DISCLAIMER: None of the characters belong to me. If they did, Eric would not have gotten sick, Carter would not have gone to Africa, and there would be Carby babies all over the ER by now.
CATEGORY: Carby Angst RATING: PG-13SPOILERS: None if you've seen all of Season 10 so far.
SUMMARY: Carter, Abby and the roller coaster of angst, drama and romance that is their relationship
Chapter Six
"How was your date?"
Abby quickly looks up from the chart she is reviewing behind the admit desk to see Sam smirking at her.
"How did you know I had a date?"
"Through the grapevine..."
"And by the grapevine she means me," Susan finishes for her.
"Thanks Susan." Abby rolls her eyes, but then realizes that both women are still waiting for a response to Sam's question. "Not that it's anyone's business, but it was fine."
"Fine?"
Abby sighs, knowing she is not going to get off that easy. "We went out to dinner, saw a movie, and then got coffee and talked for awhile. We're going out again on Friday."
"What's his name?" Sam asks.
"Ben," Susan replies.
"Oh wait, is this the doctor from psych you were telling me about?"
Susan nods her head.
"He's cute. I know a couple of nurses who asked him out but he turned them down. They're going to be so jealous. You're lucky Abby."
Abby opens her mouth, ready to explain that her personal life is not in any way appropriate for the hospital rumor mill, when Carter walks over and asks, "Somebody got lucky?"
Abby's face turns bright red, and she sees Susan cringe as Sam says, "I don't know, did you get lucky Abby?"
Carter looks back and forth between the three women, not sure what is going on. Susan clears her throat and says, "We were just discussing Abby's, um, date."
Abby shoots her a look.
"Really. Anybody I know?"
Abby tries to erase the death look she is giving Susan from her face as she answers Carter. "Ben James, from psych."
Carter nods his head, obviously uncomfortable and not sure how to respond to the situation. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out three envelopes and passes them out. "Well hopefully, he'll be able to come too."
"What's this?" Abby asks.
Susan opens her envelope and reads, "You are cordially invited to a dinner in celebration of the opening of the Bobby Carter Free Clinic."
Abby watches Carter carefully as Susan reads the words "Bobby Carter."
"It's my first act as president of the Foundation."
Susan smiles warmly. "Good for you!"
Carter looks away, slightly embarrassed. "Well, I better get back to work."
After he has left, Sam turns towards Abby. "You gotta let me in on your secret."
"What secret?"
"What you do to get two doctors interested in you at once!"
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"Is my tie straight?"
Eleanor Carter examines her son, adjusting his tie just a little. "It's perfect."
"I wish you didn't have to leave tomorrow."
"Me, too, but I'm glad I'll be here for the dinner tonight. You know how proud of you I am, right?"
"Thanks mom."
The truth is, Carter is proud of himself as well. His mother had talked him into going to a few board meetings, and Carter quickly realized that he had the ability to really make a difference. His first project was to open a free clinic in one of the poorer neighborhoods in Chicago. His mother had helped him with the entire project, which they had been working on now for several months. During this time they had grown quite close and developed a bond they had never shared before. When it came time to name the clinic, Carter had suggested naming it after his brother. He felt it not only would be a tribute to Bobby's memory, but also a symbolic gesture towards his mother. Now the name Bobby Carter represented the accomplishment he and his mother made working together rather than the tragedy that tore them apart. Tonight would be a celebration of that accomplishment.
***************************************************
"Your tie is crooked."
Abby walks over to Ben and straightens his tie. He leans down and gives her a quick kiss on the lips. "Thanks. Have you heard back from your mother?"
Abby shakes her head and walks away to get her purse. Yesterday Maggie had called to tell her that Eric was three days late getting back from a vacation. She was panicked, and wondered if Abby had heard from him. She hadn't, and of course Ben happened to be over when her mother called so she had to explain the whole situation. Well, not the entire situation. She told him that they couldn't get in touch with Eric, but she had left out the part about him being bi-polar. She wasn't sure why she was so hesitant to tell him, he was a psychiatrist after all. She just had a feeling that he would want to help, and at this point she just wanted someone to listen. She now wishes she hadn't told him anything at all because he keeps asking her about it.
"What's this dinner for again?" Ben asks as he helps Abby with her coat.
"My friend is opening a free clinic. I think he is trying to recruit some volunteers."
"John Carter, right? Of the Carter Foundation?"
Abby nods in response. Ben doesn't know he is also John Carter, formerly of John and Abby.
"Must be nice to have all that money. At least he's doing something good with it."
"Let's go," Abby says, walking out the door. She is finding herself resentful of the fact that Ben is talking about Carter as if he was just any other doctor in the ER and not one of her closest friends. She knows that this is not his fault; it is one of the many things she has not shared with him. They have been dating for about a month now, and she is realizing that they are reaching a point where she either needs to open up to him or end the relationship. He is a great guy, but she is leaning towards ending things. There are just so many things that he doesn't know about her, and so many things she doesn't feel like explaining. She often finds herself comparing him to Carter, despite her best efforts not to. Carter was able to read her every mood and action and always had the perfect response. Ben is very sweet and always tries, but he just doesn't seem to understand her in the way she needs to be understood.
