Wazaaaaaaaaap?! Welcome to chapter six! Now, in response to my loverly
reviewers:
Keeper of Memory Pepperochu: You have an IQ of 126?! Go Keeper! It's neat that you have a Techo you call Mur... I feel honored, even though you didn't name it after MY Mur. I have a weird mind, y'know? I only have one Final Fantasy game, FFT for GameBoy Advanced, which I call my GameSlave Deluxe. I want more FF games, though...
Dragon Of The Rose: a psychic-psycho? I call those psychicos! Zim's not really a psychico, he didn't predict what was gonna happen on Thursday, he just imagined something that COULD have happened but didn't. Still, he might be a psychico... wait till the end of the story to see...
Pirate Monkey: Is Quifosenkis like schizophrenia? Well, sorta. Schizophrenia won't kill you, but it's similar. Yes, I do see the name resemblance. Lard Nar, Pirate Monkey... both names have one N! Yup.
Darqx: Zim and Dib complimenting me on my story? Even if it is in code, I am honored! *gringrin*
Ashsema: Greeting Ashsema, I'm glad you like the stuff about Irken eyes. They're actually words in either Greek or Latin, or maybe one's one and one's the other... unus means "one," so I used unus to mean the primary or number 1 optikos, and bi means "two." Optikos means vision, so these two spots are kinda like the pupils. Heheh, the poor doctor... The Tallest seem prone to throwing Irkens into space, don't they? I mean, they did it twice in Battle of the Planets. And the first time they didn't even get the right person! It probably is terrifying losing one's mind, if they know they're losing it, but if you know you're crazy then you're not. Well, that's the phrase... but Zim probably is pretty creeped out. Dib's probably taking this pretty well. After all, he thinks Zim's being his usual space-alien self. But all that'll change soon enough. In this very chapter, in fact!
Invader Alex: Thank you for your review, and for making this a fave!
I love getting reviews... thanks, you guys! If it weren't for you, I would've given up on writing this!
So, in this chapter, Zim has a weird dream, we learn more about this wild and wacky (WACKY!?!) disease of Quifosenkis, and our favorite Irken flips out royally. Besides that, Dib actually becomes IMPORTANT for a chapter! For me, that's a big thing. Usually, unless Dib's the star of my fic, he doesn't appear unless it's briefly.
I'm assuming that Red and Purple are twins. It just makes sense to me! And they seem too close in my mind to be just friends.
Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim. If I did, I would have used the meager profits I had made off of it to open my own TV station, buy some alien cartoons, and start broadcasting "Aliens Live!" with IZ taking up at least half of prime time. Wouldn't that be nice?
***
Doom Dream: Part I
Zim tossed and turned in his sleep, sweating profusely. He was mumbling rabidly and, occasionally, a strain of a song would pass through his lips. Of course, he was having a dream...
***
"Sucked inside your sorry mind, I know just what I will find, things that'll make the strongest Soldier shriek," Zim hummed, walking down a dark street. "I don't want the grand tour, just show me the back door, I'll explore your sick mind next week!"
It was almost time for the funeral ceremony of a Tallest. Zim was on Conventia, headed there. He had teleported down pretty far away from the specific convention hall with the ceremony, so he was pretty much alone.
Since the concert that had been originally scheduled was cancelled, Zim made up for the fact my singing some of their songs. "'Cause you're a... Sicko-Weirdo-Killer-Psycho! I wish I'd never even met you! You're a Sadistic-Masochist, an' you got Qui-fo-sen-kis, and I wish I'd never met you! Don't drag me to your imagination, with dreams of death and mutilation, save your thoughts 'til the invention, of the Padded Room version 2!"
Zim turned down a narrow alley. It was almost completely dark. He thought he heard something. Zim's breath caught.
He stood there several seconds, before he started walking again. In a quivery voice, he began singing again. "Have you got nothing in your Pak? Sane programming you seem to lack. So maybe we should send you back? To the Download Chamber with you!"
Zim felt something on his shoulder. He whirled around, and screamed.
***
"Have you got... ungh... the strongest Soldier... grrrrAAAAAAAH!"
Zim woke up with a bloodcurdling scream, eyes wide and optikos contracted from his own body heat. "Wh-what-- where--?"
Zim looked around to see Mur standing beside him. "You fell asleep in the living room and had a bad dream," she explained calmly.
"I-I did?" Zim looked around. He was not in some dark alley, he was in his own base. Gir was watching The Ogres Of Mississippi.
"Don't go into the attic! NOT THE ATTIC!" the robot shrieked. Zim looked down at Gir in relief. Nothing scary here... just Gir and... and the Earth TV show. He was safe.
"That was just a dream?" Zim asked, his optikos gradually returning to normal size as he cooled down.
"Yep. You're safe here!"
Zim nodded. But, a nagging doubt formed in the back of his mind. "Are you sure that it was just a dream? It seemed so real... like a memory..."
"It was just a dream!" Mur snapped. "Get it?"
Zim gulped. "Y-yes SIR!" he said. Mur's eyes softened. "Okay, Zim, don't get all wimpy on me. You're tough, remember? Nothing scares you."
Zim nodded. "Okay. Right. Tough. Strong." Zim could see he wasn't convincing Mur he was okay. "INVINCIBLE! I AM ZIM!"
Mur smiled. "That's right!" Zim grinned his trademark Doomy Smile©.
"Who're you talkin' to?" Gir asked.
"What do you mean?" Zim asked. "Mur. She's sitting right beside me!"
