Facing up to the Nightmare
All the way through her meal Electra couldn't concentrate all she could think about was what Severus had said to her; she knew he was right it was hard to be around him after what had happened to her, what Lucias did to her while prosing as him. She still had nightmares about the whole thing now that she remembered, and Sirius knew about it; because he would stay up with her while she just cried as he held her trying to make her feel safe again.
He had been so careful around her, not wanting to hurt her; they had even put off the whole baby idea. She pushed her plate away and led forward so that only he would hear her.
"Sirius, I'm going back to my room I've got a bit of a headache." Electra told him.
"Do you want me to come with you?" Sirius asked concerned about her.
"No, no that's alright...I'm just going to lay down for a bit." Electra told him.
She smiled at him, and he kissed her on the cheek as she got up; Remus looked up as well he knew that she hadn't been herself since the whole thing had happened but he still didn't know what had really happened. She couldn't tell him something like that, god it had been hard enough telling him that she was going out with Sirius.
"Is she...I mean you would tell me if there was anything wrong...wouldn't you Sirius?" Remus asked after she had gone.
Sirius turned round to face him but he couldn't look him in the eye. "Yeah course mate, I wouldn't keep anything from you; she is your sister after all."
"Yeah right." Remus said but he wasn't convinced.
Electra walked out of the Great Hall, once the doors closed behind her she just stopped then went down the stairs. She looked down to the dungeons and then at the entrance, she walked straight for the entrance and pushed open the heavy doors and went out. The cold air hit her face, but she didn't bother to pull the cloak up around her as she just walked.
After dinner, Remus and Sirius went up to their classroom with Harry and his friends. But he changed his mind when they reached the door.
"I'm going to check on Electra, I'll be back in a bit." Sirius told them.
"Can...can I come with you?" Harry asked.
Sirius looked over at him and smiled. "Course you can." And out his arm around his shoulder and they set off for their room.
"Sirius is Electra alright?" Harry asked after a while of silence.
"Why do you ask that?" Sirius asked.
"Well, I know considering everything what happened before Christmas...but she just seems really off some times." Harry said.
Sirius didn't answer at first, they just carried on walking in silence until the reached their corridor and Sirius stopped at the top of it.
"She's just getting over it...she will in time." Sirius said more to himself then to Harry because he needed to believe it himself as well.
Harry wasn't sure what to do, what was there for him to do part from to be there for him. They started to walk again in silence, Sirius pushed the door open and Harry walked in behind him.
"Electra it's only me and Harry, we've come to see how you are." Sirius shouted through, but there was no answer. "I'll go through, she might be asleep; sit down Harry."
Harry nodded and sat down while Sirius went through to the bed, he walked in and over to the bed; but it was empty. He ran back through making Harry look up wondering what was going on, and then the door opened and Electra walked in.
Sirius rushed over to her pulling his cloak off and wrapping it around her because she looked frozen.
"Electra, where the hell have you been?" Sirius demanded as he moved her over to a seat next to the fire, Harry moved over so that they could sit down. "Have you been out there all this time, like that?"
She looked up at him, her eyes were blood shot as though she had been crying; her cheeks even colder because she had. She just collapsed into his arms.
"I can't do it, I thought I could...but I just can't." Electra said into his chest. "I thought it would be alright to see him, it was at first kind of but...but I can't forget..."
Sirius held her tightly, he hated this what they had done to her. She had been so stronge, and now they had destroyed her; an dhe hated them for it.
"It's going to be alright I promise." Sirius told her, because he knew she needed to hear it.
She looked up at him. "No, no it isn't. I don't know what they gave me, or even if it was that...but I see him every time I close my eyes what he did to me...and you know it every time you look at me...he even marked me as his own property."
"What are you talking about?" Harry said sounding extremely worried.
"Nothing, maybe you should go." Sirius told him. "I'll come and see you later."
"No, I won't leave you two." Harry told him firmly.
Electra fell back into Sirius' arms crying, he looked from Harry to Electra's broken form in his arms.
"Harry get Snape for me please." Sirius said sounded defeated.
Harry just stared at him, and then at Electra; he didn't understand what Sirius had said or what was going on, but he knew that it was back what ever it was.
"Harry please, use the fireplace...tell him that I want to speak to him." Sirius told him.
"He won't come." Harry told him as he stood up and walked over.
"Tell him...tell him that I need his advice on something...for Electra...anything to get him here." Sirius said not looking him in the eye; they both knew that it was a lot for him to ask for his help.
Harry nodded; he looked at the two of them once more before he took a handful of Floo Powder and stepped in.
"Professor Snape's office!" Harry said, and then he was engulfed by green flames.
A moment later he stepped out, unlike normally falling out which he was glad out he didn't really want to land at Snape's feet and then ask for his help.
