Chapter 4
Angel laid Illyria in Fred's old room.
"Something that seems familiar should help her?"
"Familiar. Angel are you daft? There isn't a damn thing in this room but a bed and a night stand."
"Not now, no. But this used to be Fred's room. Scrape off any spot of paint and you will find Fred."
Spike took him up on it. Sure enough there was something written on the wall just under the topcoat of paint.
"What is this? It looks like gibberish."
"Fred's life story, romanticized."
"Huh?"
"Fred went nuts in Pylea. She thought her normal life was a fairy tale that she had dreamed up."
"That's fairly disturbing."
"You should have seen it before we painted over it. Every inch of wall was covered." They exited the room into the hall.
A sound in the lobby got their attention. Spike stomped his foot threw a chair that was sitting in the hall. Breaking it into hundreds of pieces. He bent and picked up two of the now broken legs, and passed one of the makeshift stakes to Angel. Both men crept towards the end of the hall towards the lobby.
"Angel? Are you here?"
"Anne?" Angel whispered to Spike.
"Sounds like her."
The lowered there stakes and tried to not look startled as the came out onto the landing and down the stairs. "Anne?"
"Angel!" She ran to him and threw her arms around him in a tight embrace. Tears began to pour down her face for the millionth time today. Angel led her to take a seat on the stairs. "I am sorry to bother you, but I wanted to see him before tonight. Say goodbye I guess."
"It is okay. He is upstairs. I'll take you up." He took her hand as they rose from their seats and lead her to the room that held Gunn's body. "Do you want me to stay?"
"Not really. I need some time to myself."
"I will be right down stairs if you need me."
There was no response as Angel pulled the door closed behind him. As Angel entered the lobby, he took notice that Spike has taken a seat on the counter and was taking a drag from a fresh cigarette.
"I see you found your lighter."
"Time is up, Grandpa, time to fill me in on Connor."
"Fine Spike, but you get the real short story. Wolfram & Hart brought Darla back from the dead, human no less. She was still sick with syphilis. Dru vamped her again. The two went on a killing spree, taking out most of the Wolfram & Hart special operations department, after I locked them all in a room together. I fired my team; started hunting Darla. Finally find Darla at Lindsey's apartment. We had sex. I didn't lose my soul. She left town. Then showed back up 9 months later pregnant and sharing a soul with the baby. She staked herself in the ally behind Caratas, with Holtz standing there watching. Wes found a prophecy that he didn't tell any of us about that said the father would kill the son. He kidnapped Connor, got his throat cut by Justine, who was working with Holtz. Justine took Connor to Holtz, Sahjhan opened a portal to Qurtoth, Holtz jumped in with Connor. A few months later, Connor drops out of a portal here in the lobby. Right there in the center of the Pentagram actually. A teenager. After a few hard months, including a couple at the bottom of the ocean and Cordy as a higher being, I made a deal with the devil to give Connor a real life. They changed everyone's memories except mine so that he never existed in our lives. In exchange, we took over Wolfram & Hart. A few weeks ago, Connor and his family show up here. Then Vail came to me, he needed Sahjhan dead and Connor was the only person that could do it. Prophecy and all. Wes got suspicious and figured out way too much. He and Illyria showed up at Vail's while Connor was there killing the demon. He broke the Orlan window, the magic that had controlled the memories. Anyway when it broke, it brought back the memories of those in the room."
"Sodding hell that is a lot to process. How did Darla get pregnant in the first place. A higher evil that goes by the name The Devourer, Jasmine. Yet another long story."
A sound on the landing drew their attention. Illyria had woken and was standing on the landing looking over the rail.
"You okay pet?"
She did not respond and neither wanted to push her.
'How do you stop the pain?' It was all she could think. Death would stop it. 'I don't want death.' Over and over the same thought cycled through her mind. She was aware of those around her, but found no reason to speak. It all seemed without reason to her. Life, death, love, hate, good, evil, all pointless. All she could feel with grief. 'This is the feeling that Wesley felt for Fred. He felt ill when he looked at me. This is what I guarded her parents from.' "This is a cruelty worse than death itself."
"What pet?"
She didn't even notice that she had spoken the words aloud.
"This grief. It is worse than death itself."
"No arguing with you there luv. Thought so myself a time or two." Spike found it comforting that she was talking.
"Why is it so?"
"Got no answer for that. Love I guess. It hurts to lose it, no matter how little you started with."
'Figures he would come up with a good answer,' Angel thought to himself. 'He always was the one with the feeling, even when he wasn't suppose to.'
"It hurts! I wish it to stop. I command it to stop!"
"It will in time." Angel assured her.
"It was not this way when I was God. Death just was."
"It is humanity. You get all the goodness of love and joy, but you have to take the bad with it."
"I wish it to be gone."
"Take our advice, no you don't!" Spike said.
