(Disclaimer: No, I don't own the characters. But that doesn't stop me from abusing them!)
"Okay. Everybody get your school stuff and meet back her in two hours," Mrs. Weasley said, grinning madly. Her teeth had turned green from the floo powder feast. She reached into her pocket, and pulled out a grubby leather pouch. "Now, you each get two galleons and five sickles, so you best buy your things at a good price." Mrs. Weasley turned the bag over, but nothing came out. "Where the hell's the money, I-," she smiled slowly. "Oh, yeah. I used your school money to buy my drugs. Well, you're shit out of luck."
"Uh, mum, we can just go to Gringotts, y'know," Bill said, making kissy-faces in his compact.
"Nah, I had to empty the account to bail your ho-bag mother outta jail last month," Mr. Weasley grunted.
Ron, who had his finger lodged firmly up his nose began to cough. And cough. And cough. Ginny walked over, and poked him in the back with her knife. He shrieked, and a bag of sickles fell out of his mouth. Everybody stared at him, confused. "Yum," Ron said, picking the bag up. He opened it, ready to pour the sickles down his throat when Mr. Weasley yelled, "Accio bag!"
He caught it and gave Ron a horrid look. Ron smiled stupidly, and scratched his bum. "Retard!" Mr. Weasley yelled at him, while smacking him around the head with the poker.
Leaving Ron bleeding and twitching in the street, he gave each child a single sickle. When they stared at him, duboiusly, he explained, "Steal the rest or yer school stuff. I'm takin' this bag, and gettin' drunk off my ass. C'mon, Molly." And with that, the Weasley parental-units left.
"I'm going to Madame Maxine's Magic Makeup Shop," Bill said. "I can't go to school unless I have may Super Glossy Lipgloss That Is Glossy And You Put On Your Lips, or my Blue Eyeshadow that is Eyeshadow That Is Bluer Than A Blue Thing," he paused. "Oooh, and I need a manicure," he said, pulling bottles of nailpolish out of his purse. "Should I paint them Passion Pink, Passionate Pink, Passion Pinkish, or Passionately Pink?"
Charlie looked Bill up and down. "Whatevah," he said. "I need condoms. And a hot chick. Think if I go down Hooker Alley I can get one for a sickle?"
Bill scrunched up his nose. "I think you should get a manicure with me. I know you think they're gay, but they're not. They're...METRO! Girls like metro guys. And gay guys, 'cause they know they won't hit on them. Let's put our sickles together, and go full on gay...I mean...metro."
Charlie considered this. "Well, my last fifteen girlfriends were always talking about how cute Elton John is. He's metro, right?"
"Suuuuure," Bill said. "Metro." He grabbed Charlie's hand, and dragged him towards "Madame Bob's Manicures."
Ron, still bleeding, and occaisionally screaming out "TOMATO!" sat up, and pulled a galleon out of his nose. Ginny held a knife to his throat, and snatched it away.
"That machine gun at the muggle shop is MINE," she said, before walking off, grinning like a loony. Ron trotted after her, like a faithful dog.
Fred, still rubbing his arm, glared at George. George glared back. "What the hell are you looking at?" they both asked in unison.
"I ASKED FIRST," each said, again, in unison.
"God, you're retarded," Fred said.
"Well, you're ugly!"
"Your nose is too big!"
"Your nose isn't big enough!"
"WE'RE IDENTICAL!"
"NO WE'RE NOT! YOU'RE THE UGLY ONE!"
"YOUR MUM'S A WHORE!"
"WE HAVE THE SAME MUM!"
The twins began fighting, but were pulled apart by a boy with black hair.
"Who are you?" Fred spat, angrily.
"Yeah, who do you think you are?" George asked.
The boy smiled sadistically. "I am...HARRY POTTER! THE BOY WHO LIVED!!!!!"
"Okay. Everybody get your school stuff and meet back her in two hours," Mrs. Weasley said, grinning madly. Her teeth had turned green from the floo powder feast. She reached into her pocket, and pulled out a grubby leather pouch. "Now, you each get two galleons and five sickles, so you best buy your things at a good price." Mrs. Weasley turned the bag over, but nothing came out. "Where the hell's the money, I-," she smiled slowly. "Oh, yeah. I used your school money to buy my drugs. Well, you're shit out of luck."
"Uh, mum, we can just go to Gringotts, y'know," Bill said, making kissy-faces in his compact.
"Nah, I had to empty the account to bail your ho-bag mother outta jail last month," Mr. Weasley grunted.
Ron, who had his finger lodged firmly up his nose began to cough. And cough. And cough. Ginny walked over, and poked him in the back with her knife. He shrieked, and a bag of sickles fell out of his mouth. Everybody stared at him, confused. "Yum," Ron said, picking the bag up. He opened it, ready to pour the sickles down his throat when Mr. Weasley yelled, "Accio bag!"
He caught it and gave Ron a horrid look. Ron smiled stupidly, and scratched his bum. "Retard!" Mr. Weasley yelled at him, while smacking him around the head with the poker.
Leaving Ron bleeding and twitching in the street, he gave each child a single sickle. When they stared at him, duboiusly, he explained, "Steal the rest or yer school stuff. I'm takin' this bag, and gettin' drunk off my ass. C'mon, Molly." And with that, the Weasley parental-units left.
"I'm going to Madame Maxine's Magic Makeup Shop," Bill said. "I can't go to school unless I have may Super Glossy Lipgloss That Is Glossy And You Put On Your Lips, or my Blue Eyeshadow that is Eyeshadow That Is Bluer Than A Blue Thing," he paused. "Oooh, and I need a manicure," he said, pulling bottles of nailpolish out of his purse. "Should I paint them Passion Pink, Passionate Pink, Passion Pinkish, or Passionately Pink?"
Charlie looked Bill up and down. "Whatevah," he said. "I need condoms. And a hot chick. Think if I go down Hooker Alley I can get one for a sickle?"
Bill scrunched up his nose. "I think you should get a manicure with me. I know you think they're gay, but they're not. They're...METRO! Girls like metro guys. And gay guys, 'cause they know they won't hit on them. Let's put our sickles together, and go full on gay...I mean...metro."
Charlie considered this. "Well, my last fifteen girlfriends were always talking about how cute Elton John is. He's metro, right?"
"Suuuuure," Bill said. "Metro." He grabbed Charlie's hand, and dragged him towards "Madame Bob's Manicures."
Ron, still bleeding, and occaisionally screaming out "TOMATO!" sat up, and pulled a galleon out of his nose. Ginny held a knife to his throat, and snatched it away.
"That machine gun at the muggle shop is MINE," she said, before walking off, grinning like a loony. Ron trotted after her, like a faithful dog.
Fred, still rubbing his arm, glared at George. George glared back. "What the hell are you looking at?" they both asked in unison.
"I ASKED FIRST," each said, again, in unison.
"God, you're retarded," Fred said.
"Well, you're ugly!"
"Your nose is too big!"
"Your nose isn't big enough!"
"WE'RE IDENTICAL!"
"NO WE'RE NOT! YOU'RE THE UGLY ONE!"
"YOUR MUM'S A WHORE!"
"WE HAVE THE SAME MUM!"
The twins began fighting, but were pulled apart by a boy with black hair.
"Who are you?" Fred spat, angrily.
"Yeah, who do you think you are?" George asked.
The boy smiled sadistically. "I am...HARRY POTTER! THE BOY WHO LIVED!!!!!"