"Potter! What do you think your doing?" Severus demanded getting up from behind his desk.
"Professor...Sirius sent me." Harry said.
"Really, well tell Black that I don't care about anything he has to say." Severus told him. "I thought that you would have known that, or did you just want a reminder?"
Harry glared at him, then he remembered Electra; and tried his hardest to be calm.
"He sent me because of Electra; she doesn't seem to be well." Harry told him, he saw the change straight away in him.
"What's wrong with her?" Severus asked as he walked around from his desk.
Harry picked up on the real concern in his voice, surprising him even more; and then he surprised himself. "You like her...don't you...that's why Sirius knew you would help."
"What are you talking about Potter?" Severus said, trying to cover up but he was already blown.
"I don't care about these stupid grudges you have, help her if you can." Harry said.
Severus stared at him for a moment, not really looking at him not really looking at anything. He nodded slowly and Harry turned back round and they went back to their quarters.
They stepped out of the fire, Electra and Sirius was still sat there and she was still crying into his chest her shoulders shacking. Sirius looked up as they came out, and their eyes meet.
"Have you seen what they did too her, look at her...you bastard!" Sirius shot at him. "Their still torturing her even now...and there's nothing I can do."
Severus just looked at him; he couldn't look at Electra because he knew what they had; what he or Lucias had done to her. He hated himself because he was the one who felt dirty as though it had been him who had raped her, even though he would never do anything to hurt her; and now he was her worst nightmare.
"What do you want me to do?" Severus asked. "I can't take those memories away, if I could don't you think I would...or even you would have before now."
"It isn't that..." Sirius said as she started to cry heavier, and he held her tighter. "The potion or what ever, it made her forget right...so maybe you could make her forget now."
Severus sat down facing them as Harry just looked between the two of them, but neither of them were giving out information; so he walked back to his seat and sat down.
"You said that she didn't remember to start with?" Severus asked thoughtfully.
"Yeah, how else do you think he got away with it?" Sirius said as though he had just been asked a stupid question.
Severus glared at him as he started to think again. "There are only a few potions what can do that...but well...there is a spell as well that would go with the sympathies which she had as well..." He looked at Electra, but wouldn't look at Sirius, with what he just remembered.
"Severus...come on spit it out...tell me." Sirius demanded.
Severus slowly looked up at him. "He made her do it."
"What...what are you talking about?" Sirius demanded, not understanding what he had been told.
"He made her do it, it's a potion and spell combine." Severus explained. "The potion makes you weaker and sleepy, and forgetful. The spell is the control, you order the person to do what ever you want...and they can't fight it...its stronger the then any other mind control...he made her do it."
Severus stood up and walked over to the window and rested against it, but Sirius sat there shacking his head; while Harry was still confused at what was going on.
"I don't get it." Sirius said.
Severus spun around. "He told her to fuck him, so she did...if he would have told her to kill you she would have."
Electra tighten her grip on Sirius as he just went stiff, and Harry well he just stared at Severus who turned back around.
"No, no...she...no..." Sirius said, but Electra answered him by letting go of him completely and running out of the room and locking herself in the bedroom. "Oh god." He looked at Harry and then went over to the door and started to bang on it. "Please Electra, open the door...Electra!"
Severus slowly turned around and walked over to Harry. "We should go." Harry looked up at him, he could see that he was hurt and upset as well; he would be as well if he had just found out that someone had been prosing in his body and raped someone. He aloud himself to be led out by him leaving Sirius alone with Electra, he could see their dream crumbling around them.
The door shut with a slight click, then the bedroom door opened and Sirius fell in because he had been banging on it so hard. He looked up at her from the ground, he reached out to her but she turned away from him and walked over to the bed.
"Electra...please." Sirius whispered as he got up and walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed.
"What...what was I supposed to tell you...that I made the first move?" Electra shot at him as she turned round.
"But you didn't. Severus said that it wasn't your fault." Sirius told her.
"But...but that's just it...it feels as though...it is." Electra admitted. "I remember it all now, I didn't at first just parts...but now I remember it all...I didn't fight him off once...even when he was hurting me...I could see it all happening from afar but I couldn't do anything about it...I knew it was wrong...but I part of me didn't care..."
"Well...well erm Severus said that had to do with the potion." Sirius told her. "It wasn't your fault, please Electra." He reached out for her again, this time she didn't move away from him so he crawled across the bed to meet her and wrapped his arms around her; and whispered as she fell back into him. "It wasn't your fault."
(A/N:- What do you think? Hoped you like it, your lucky that you even got this tonight because I went to my aunts funnel today; well I just had to do something when I came back in I couldn't just sit around. So I did this, I think that's way its quite sad; but it still goes with the story line.
Thanks again to yaukira for your reviews, I know I've said it before but I am really glad that you like them; sorry that I can't come up with something different from that, maybe next chapter.
