Thank you so much athenakitty, angeL_1215, Barbara, sarou, alexgray, Meg,
Ms. Padfoot, Midnight-Kisses, Sela, Tenshi-Chikyuu and GoldenPheonix for
reviewing!
I'm so sorry that I took so long to update. I'll try to get the next chapter out a lot faster! And thank you Old Fawkes for encouraging me in your reviews for my other fic! It helped to keep me motivated!
Hold On
Chapter 3 - The Funeral
Severus awoke early the next morning feeling immensely hungry from not having much food the day before and yet feeling like he had no appetite at all. It was a very strange feeling indeed.
He wasn't looking forward to the day ahead of him at all. Not only was it going to be a very hard day for him, but he had to also look after a 5-year- old child to top it off. He had been given specific instructions to keep his eye on the boy. Obviously Sirius and Remus were in no condition to look after him. Severus doubted that even he was. The only difference was that Severus felt tears to be a sign of weakness, just pointless in the end. So he didn't let tears fall, he didn't cry and perhaps that made him seem stronger, perhaps more able to take care of the young boy?
Severus snorted. Like he would ever be able to take care of any child, let alone the one that was sleeping in that very house. Albus was clearly not in the right state of mind. The boy would need comfort and love, and they were very clearly two things that he was unable to provide him with.
Severus looked at the clock and knew he should start to get ready. Forgetting about eating altogether, he made his way back to his room and got dressed, finishing by putting on a long black robe over his clothes. He brushed his hair neatly and tied it back, but a few stray hairs made there way out. He looked at his reflection, slowly his eyes traveled down to what he was wearing. He briefly wondered how many times he had worn the black robes, the robes had been to many funerals, too many to count.
Once satisfied that he was ready, Severus made his way to Harry's room, only just realizing then that they didn't have anything that Harry could wear that would be suitable. He began to consider shrinking a pair of black robes as he made his way towards Harry's door.
Severus quietly entered his room and saw that Harry was already awake. He was sitting with his legs brought up to his chest, his arms wrapped around them and he looked ridiculously small on the large bed.
Next to him lay a set of black robes with a note on them. Severus walked over and picked up the note, reading it.
Trust Albus to think of everything, Severus thought as he placed the note into one of his many pockets and walked over to a drawer, taking out some clothes that Harry could wear under his robes.
Severus walked back over to Harry and placed the clothes neatly next to him, then looked at the boy carefully, wondering if he was truly ready for all this.
He reached out and took Harry's arm, noting that it was completely healed now. He unwrapped the bandage from around his arm and placed it beside Harry's bed.
"Put those on and I'll be back in a minute okay." Severus pointed to the clothes next to Harry, though not expecting much of a response from him. Once he saw Harry moving to grab the clothes he left.
He walked back out into the hallway and looked hesitantly at both Sirius' and Remus' doors.
Severus sucked in his breath and knocked lightly on the door closest to him, which happened to be Sirius', all the while thinking the same thing he had thought about one hundred times before. 'How did I get stuck babysitting three children?'
Severus pushed his depressing thoughts away and concentrated on what he was doing.
He opened the door and peeked in, but he couldn't see a thing because it was so dark, so he opened the door further and let the light behind him flicker through and into Sirius' room.
"Black?"
His only reply was a sleep filled groan.
"Black, get your backside out of bed now." Severus growled, he was in no mood to drag him.
"Snape?" Sirius' head shot up and he looked over to where he was standing.
"We are leaving soon so hurry up!" Severus snapped, crossing his arms over his chest.
Sirius seemed a bit confused at first, but then recognition shot through his face and let his head hit his pillow again and closed his eyes, mumbling something along the lines of "I'm not going..."
Severus glared at Sirius, willing him to get out of bed, but he didn't even move.
"Fine" Severus growled out before leaving and shutting the door loudly behind him, hoping that the noise it made would woke up Remus if he wasn't already up so he wouldn't have to go through it all twice.
Just as he was about to knock on Remus' door it was quickly opened from the other side and Remus stepped out, his hair at all different angles and his face and clothes all crinkled up, evidence that he had only just awoken.
"Sorry Severus, I won't be a second" Remus had a pair of clean clothes in his hands and he rushed past him, going in the direction of the bathroom.
"Lupin, get Black up after will you?"
Severus didn't wait for an answer but instead he headed back into Harry's room to see if he had even made a start yet.
Once back inside the room, Severus was surprised that Harry had made it as far as he had, the only problem he saw was that he was wearing the robes inside out, which he couldn't even begin to imagine how he had managed that.
He pulled the robe back over Harry and saw the extent of Harry's dressing abilities. His shoes were untied, his pants button was undone and from under his jacket that was half open he could see that he hadn't been able to do those buttons up either.
Severus again sighed and kneeled down in front of Harry. He fixed him up, ignoring Harry's watching eyes the entire time and finished with tying his shoes up.
