand, "Rogue, Jean and Remy are sleeping…I did not want to leave her alone while I showered and shaved. According to Rogue I am in need of both."
Underneath the ruby quartz of his glasses Scott's eyes flicked to the small form on the bed then back to his one time roommate at the Xavier institute. Piotr really did need to clean himself up if they were going to fly back to the States in the morning-he looked like one of his distant Cossack ancestors, "Sure thing…"
"Thank you," Piotr smiled thinly, it was plain the strong man was under a mountain of strain as he let go of Asli's pale limp hand, "I did not want to leave her with a stranger."
A lump formed in the back of Scott's throat as he shook his head in agreement; somehow he doubted he'd be the first person Asli would want to see if she woke up. Actually, Scott figured he would be somewhere with Kitty, Magneto and the girl's own father at the bottom of the list. But he'd gladly stand vigil if it made Piotr feel better about taking some much deserved time to himself-it was the least Scott could do.
Nodding Scott watched blushing as the large man bent over to brush the hair from the girl's face and lay a chaste kiss on her white forehead. He murmured something in Russian too low for Scott to make out the words-not that he spoke the language any way. The field leader of the X-Men found himself embarrassed by the pure intimacy of the simple gestures, like he was intruding on a very private moment. Summoning his voice Scott coughed, "Why don't you eat something too Piotr…we're going to be heading out once everyone's had a chance to rest and Psylocke's sedation wears off."
"Would you like anything?" Piotr asked straightening himself and shooting one last glance at the bed.
Scott smiled softly with a shake of his head, "Nah, I'll grab some coffee when you come back and before I wake the others. You know how Jean and Rogue can be before they get their caffeine fix."
"Indeed," a small smile lifted Piotr's lips and he turned from the room leaving Scott alone with Asli and the steady sound of her heart monitor.
The bespectacled man watched his team-mate leave before sinking into the chair set next to the bed with a heavy sigh. Somehow Scott had never envisioned his first opportunity alone with Asli quite like this, for one in Scott's mind's eye the hacker was conscious-not the sickly quiet that stilled her now. It was unnatural in more ways than one.
Running a hand through his already messy hair Scott looked down at her trying to feel any of the resentment or guilt he had stored up in connection to Asli Fraser over the last year and a half. It surprised him to no end to find both missing. Scott had taken a lot of time to think about his feelings for the girl; he no longer hated her as he had when she had defected to Magneto with Rogue in tow. Nor did the responsibility he normally felt for her 'death' rise to the surface. The realization made Scott feel a little dizzy-he had been carting his negative emotions around like luggage for so long that their disappearance was a bit disorientating.
The comatose girl before him had done something to Scott Summers that losing his parents, living on the streets for years or fighting evil as a superhero had done. She had shattered his black and white world view-none of Asli's actions could be so easily categorised as right or wrong. She killed when she had to, she stole if need be and certainly wasn't above lying even to those she loved most-but it had all been in the name of a greater good. She had been a leader worthy of his respect and despite all her flaws an X-man at heart.
Another sigh ripped it's way from between his lips as Scott berated himself for such maudlin thoughts. Taking Asli's hand in his Scott marvelled at how tiny and delicate it felt, "They say people in comas can hear what's said around them…I wish I had had a chance to say it before but…I'm sorry…I'm so sorry."
Saying the words out loud for the first time Scott Summers took the important first step in forgiving himself.
Kitty's head shot up as the sound of foot steps passing her cell reached her ears, "Is some one there?"
Moving to the door she gazed out the window trying to see just who was passing through the lab. Even in the darkness Piotr's form was unmistakable and Kitty's heart plummeted into her stomach with a sickening 'thud'. With a deep breath Kitty curled her hands into fists and made herself speak, "Piotr?"
The shadow stopped in its tracks and walked towards the window. Kitty could feel her heart return to its home in her chest and beat well into her throat with each step until Piotr's face could be made out in the faint light that passed through the glass. "What is it?" His voice was as cold as his eye's; almost making Kitty wish for the anger he had shown before.
"I'm sorry," she held back a sob-at least he was talking to her now, "I'm so sorry…"
"What is done is done." His English grew more formal; a sure sign that Piotr's emotions were running high.
Swallowing back the tears she could feel rising Kitty leaned against the glass, "I never meant to hurt her…"
"Not consciously," Piotr's eyes didn't soften, "But I know well how you resented Asli."
Cold, bitter anger rose in Kitty's throat-now he took the time to consider her feelings? "Oh it's a fine time to read my mind. Why didn't you try that every time you fell asleep clutching her letter? Or when you called her name in your sleep? Or any of the hundred times you looked at me wishing you were with HER?" Kitty's voice rose with anger and hysteria, "Do you have any clue what it was like for me?"
Piotr stared at her dispassionately through the window making Kitty even angrier. Slamming her hand against the glass she snarled, "Of course I 'resented' her! Who the fuck wouldn't…you set her up to be some kind of ideal that I could never live up to. No matter how much I loved you or how I took care of you or your sister. Nothing was ever good enough because I was alive and she was dead! There was never any way for us to compare-even when Asli was still alive. Do you have any idea how fucking hard it is to love a man that is obsessed with a ghost? How hard it was to watch you love someone who threw away every opportunity to love you…who jumped into the beds of other men…Do you?!"
"Enough!" Piotr's shout reverberated through his giant chest but his deep blue eyes were resigned, "We both made our mistakes…I am sorry that I hurt you Katya…that was never my intention."
