Disclaimer:
Don't own it. Nah.
Authors Notes:
There's this amazingly talented girl out there, who can write beautifully and I'm sure can act too, who goes by the penname of lafeemechante She's a really interesting person, even if I never talk to her. But, yes, she's said a couple things in her livejournal entries that sprouted this story. Because what she says is true.
So thank her for sprouting this story. I just put it together. And kind of messed it up.
When you're famous, people pretty much act as if you're dead. They don't seem to realize that you're still a real person, and that what they say affects you the same way it would affect them. People don't seem to see that our daily lives are even harder than their own, even if it might not seem like it. To them, they see this picture perfect life. To us, we see the hardships off it.
I chose this life. I knew the consequences. I had been warned ahead of time. But I still took it in stride, and now here I am. You can't escape this life, either. Once you're here, you're here. And sometimes you don't even get to choose to travel this path, either. Instead you are spun around like a puppet and placed in the middle of it, without getting to start at the beginning. You miss a lot, not starting at the beginning. It's like reading a book only from the middle on. There are details in the starting that you miss, starting in the center. Except sometimes the first pages are missing. That's what makes it hard, I think. There's nothing you can do about it, then.
If I were Gilderoy Lockhart, while he still had his memory, I would probably exaggerate this life greatly. I would see it was great, yet it was terrible. It was the best anyone could ask for, but no one would want it, because it was so hard. I would contradict myself in every way possible, and run from the truth.
The truth is an ugly thing. Some people don't seem to realize that, either. They think the truth is something great, and that it is better than lies. But sometimes lies are better. Being able to hide behind a lie is much safer than being in the open, the truth behind you. Being a follower is much easier than being a leader. Responsibly comes with being a leader.
"If you don't tell a lie, Ginny, you have nothing to hide from. You have no lies to keep in order, and the only thing in your path is the truth. Truth is always stronger than a lie, no matter how terrible it might be."
A lady told me that once. She's long gone, now. I'm not sure where she went. She disappeared unexpectedly, almost into thin air. But no matter where she is now, her life affected mine greatly. She was full of wisdom, that one. She looked beyond the borders that enclose too many of us. She thought about the big picture, and taught me to do so also. I've thanked her for that lesson every day.
But I'm not here to talk about lessons.
When you're famous, people think you're perfect. Any little flaw that you might possess is magnified until it is something huge, and everyone knows. You cannot act like a normal human being out in public. Anything you say and do that is caught by someone else can, and will, be used against you at some point. The quote that nobody is perfect seems to be thrown away for us.
No matter how hard you try, I've found it is impossible to even act perfect. At some point or another someone like Rita Skeeter will destroy your life. She will use your tiniest bad habit, exaggerate it a hundred times, and then report it to everyone. That's one problem of our wizarding world. Everyone knows everything when it happens.
This can cause more problems than it does solutions. Sometimes I want to rip the magazines and papers apart, and throw them back in their faces.
"There!" I will say. "How does it feel to have your work thrown in your face, now? Not nice, is it?"
It can grate at your soul, this reality can. It can scratch its nails along a chalkboard making the worst sound ever, and never stop. It's always there, and eventually you begin to learn to ignore it to some length. But it's always there. And no matter how hard you try, it always will be. That spirit that joins you when you join the spotlight never leaves. And I doubt it ever will.
I'm not the person I was before I joined all this. I don't think I ever will be again, either. I don't mind, though. No, no matter how terrible this life can be, I don't mind. I chose it. And choosing is better than not choosing.
In the end we all meet the same end. We all will die eventually. It's how we live our lives that count. As someone once said, 'time can change us, but we cannot change time.' I'm not about to try to, either.
Voldemort is on the rise. I wonder if being in the spotlight will be the same as it is for everyone else. I doubt it. But I can hope. Maybe it will force him to rethink his ideas. I know it made me rethink some of my decisions.
It balances out, good and evil. Yet people only see the good. They need to realize we're not all glamour and happiness. And they need to quit acting as if we're dolls. I'm not a puppet, and I don't mean to ever become one. People should quit trying to make me into one.
People should recognize that I'm not dead yet.