Ok!! So anywayzz.. This is my first fic!! Hope you guys like it!!
It's called Feelings Undercover.. you'll see why later.. for now it's a prologue so just read and find out!! I'll explain next time ayt?
Feel free to flame! I need the helpful criticism. =) so here goes..
Disclaimer: Cardcaptor Sakura is not mine.. and Alias is not mine.. CLAMP rocks by the way.. have you read the Rayearth manga?? =D *wink*
Feelings Undercover
Prologue
=== by hcore junkie aka nikki ===
=== It was a dark stormy night. ===
A girl was silently weeping in her room. Just a few hours ago, her mother had died of an unknown and incurable disease. That had broken her heart. She had been very close to her mother.
As she wept, she recalled all the times they had had together. She remembered how her mother comforted her when she fell from her bike when she was 5, she remembered all the times they had fun doing things together, she remembered how sad she felt whenever her mom would leave for a month doing what she called "business." But of everything that happened between them, she could never forget the times they fought. Especially the fight they had about her boyfriend Ken Narutomo.
Her mom never approved of Ken. They would fight all the time because of him. This made her feel more sad. Just before her mom was admitted into the hospital, they had one of the worst fights ever. She couldn't help but blame herself. If they hadn't fought, her mom wouldn't be in critical condition.
And another thing that made her regret fighting her mom was that she hadn't gotten the chance to tell her the good news, that she was engaged. She was too scared to say it, knowing that her mom would never give her blessing.
A knock was heard and a tall man opened the door. "Sakura," the man said. "I know your sad that mom had to die this now, but please, Sakura, don't make it worse for me and dad, please stop making us worry and at least come out of your room and eat dinner with us! You can't keep blaming yourself and starve yourself to death! It wasn't your fault! Mom -"
"Stop it," Sakura cut the man off. "Touya, if I hadn't started yelling at her, she would still be eating dinner with us. Stop saying things like that. Stop saying it's not my fault. Stop saying I had nothing to do with it. Stop saying I didn't cause it to happen. STOP MAKING ME REGRET LOVING KEN!" Sakura yelled, fresh tears filling up her eyes and falling down to already tear-stained cheeks.
Touya sat down on the bed beside Sakura and wrapped his arms around her, letting her cry on his chest. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. "Sakura, I didn't know how hard it was on you. I didn't know how you felt inside. But I still think blaming yourself is wrong." He pulled back, looking into Sakura's emerald eyes. "Everything's done and over with. Nothing can change what happened. Nothing's gonna make mom live again, no matter how appealing the idea is. And blaming yourself certainly is not gonna help. Please, Sakura, help make things easier for me and especially for dad. Stop blaming yourself. It was God's plan to make mom go to heaven, but God doesn't want you to waste your life blaming yourself for something that was part of His plan."
Sakura let the words wash through her. It's true, God did make mom go. But she can't help but blame herself. But she didn't want her dad and her brother to worry about her, so she began to live a lie around them.
"Okay," she said. "I'll go down in a minute.
=== next day ===
It was a warm and sunny day, but not for everyone in Nadesiko Kinomoto's funeral. Especially for Sakura Kinomoto.
After the talk Sakura and Touya had, Sakura began to act a little happier, just like the old, cheerful, giddy Sakura, the Sakura everybody knew. But no one but Sakura knew that this was all just an act. Deep inside, she knew she could never be the old Sakura ever again.
As the pastor spoke of Nadesiko, how she lived her life, how nice, kind, beautiful and loving she was, Sakura looked around and studied the people present. She saw Sonomi Daidouji, Nadesiko's bestfriend, all of her aunts and uncles, Nadesiko's colleagues and her grandparents.
After a while, Sakura stopped looking around and just kept silent, with a disappointed look on her face. She was hoping to see Ken around here somewhere. Giving up, she returned to listening to her father sayiong something about her mother.
Then, after a few minutes, someone put a hand on Sakura's shoulder. She looked up and was caught in the black depths of Ken's eyes. She smile up at him and sighed as she held his hand and he sat down next to her, a silent camaraderie between them.
After the burial, Sakura excused herself from the conversation between her, her dad, and the pastor to follow Ken to his car. When they were out of sight, Sakura wrapped her arms around Ken's torso. "I'm so glad you came," Sakura mumbled into his chest. They stayed in that position for a while. But then, Ken started to pull away. This shocked Sakura. She looked up at him with questioning eyes.
"Sakura," Ken started, but he paused, sighed then continued. "We need to talk." He looked at me in the eye. Surprisingly, he looked nervous.
Uh-oh, "we need to talk" means bad news. This made Sakura nervous as well.
"Sakura," Ken spoke, after Sakura kept quiet for two minutes. "I think we should break it off." He sighed, almost happy he said it, but mostly relieved he had gotten it over with. "I met someone else."
Sakura heard something like glass shattering, and noticed that it was her heart, that was already in a thousand pieces, break into million pieces. At this moment, she felt like she was down to zero. Tears started to sting the back of her eyes, but she help them back with all of her might. Quietly, she asked, "Who?"