************************************************
Carter greets the guests as they enter the banquet hall. He is pleased with how many people from the hospital have come. He is about to leave his post when he looks towards the door and sees Abby walking in.
She looks absolutely stunning. Her wavy hair is loose and rests just below her shoulders. She smiles when she sees him and it lights up her entire face, and he swears, the entire room. She is wearing a long, straight white skirt and a silk black top with a subtle pink print. The neckline is cut in a low v, and he blushes as he realizes where his eyes are focused as she approaches.
"Hey John."
"Wow. You look amazing…" He stops himself when Ben approaches and he realizes that Abby is not alone. He swallows and holds out his hand. "Hi Dr. James. I'm so glad you could make it."
"Please, call me Ben," he says as he accepts Carter's hand. Ben's eyes travel to Abby and he senses some tension between her and Carter. "Why don't I get us something to drink? Do you want some champagne?"
"No, club soda is fine with me."
They both watch Ben walk away. "I really am glad you came."
Abby smiles. "I'm proud of you Carter. You're really going to make a difference in a lot of people's lives." Her smile suddenly fades. "You're not leaving County are you?"
"No, no. I hired another doctor to run the clinic. Emergency medicine is what I know and what I like doing best." He pauses and looks at her pointedly. "I don't think I could ever leave County, there are too many things about it I love."
He suppresses his strong desire to step closer to her so that he can better smell her perfume, and instead says, "We are looking for volunteers though. I don't know if you'd be interested…"
"I'll do it," Abby responds immediately.
"Great. I think Dr. Bass went out on the patio. She's in charge of the coordinating the volunteers."
He places her hand on the small of her back and leads her outside. The material of her shirt is thin, and he can feel the heat from her skin on his hand. He notices that she does not protest to this physical contact despite the fact that her boyfriend is nearby. They walk onto the patio and see that there is no one outside.
"Well, maybe she's not out here. Should we go back in?" Carter begins to walk to the door.
"No, its nice out here."
Carter nods and they walk over to the ledge of the balcony. Carter tries his best not to stare, but the moonlight causes Abby's face to glow in the most beautiful way, and it is difficult to look away. There stand there for a while in a comfortable silence. It is Abby who breaks it.
"I'm not sure where Eric is."
Carter remains silent, knowing that she will continue when she is ready.
"He was supposed to come back from vacation three days ago. He probably just decided to take a couple more days off, but I can't help but think…"
Carter returns his hand to the small of her back. He rubs his hand in a gentle circular motion. "I'm sorry."
Abby nods, looking out over the skyline. "I haven't told Ben yet. About my family. It's not because I'm ashamed, it's just…"
"Just what?"
Abby shakes her head slowly, and then turns so that she is facing Carter. He is not certain, but he thinks that he sees tears in her eyes. "I miss being with someone who you don't have to explain everything to."
Their eyes lock and Carter reaches for her hand. However, they quickly jump apart as they hear the door to the patio open and see Ben approaching. "I was wondering where you disappeared to!"
Carter is thankful for the dim lighting, for he is sure that his face is a deep shade of crimson. Abby however, is calm as can be and walks over to Ben as if nothing happened. She is so calm in fact, that Carter wonders if perhaps he imagined the moment all together.
Abby reaches for her club soda and takes a sip. "Well, we'll let you get back to your guests. I'll make sure I find Dr. Bass before I leave."
Carter nods and walks towards the door. He takes one look back at Abby. What he sees lets him know he is not going crazy. What he sees mirrors the look on his face.
What he sees is a mix of longing and regret.
***************************************************
The front door of the Bobby Carter Free Clinic flies open and Abby briskly walks inside, trying to escape the torrential downpour that has left her soaked to the bone. She is meeting with Dr. Bass for a brief orientation before she begins volunteering the following week.
She broke up with Ben a couple days ago. It was very amicable; they both admitted that they lacked a certain connection. However, their break-up left her with an open social calendar, and that, coupled with the fact that she still hadn't heard from Eric, left her with a strong desire to keep busy. This is why she signed up to volunteer several nights a week.
She removes her coat and closes her umbrella, which was unsuccessful in shielding her from the rain. The only sound she hears is the rhythmic beating of the rain against the roof, and she begins to wonder if there is anyone there.
"Hello?"
She hears footsteps approach, and is surprised by the person who greets her.
"Hey Carter."
"Hi. What are you doing here?"
"I was supposed to meet Dr. Bass. She was going to give me a layout of the land before I start next week."
Carter smiles in appreciation. "Thanks again for volunteering, we can use all the help we can get. Unfortunately, Dr. Bass went home sick an hour ago. I was just about to lock up. But I can show you around." He locks the door, notices the rain, and then looks at the state of Abby's clothes. "We have some extra scrubs if you want to change."
