The Summer of Black
Poor Sirius. His mum has forced him to spend all of the summer before his sixth year with his cousins, Bellatrix, Andromeda, and Narcissa, and brother Regulus.. How will he survive? Well, we're not sure ourselves. We do know that he will be exchanging letters often with his buddies James, Remus and Peter. Cackle.
Prologue
"SIIIIIIIIIIIIIRIUUUUUUSSS!" Mrs. Black yelled shrilly.
"Yes?" Sirius replied through gritted teeth.
"Pack your bags!"
"You're throwing me out?" he exclaimed hopefully, with visions of the Potter house dancing in his head.
"No! You're spending the summer with your cousins! And your brother," she added as an afterthought.
"Yay!" Regulus squeaked, his eleven-year-old voice not quite mature.
"Shut up, Reggie. I mean, Regina!" Sirius said tauntingly.
"Muuuuuuuum!"
"SIRIUS! COME HERE THIS INSTANT!" she shrieked.
"I am here, Mother," he said, rolling his eyes.
"I am going to give you a spanking!" Calling to the house elf, she yelled, "Binky! Come give Sirius a spanking!"
"I thought you were going to give me a spanking," Sirius muttered.
"That's enough!"
~
Chapter One-The Curse"We're here!" Mrs. Black called as she dusted the Floo powder off of her new robes. Regulus appeared soon after.
Sirius slogged through the house, dragging his trunks behind him. "Andromeda?" he called hopefully. He did rather like her. She was in Gryffindor as well, unlike all his other Slytherin relatives.
"Hellooooo!" his aunt Ananda replied, sending chills up Sirius' spine.
"Hey Sirius," Andromeda said cheerfully, bounding down the marble stairs. "How's your summer been so far?"
"Gloomy," he whispered, so his mother couldn't hear. "Just great!" he said a bit louder.
"Ah. Well, come on, I'll show you where you're staying!" she replied, running up the stairs, Sirius following.
When they reached the top, Sirius panting, Andromeda stopped suddenly.
"What?" Sirius gasped, trying to regain his lungs.
"Watch out for Bella," she whispered. "She's been in an evil mood."
"Why?" Sirius asked, his curiosity piqued.
"Because her precious Rodolphus hasn't written her in two whole days," she replied, mocking.
"Eww. . . Rodolphus Lestrange? Sick."
"I know. Anyway, watch out for her."
As they walked by her room, Sirius heard some strains of music.
Everyone's life sucksWe all only die in the end (baybay)
All you can do is make a few bucks
And then you DIIIIEEEEE again. . .
Sirius shuddered. Not only was this dark, depressing music, but it was also just flat out BAD. He couldn't believe even Bellatrix could sink that low.
"This is my room," Andromeda announced, opening her door briefly for Sirius to get a glimpse of a poster of some wizarding band called It's All Hunky-Dory. They were from Australia or someplace, and every girl in Hogwarts was constantly swooning over them, making it rather hard for a bloke to get a date now and then.
"This is Narcissa's room," she continued. "She just turned twelve, so she thinks she's soooo groovy. She's allowed to wear make-up now, and she is completely obsessed with it."
Sirius snickered. "Decided to live up to her name, has she?"
"Apparently. And here is your room!" She flung the door open dramatically. Inside was a room painted white, with a canopy bed in the middle. It had forest green velvet hangings, and black bedsheets and covers. A subtle tribute to Slytherin and the Black family.
"Wow."
"But Regulus' room is better. Because everyone except me and Dad hates you."
"Yeah, I know. Once you get in with those Gryffs, you're pretty much an outcast for life," Sirius said philosophically, throwing his trunks on the floor.
"Yeah, pretty much," Andromeda agreed, thinking of herself as the wise voice of experience.
"Is his room the one across from mine?" asked Sirius.
"Yeah."
"Great."
Andromeda patted him sympathetically on the arm.
"I'll call the house elf to put away your clothes," she said.
"I'll do it myself, but thanks anyway." Sirius replied.
"Alright then. See you later."
"Yeah, sure."
Andromeda left, closing the door behind her. Sirius sighed and looked around his room.
"Well, might as well write a little letter to James," he said to himself. Sirius walked over to a desk and pulled out a piece of parchment and a quill. And ink, obviously.
Dear James,
I hate this place. This time, I am talking about a place other than Grimmauld Place, for once. I'm at my aunt Ananda's house. The only thing that makes this place remotely tolerable is Andromeda. Remember, she's my cousin that's in Gryffindor. Bellatrix is busy playing dark evil "Let's kill everyone, even ourselves" music, Narcissa is, well, living up to her name, and everyone here hates me except Andromeda and Uncle Alphard. I am beginning to suspect that they may have only invited me to try to get me to go over to the Dark Side. Evil people, I tell you.
On to more pleasant topics. Have any girls owled you asking for my address? If so, tell them to send their owls to this address. Make sure to tell them how hot I am.
