Forever is a long time
By: Lily DeSilva
Summery: What if no one found Wesley after Justine slit his throat? What if he died in that park? What would Fred's reaction be? Fred's POV
Disclaimer: I don't own, I just write.
Rating: G
Spoilers for and after 'Sleep Tight'.
The hardest thing would probably have to be the other's reactions. Angel barley blinked when the police officer had told them that there was a man found dead in the park across from Wes's apartment, and that he matched the description of Wesley. Charles didn't cry, or even say anything when we went to the morgue to see if it was his best friend. Cordelia never said anything when we came back with the sad news. Wesley was dead. Me, on the other hand, I cried. I cried like there was no tomorrow.
Wesley was the closest thing I had to a bother. He was always there for me, and, to tell you the truth, I think I loved him more than I love Charles. Sure, Charles is a great guy, but I think I love, or loved, Wesley more. You can imagine the pain I felt after realizing I would never get that chance. He was gone. Forever. And forever is a long time.
The cemetery is always quiet at this time of day. I prefer to be the only one here. I was the only one who cared enough to give him a funeral at all. I always come here when I am lonely. When it's too much for me to take. Charles hates it when I come here. He says I care more about a traitor than him. He's really possessive that way. I hate it.
I hate myself for not looking harder in that park. If I had, he would still be alive. If I had, Charles wouldn't be mad. If I had, I wouldn't be here.
Leaving is the hardest thing. Saying goodbye. The strangest thing is, I always feel something when I leave. Something that gives me the power to go on, until my next visit. I can't explain it. I know it sounds crazy, but it almost feels as if Wesley is here, making sure I am happy. Giving me the power to go on with my life. But my life is over. Part of my heart died that day when we found out he was dead.
Back at the office, Charles confronts me, as usual. "Where have you been, Fred?" he demands.
"Calm down, Charles! I just went for a walk." I try to shake him off and go up to my room, but he follows me.
"C'mon, Fred!" he wines. "Where were you?"
I hate lying, so I tell the truth. Charles nearly explodes with rage. "You went where?"
Suddenly, I can't take it anymore. "Why are you always like that?" I scream. "Why can't you be more loving and caring? More like Wes-"
I stop myself in mid sentence. Charles is shaking with anger. "If you care about him that much, I'm leaving! I could care less about you!"
"Fine!" I scream back. He makes me so mad, I don't even care. I run up to my room, and start to pack. 'Texas is a better place,' I tell myself. 'No demons, no fights, no Charles, no Wesley.'
I choke back a tear, as I open that special drawer in my little desk. This is where I keep everything special to me. As I look over the things, I realize most of them are from Wesley. The ballerina necklace he gave me as a gift, the smiley face sticker he gave me when I was depressed, even a piece of the wrapper from the chocolate bar we once shared. I sort through the things, and come across something that I don't recognize. It's an envelope, with my name on it in Wesley's neat handwriting.
I open it with shaky fingers. Inside, the letter is written in black ink. In places, the ink is smudged, as if the person that wrote it was crying. I scan the letter, and then read it twice more. I can't believe what it says.
My Winifred,
I can't imagine how painful it is for you to read this. I took the baby. I know if Angel ever finds out, he will kill me, and I know that he already knows. I need you to know that I did this for a purpose. You probably already figured it out, but if not it was because of the prophecy. The Nyazian scrolls say that Angel will kill Connor. I just want everyone to be safe.
I want you to know one more thing. Winifred, you are the smartest, funniest, most beautiful person I have ever known. I just wanted to say I love you. I have loved you for so long, and I was so sure you didn't return the feelings. Now we will never know. I miss you already. I will love you forever. And forever is a long time…
Your Wesley.
I start to cry. I can't help it. Wesley was the best person I ever met. Only now, after he died, do I find out that the man I loved loved me back.
I look skywards, and hold the letter tightly in my hand. "I love you Wesley! I always will!" I call out. Then, I pick up my suitcase and walk out the door. I don't plan on coming back. It's raining now, and my hair gets soaked. I don't mind. The rain hides my tears. Once again, I call out. "I'll love you forever! And forever is a long time!"
Wesley looked down on rainy Los Angeles. He watched Fred leave the Hotel, and call up to the heavens; "I'll love you forever! And forever is a long time!"
He shook his head slightly and smiled. "Yes, Fred. Forever is a long time…"
THE END!