Three
April 21 2005
I had thought that my internship at New York's GraceMemorialHospital would have immured me to the pain and suffering of my patients. So many innocent victims caught in drive by gun fire, women with broken bones and other obvious signs of abuse returning to the side of their tormentor, drug addicted newborns. Not to mention the sad forgotten caste of sex workers often diseased or beaten by Johns or their Pimps-the walking wounded of economics and back alley abortionists. But now here all the detached reason that held my sanity together is slipping as I tour the small medical center set up in the wake of the Morlock Massacre to care for its victims.
It truly seems that God does not care for all his children and it breaks my heart. Why are the innocent the ones who suffer most?
I have saved those I could at great cost. It would cheer Angel to know he was not the only one whose salvation lay in amputation. But not all are so lucky. The little girl Torpid will die before the end of the week-I've done everything in my power but… In all my years as a doctor I have never felt so helpless. There are too many here that despite my skill, Xavier's equipment and Hank's assistance cannot be saved.
It's not in my hands and I can't accept that-there has to be something more I can do. I feel so useless here.
In the past I viewed my mutation as a curse. I never sought out others of my kind. I felt no kinship with those freaks of nature. I hid who and what I was zealously. I lived in fear of them and myself. Warren was the first of my kind that I met with an open mind-I had helped to care for the little girl he had accidentally knocked off the BrooklynBridge. I didn't know that at the time of course-I would have called the police immediately.
By the time he trusted me enough to share his secret; I was more than tired of staying in the shadows myself. But then I never saw myself in this position-the only trained doctor with twenty seriously injured mutants to treat. I don't think I've slept in weeks and if it wasn't for Hank I'd probably have given up long ago-that man is a marvel. No matter what he keeps going with a Shakespeare quote and a smile. It's like he's a blue, furry Energizer Bunny.
And now patient twenty one is slated to arrive at any time. Scott and Jean called when they left Muir so that we could be ready for them when they land. Apparently, the girl's powers have been surging without her mind there to control them-Dr. Mactaggart has kept her sedated just to prevent the destruction of medical equipment. I shudder to think what would happen if they got out of control over the Atlantic Ocean.
To keep Callisto and the Morlocks happy we've set up a private room for the girl. No one here will say it out loud but it's more for her safety than the sensitivities of the other patients-I wouldn't put it past Callisto to smother the girl the moment my back is turned. From what Dr. Mctaggart has told me about my patient though I doubt the girl would be left alone long enough for the Morlock Queen to do the deed. If she did then Callisto would be facing a ton of pissed of metal Russian-not to mention an invulnerable girl with super- strength and the ability to kill with a touch and Cajun thief. Then I think Wolverine would dice up the leftover pieces.
I never met this Asli, but I'm curious as to how she inspired such intense loyalty amongst the X-men. I've asked Hank about her but there wasn't much for him to tell me. She was a quiet girl who kept her own council-was respected by Xavier and managed to rid the world of Magneto. I remember Warren telling me about her when she came to New York with rogue to investigate a break in at his penthouse, but I know better than to ask his impressions of her now. But I have to wonder how he feels about all this; he lost nearly as much as the Morlocks but he didn't speak one way or another when the Professor announced Asli's return to the fold. I find that most…
Cecilia's head shot up as a soft knock sounded at her door. Setting down her journal and throwing a pillow over it she stood. "Come in."
The shaggy blue head of her assistant Hank McCoy poked through the opening, "They're about to land. Shall we meet them in the hangar?"
Pulling her shoulder length braids into a ponytail Cecila pushed her glasses up her nose and grabbed her black bag, "No time like the present."
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"How's she doing?" Jean looked up from the Blackbird's controls as her boyfriend re-entered the cockpit to sit next to her, they were about half way over the Atlantic. Half-way home.
Scott shook his head slightly and Jean quickly scanned their bond for any of the self-loathing he had been feeling in the last year, but all she found was concern for their team-mates. All in all a great weight had been lifted from his broad shoulders. It was a pleasant surprise; almost like having the old Scott back. Jean sincerely hoped there would be no more late night drinking binges or nightmares. She had felt so useless in the last year watching him do his level best to destroy himself. Watching him turn away from her and everyone else who cared.
Turning her head slightly Jean met Scott's gaze with a smile as he spoke, "I had to give her more of the sedative-she was starting to glow again. Betsy's sleeping comfortably …and Rogue finally convinced Piotr to have a nap."
One pale eyebrow lifted in wonder-the artist hadn't given any indication that he would sleep. He seemed too absorbed in his vigil…the pieces fell into place with a resounding thud. There was only one way Jean could think of that Rogue could get Piotr to sleep, "She touched him didn't she?"
A curt nod confirmed her suspicions, "It was the only way. If we let him keep going like that he'll kill himself. It's funny he used to complain about my storing when we were roommates-you should hear him."