Sighing Kitty felt all of her rage leave her body in one fell swoop only to be replaced with an aching nothingness, "Well we both know what road is paved with good intentions."
"That is so," His voice was so soft Kitty had to strain to hear the words, "All of this doesn't mean I didn't love you too Katya. There are many types of love."
Kitty lowered her head as she turned from Piotr-it was too hard for her to see all that naked emotion on his face, "I know. And maybe in another time and place we could have had that type of love."
"Perhaps."
As her hysteria ebbed away from her mind the tears Kitty had been holding back burst forth running freely down her face. Great hiccupping sobs drowned out the tread of Piotr's feet as he left the lab but Kitty knew he was gone any way. He had been the greatest love of her life so far and Kitty was grateful he hadn't said 'goodbye', she wasn't quite sure if her heart could take that. It was hard enough leaving the words unsaid between them but hearing them and knowing deep down that she would never smell the clean grass and paint smell that was purely Piotr again was another story.
Goodbye would have meant the end of everything-the close friendship that had heralded the romantic relationship, and the severing of Kitty's ties to Yana. Somehow that was the hardest blow for the X-Woman to face-she had always known she'd loose Piotr-but his little sister was like the daughter Kitty always wanted to have and losing that would have been overwhelming. It was a kindness she hadn't expected from Piotr.
"Didn't I tell you love was a bitch?" A familiar cockney accent appealed from the intercom.
Wiping at her eyes furiously with the heels of her hands Kitty faced Pete Wisdom, "Yeah well you forgot to mention the fact that she likes to back over your heart with a steam roller when she breaks it."
"Oooh," he smirked waving his hands carelessly in the air careful not to tip the open bottle of whiskey in his left hand, "I figured you'd be smart enough to learn that for yourself luv."
"I'm afraid," Kitty paused slightly, "That I missed that lesson."
"Too bad about that…there was a nice film strip and everything," He smiled then did something Kitty never would have guessed of the Brit-Pete Wisdom sobered for a moment, "You goin' to be okay luv?"
The tears that hadn't quite left began to flow once more as Kitty tried to understand why he was being nice to her, "I think so…I hope so."
"Tell you what?" Pete sidled up to the glass and lifted his bottle in a salute, "When Moria fixes you up I'll take you out for a good stiff drink to take your mind off it."
"I'm not twenty-one." Kitty pointed out blandly although the idea had it's merits.
Pete shook his dark head, "No worries…drinkin' age here is eighteen. How about it ducks?"
Despite or maybe because of Kitty's wish to be left alone her lips twisted upwards in a painful smile, "Sure why not?"
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Teehee…and so I attempt some ROMY fluff for my loyal readers…have I made up for the constant break ups yet? I figured it was about time for Kitty and Piotr to have their knock down drag out fight…and I even let Scooter feel a bit better about himself…makes me wish I left him brooding longer…oh well… I don't own the song 'With or Without You' it's U2's….ahhh…sweet sweet Bono.
With or Without You – U2
See the stone set in your eyesSee the thorn twist in your sideI wait for you Sleight of hand and twist of fateOn a bed of nails she makes me waitAnd I wait without you With or without youWith or without you Through the storm we reach the shoreYou give it all but I want moreAnd I'm waiting for you With or without youWith or without youI can't liveWith or without you And you give yourself awayAnd you give yourself awayAnd you giveAnd you giveAnd you give yourself away My hands are tiedMy body bruised, she's got me withNothing to win andNothing left to lose And you give yourself awayAnd you give yourself awayAnd you giveAnd you giveAnd you give yourself away With or without youWith or without youI can't liveWith or without you With or without youWith or without youI can't liveWith or without youWith or without youAnd the reviews….
Aberant- Yay….break the lurker curse…I've been feeling like this is an inferior work because so few people have reviewed…but I suppose this is all about quality over quantity. I'm glad you like this though….
Ishy- Come on…it's me of course there's angst…a krac fic without angst is like a winter without snow. I know but people have a hard time telling the difference especially if the only one they met was Malice…and Asli was never a saint. The way I was seeing Ororo's attitude towards things was that if there was no hope to let Asli die…it's a pretty realistic attitude. To let nature run it's course. Besides Storm's got some major grief going on here…it's only been like two weeks since the events in "Aftermath". When don't you want to hug Kurt and Logan? And Callisto's comment was more due to the fact that unlike the Morlocks Asli passed above ground…she was able to hide what she was…okay yeah its still bitchy. See…Kitty proves that repressed emotions are bad bad things. I gave you more Pete to make up for the uberfluff. I know the idea of someone waiting through thick and thin is soo sweet…I remember when my aunt was sick my uncle sat by her bed endlessly…it stuck with me. Yeah, Piotr's heading for major angst ville…it's a one way ticket too. Damn Leafs….loosing to a crappy team like Philly…grrrr.
Star of Chaos – Awwww…am I really the Angst fairy? Yeah I agree that Pete and Rogue could be nifty (And you do have too many other plot bunnies…I want my weekend reading Missy!) I was telling Ishy that I could see Remy and Wanda working in a weird way too…hmmmm….I liked the idea of Scooter redeeming himself (I can abuse him more in Wild Horses)…it was in the plan but glad someone else saw it…how'd it go for you? I really did need to clear room for all the Warren angst I'm adding to the Piotr/Kitty/Asli/Pete love rectangle of doom. Don't worry though…I do plan on throwing Warren an ninja shaped bone…