Gir glanced back at the empty seat he was gesturing to. "I didn't know you made friends with the couch..." Gir mumbled, before turning back to the movie. "Huh? NO! Don't die, Mikey! YOU'RE THE SEXY CHARACTER!" Gir gasped, then sighed as "Mikey" was devoured by an ogre. "The good-looking comic relief characters always go first," the robot said regretfully.
Zim eyed Gir warily, before turning back to Mur. "Eh, he's just weird." Mur nodded in response.
***
"I got the test back!" Nakay said, barging into the Massive's control room. Two guards moved to push her back outside, but Red waved them aside.
"So? What's it say?" Red said eagerly.
Nakay studied the papers carefully for a few seconds, before looking up and declaring, "You're pregnant."
Red's jaw dropped. "I'm WHAT??" Nakay laughed.
"C'mon, did you think I was serious? It says we're related! I'm your daughter!"
Red let out a whoop. "AAAAAALL RIGHT!"
"Could you keep it down?!" Purple yelled. "We've got a transmission coming in!"
Red groaned and floated back to his seat. "From who?"
"From Earth, Sirs," one of the Communications Officers said.
Purple groaned, but Red smiled. "Hey Nakay, you're a brain doctor, right?"
Nakay walked up beside Red. "Well, that's putting it in rather broad terms..."
"Well, try to figure this guy out!" Red challenged. "Invader Zim. Caused both Horribly Painful Overload Days, killed two Tallests, made Slark-only- knows-how-many explosions, came back from exile saying he'd quit, and is a general nutcase."
Nakay thought a second, and then nodded. "Show me."
"Put Zim on the main view screen!" Red commanded.
Zim's face flickered into view. "Greetings, my Tallest! I'd like to inform you that I'm doing alright--"
"Well, if you were dead you wouldn't be calling us," Purple muttered.
"--and I believe this planet's in some kind of time warp," Zim said.
Purple's antenna lifted. The scholarly side of him loved anything involving the fourth dimension. Red didn't get that at all. What was so fascinating about time? "What makes you say that?" Purple asked.
Zim's own antenna lifted, and his eyes glowed with pride. He'd actually caught one of the Tallests' attention! "A day repeated itself, and the humans didn't even realize it. Also, some of the events changed. Some preliminary research I've done suggests it might have been from a strange chemical that fell from the sky the day before, a chemical the Earth-beasts refer to alternately as 'water' and 'rain.' But they have no recollection of the loop. Perhaps it is because they absorbed more of this water/rain than I did."
Purple nodded. "I see... fascinating..." He cleared his throat. "Good job, Zim. I expect you will do more research on this loop?"
Zim's eyes brightened even more, and he saluted enthusiastically. "Yes sir, my Tallests! Invader Zim, signing off!" The screen went dark.
Red turned to Nakay. "Well?"
Nakay thought for a moment. "Zim seemed very pleased with Purple's praise-- "
"We're not on a first-name basis yet, Nurse Nakay!" Purple interjected.
"Sorry. He was pleased with Tallest Purple's praise, and even though most Irkens should be happy with honor from either of you, Zim seemed moreso than usual. Maybe he suffers from low self-esteem?"
"Humph!" Purple said. "He certainly doesn't show it!"
"Well, most people with such a problem don't. But he seems a better actor than most. I think he has a good friend or something giving him an ego- boost, keeping him from getting too caught up in his problem. That is, assuming I'm right."
Red nodded. "Anything else you noticed?"
"Well, Zim seems pretty dedicated. And he's a hard worker. If he's done what you've said he's done, though, maybe he's a bit obsessive with his work. When's the last time that guy's got a vacation?"
Red and Purple looked at each other. "Well, Irkens in the military are offered a month long break every couple of years, but Zim's always skipped over his to keep working."
"Yes. He's definitely obsessive. But, the one thing I saw that I think is the most interesting is that Zim needs sleep."
Red and Purple's eyes widened. "He sleeps?" Red repeated. "Irkens haven't needed sleep since we began wearing out ID Paks!"
Nakay nodded. "I know. Which is why this is so interesting. Most species that sleep do so because they need to rest their minds after their bodies and minds are worn out. While they sleep, their body gets to relax and their mind gets to subconsciously sort through the day's problems. Well, ID Paks are programmed so they can solve a given amount of their host Irken's mental struggles without interfering with daily activities, and Irken bodies have been bred to fatigue very slowly. Sitting down for a few seconds would be enough to restore an Irken's physical energy.
"I don't think Zim sleeps because he's physically tired. When he saluted, he did so with such energy that he couldn't possibly be fatigued. But ID Paks are still just machines, and they can only calculate through problems so fast. I think that if Zim needs sleep, it's because the ID Pak can't calculate enough to settle his mind. He needs to use his biological brain to help sort through these problems, and he can't do that if he's awake. He's got some sort of mental stress, I think."
Purple whistled. "She got those brains from her uncle!"
Red ignored Purple's comment. "So, how did you figure out Zim sleeps?"
"In the corner of his eyes were dried tears. In this case, that doesn't mean he was crying, it means they just sat there long enough to dry, which could only have happened if he had his eyes closed for several hours. Which would mean he was asleep. If he'd rubbed his eyes recently and got the tears out, I probably wouldn't have figured it out."
"Yet another one of the eye's many uses," Red commented.
Purple shook his head. "I don't understand how you can get into all this mental stuff. It's all pretty boring to me."
Red glared at Purple. "Yeah, well, how can you get into that time stuff? Huh?"
"So, Red it the psychologist and Purple the chronologist?" Nakay said. "Makes sense."
Both Tallests turned to look at her and said, "How so?"