For the first time since they had descended into the sewers to aid the Morlocks and found only death Jean laughed. Not just a chuckle but a full belly laugh, and it felt good. It didn't' take a telepath to sense Scott's confusion-it was written all over his face. Gaining some control over herself Jena still couldn't help smiling at her boyfriend, "I was doing a session with Rogue to work on her psyche control…we were using Asli because it always made Rogue feel like she was still around you know. Well…when she realized I was there I got an earful of how the worst part of staying with the X-Men at Magneto's order was rooming with me."
"Why was that?" Scott frowned; it was funny that they had Rogue to tell them how Asli had felt about them-the hacker had certainly never tipped her hand.
"According to her I snored." The corners of Jean's eyes crinkled with mirth, "Apparently, she and Piotr decided we were perfect for each other based on that fact."
In on the secret Scott couldn't help chuckling himself as he lightly set his hand over Jean's, "They don't know the half of it."
With that simple touch Jean could feel the love flowing from her best friend; how he had appreciated her standing by him even when he was set on destroying himself. Jean smiled at him before returning her undivided attention back to flying the Blackbird, knowing she didn't have to say anything. Sometimes love went beyond having to say the words.
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Using up her very last nerve of steel Kitty eyed the machine Moria was tinkering with just outside her cell. She wondered if it was supposed to look so intimidating-probably-that's the way doctors and mad scientists liked their gadgets, "That's supposed to turn my powers off?"
"That's the theory." The red headed doctor finished and closed the work panel on the gadget that looked like a small X-Ray machine, "I've been playing with the current going off the bio-electrical readings your Hank McCoy took when you were first injured…"
If Kitty hadn't been used to the said Mr. McCoy running off on technical tangents Moria would have lost her well before 'bio-electrical'. It never failed to amaze Kitty that although she could hack with the best of them, even break down and reassemble most computer systems with ease-she had to actually work for the A's she had gotten in biology and chemistry. High technology and mathematics just came easier to her. "Okay. And how do we do that?"
"Normally I'd say hop up on the table, but I think that's one formality we can do with out." Moria shrugged eyeing the machine warily, "You said you can remain tangible if you concentrate hard enough…"
Kitty moved closer to the glass nodding her head, "Yeah. But not for very long…"
"Then we'll just have to be quick about it." Moria smiled thinly-her eyes tight and worried.
Sucking in a deep breath Kitty nodded again; they would have to work fast and hope to hell it worked otherwise she'd phase through the machine and leave it a smoking ruin. Her eyes burned as the thought of destroying her only chance at returning to a normal life blazed through her mind. With effort she pushed the tears back and bit her lip determinedly at this point Kitty was willing to do anything including sell her soul to get control back. She had felt so incredibly useless since the fight in the Alley.
Regaining control over her powers would be a big step for Kitty towards taking back her life. Sure she really didn't have a home, or friends, or a boyfriend left but Brian had asked her to stay in England to help them out while Betsy was Stateside. Not to mention the fact that despite being the British version of Remy, Pete Wisdom had gone out of his way to be nice to her. The rational part of her mind told her that he probably just wanted to get in her pants but the effort he was putting in was appreciated. It had been a long time since Kitty had felt like the type of girl guys noticed and flirted with.
Levelling her blue eyes at Moira's invention Kitty gathered up her courage in her fists and took a hold of her own destiny, "I suppose we will."
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"You did what?" Pete asked nearly spitting out a mouthful of good twelve year old Scotch; it had taken him a few days but he had found Moira's personal stash.
Brian Braddock crossed his arms over his chest and locked eyes with his team-mate; lowering himself into a chair in front of Pete at the table, "I asked Kitty to stay."
"Why in bloody hell would you do a fool thing like that?" The dark haired man dashed back the rest of his glass to punctuate the sentence.
Rolling his eyes Brian sighed; he really hadn't been expecting this kind of reaction from Pete-the former spy had shown a little interest in Miss. Pryde-he should be happy she'd be sticking around. Besides, Brian couldn't help rushing to the rescue on this one; the girl seemed so utterly frail in the wake of everything that had happened, "Because she needed a place to go. She won't be able to handle going back to Xavier's right away and I doubt they'll be ready for her either. You told me yourself what her boyfriend…"
"Ex-boyfriend, mate." Pete corrected causing Brian to smile cunningly-it made Pete wish he hadn't opened his big mouth. Maybe he was right when he told Rogue his mutation was to make a superhuman ass of himself-it could be a secondary mutation.
Continuing where he left off Brian cleared his throat, "Anyway…The girl needs a chance to recover and they need to let their tempers cool. Why not kill two birds with one stone-especially since Bets is gone over there. You know that with just you, me and Meggan we won't be able to handle everything."
"It didn't have to be her," Pete grumbled reaching out to pour himself another Scotch-he needed it, really he did.
Brian reached out and pulled the bottle out of his friend's reach with a Cheshire smile plastered on his face, "Admit it Pete you like her. You've got a crush."
As the blonde man's voice began to take on a sing-song quality Pete frowned his eyes narrowing dangerously, "Naff off."
"I mean she's a little young for you…" Brian grinned enjoying the fact that he finally had a chance to get the better of the other man-it wasn't going to last so he'd enjoy it while he could.