Angel laid Illyria in Fred's old room.
"Something that seems familiar should help her?"
"Familiar. Angel are you daft? There isn't a damn thing in this room but a bed and a night stand."
"Not now, no. But this used to be Fred's room. Scrape off any spot of paint and you will find Fred."
Spike took him up on it. Sure enough there was something written on the wall just under the topcoat of paint.
"What is this? It looks like gibberish."
"Fred's life story, romanticized."
"Huh?"
"Fred went nuts in Pylea. She thought her normal life was a fairy tale that she had dreamed up."
"That's fairly disturbing."
"You should have seen it before we painted over it. Every inch of wall was covered." They exited the room into the hall.
A sound in the lobby got their attention. Spike stomped his foot threw a chair that was sitting in the hall. Breaking it into hundreds of pieces. He bent and picked up two of the now broken legs, and passed one of the makeshift stakes to Angel. Both men crept towards the end of the hall towards the lobby.
"Angel? Are you here?"
"Anne?" Angel whispered to Spike.
"Sounds like her."
The lowered there stakes and tried to not look startled as the came out onto the landing and down the stairs. "Anne?"
"Angel!" She ran to him and threw her arms around him in a tight embrace. Tears began to pour down her face for the millionth time today. Angel led her to take a seat on the stairs. "I am sorry to bother you, but I wanted to see him before tonight. Say goodbye I guess."
"It is okay. He is upstairs. I'll take you up." He took her hand as they rose from their seats and lead her to the room that held Gunn's body. "Do you want me to stay?"
"Not really. I need some time to myself."
"I will be right down stairs if you need me."
There was no response as Angel pulled the door closed behind him. As Angel entered the lobby, he took notice that Spike has taken a seat on the counter and was taking a drag from a fresh cigarette.
"I see you found your lighter."
"Time is up, Grandpa, time to fill me in on Connor."
"Fine Spike, but you get the real short story. Wolfram & Hart brought Darla back from the dead, human no less. She was still sick with syphilis. Dru vamped her again. The two went on a killing spree, taking out most of the Wolfram & Hart special operations department, after I locked them all in a room together. I fired my team; started hunting Darla. Finally find Darla at Lindsey's apartment. We had sex. I didn't lose my soul. She left town. Then showed back up 9 months later pregnant and sharing a soul with the baby. She staked herself in the ally behind Caratas, with Holtz standing there watching. Wes found a prophecy that he didn't tell any of us about that said the father would kill the son. He kidnapped Connor, got his throat cut by Justine, who was working with Holtz. Justine took Connor to Holtz, Sahjhan opened a portal to Qurtoth, Holtz jumped in with Connor. A few months later, Connor drops out of a portal here in the lobby. Right there in the center of the Pentagram actually. A teenager. After a few hard months, including a couple at the bottom of the ocean and Cordy as a higher being, I made a deal with the devil to give Connor a real life. They changed everyone's memories except mine so that he never existed in our lives. In exchange, we took over Wolfram & Hart. A few weeks ago, Connor and his family show up here. Then Vail came to me, he needed Sahjhan dead and Connor was the only person that could do it. Prophecy and all. Wes got suspicious and figured out way too much. He and Illyria showed up at Vail's while Connor was there killing the demon. He broke the Orlan window, the magic that had controlled the memories. Anyway when it broke, it brought back the memories of those in the room."
"Sodding hell that is a lot to process. How did Darla get pregnant in the first place. A higher evil that goes by the name The Devourer, Jasmine. Yet another long story."
A sound on the landing drew their attention. Illyria had woken and was standing on the landing looking over the rail.
"You okay pet?"
She did not respond and neither wanted to push her.
'How do you stop the pain?' It was all she could think. Death would stop it. 'I don't want death.' Over and over the same thought cycled through her mind. She was aware of those around her, but found no reason to speak. It all seemed without reason to her. Life, death, love, hate, good, evil, all pointless. All she could feel with grief. 'This is the feeling that Wesley felt for Fred. He felt ill when he looked at me. This is what I guarded her parents from.' "This is a cruelty worse than death itself."
"What pet?"
She didn't even notice that she had spoken the words aloud.
"This grief. It is worse than death itself."
"No arguing with you there luv. Thought so myself a time or two." Spike found it comforting that she was talking.
"Why is it so?"
"Got no answer for that. Love I guess. It hurts to lose it, no matter how little you started with."
'Figures he would come up with a good answer,' Angel thought to himself. 'He always was the one with the feeling, even when he wasn't suppose to.'
"It hurts! I wish it to stop. I command it to stop!"
"It will in time." Angel assured her.
"It was not this way when I was God. Death just was."
"It is humanity. You get all the goodness of love and joy, but you have to take the bad with it."
"I wish it to be gone."
"Take our advice, no you don't!" Spike said.