All the way through her meal Electra couldn't concentrate all she could think about was what Severus had said to her; she knew he was right it was hard to be around him after what had happened to her, what Lucias did to her while prosing as him. She still had nightmares about the whole thing now that she remembered, and Sirius knew about it; because he would stay up with her while she just cried as he held her trying to make her feel safe again.
He had been so careful around her, not wanting to hurt her; they had even put off the whole baby idea. She pushed her plate away and led forward so that only he would hear her.
"Sirius, I'm going back to my room I've got a bit of a headache." Electra told him.
"Do you want me to come with you?" Sirius asked concerned about her.
"No, no that's alright...I'm just going to lay down for a bit." Electra told him.
She smiled at him, and he kissed her on the cheek as she got up; Remus looked up as well he knew that she hadn't been herself since the whole thing had happened but he still didn't know what had really happened. She couldn't tell him something like that, god it had been hard enough telling him that she was going out with Sirius.
"Is she...I mean you would tell me if there was anything wrong...wouldn't you Sirius?" Remus asked after she had gone.
Sirius turned round to face him but he couldn't look him in the eye. "Yeah course mate, I wouldn't keep anything from you; she is your sister after all."
"Yeah right." Remus said but he wasn't convinced.
Electra walked out of the Great Hall, once the doors closed behind her she just stopped then went down the stairs. She looked down to the dungeons and then at the entrance, she walked straight for the entrance and pushed open the heavy doors and went out. The cold air hit her face, but she didn't bother to pull the cloak up around her as she just walked.
After dinner, Remus and Sirius went up to their classroom with Harry and his friends. But he changed his mind when they reached the door.
"I'm going to check on Electra, I'll be back in a bit." Sirius told them.
"Can...can I come with you?" Harry asked.
Sirius looked over at him and smiled. "Course you can." And out his arm around his shoulder and they set off for their room.
"Sirius is Electra alright?" Harry asked after a while of silence.
"Why do you ask that?" Sirius asked.
"Well, I know considering everything what happened before Christmas...but she just seems really off some times." Harry said.
Sirius didn't answer at first, they just carried on walking in silence until the reached their corridor and Sirius stopped at the top of it.
"She's just getting over it...she will in time." Sirius said more to himself then to Harry because he needed to believe it himself as well.
Harry wasn't sure what to do, what was there for him to do part from to be there for him. They started to walk again in silence, Sirius pushed the door open and Harry walked in behind him.
"Electra it's only me and Harry, we've come to see how you are." Sirius shouted through, but there was no answer. "I'll go through, she might be asleep; sit down Harry."
Harry nodded and sat down while Sirius went through to the bed, he walked in and over to the bed; but it was empty. He ran back through making Harry look up wondering what was going on, and then the door opened and Electra walked in.
Sirius rushed over to her pulling his cloak off and wrapping it around her because she looked frozen.
"Electra, where the hell have you been?" Sirius demanded as he moved her over to a seat next to the fire, Harry moved over so that they could sit down. "Have you been out there all this time, like that?"
She looked up at him, her eyes were blood shot as though she had been crying; her cheeks even colder because she had. She just collapsed into his arms.
"I can't do it, I thought I could...but I just can't." Electra said into his chest. "I thought it would be alright to see him, it was at first kind of but...but I can't forget..."
Sirius held her tightly, he hated this what they had done to her. She had been so stronge, and now they had destroyed her; an dhe hated them for it.
"It's going to be alright I promise." Sirius told her, because he knew she needed to hear it.
She looked up at him. "No, no it isn't. I don't know what they gave me, or even if it was that...but I see him every time I close my eyes what he did to me...and you know it every time you look at me...he even marked me as his own property."
"What are you talking about?" Harry said sounding extremely worried.
"Nothing, maybe you should go." Sirius told him. "I'll come and see you later."
"No, I won't leave you two." Harry told him firmly.
Electra fell back into Sirius' arms crying, he looked from Harry to Electra's broken form in his arms.
"Harry get Snape for me please." Sirius said sounded defeated.
Harry just stared at him, and then at Electra; he didn't understand what Sirius had said or what was going on, but he knew that it was back what ever it was.
"Harry please, use the fireplace...tell him that I want to speak to him." Sirius told him.
"He won't come." Harry told him as he stood up and walked over.
"Tell him...tell him that I need his advice on something...for Electra...anything to get him here." Sirius said not looking him in the eye; they both knew that it was a lot for him to ask for his help.
Harry nodded; he looked at the two of them once more before he took a handful of Floo Powder and stepped in.
"Professor Snape's office!" Harry said, and then he was engulfed by green flames.
A moment later he stepped out, unlike normally falling out which he was glad out he didn't really want to land at Snape's feet and then ask for his help.
"Potter! What do you think your doing?" Severus demanded getting up from behind his desk.