And so, Nakay ended up going into a long-winded explanation of how Red's love of lazers and Purple's of smoke machines connects to their love of psychology and chronology.
Red and Purple blinked, flabbergasted. "She gets her brains from me, but she learned to ramble from you," Purple said. Red whacked him.
***
Zim dragged himself into his base, barely able to get the door closed behind him before he collapsed on the floor.
"Bad day, huh?" Zim looked up and saw Mur sitting on the couch, watching the Scary Monkey Show with Gir.
"I didn't see you when I came in," Zim said. Mur shrugged. "I was here the whole time."
Zim managed, with his spider legs, to drag himself up onto the couch. "Dib is REALLY annoying."
Mur glanced at Zim. "Just annoying?"
"Well, yeah... why?"
Mur snorted. "He's trying to stop your mission, and has messed up countless plans. He's a jerk."
"Well, not really," Zim said hesitantly. He had learned long ago to be careful when arguing with Mur. "He has a good reason to try to stop me. He's protecting his planet! If I was on Irk and he was trying to take over, would I be a jerk to stop him?"
"Of course not!" Mur yelled. "The Irkens are superior. Irkens were BORN to rule all. You were destined to take over this planet. Should anyone get in your way? Well?"
Zim started to get angry at Mur. "NO! Of course not!"
"Well, then, why should Dib? The little stink-beast, water-balloon thrower, smelly, weak, stupid, crazy little brat! Does this planet deserve to live? So why does he defend it?"
Zim's anger slowly left Mur and began focusing on Earth, the humans, and Dib in particular. "No, it doesn't deserve to live. You're right. Dib deserves to DIE!"
Zim noticed Gir looking at him. "Eh? What?"
"You're doin' that thing again," Gir said plainly.
Zim blinked. "What thing?"
"The weird talky thing."
"What are you talking about??"
"Maybe he's talking about your weird talking-to-empty-space thing," a voice from behind Zim said. He whirled around. "DIB!" He felt the rage Mur had planted in him grow. "What the slark do YOU want?"
Dib almost made some comment about how Zim had slipped out the alien word "slark," but he had more pressing questions. "Who are you talking to, Zim? Your imaginary friend?"
Zim blinked. "Eh? No! I was talking to Mur!"
Dib nodded smugly. "Sure, deny it. Poor little Zimmy has an imaginary friend."
Zim looked at Mur. She was seething. "That bratty little..." she muttered.
"Stop acting stupid, Dib." Zim grabbed Mur's hand and waved it in Dib's face. "I know you can see her."
"Ha ha. Yeah right, Zim."
Now Zim was confused. "You can't see her? Really?" Dib shook his head.
"He must not be able to comprehend my beauty," Mur said coolly, trying not to appear as angry as she had earlier. Zim snickered at her comment.
Dib started to look nervous now. "Okay, Zim. Laughing at nothing is just creepy. You can stop. I get the picture, you want to creep me out. I'm leaving." Dib turned to go out the door.
"Wait!" Zim said. He jumped up off the couch and grabbed Dib's trench coat. "You really can't see her?"
Dib didn't turn around. "N-no. Just leave me alone. You're really starting to freak me out." He tried to shake Zim's hand off, but the alien only held on tighter. "Zim! Let go!"
Zim yanked Dib around so he could see the human's face. "Not until we get this whole mess straightened out," he hissed.
"Gir," Zim said. He could count on the robot, right? "Is there anyone in this room besides Dib and me?"
"Mmyep," Gir said. Zim started to relax. "There's me! There's you and me and Dib!"
Zim tensed up again. "Anyone else, Gir?"
Mur rolled her eyes. "I think he needs a little help." She waved her hand in front of Gir's face. "Hello Gir!"
Gir shook his head. "Nope. Just us three." Mur slowly stopped waving. "I guess he's just being his stupid self, huh?"
"Yeah," Zim said uneasily. "That must be it."
Dib shook off Zim's grip and grabbed the alien's shoulders. "Look, Zim, something's not right with you," Dib said in a low, quivering voice. "We need to get you help. You're coming with me." He clenched Zim's wrist and pulled him. "You're coming to my house! Gaz knows more about insanity and stuff than I do!"
"Insanity?!" Zim said loudly. "What are you talking about? YOU'RE the crazy one!"
"Shut up, Zim! You're confused!" Dib started running with Zim out of the base and down the street.
"Dib, wait! I don't have my disguise on!"
***
Dib shoved Zim onto his bed, then sat on his stomach so he couldn't get away. "Okay, alien, talk. Who's Mur?"
Zim remained silent. He started struggling against Dib's weight to get away.
"I see some persuasion is in order," Dib said. He licked his hand and pressed it against Zim's face. The Irken groaned in pain as the acid started working into his skin.
Gaz glanced into the room at the sound, and her eyes popped open. She saw her brother on top of Zim on a bed, holding his face. "I'll, um, just leave you two alone..." she stuttered, looking out the window and blushing.
"What's with you?" Dib said, then a realization dawned on him. He blushed too. "IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE! I'm interrogating Zim!"
Zim whacked Dib's hand. "Your stupid saliva on my face..." he muttered.
Gaz raised an eyebrow. "I rest my case," she said.
"NO! We're not doing anything!" Dib insisted.
"Yes we are," Zim said. Dib blushed mightily.
"That's now what I meant, Zim. Do you aliens know anything about 'the birds and the bees'?" Dib said.
"What do your stupid animals have to do with anything? I thought you were trying to prove to me that Mur isn't real. Which is a LIE!"
"See?" Dib said smugly.