Pete's expression grew even darker; if that were possible and he glared across the table, "I'm only gonna tell you once more mate…sod off…or I will stick a hot-knife so far up your…"
"Fine," Brian backed off knowing full well that Pete probably would try to clean his colon with a hot-knife if he pushed any more, "Suit yourself. But she's staying."
Standing Brian left the table to allow Pete to digest the fact that it was useless to argue any further.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%Yay! That was hard to get out…whew! So the plot thickens. So for those of you I didn't email about it…I've started working on a bigger, clearer better Cypher arc. Really all I'm doing is editing and rewriting parts of the first few stories to make them a bit heftier. Anyone interested can email me for a copy…I won't post it here at ff.net until I've got the first three stories done. But yes I hope the insights into Cecila, Jean and Brian and Pete pleases everyone…I know the Jott was kind of revolting but come on it's not like I pay attention to the GAP couple often.
I don't own the song 'Useless'…It's Imogen Heap's
Imogen Heap - Useless
I am a mirror, with no reflection
I am a razor, without my blade
I am the daylight, when the moon shines no
Who will want to make my sandcastle that's already made
I feel so useless, do you
Speak to an ear deaf to my voice
Look through your fear, still blind to my way
I reach to hold you, but I don't feel you there, do you
Even realize I'm here am I just wasting away?
No wasting away
Living, inside you play
My dying prayer, sealed in a scream
Unwelcome, and a conscious dream
I am your whore, without a name
I climb to fall, to begin again, to begin again
I climb to fall, suffer, hatred, deceit and pain
Anger, regret, loving in vain
I am an arrow, with no direction
My life your tarot, my picture your fate
I'm your becoming, so ill always be nothing
If i ever break away from you that day forth, you'll be living
My hate
Oh god help his fate
I'll watch you, watch you suffocate
And so on with the responses.
Star of Chaos – Yay…I think I'll wear a pouffy skirt and a tiara and wave a wand of Angst! Can I have wings too? Yeah I love Angel…she's an amazing writer…but man…I get sooooo depressed reading Dismal Angel…but like a real masochist I keep going back. Yes…well I'm far too lazy to type it all out…that's just me. I'm glad you liked my first foray into fluff land. Yeah, the only thing I really hate about Scott's character is his unbending this is how things are look at life…I mean the lines between good and evil aren't usually that well defined…he's starting to realize that and become a real human. I got my surprise! Yay and a chapter of Starting today…today too…I'm going to read once I've posted.
Truly Rogue – Hey…good to hear from you again…I hope school isn't too rough on you right now. Yeah….kitty's due for some happiness..
Pixie Flyer– What is it with satanic teachers and finals…teehee…I think its funny that while you guys bitch about it I listen to my roommate complain about her students…I think I did half her marking this week. I think I know where this is going…but don't quote me I like changing my mind.
Ishy – What not reviewing right away! I'm shocked! Shocked I say! grin But I suppose it was for a good reason….i would have understood if Oz had suddenly appeared in LA though. Yeah I've started adding stuff after sending you teasers so that it's not all the same…muhahahaha! I love it when you squeal…you stopped all the cars on the QEW. Come on…if I could have written it with Asli waking him up and kicking his ass I would have but it doesn't follow with the rest of my evil plan. Sorry. But at least he's aware that he'd get an ass kicking. Nah…I think the stick is going to be officially retired. Oh Kitty really needed to stop repressing…but a big part of why things were so bad was because she let Piotr get away with it…any other girl would have given him the boot long ago and just remained friends. But that's okay…now she can get even. She and Pete should have lots of fun together. That song is one of the saddest I know…it was begging…BEGGING to be used. We should stop with the Bono though…cause otherwise I'll think of another dumb slogan like "More Rock Less Pope." I told you that the mother of a friend of mine grew up next door to Bono right? Another one of my brushes with fame! Get your Krac fic they're angstily delicious! Yeah I like that one.
ScoobyD0530 – Welcome aboard the Angst train…one way to heartbreaksville. For some reason I can't let anyone be happy here…bear with me. Kitty has gotten the short end of the stick when it comes to men but maybe Pete will turn it around…maybe. Yay…you do know you can review anonymously…no need for an account but I'm pleased as punch you got one to review me. In the comics Pete was the guy Kitty dated after Piotr…so far I've stuck to that…but their break up was different because Asli is an OC. So the fun Piotr vs. Pete grudge match isn't on tap…or is it? I've been working my way slowly towards the fluff. I wanted it to count when I finally got to it instead of just throwing it in…I like it having emotional punch.
Melissarxy1 – Yep I like Pete…I read "Gaining Wisdom" you know…I just haven't gotten to review…I'm notoriously bad for that…I don't know why authors don't Evotise him more…I mean what's not to love about a chain smoking, snarky, drunken Brit? Glad you've enjoyed it…did you read the other stories in the arc? Cause if not wait till 'Cypher Redux' is ready it'll be more worth your while.