Has Peter sent you the Map plans yet? I couldn't believe it when he came up with that brilliant idea. Make sure Remus has researched all those spells. Then. . . send it to me, heh heh heh. Imagine me laughing evilly.
In case this owl is intercepted, Bella, I love you, Auntie, I love you more, and Cissa. . . you're beautiful.
Oh, and ix-nay on the oming-cay er-ovay. And how is Plan Grim coming on? Or plan Nobility Complex, as you call it. Well, I think you actually call it Plan Helping a Friend At Certain Times of the Month. Whatever. How is Plan nimal-ay coming? Did you see that book I sent you, where it showed moving photographs of the people who'd failed it? Wasn't that hilarious. I think it made Peter a bit squeamish about the Plan though. Anyway, please write back, as I am going INSANE. It's like I'm in Azkaban, or something. All my relatives (excluding Andie and Uncle Alphard) are evil Dementors and Andie keeps getting sucked away. Anyway. Yeah, so write back. Soon. Like as soon as you get this. Like where I would get your reply in less than two hours.
Losing his sanity one relative at a time,
Sirius
Sirius sent off his letter with his new owl, Cupid, and sat desolately at his desk.
But not for long.
Bellatrix burst into his room. "Sirius!"
"What?" he jumped.
"You are supposed to be unpacking! Not sending off letters to your dirty Gryffindor friends!" she spat.
"I am unpacking! I just unpacked my quill, parchment and ink. And I just let my owl out for some exercise. Duh."
"Sure. If you don't hurry, I'm telling Mum!" Bellatrix flounced out of the room.
"Nee nee nee nee nee!" Sirius mocked quietly. After all, he had no desire to bring on the Wrath of Evil Bellatrix.
Yet, anyway.
Andromeda crept into his room. "Hey, I'll help you unpack." She pulled out a wand stealthily.
Sirius' eyes widened. "Wow. You're going to use your wand outside of the school year? Nice," he said approvingly. "I admire your bravery greatly."
Andromeda rolled her eyes. "Don't be a dolt," she said. "Mum has so many wards up on this place, no Ministry official, no matter how sophisticated their Magic-Detecting spells may be, there's no way they could catch a hint of underage magic going on here."
Sirius whistled. "I wonder if my mother has those up, too."
"Duh. It's taken you fifteen years to figure that out? Tsk. Here, look at this cool spell I learned. If you just flick your wand, like this, and concentrate real hard, you can make everything unpack itself and fold, too." Andromeda flicked expertly. Sure enough, it was as she said.
"That is so cool."
"I know. Come on, we have to go eat dinner." Andromeda took him by the arm and dragged him after her down the steps and into the dining room.
Sirius staggered a little bit once she let his arm go, but he managed to keep himself from falling on Narcissa, who was seated in the chair right in front of where he was standing. "Hello, Cissa," he said amiably. "Looking as pretty as ever, I see."
Narcissa preened. "Obviously. And don't call me Cissa, that is a childish name," she said with an aristocratic air.
"So sorry, madam," Sirius said, mockingly. Luckily, no one noticed except Bellatrix and Andromeda, who sneered and who hid a smile, respectively. "Hello Aunt Ananda. Uncle Alphard."
"Good evening, young Sirius. How have you been enjoying Hogwarts?" Uncle Alphard asked genially. Bellatrix and her mother sniffed.
"Great fun, actually. I've loads of friends, and girls-" Sirius winked. "I'm sure Andromeda can testify to the enormous amount of girls swooning over me and asking her to try to set them up with me." He leaned back, a satisfied smile on his face, oblivious to the disgust on Bella's face, the exasperation on Andie's, and the great amusement on Alphard's.
"There have been exactly two girls who have asked me such questions. And luckily, Lily Evans saved me, because she jumped in and informed them of what a foul creature you are," Andromeda replied.
Sirius scowled. "Lily Evans. . . hmph!"
Alphard grinned. "Dost young Sirius hath a liking for Miss Evans?"
"No! God, no. What a shrew."
"She is not a shrew! She happens to be one of my good friends!" Andie shot back at him.
"Whatever. Anyway, James likes her, so I wouldn't want to steal her away with my charm and good looks."
"Arrogant prat."
"James is not arrogant!" Sirius leapt to his best friend's defense. "How dare you speak so?"
"I was talking about you, actually," Andromeda shot back.
"I am not," Sirius replied, outraged that a word such as arrogant could be used in connection with him. "I am one of the most humble people you can find."
"Right."
"Bellatrix, darling, could you please pass the scones?" Ananda Black cut in loudly. "Thank you dear. Have you heard from Rodolphus lately?"
Bellatrix stared at her mother, chin wobbling. Then she burst into tears and ran from the room, yelling, "I hate you! I hate everyone! I hate everything!"
There was a brief silence. "I suppose that's a no," Ananda said calmly.
