I am Nothing.
My powers come from the realm of the void, and I was created from the remnants of the Nothing that Naraku placed in the monk's hand. So I'm not even Nothing. I'm leftover Nothing.
At first, I thought that my powers were separate from my awareness and being. But then they did not sense me. My first battle, I was able to use the element of surprise because they could not feel my energy. My energy of Nothing.
But if I'm Nothing, why did I have to stifle tears at my brother, Goshinki's, death? It wasn't his death, really, but that all he knew, all any of us know, is Naraku. Had Goshinki been an independent demon, he might have escaped death at Inuyasha's claws. He might have been a worthwhile being.
If I'm Nothing, why do I care if Naraku crushes Kagura's heart? Why do I stiffen at the sound of her screams? Why do I ache when she looks at me and sees me only as an extension of Naraku. If I'm Nothing, isn't that what I'm meant to be anyway?
And even if I weren't Nothing, what are the flutters I get when I see Kohaku?
Do I even have a soul?
Yes.
Just not a complete one.
Naraku punishes Kagura with her heart.
He punishes Kohaku with memories.
My torture is my soul.
After my first failure, he ordered me to cast my own soul into the mirror. Unable to do else, I obeyed.
I still have nightmares, though I cannot sleep.
During that moment, my body began to die without my soul, and I have memories of both the darkness inside the mirror and the darkness inside my mind. For one instant, I was truly nothing but a swirl of- of what? Non- existence?
But then Naraku gave me my soul back. Not all of it.
Enough to function.
Enough to have to stifle tears.
Enough to care about my sister.
Enough for the flutters.
Enough to hate Naraku with every shred of my soul, mind, and body that I possess.
So, great as his evil is, you could say that Nothing hates him. But am I really Nothing? I wonder. I wish I knew.
Maybe someday someone will defeat Naraku.
Maybe they'll kill Kagura and I along with him.
But we might escape.
Maybe Kagura will begin to see me as more than Naraku's puppet.
Maybe I'll find out who I am under the Nothing.
My powers come from the realm of the void, and I was created from the remnants of the Nothing that Naraku placed in the monk's hand. So I'm not even Nothing. I'm leftover Nothing.
At first, I thought that my powers were separate from my awareness and being. But then they did not sense me. My first battle, I was able to use the element of surprise because they could not feel my energy. My energy of Nothing.
But if I'm Nothing, why did I have to stifle tears at my brother, Goshinki's, death? It wasn't his death, really, but that all he knew, all any of us know, is Naraku. Had Goshinki been an independent demon, he might have escaped death at Inuyasha's claws. He might have been a worthwhile being.
If I'm Nothing, why do I care if Naraku crushes Kagura's heart? Why do I stiffen at the sound of her screams? Why do I ache when she looks at me and sees me only as an extension of Naraku. If I'm Nothing, isn't that what I'm meant to be anyway?
And even if I weren't Nothing, what are the flutters I get when I see Kohaku?
Do I even have a soul?
Yes.
Just not a complete one.
Naraku punishes Kagura with her heart.
He punishes Kohaku with memories.
My torture is my soul.
After my first failure, he ordered me to cast my own soul into the mirror. Unable to do else, I obeyed.
I still have nightmares, though I cannot sleep.
During that moment, my body began to die without my soul, and I have memories of both the darkness inside the mirror and the darkness inside my mind. For one instant, I was truly nothing but a swirl of- of what? Non- existence?
But then Naraku gave me my soul back. Not all of it.
Enough to function.
Enough to have to stifle tears.
Enough to care about my sister.
Enough for the flutters.
Enough to hate Naraku with every shred of my soul, mind, and body that I possess.
So, great as his evil is, you could say that Nothing hates him. But am I really Nothing? I wonder. I wish I knew.
Maybe someday someone will defeat Naraku.
Maybe they'll kill Kagura and I along with him.
But we might escape.
Maybe Kagura will begin to see me as more than Naraku's puppet.
Maybe I'll find out who I am under the Nothing.