"Professor...Sirius sent me." Harry said.
"Really, well tell Black that I don't care about anything he has to say." Severus told him. "I thought that you would have known that, or did you just want a reminder?"
Harry glared at him, then he remembered Electra; and tried his hardest to be calm.
"He sent me because of Electra; she doesn't seem to be well." Harry told him, he saw the change straight away in him.
"What's wrong with her?" Severus asked as he walked around from his desk.
Harry picked up on the real concern in his voice, surprising him even more; and then he surprised himself. "You like her...don't you...that's why Sirius knew you would help."
"What are you talking about Potter?" Severus said, trying to cover up but he was already blown.
"I don't care about these stupid grudges you have, help her if you can." Harry said.
Severus stared at him for a moment, not really looking at him not really looking at anything. He nodded slowly and Harry turned back round and they went back to their quarters.
They stepped out of the fire, Electra and Sirius was still sat there and she was still crying into his chest her shoulders shacking. Sirius looked up as they came out, and their eyes meet.
"Have you seen what they did too her, look at her...you bastard!" Sirius shot at him. "Their still torturing her even now...and there's nothing I can do."
Severus just looked at him; he couldn't look at Electra because he knew what they had; what he or Lucias had done to her. He hated himself because he was the one who felt dirty as though it had been him who had raped her, even though he would never do anything to hurt her; and now he was her worst nightmare.
"What do you want me to do?" Severus asked. "I can't take those memories away, if I could don't you think I would...or even you would have before now."
"It isn't that..." Sirius said as she started to cry heavier, and he held her tighter. "The potion or what ever, it made her forget right...so maybe you could make her forget now."
Severus sat down facing them as Harry just looked between the two of them, but neither of them were giving out information; so he walked back to his seat and sat down.
"You said that she didn't remember to start with?" Severus asked thoughtfully.
"Yeah, how else do you think he got away with it?" Sirius said as though he had just been asked a stupid question.
Severus glared at him as he started to think again. "There are only a few potions what can do that...but well...there is a spell as well that would go with the sympathies which she had as well..." He looked at Electra, but wouldn't look at Sirius, with what he just remembered.
"Severus...come on spit it out...tell me." Sirius demanded.
Severus slowly looked up at him. "He made her do it."
"What...what are you talking about?" Sirius demanded, not understanding what he had been told.
"He made her do it, it's a potion and spell combine." Severus explained. "The potion makes you weaker and sleepy, and forgetful. The spell is the control, you order the person to do what ever you want...and they can't fight it...its stronger the then any other mind control...he made her do it."
Severus stood up and walked over to the window and rested against it, but Sirius sat there shacking his head; while Harry was still confused at what was going on.
"I don't get it." Sirius said.
Severus spun around. "He told her to fuck him, so she did...if he would have told her to kill you she would have."
Electra tighten her grip on Sirius as he just went stiff, and Harry well he just stared at Severus who turned back around.
"No, no...she...no..." Sirius said, but Electra answered him by letting go of him completely and running out of the room and locking herself in the bedroom. "Oh god." He looked at Harry and then went over to the door and started to bang on it. "Please Electra, open the door...Electra!"
Severus slowly turned around and walked over to Harry. "We should go." Harry looked up at him, he could see that he was hurt and upset as well; he would be as well if he had just found out that someone had been prosing in his body and raped someone. He aloud himself to be led out by him leaving Sirius alone with Electra, he could see their dream crumbling around them.
The door shut with a slight click, then the bedroom door opened and Sirius fell in because he had been banging on it so hard. He looked up at her from the ground, he reached out to her but she turned away from him and walked over to the bed.
"Electra...please." Sirius whispered as he got up and walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed.
"What...what was I supposed to tell you...that I made the first move?" Electra shot at him as she turned round.
"But you didn't. Severus said that it wasn't your fault." Sirius told her.
"But...but that's just it...it feels as though...it is." Electra admitted. "I remember it all now, I didn't at first just parts...but now I remember it all...I didn't fight him off once...even when he was hurting me...I could see it all happening from afar but I couldn't do anything about it...I knew it was wrong...but I part of me didn't care..."
"Well...well erm Severus said that had to do with the potion." Sirius told her. "It wasn't your fault, please Electra." He reached out for her again, this time she didn't move away from him so he crawled across the bed to meet her and wrapped his arms around her; and whispered as she fell back into him. "It wasn't your fault."
(A/N:- What do you think? Hoped you like it, your lucky that you even got this tonight because I went to my aunts funnel today; well I just had to do something when I came back in I couldn't just sit around. So I did this, I think that's way its quite sad; but it still goes with the story line.
Thanks again to yaukira for your reviews, I know I've said it before but I am really glad that you like them; sorry that I can't come up with something different from that, maybe next chapter.