Ken sighed and resignedly said, "Nanami."
Hearing that name, Sakura's hand shot out and slapped Ken's face so hard that it snapped sideways. Of all the people he could get it on with, he had to get it on with one of her closest friends. That made the pain's intensity triple.
Being a good Christian, Sakura apologized. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that." Sakura paused to take off the ring that was sparkling on her left ring finger and handed it over. "Here, Ken. Give it to a more deserving person. I'm glad you told me this soon. I hope you have a wonderful and prosperous life, Ken. I have already forgiven you. I wish you all the best. Goodbye, Ken. It was nice knowing you. God Bless."
At that, Sakura stepped away and walked home.
=== later ===
Sakura stepped into her room and then, all of a sudden, the tears she held back started to fall. She felt so broken. She was down to the negatives. With all the pain, she wept. She wept for hours until she was tired and fell asleep, not knowing Touya was outside being the worried brother he was.
As she slept, Touya went to his father with a worried look on his face. His father saw this and immediately knew what was wrong.
"What's happening?" asked Fujitaka Kinomoto, worry written all over his face. He knew his daighter loved her mother very much. Having her gone would probably make her faith disappear, but that was highly doubtful. Sakura was a very faithful Christian.
"She's sleeping," Touya answered, wearily. He didn't get much sleep anymore. Every night, Sakura would be weeping and with only a wall separating their rooms, Touya could hear her very well.
A sigh of relief was released and Fujitaka relaxed in his chair, almost falling asleep. It had been a very long week.
=== later = 5pm ===
The ringing phone woke Sakura up. She had been sleeping for the past three hours and she had a terrible headache. She sat up with bloodshot, red- rimmed eyes and picked up the phone and muttered a sleepy "Hello?" into the receiver.
"Is this miss Sakura Kinomoto?" the voice on the other line said.
"Yes, this is her," Sakura answered, suddenly awake, despite the thrumming pain in her head. The voice didn't sound familiar, and the person had a weird accent in his Japanese. "What is it?"
"Miss Kinomoto, I am Frank Markson of the Central Intelligence Agency of the United States of America," the man said. "I'm calling to say that we have decided to recruit you and train you to become one of our field agents. Seeing that you are fluent in Japanese, English, French and Spanish, and seeing that you seem to be a science wiz, you were chosen as one of our new recruits."
Sakura was left shocked at this. "Is this a joke?"
"No, ma'am," Frank replied in English. "If you say yes, we will send you a ticket to LA in three days. You will be given a free scholarship to UCLA, an apartment and monthly allowance while in training, which usually takes two to three years.
Sakura thought about it and realized she did need to go to a university soon, instead of a community college. And seeing her situation right now, she wanted out of Japan, everything here pained her too much. As to the thing with her dad and brother, she could leave in the night and leave a note, they'd surely understand. She had decided.
After she thought it through again, to make sure nothing was wrong, she gave her answer. "I'll go."
=== three days later ===
Dad,
Sorry for leaving so suddenly. I know that losing mom was hard and me leaving would make things harder, but dad, please understand my feelings. Being in Japan will always pain me. I didn't say anything, dad, but Ken broke things off with me on the day of the burial, that had been my last straw. I was on the verge of suicide, dad, but God didn't want me to leave this world yet. Thank God I got the chance to go away. Dad, for now, I'll not say anything about where I'm going. For some time, I have to be free of anything that's connected with mom or Ken. I'm sorry, but please bear with me, dad. I hope you understand. You probably wont be hearing from me anytime soon. Please pray for me, I need all the help in the world. I love you, dad. Please don't forget me and please be happy without me and mom. I'll pray for you. God bless you always.
Love, Sakura
================
Touya,
Brother, please understand the circumstances, I have to leave the country to keep my sanity. Brother, I haven't been too honest with you. Since I am leaving, I'll have to tell you this. I'm sorry brother, but I cant be my old self again. Mom's death had a big impact on me, and while I can, I'll take it full on. But, brother, I have faltered. The pain caused to me by Ken had made me decide to leave. I'm sorry. Please don't feel sad for I'll always be here. If you need me, just close your eyes and remember all the fun times we had together. Goodbye, Touya, I love you. Please pray for me as I'll always pray for you. God bless you all the time.
Love, Sakura
=== That was 5 years ago ===
OKAY!! Prologue is done!! I'm still working on chapter one.. I'll try to finidh it as fast as I can.. I'm halfway done already.. hehehe..
I'm not really sure how the CIA works on recruitment but I wanted this kind of plot so plear bear with me.. a part of this plot was gotten from the series Alias.. I don't own it..!
PLEASE REVIEW!! I need the encouragement or the insults or whatever you'll write in the review.. so please!! If you don't like it.. feel free to flame.. I don't mind.. =) hope to see you guys soon!!
If anything confuses you, feel free to ask.. mail me at n6389@hotmail.com
God Bless.. =)
-nikki aka junkie