"Okay, so what IS going on?" Gaz asked, crossing her arms.
"Zim's talking to himself!" Dib said. "He thinks there's some person named Mur and--" A realization hit Dib. "Wait... is Mur the person you were talking about when you thought it was Friday? And it was actually Thursday?"
Zim glanced away. "Yes... I can't help it if you're all crazy!"
"Usually, the simplest explanation is the correct one," Gaz said. "Do you think it's more likely that the whole world went crazy and forgot Thursday, and now no one can see Mur? Or, you imagined the Thursday and you're imagining Mur?"
Zim glared at Gaz. "You aren't a part of this conversation. You don't know what's going on."
"Yes I do," Gaz said. "I was in the cafeteria the day Dib saw you talking to yourself. He pointed it out to me before he yelled to the rest of the cafeteria, so I saw you talking to an empty seat."
"It... wasn't... EMPTY!" Zim insisted, and then started muttering. "I don't know why you humans think it is. Stupid, blind species, don't even know what day it is, Mur was right, I am destined to rule Earth..." Zim trailed off as he noticed Gaz was staring expectantly.
"Well?" Gaz prodded. "Say it!"
"Say what?" Zim asked.
"'My preciousssss,'" Gaz hissed, then went back to her normal voice. "It's obvious you were building up to that."
Dib rolled his eyes, and then looked at Zim again. "Okay, again. Who's Mur?"
Zim could tell he wasn't going anywhere until he spilled. "She's a friend I've had for a long time."
Gaz walked closer. "Your species, human, or neither?"
"Human."
"Why does that matter?" Dib asked.
Gaz ignored him. "Did you know her before you got to Earth?"
"Yes."
"Then how could you have imagined a human?"
Dib's eyebrows shot up. "Yeah..."
"I didn't IMAGINE her!" Zim repeated, still angry, but finally the stress made him crack. His narrowed eyes opened into a pleading look. "Please... believe me. Mur... she's real. I've known her over half of my life."
Gaz was merciless. "I'll be the judge of that. Just answer the questions. Where did you meet her?"
"I don't remember."
"When?"
"That, either."
"If she's your friend, why doesn't she tell you?"
"She just brushes my question off. It's not really an important one, anyway..."
"How did you talk to her? Did other Irkens see her?"
"No, I talked to her in..." Zim realized how stupid this would sound. No, not stupid. Crazy. "I talked to her in my sleep." Zim's eyelids drooped in defeat. "Maybe... just maybe you're right..."
"Like heck they are!"
Zim looked up. Mur was sitting at the very end of Dib's bed, arms crossed. "You're not crazy, THEY are! Other kids at school say Dib's crazy, and they're probably absolutely right! His sister's no better."
"Yeah..." Zim said. "They're the crazy ones..."
"Zim?" Dib said nervously. "You're talking to yourself again."
"No I'm not!" Zim said confidently. Here was Mur, sitting right where Zim could see her. Evidence that he was sane. "You two are the crazy ones. I'm just fine."
"You're crazy!" Gaz shouted. "I've reached my verdict. Crazy, insane, wacko, loopy, off yer rocker. You need help, Zim! Case closed, this court is adjourned, next trial, please!"
Zim withered under Gaz's words. "N-no, I can see Mur..."
"Yes you can! And that's all that matters!" Mur yelled. "You're sane! SANE! Just convince these imbeciles, and everything'll be fine, right? TELL THEM! Tell these meat-bags the ZIM way!"
Zim shook his head. Gaz had started talking again while Mur was still going, and now they were both blurring each other out with their yells. His head was starting to pound
"SHUT UUUUUP!!!!" Zim screamed, grabbing his antenna. Mur and Gaz closed their mouths, the latter's eyes widening as she took a step back. Mur seemed proud.
Zim shoved Dib off, and stood on top of the bed. "I can't think straight with the two of you yelling! How can either of you convince me of ANYTHING when you're having a shrieking contest?!"
"But Gaz was the only one--" Zim swung his leg up and kicked Dib hard in the jaw. "YOU SHUT UP TOO!"
Zim turned to Mur, who was still grinning. "You! Mur-stink! Wipe that smirk off of your face!" She only grinned wider.
"Sorry, Zimmy, but I just like seeing you acting strong for once. And I didn't even have to help you along!"
Zim growled. "Never... call... me... ZIMMY!" He lunged at Mur, but fell...
right...
through...
her.
He landed on the floor head first, sliding into the wall. Stunned, he slowly looked up at a poster that said, "Map of the Human Mug." He sat up and laboriously turned to look at the end of Dib's bed. Mur wasn't there.
"There... there was never anyone at the end of the bed, was there?" Dib and Gaz shook their heads.
Zim stood up shakily. He tried to form a rational. What had happened, here? It was hard... Mur always explained the things in his life he couldn't understand.
A soothing voice whispered from the back of his mind, telling him the best excuse it had. Zim believed it. "I-I guess Mur just isn't a normal human, h- huh?"
He fainted.
***
After all that, Zim STILL doesn't believe he's crazy! Well, he isn't exactly known for his ability to listen to other people, is he?
We are quickly approaching uncharted territory. Up to this point, I've been following a vague plot guide I wrote several months ago, that tell the basic events and divide the chapters. I wrote about half of the plot guide, because I didn't know where the story was going. Well, now I DO know where the story is going, but I don't have a plot guide for it, so it isn't very specific. Stinks, neh? I've got one more chapter before I run out of plot guide. After that... Welcome to the Louisiana Purchase, good luck making your own map!
So, I'll update soon. Kindly review, and if you feel lazy, feel free to use the cheat sheet in chapter 4.