~
After dinner had been finished, Sirius went up to his room, followed by Narcissa, Andromeda and Regulus. "Arrrrrrgh! Can't you people leave me alone?" Sirius demanded. "I might have things to do, you know!"
"Like what?" Narcissa replied. "Andromeda unpacked for you, there's no way your scummy friends could have written back yet, and. . ." Failing to come up with a third thing that Sirius could not be doing, she said, "And you're supposed to pay attention to us, anyway!"
"What for?" Sirius said rudely.
"Because we are supposed to have a good influence on you. Duh, you idiot."
Sirius merely glared at her. Then James' owl, Beaky, flew in. Throwing Narcissa, Andromeda and Regulus triumphant looks, he gave the owl some treats. "Now leave," he said imperially.
Regulus and Narcissa sat on his bed, and Andromeda peered at the letter.
"I said, OUT!"
"Fine," Regulus grumbled.
"Hey Sirius," Narcissa said.
"What?" he growled exasperatedly.
"Can I make you over?"
"NO!" he yelled.
"Fine! Hey, Regulus, can I make you over?"
Regulus shrugged. "I don't care. It's all the same to me."
"Yes! Come on."
As Narcissa and Regulus trailed out of the room, Sirius looked expectantly at Andromeda.
"What?"
"LEAVE."
"Siriusss… I'm your Gryffindor buddy!"
"And yet I am unmoved. Out."
"Fine, but when Bellatrix comes at you with a wand at your throat, don't expect me to jump in and save you."
"Fine."
Andromeda stomped out of the room.
Sirius,
What have they done to you? You were so. . . polite in your last letter. I almost died of shock. And stop talking in that stupid Pig Latin. It's dumb. Plus, even a child could understand that you were saying that you wouldn't be able to sneak out and come over to my house. You idiot.
Anyway, Peter has sent the Plans for the Map. I am looking over the theory, and then I will send it to Remus. Who, by the way, is trying to talk us out of Plan Animal again. The idiot.
You'll never guess who sent me an owl yesterday.
Am having loads of fun at my house de-gnoming the garden. Wish you were here.
Happily killing off gnomes,
James
PS Your owl has mysteriously disappeared. I think he may have run into the neighbor's owl. Which is a fertile young female. Oh, shudder. Owl love. Gross.
JGP
PPS You highly overestimate your prowess with girls.
JGP
PPPS I almost forgot. Why don't you ask your aunt if you could come over here for my birthday next week? After all, I am of noble blood; surely she wouldn't object? And one's sixteenth birthday is rather important.
JGP
Sirius frowned. Was it his imagination, or did James not tell him who'd sent the owl? And speaking of owls. . .
Prat-boy,
You never said if any girls had sent owls asking my address, you foul creature. And who sent you an owl? And I hate de-gnoming.
And Pig Latin is the best.
Hurry with the Map. I want to see it. And I have a brilliant idea.
Tell Remus – Well, actually, I'll tell him. I'll write him now. And I'll ask Aunt Ananda about visiting you. Omitting, naturally, that other people of not-so-pure blood will be there.
Who sent you the owl?
Dying of fiendish curiosity,
Sirius
PS Has Marion Knightly written? She is a fine specimen of femininity.
SOB
PPS If Cupid has indeed lived up to his name, it may be awhile before I have him back. Therefore I am going to use Beaky. Hope you don't mind!
SOB
PPPS Just realized what my initials look like, and I'll thank you to remember that my name is Sirius Orion Black. Besides, literally, it's true. I am the son of a . . . Blast. This dumb quill is charmed with an Anti-Swearing Charm. I'll bet Andromeda had something to do with this.
SO – Sirius Orion Black
Sirius signed his name with a flourish. Darn James and his no doubt dirty mind.
Dear Remus,
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING, YOU IDIOT? As if we are going to give up on Plan Animal. Even if you didn't have your problem, I would still want to do it. Duh. Animals.
Anyway, how is your summer? Read anything boring and historical lately? Well, in case you haven't gotten the news, I am being incarcerated. No, really. I am being forced to stay at my aunt Ananda's house. Did I tell you I looked up her name the other day (well, two months ago) in Peter's Divination book where it had name meanings, and her name means 'that great joy without which the universe will collapse'? What a cruel joke.
Although I do not mind living here as much as I mind living at home, because Andromeda's here, and she's the closest thing I have to a sister/friend in my dumb family. Although I think I might get to see Arthur over the summer. Am not sure yet, because his mother and father have developed "insane ideas" as my mother put it. So they've probably taken up with Dumbledore and his lot. Also, I think my uncle likes me, which is not surprising, as I am a most likeable person. Have any fair young lasses owled you for my address? Give them this one.
Also, my owl, Stupid, I mean Cupid, has disappeared. James and I think he's into James' neighbor's female owl. Literally. So after you get this, send Beaky to James with the letter I wrote to him. Thanks.
Having great fun imagining your reaction to this owl,
Sirius
Sirius sent off both letters and sank into his bed. It was going to be a long summer.