Summary: A one-shot during Enishi's jinchuu. I've changed the plot a bit. Hope you don't mind!

Disclaimer: The usual I don't own RK characters and stuff.

Understanding the mind of a Tora


Enishi leaned against the wall as he continued to stare at her. Her delicate form was seated in the chair of the balcony, eyes transfixed on the sea. She doesn't understand that he will never come, he thought. I don't think she cares at all, she'll keep on waiting till he does. He clenched his fists in anger, his nails dug into his palms. How could a blood stained man like the Battousai deserve such loyalty from a woman like Kaoru? She was so...innocent. It just made his blood boil. Suddenly, she muttered.

"Kenshin..."

Enishi couldn't stand it anymore. He just had to ask her. How could she miss Battousai? Didn't she know about his past?

"Why do you long for the battousai?"

Kaoru had been thinking about her home back in Kyoto, unanswered questions swirling in her mind. How's everyone doing, especially Kenshin? Why hasn't he come for me? She shook her head violently, trying to remove the negative thoughts from her head. He will come, I must believe in him.

She was too engrossed in her thoughts that she did not hear Enishi's question. The shifting of cloth was immediately replaced by the hot breath blown against her neck. She shivered involuntarily as he repeated his question again, but this time in a soft whisper.

"Why do you long for him?"

"Enishi..."

He lowered his head and stepped back. He lifted it again, this time to move Kaoru's chair to face him, so he could look into her blue depths.

"How many people had been killed by his sword? How many hundreds of families have been left without a father? He even killed Tomoe, the one he was supposed to love. How could you long for such a man?"

Kaoru took a deep breath. She knew Enishi was still hurting, and angry. His white hair bore evidence of that. She knew he hated Kenshin for killing the most important person in his life, but most of all, she knew he blamed herself for not being able to save her. She had been there for him, yet he could not do the same for her.

"He's a changed man, Enishi. He has sworn not to kill. You should try to look at him the way he is now-"

"DON'T GIVE ME ALL THAT BULLSHIT!"

He couldn't think straight anymore. Anger was consuming him, the urge to hit something was increasing. The whole scene played before his eyes once again, as it had done for the past years.

`Beginning of Flashback`

Tomoe put herself in front of the man who kidnapped her, hoping that Battousai would stop in time. But it was too late. Kenshin had gained so much speed that it was impossible for him to even avoid them. Kenshin was trying hard to change the direction of his attack, but being all too familiar with his own move, he knew it would not succeed.

Enishi stared wordlessly as the blade penetrated her frail body and impale itself into the chest of the man behind her. He was too shocked to do anything but watch his beloved sister collapse to the ground. The scent of white plums immediately turned into the scent of blood. The blood had seeped through her clothes and onto the snow, making it turn red instantly. She tried to get up, but the sharp pain in her upper body made her shriek in agony, causing her to lie back down.

Blood on snow...

Kenshin made sure the man was dead before rushing to Tomoe's aid. He almost cried out when he saw her. The blood spread across the snow quickly as she more and more blood every passing second.

Crimson in white...

He knelt beside her and cradled her limp body in his arms. Tears unknowingly slipped down his cheeks as he cried soundlessly. Nothing pained him more than to see his wife dying, by his own forsaken hands.

"Kenshin..."

"Don't speak, Tomoe. You'll only lose more blood than you've already have."

Silence filled the air. As snow started to fall, he continued.

"I will never forgive myself for doing this to you! Everyone around me gets killed, but the one I loved most died by my sword!"

She picked up the small knife that she had been carrying in self defense for the previous years, and glided it across his left cheek, completing the crossed scar that her deceased fiancé, Akira, had once placed the initial cut minutes before he died. She cupped his cheek, giving him her last smile before closing her eyes, never to wake up again.

Kenshin couldn't help but let the tears roll down his face. Strings of regret, anger and grieve had tightened its hold on his heart, and it wasn't going to loosen for a very long time. He would carry this heavy burden till the day he died, no matter what. Turning his head around, he caught sight of Tomoe's little brother.

Enishi found Kenshin staring at him, peering into his own black beady eyes while he focused on his amber ones. Wait. Did he see regret and sympathy in his eyes? Did he pity him? He didn't want any. As much as he wanted to see his sister's face again, he couldn't. I swear to you nei san, that when I become stronger, I'll hunt him down and make him suffer a million times more than you did for him. I promise, he thought. After giving Kenshin a cold glare, he turned back and ran.

`End of Flashback`

"He made my life...a living hell. He killed her, and I had no one to depend on after that. I wandered through cities, slept on the streets and scraped through the garbage of homes just to find a measly amount of rotten cabbage. To even find any food, I counted lucky. I've been beaten up by groups of beggars whenever I entered their territory to beg. Tell me, hasn't he ruined my life enough for me to hate him?"

Kaoru was speechless. She didn't know Enishi had suffered so much when he was just to survive. She finally realised that she could not do anything to stop him from hating Kenshin. He had a perfectly good reason to do so and she would have done the same thing if she was him. Well, anyone would. Unable to do anything else to comfort him, Kaoru hugged him.

Enishi suddenly felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist. He was shocked at Kaoru's unexpected gesture. Did she really feel his pain? Enishi put his own arms around her as she tightened her hold on him. They stayed like that for hours, savouring the silent moment that would be the only physical contact between him and his so called "hostage". When evening came, Enishi regretfully pulled away.

"Pack your things. Don't be surprised if Battousai dies tomorrow. I won't go easy on him, even for you."

With that, he walked out of the room, leaving Kaoru to her thoughts yet again. She wanted Kenshin to win, yet she didn't want Enishi to lose either. It would all be decided tomorrow, and she would wait patiently for the next day to arrive.

Owari


Author's notes: This is the re-post of my first EK fanfic which I wrote 5 years ago, I think! But anyway, I've cleared out all the mistakes (I hope) that I've been itching to do for years, hope that you EK fans'll enjoy it better, and thanks for reading!