~ckret2
Keeper of Memory Pepperochu: You have an IQ of 126?! Go Keeper! It's neat that you have a Techo you call Mur... I feel honored, even though you didn't name it after MY Mur. I have a weird mind, y'know? I only have one Final Fantasy game, FFT for GameBoy Advanced, which I call my GameSlave Deluxe. I want more FF games, though...
Dragon Of The Rose: a psychic-psycho? I call those psychicos! Zim's not really a psychico, he didn't predict what was gonna happen on Thursday, he just imagined something that COULD have happened but didn't. Still, he might be a psychico... wait till the end of the story to see...
Pirate Monkey: Is Quifosenkis like schizophrenia? Well, sorta. Schizophrenia won't kill you, but it's similar. Yes, I do see the name resemblance. Lard Nar, Pirate Monkey... both names have one N! Yup.
Darqx: Zim and Dib complimenting me on my story? Even if it is in code, I am honored! *gringrin*
Ashsema: Greeting Ashsema, I'm glad you like the stuff about Irken eyes. They're actually words in either Greek or Latin, or maybe one's one and one's the other... unus means "one," so I used unus to mean the primary or number 1 optikos, and bi means "two." Optikos means vision, so these two spots are kinda like the pupils. Heheh, the poor doctor... The Tallest seem prone to throwing Irkens into space, don't they? I mean, they did it twice in Battle of the Planets. And the first time they didn't even get the right person! It probably is terrifying losing one's mind, if they know they're losing it, but if you know you're crazy then you're not. Well, that's the phrase... but Zim probably is pretty creeped out. Dib's probably taking this pretty well. After all, he thinks Zim's being his usual space-alien self. But all that'll change soon enough. In this very chapter, in fact!
Invader Alex: Thank you for your review, and for making this a fave!
I love getting reviews... thanks, you guys! If it weren't for you, I would've given up on writing this!
So, in this chapter, Zim has a weird dream, we learn more about this wild and wacky (WACKY!?!) disease of Quifosenkis, and our favorite Irken flips out royally. Besides that, Dib actually becomes IMPORTANT for a chapter! For me, that's a big thing. Usually, unless Dib's the star of my fic, he doesn't appear unless it's briefly.
I'm assuming that Red and Purple are twins. It just makes sense to me! And they seem too close in my mind to be just friends.
Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim. If I did, I would have used the meager profits I had made off of it to open my own TV station, buy some alien cartoons, and start broadcasting "Aliens Live!" with IZ taking up at least half of prime time. Wouldn't that be nice?
***
Doom Dream: Part I
Zim tossed and turned in his sleep, sweating profusely. He was mumbling rabidly and, occasionally, a strain of a song would pass through his lips. Of course, he was having a dream...
***
"Sucked inside your sorry mind, I know just what I will find, things that'll make the strongest Soldier shriek," Zim hummed, walking down a dark street. "I don't want the grand tour, just show me the back door, I'll explore your sick mind next week!"
It was almost time for the funeral ceremony of a Tallest. Zim was on Conventia, headed there. He had teleported down pretty far away from the specific convention hall with the ceremony, so he was pretty much alone.
Since the concert that had been originally scheduled was cancelled, Zim made up for the fact my singing some of their songs. "'Cause you're a... Sicko-Weirdo-Killer-Psycho! I wish I'd never even met you! You're a Sadistic-Masochist, an' you got Qui-fo-sen-kis, and I wish I'd never met you! Don't drag me to your imagination, with dreams of death and mutilation, save your thoughts 'til the invention, of the Padded Room version 2!"
Zim turned down a narrow alley. It was almost completely dark. He thought he heard something. Zim's breath caught.
He stood there several seconds, before he started walking again. In a quivery voice, he began singing again. "Have you got nothing in your Pak? Sane programming you seem to lack. So maybe we should send you back? To the Download Chamber with you!"
Zim felt something on his shoulder. He whirled around, and screamed.
***
"Have you got... ungh... the strongest Soldier... grrrrAAAAAAAH!"
Zim woke up with a bloodcurdling scream, eyes wide and optikos contracted from his own body heat. "Wh-what-- where--?"
Zim looked around to see Mur standing beside him. "You fell asleep in the living room and had a bad dream," she explained calmly.
"I-I did?" Zim looked around. He was not in some dark alley, he was in his own base. Gir was watching The Ogres Of Mississippi.
"Don't go into the attic! NOT THE ATTIC!" the robot shrieked. Zim looked down at Gir in relief. Nothing scary here... just Gir and... and the Earth TV show. He was safe.
"That was just a dream?" Zim asked, his optikos gradually returning to normal size as he cooled down.
"Yep. You're safe here!"
Zim nodded. But, a nagging doubt formed in the back of his mind. "Are you sure that it was just a dream? It seemed so real... like a memory..."
"It was just a dream!" Mur snapped. "Get it?"
Zim gulped. "Y-yes SIR!" he said. Mur's eyes softened. "Okay, Zim, don't get all wimpy on me. You're tough, remember? Nothing scares you."
Zim nodded. "Okay. Right. Tough. Strong." Zim could see he wasn't convincing Mur he was okay. "INVINCIBLE! I AM ZIM!"
Mur smiled. "That's right!" Zim grinned his trademark Doomy Smile©.
"Who're you talkin' to?" Gir asked.
"What do you mean?" Zim asked. "Mur. She's sitting right beside me!"