"Dad was going to teach me how to do that, he promised he would..." Harry looked sadly into Severus' eyes and Severus immediately looked away. He still couldn't face those eyes, would he ever be able to?
"Well I'm sure Black or Lupin will teach you" Severus answered, not really sure what to say.
He looked at Harry's hair and frowned, not knowing if he could do anything with it.
He pattered it down but as soon as his hand left the hair was back to sticking every which way.
Severus glared at it before he just gave up.
He and Harry walked back out into the hallway and as they walked past Sirius' door they could hear yelling. Severus kept walking but it took him a few seconds to realize that Harry had stopped.
Severus turned around and saw Harry staring wide-eyed at the closed door.
"Come on Harry" Severus walked back to where Harry was standing and took hold of his arm, leading him into the kitchen.
He knew that Harry had had even less food then him the other day so he grabbed some pieces of bread and using his wand, turned them into toast. Putting butter and jam on them, he placed the plateful in front of Harry and watched as he picked at it, only eating small crumbs.
Severus sat down opposite him, staring intently at Harry.
"You need to eat more Harry"
Harry looked up at him and tilted his head slightly. "Why aren't you eating?"
Severus opened his mouth to reply a few times but didn't know how to answer the question. It was true, he hadn't eaten anything that day either, nor had he eaten much the previous day.
"Fine, how about for every piece of toast I eat, you eat one as well?"
Harry narrowed his eyes in thought.
"Every two pieces of toast you eat, I'll eat one." Harry repeated.
Severus glared at him for a few minutes, as though wanting him to back down, but finally agreed and set to eating his toast.
After finishing his first two pieces he watched to make sure Harry kept up his end of the bargain.
***
Harry wasn't stupid, he was sitting in front of a grown man who could probably eat ten times as much as he could. Besides, he had seen the way his father had eaten, and there was no way Harry would be able to eat the amount of toast that his father used to.
***
"Padfoot?" Remus slowly walked into Sirius' room after he had finished his shower and was dressed appropriately. He walked over to the window and pulled the curtains away to reveal the sun's gaze into the whole room.
"Moony go away"
"No" came Remus' short reply.
Sirius looked up and glared at Remus.
"I'm not going."
"Yes you are."
No I'm not!"
"YES YOU ARE!" Remus yelled, knowing how stubborn Sirius could be, but luckily he was worse.
"GET OUT!" Sirius was really angry now, not that he would do anything physical about it. Remus was after all, a werewolf.
"Don't make me ask you again Sirius" Remus took a menacing step forward.
"I'm not going an- Remus?! What are you doing?!" Sirius shouted as he was pulled by the foot and literally dragged out of bed, he winced as he hit the hard floor below him, feeling a bruise would come out of it.
"Oh yes you are Sirius. I will not have you just mope around here all day, so then you can regret not going to James and Lily's funeral later on. Now will you hurry up and get dressed or will I have to do it for you?"
Sirius was about to snap back when he realized Remus was being deadly serious. He looked away and then finally covered his face with his hands, tears rolling down his face.
"Moony, I can't do this..."
Remus felt his heart break for his friend, tears sprung to his own eyes but he held them back, knowing it was better for Sirius to not see him cry, at least not just then.
"Come on Padfoot, I know you can do this." Remus bent down and sat next to Sirius, leaning against the bed.
"You're all I've got left Remus..." Sirius sobbed.
"No I'm not, you got Harry, and it seems no matter what your or his opinion is, you seem to be stuck with Severus as well."
Sirius smiled a bit at that. "The slime ball..."
Remus smiled. "That's the Padfoot I know. Now come on, we will have to be leaving soon."
"Remus I-"
"Please Sirius, go for me. Please..." Remus begged, feeling that he wouldn't be able to handle going if Sirius wasn't there.
Sirius, whose throat felt suddenly obstructed just nodded.
"Thank you"
***
Severus was struggling on his fourth piece of toast, but he was determined to finish it since he had already started it. He felt that he had probably eaten too much too soon. Besides, there was only so much toast one could take in the morning.
But a couple of minutes later he had finished and Harry grabbed another piece of toast, looking at it like Severus felt, disgusted.
Slowly but surely Harry finished it, and just as he put the last bite in his mouth Sirius and Remus walked into the kitchen, all dressed and ready.
"So you decided to come after all Black?" Severus sneered at him and the sneer widened as he saw Remus holding Sirius back from attacking him. "Well aren't we in a mood today..."
"Severus" Remus said warningly.
Severus shrugged innocently at him and then slid the plate of toast towards them, whether the reason being to get the toast as far away from him as he could or just to get them to eat Harry didn't know.
Before they could say or do anything else though Dumbledore stuck his head through the fireplace to announce that they should be leaving soon, as the portkey would be ready to go shortly.