Abby looks down at herself and suddenly becomes self-conscious about how she must look. Her pants are completely soaked and are clinging to her legs. Thank god her coat protected her white shirt from the same fate. "Yeah, maybe some pants. It's horrible out there."
"I can't believe you braved this weather just to come out here," Carter says as he tosses her some scrub pants. "The bathroom is down the hall, first door on your right."
Abby nods and walks to the bathroom. She quickly changes her pants and pulls her wet hair into a loose ponytail at the base of her neck. She sighs as she looks in the mirror at her appearance, and then begins to wonder why she cares so much. This is Carter; he doesn't care what she looks like. But for some reason, familiar butterflies entered her stomach the instant she saw him and she realizes that she is in trouble.
~
"Do you want some coffee? It's still pretty nasty out there."
"Sure," Abby replies, looking out the window. Carter has just finished explaining the procedures of the clinic. She sits down on the newly purchased couch in the waiting area. "I don't think I've ever seen it rain this hard."
Carter sits down next to her, handing her a steaming coffee. Abby wraps her hands around the mug, her hands still desperate for warmth after being exposed to the cold rain. She involuntarily shudders, and Cater reaches over and rubs her back.
"Cold?"
"I'm okay," she replies, wishing that he was not sitting so close. Carter realizes the reason for her unease and removes his hand from her back. As if attempting to prove he knows his boundaries he asks,
"How's Ben?"
Abby grows even more uncomfortable. "He's good, I guess." She sighs. "We broke up."
Abby looks at Carter. She sees a look cross his face that she does not know how to read, but she does know that it makes the feeling in her stomach multiply in intensity by a hundred. She no longer feels uncomfortable sitting so close to him, but instead feels an intense desire to remain in this very spot.
"What happened?"
"I don't know. He's a wonderful person and we got along great, but… It's like I was saying the other night…there's just so much about me that he doesn't know, that I don't want to explain." She puts down her coffee and nervously plays with her hands. "I want to be with some one who just gets it. Who gets me."
She examines Carter's face. She sees that he does understand; he does get it. And she realizes how much she misses that. She picks up his hand, and the warmth emitted from his fingers instantly runs throughout her body and she feels her heart beat rapidly increase. Without realizing what she is doing, her free hand reaches up to his face and rests on his cheek. Carter mimics her position; gently caressing her cheek with his thumb. They sit like this for a moment, neither one sure if they should proceed, both certain that they do not want the moment to end. Abby can hear her heart beating and can feel Carter's pulsating in his neck. She slowly pulls his head towards her own and their lips meet, creating a feeling that is both familiar and new.
They remain in this position for a while, eyes and lips closed, rediscovering the feel of each other. Abby begins to panic and pull away, but Carter has wrapped his arms around her, and instead pulls her closer to him. As their lips open and as the kiss intensifies, all rational thought is thrown out the window. The only thing Abby can think is how incredible it is to feel his hair between her fingers, to feel his hands running up and down her back, and to feel his lips and tongue mesh with her own.
Abby's hands soon find their way from his hair to his chest, slipping his shirt off in the process. This causes a small moan to escape from his lips that only fuels her desire even more. She moves her lips to his neck, pausing only for a moment as he lifts her shirt over her head. This time it is Abby who lets out a moan as Carter releases the clasp on her bra and moves his hands across her bare skin. She feels his hands move down to the waistband of her scrub pants, and he pulls back with a questioning look. She answers him by lifting herself up so that she can rid herself of her scrubs. Carter's pants quickly follow.
Carter lies back on the couch with Abby straddling him. He reaches up and cups her face between his hands, and the look on his face makes almost makes Abby burst into tears. In that moment, she realizes how much she loves this man. The moment of emotional intensity is quickly replaces by a much more physical one, and as they move together, their breath and moans echoing each other as they increase in pace, Abby cannot remember a time when she felt happier.
It is only after their breathing has slowed, and Abby is sure that Carter is asleep, that she allows the panic that has been threatening to come bubbling to the surface appear.
*******************************************
Carter awakens to a sharp pain in his back. He opens his eyes and blinks a few times, confused. As he moves from a semi-conscious state to a fully conscious one, he realizes he is lying on the couch in the clinic. Naked. He sees the two mugs of coffee sitting on the table, long since grown cold, and the events that took place a few hours earlier come back to him.
"Abby?"
He stands up, putting on his pants in the process, and walks towards the bathroom.
"Abby?"
There is no reply, and he walks back to the waiting area to find his shirt. It is then that he sees a piece of paper with her handwriting on it, sitting next to the cold cup of coffee.
John,
I had to go, I have a nightshift.
AbbyHe plops down on the couch and lets out a frustrated sigh. While he does not doubt her note to be true, he can tell from the brevity of her words that she is already beginning to regret their actions. He partially agrees with her; they probably shouldn't have acted so rash, without thinking of the emotional consequences. But then he remembers the feel of her skin against his, the expression on her face just as they were about to join themselves together, and the feeling of complete peace he felt while they laid together afterwards.
And he wishes that, just for once, things could be easy for them, and that they could stop being careful and afraid, and simply be with one another.
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