Gir glanced back at the empty seat he was gesturing to. "I didn't know you made friends with the couch..." Gir mumbled, before turning back to the movie. "Huh? NO! Don't die, Mikey! YOU'RE THE SEXY CHARACTER!" Gir gasped, then sighed as "Mikey" was devoured by an ogre. "The good-looking comic relief characters always go first," the robot said regretfully.
Zim eyed Gir warily, before turning back to Mur. "Eh, he's just weird." Mur nodded in response.
***
"I got the test back!" Nakay said, barging into the Massive's control room. Two guards moved to push her back outside, but Red waved them aside.
"So? What's it say?" Red said eagerly.
Nakay studied the papers carefully for a few seconds, before looking up and declaring, "You're pregnant."
Red's jaw dropped. "I'm WHAT??" Nakay laughed.
"C'mon, did you think I was serious? It says we're related! I'm your daughter!"
Red let out a whoop. "AAAAAALL RIGHT!"
"Could you keep it down?!" Purple yelled. "We've got a transmission coming in!"
Red groaned and floated back to his seat. "From who?"
"From Earth, Sirs," one of the Communications Officers said.
Purple groaned, but Red smiled. "Hey Nakay, you're a brain doctor, right?"
Nakay walked up beside Red. "Well, that's putting it in rather broad terms..."
"Well, try to figure this guy out!" Red challenged. "Invader Zim. Caused both Horribly Painful Overload Days, killed two Tallests, made Slark-only- knows-how-many explosions, came back from exile saying he'd quit, and is a general nutcase."
Nakay thought a second, and then nodded. "Show me."
"Put Zim on the main view screen!" Red commanded.
Zim's face flickered into view. "Greetings, my Tallest! I'd like to inform you that I'm doing alright--"
"Well, if you were dead you wouldn't be calling us," Purple muttered.
"--and I believe this planet's in some kind of time warp," Zim said.
Purple's antenna lifted. The scholarly side of him loved anything involving the fourth dimension. Red didn't get that at all. What was so fascinating about time? "What makes you say that?" Purple asked.
Zim's own antenna lifted, and his eyes glowed with pride. He'd actually caught one of the Tallests' attention! "A day repeated itself, and the humans didn't even realize it. Also, some of the events changed. Some preliminary research I've done suggests it might have been from a strange chemical that fell from the sky the day before, a chemical the Earth-beasts refer to alternately as 'water' and 'rain.' But they have no recollection of the loop. Perhaps it is because they absorbed more of this water/rain than I did."
Purple nodded. "I see... fascinating..." He cleared his throat. "Good job, Zim. I expect you will do more research on this loop?"
Zim's eyes brightened even more, and he saluted enthusiastically. "Yes sir, my Tallests! Invader Zim, signing off!" The screen went dark.
Red turned to Nakay. "Well?"
Nakay thought for a moment. "Zim seemed very pleased with Purple's praise-- "
"We're not on a first-name basis yet, Nurse Nakay!" Purple interjected.
"Sorry. He was pleased with Tallest Purple's praise, and even though most Irkens should be happy with honor from either of you, Zim seemed moreso than usual. Maybe he suffers from low self-esteem?"
"Humph!" Purple said. "He certainly doesn't show it!"
"Well, most people with such a problem don't. But he seems a better actor than most. I think he has a good friend or something giving him an ego- boost, keeping him from getting too caught up in his problem. That is, assuming I'm right."
Red nodded. "Anything else you noticed?"
"Well, Zim seems pretty dedicated. And he's a hard worker. If he's done what you've said he's done, though, maybe he's a bit obsessive with his work. When's the last time that guy's got a vacation?"
Red and Purple looked at each other. "Well, Irkens in the military are offered a month long break every couple of years, but Zim's always skipped over his to keep working."
"Yes. He's definitely obsessive. But, the one thing I saw that I think is the most interesting is that Zim needs sleep."
Red and Purple's eyes widened. "He sleeps?" Red repeated. "Irkens haven't needed sleep since we began wearing out ID Paks!"
Nakay nodded. "I know. Which is why this is so interesting. Most species that sleep do so because they need to rest their minds after their bodies and minds are worn out. While they sleep, their body gets to relax and their mind gets to subconsciously sort through the day's problems. Well, ID Paks are programmed so they can solve a given amount of their host Irken's mental struggles without interfering with daily activities, and Irken bodies have been bred to fatigue very slowly. Sitting down for a few seconds would be enough to restore an Irken's physical energy.
"I don't think Zim sleeps because he's physically tired. When he saluted, he did so with such energy that he couldn't possibly be fatigued. But ID Paks are still just machines, and they can only calculate through problems so fast. I think that if Zim needs sleep, it's because the ID Pak can't calculate enough to settle his mind. He needs to use his biological brain to help sort through these problems, and he can't do that if he's awake. He's got some sort of mental stress, I think."
Purple whistled. "She got those brains from her uncle!"
Red ignored Purple's comment. "So, how did you figure out Zim sleeps?"
"In the corner of his eyes were dried tears. In this case, that doesn't mean he was crying, it means they just sat there long enough to dry, which could only have happened if he had his eyes closed for several hours. Which would mean he was asleep. If he'd rubbed his eyes recently and got the tears out, I probably wouldn't have figured it out."
"Yet another one of the eye's many uses," Red commented.
Purple shook his head. "I don't understand how you can get into all this mental stuff. It's all pretty boring to me."
Red glared at Purple. "Yeah, well, how can you get into that time stuff? Huh?"
"So, Red it the psychologist and Purple the chronologist?" Nakay said. "Makes sense."
Both Tallests turned to look at her and said, "How so?"
And so, Nakay ended up going into a long-winded explanation of how Red's love of lazers and Purple's of smoke machines connects to their love of psychology and chronology.
Red and Purple blinked, flabbergasted. "She gets her brains from me, but she learned to ramble from you," Purple said. Red whacked him.
***
Zim dragged himself into his base, barely able to get the door closed behind him before he collapsed on the floor.
"Bad day, huh?" Zim looked up and saw Mur sitting on the couch, watching the Scary Monkey Show with Gir.
"I didn't see you when I came in," Zim said. Mur shrugged. "I was here the whole time."
Zim managed, with his spider legs, to drag himself up onto the couch. "Dib is REALLY annoying."
Mur glanced at Zim. "Just annoying?"
"Well, yeah... why?"
Mur snorted. "He's trying to stop your mission, and has messed up countless plans. He's a jerk."
"Well, not really," Zim said hesitantly. He had learned long ago to be careful when arguing with Mur. "He has a good reason to try to stop me. He's protecting his planet! If I was on Irk and he was trying to take over, would I be a jerk to stop him?"
"Of course not!" Mur yelled. "The Irkens are superior. Irkens were BORN to rule all. You were destined to take over this planet. Should anyone get in your way? Well?"
Zim started to get angry at Mur. "NO! Of course not!"
"Well, then, why should Dib? The little stink-beast, water-balloon thrower, smelly, weak, stupid, crazy little brat! Does this planet deserve to live? So why does he defend it?"
Zim's anger slowly left Mur and began focusing on Earth, the humans, and Dib in particular. "No, it doesn't deserve to live. You're right. Dib deserves to DIE!"
Zim noticed Gir looking at him. "Eh? What?"
"You're doin' that thing again," Gir said plainly.
Zim blinked. "What thing?"
"The weird talky thing."
"What are you talking about??"
"Maybe he's talking about your weird talking-to-empty-space thing," a voice from behind Zim said. He whirled around. "DIB!" He felt the rage Mur had planted in him grow. "What the slark do YOU want?"
Dib almost made some comment about how Zim had slipped out the alien word "slark," but he had more pressing questions. "Who are you talking to, Zim? Your imaginary friend?"
Zim blinked. "Eh? No! I was talking to Mur!"
Dib nodded smugly. "Sure, deny it. Poor little Zimmy has an imaginary friend."
Zim looked at Mur. She was seething. "That bratty little..." she muttered.
"Stop acting stupid, Dib." Zim grabbed Mur's hand and waved it in Dib's face. "I know you can see her."
"Ha ha. Yeah right, Zim."
Now Zim was confused. "You can't see her? Really?" Dib shook his head.
"He must not be able to comprehend my beauty," Mur said coolly, trying not to appear as angry as she had earlier. Zim snickered at her comment.
Dib started to look nervous now. "Okay, Zim. Laughing at nothing is just creepy. You can stop. I get the picture, you want to creep me out. I'm leaving." Dib turned to go out the door.
"Wait!" Zim said. He jumped up off the couch and grabbed Dib's trench coat. "You really can't see her?"
Dib didn't turn around. "N-no. Just leave me alone. You're really starting to freak me out." He tried to shake Zim's hand off, but the alien only held on tighter. "Zim! Let go!"
Zim yanked Dib around so he could see the human's face. "Not until we get this whole mess straightened out," he hissed.
"Gir," Zim said. He could count on the robot, right? "Is there anyone in this room besides Dib and me?"
"Mmyep," Gir said. Zim started to relax. "There's me! There's you and me and Dib!"
Zim tensed up again. "Anyone else, Gir?"
Mur rolled her eyes. "I think he needs a little help." She waved her hand in front of Gir's face. "Hello Gir!"
Gir shook his head. "Nope. Just us three." Mur slowly stopped waving. "I guess he's just being his stupid self, huh?"
"Yeah," Zim said uneasily. "That must be it."
Dib shook off Zim's grip and grabbed the alien's shoulders. "Look, Zim, something's not right with you," Dib said in a low, quivering voice. "We need to get you help. You're coming with me." He clenched Zim's wrist and pulled him. "You're coming to my house! Gaz knows more about insanity and stuff than I do!"
"Insanity?!" Zim said loudly. "What are you talking about? YOU'RE the crazy one!"
"Shut up, Zim! You're confused!" Dib started running with Zim out of the base and down the street.
"Dib, wait! I don't have my disguise on!"
***
Dib shoved Zim onto his bed, then sat on his stomach so he couldn't get away. "Okay, alien, talk. Who's Mur?"
Zim remained silent. He started struggling against Dib's weight to get away.
"I see some persuasion is in order," Dib said. He licked his hand and pressed it against Zim's face. The Irken groaned in pain as the acid started working into his skin.
Gaz glanced into the room at the sound, and her eyes popped open. She saw her brother on top of Zim on a bed, holding his face. "I'll, um, just leave you two alone..." she stuttered, looking out the window and blushing.
"What's with you?" Dib said, then a realization dawned on him. He blushed too. "IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE! I'm interrogating Zim!"
Zim whacked Dib's hand. "Your stupid saliva on my face..." he muttered.
Gaz raised an eyebrow. "I rest my case," she said.
"NO! We're not doing anything!" Dib insisted.
"Yes we are," Zim said. Dib blushed mightily.
"That's now what I meant, Zim. Do you aliens know anything about 'the birds and the bees'?" Dib said.
"What do your stupid animals have to do with anything? I thought you were trying to prove to me that Mur isn't real. Which is a LIE!"
"See?" Dib said smugly.
"Okay, so what IS going on?" Gaz asked, crossing her arms.
"Zim's talking to himself!" Dib said. "He thinks there's some person named Mur and--" A realization hit Dib. "Wait... is Mur the person you were talking about when you thought it was Friday? And it was actually Thursday?"
Zim glanced away. "Yes... I can't help it if you're all crazy!"
"Usually, the simplest explanation is the correct one," Gaz said. "Do you think it's more likely that the whole world went crazy and forgot Thursday, and now no one can see Mur? Or, you imagined the Thursday and you're imagining Mur?"
Zim glared at Gaz. "You aren't a part of this conversation. You don't know what's going on."
"Yes I do," Gaz said. "I was in the cafeteria the day Dib saw you talking to yourself. He pointed it out to me before he yelled to the rest of the cafeteria, so I saw you talking to an empty seat."
"It... wasn't... EMPTY!" Zim insisted, and then started muttering. "I don't know why you humans think it is. Stupid, blind species, don't even know what day it is, Mur was right, I am destined to rule Earth..." Zim trailed off as he noticed Gaz was staring expectantly.
"Well?" Gaz prodded. "Say it!"
"Say what?" Zim asked.
"'My preciousssss,'" Gaz hissed, then went back to her normal voice. "It's obvious you were building up to that."
Dib rolled his eyes, and then looked at Zim again. "Okay, again. Who's Mur?"
Zim could tell he wasn't going anywhere until he spilled. "She's a friend I've had for a long time."
Gaz walked closer. "Your species, human, or neither?"
"Human."
"Why does that matter?" Dib asked.
Gaz ignored him. "Did you know her before you got to Earth?"
"Yes."
"Then how could you have imagined a human?"
Dib's eyebrows shot up. "Yeah..."
"I didn't IMAGINE her!" Zim repeated, still angry, but finally the stress made him crack. His narrowed eyes opened into a pleading look. "Please... believe me. Mur... she's real. I've known her over half of my life."
Gaz was merciless. "I'll be the judge of that. Just answer the questions. Where did you meet her?"
"I don't remember."
"When?"
"That, either."
"If she's your friend, why doesn't she tell you?"
"She just brushes my question off. It's not really an important one, anyway..."
"How did you talk to her? Did other Irkens see her?"
"No, I talked to her in..." Zim realized how stupid this would sound. No, not stupid. Crazy. "I talked to her in my sleep." Zim's eyelids drooped in defeat. "Maybe... just maybe you're right..."
"Like heck they are!"
Zim looked up. Mur was sitting at the very end of Dib's bed, arms crossed. "You're not crazy, THEY are! Other kids at school say Dib's crazy, and they're probably absolutely right! His sister's no better."
"Yeah..." Zim said. "They're the crazy ones..."
"Zim?" Dib said nervously. "You're talking to yourself again."
"No I'm not!" Zim said confidently. Here was Mur, sitting right where Zim could see her. Evidence that he was sane. "You two are the crazy ones. I'm just fine."
"You're crazy!" Gaz shouted. "I've reached my verdict. Crazy, insane, wacko, loopy, off yer rocker. You need help, Zim! Case closed, this court is adjourned, next trial, please!"
Zim withered under Gaz's words. "N-no, I can see Mur..."
"Yes you can! And that's all that matters!" Mur yelled. "You're sane! SANE! Just convince these imbeciles, and everything'll be fine, right? TELL THEM! Tell these meat-bags the ZIM way!"
Zim shook his head. Gaz had started talking again while Mur was still going, and now they were both blurring each other out with their yells. His head was starting to pound
"SHUT UUUUUP!!!!" Zim screamed, grabbing his antenna. Mur and Gaz closed their mouths, the latter's eyes widening as she took a step back. Mur seemed proud.
Zim shoved Dib off, and stood on top of the bed. "I can't think straight with the two of you yelling! How can either of you convince me of ANYTHING when you're having a shrieking contest?!"
"But Gaz was the only one--" Zim swung his leg up and kicked Dib hard in the jaw. "YOU SHUT UP TOO!"
Zim turned to Mur, who was still grinning. "You! Mur-stink! Wipe that smirk off of your face!" She only grinned wider.
"Sorry, Zimmy, but I just like seeing you acting strong for once. And I didn't even have to help you along!"
Zim growled. "Never... call... me... ZIMMY!" He lunged at Mur, but fell...
right...
through...
her.
He landed on the floor head first, sliding into the wall. Stunned, he slowly looked up at a poster that said, "Map of the Human Mug." He sat up and laboriously turned to look at the end of Dib's bed. Mur wasn't there.
"There... there was never anyone at the end of the bed, was there?" Dib and Gaz shook their heads.
Zim stood up shakily. He tried to form a rational. What had happened, here? It was hard... Mur always explained the things in his life he couldn't understand.
A soothing voice whispered from the back of his mind, telling him the best excuse it had. Zim believed it. "I-I guess Mur just isn't a normal human, h- huh?"
He fainted.
***
After all that, Zim STILL doesn't believe he's crazy! Well, he isn't exactly known for his ability to listen to other people, is he?
We are quickly approaching uncharted territory. Up to this point, I've been following a vague plot guide I wrote several months ago, that tell the basic events and divide the chapters. I wrote about half of the plot guide, because I didn't know where the story was going. Well, now I DO know where the story is going, but I don't have a plot guide for it, so it isn't very specific. Stinks, neh? I've got one more chapter before I run out of plot guide. After that... Welcome to the Louisiana Purchase, good luck making your own map!
So, I'll update soon. Kindly review, and if you feel lazy, feel free to use the cheat sheet in chapter 4.
~ckret2