A few minutes later they were all grabbing hold of a shoe, being whisked away to where the funeral was being held. It was going to be held outside, it wasn't quite into the cold months yet but the cool air was enough to remind everyone that it was coming. Yet the sun was shining brightly, being the complete opposite to what everyone there was feeling.
Severus looked around and saw many people already there; he recognized many from Hogwarts, not only old students but their old professors were also there. Severus assumed the rest were either old work friends, or just people that knew them when they were in hiding. It was a depressing thought that Harry was the only connection of family for both of them, Lily's sister and her family were nowhere in sight.
He stood towards the back of the group, still being able to see everything, but not having to be noticed. He watched as Sirius and Remus stood at the front, Harry in-between them and Dumbledore was somewhere in the middle, comforting someone no doubt.
It seemed to just go on forever, waiting for it to start. More and more people were arriving by the second, and Severus felt a sigh of relief as everyone fell silent. Severus started to concentrate on what was starting to be said but a figure in the corner of his eye caught his attention.
Looking over he saw that it was a small boy running in the opposite direction of where they all currently were.
On closer inspection he thought it looked an awful lot like Harry, bringing his eyes back to the scene in front of him he looked over to Sirius and Remus, they looked beyond upset. Looking between them where Harry should have been, he saw that it was empty. Harry was nowhere in sight, but Sirius and Remus didn't even to seem to have noticed yet.
Silently cursing he looked around to see if anyone else had noticed, and Dumbledore seemed to have just noticed then as well, Severus just hoped he would go get him so he could continue to watch and listen to the funeral.
He felt his shoulders sag as he saw Dumbledore making his way over to him. Determined to look as though he hadn't noticed Harry missing and determined to look as though he was focused solely on what was being said, wishing that Dumbledore would perhaps leave him alone, he stared ahead.
He felt his body tense as Dumbledore placed his hand up on his shoulder.
"Severus..."
He knew that Dumbledore was aware of him knowing Harry was missing, so he dropped the confused act before he really had time to put it up.
"Why can't Black or Lupin-"
"Severus please..."
"Why? Because they are grieving? Then what in Merlin's name am I doing?" Severus snapped at Dumbledore, feeling resentment at just being thrown around, left to deal with the problems no one else wanted to deal with.
"I'm s-"
"Save it" Severus said shortly, he roughly shook Dumbledore's hand off his shoulder and got up, leaving in the same direction as he saw Harry running in.
It was bizarre. It was as if everyone was transfixed with the two coffins that currently held two of the most loved and extraordinary people. No one even spared him a look as he walked away. Not that many did normally, but it was still odd that not one person looked his way except of course Dumbledore, but not even one seemed to hear him and Dumbledore talking, and they hadn't made an effort to be quiet, well at least he hadn't.
But Severus was annoyed. He was annoyed at Lily and James for dying, he was annoyed at being placed with Sirius and Remus, he was annoyed at Harry for now becoming a burden for him and right now, he was very annoyed at Dumbledore for treating him the way he was. While they were all grieving, he was being a bloody house elf to them all. Again he supposed, it went to that strong thing. He was thought to be able to handle it all. But that didn't give them the right to just shove him off because they didn't want to leave.
By the time he found Harry just casually sitting down leaning on a tree he was seething with anger.
"What do you think you are doing?" Severus growled out hatefully at Harry, watching as he first jumped in fear, obviously he hadn't seen Severus coming, and then looked at him with shock as he saw Severus' face and evident anger.
"I don't want to go back...please don't make me-"
Severus was missing out on Lily's funeral because her spoiled little annoying boy would not stop mucking around?
"Get up!" Severus said barely above a whisper, but it had the right effect all the same.
Harry scrambled to his feet, having the strongest feeling of just wanting be back at home, his real home with his parents.
"Lily's dead, do you hear that? Your mother is dead and instead of being able to properly say goodbye to her, I'm here as you selfishly take that away from me." Severus growled at him, taking a step closer to Harry.
Harry looked away from him ad took in a sharp intake of breath, leaning against the tree to keep him from falling over; he slowly slid back down the tree until he reached the ground. He was looking more upset then when he had been before when he first sat down against the tree.
Severus took in deep breaths, rubbing his forehead and trying to stop a headache from taking over. He sat down next to Harry and sighed tiredly as he saw the boy visibly flinch.
They sat in silence for a while, letting the cold air hit their exposed faces.
"Look, what I said was... was uncalled for. I'm sorry" It hurt Severus to say it, especially since it was to a child, a Potter no less. But he swallowed his pride and did it.
Harry looked up at him and slowly nodded his head, but the sadness never left his eyes.
"How about we head back now Harry?" Severus started to get up, they had been gone for a while now and he assumed that they could get the end of the ceremony if they left now.
"She talked about you" Harry said quietly, not moving to get up.
Severus stopped mid way and stared back at Harry. He didn't need to ask who 'she' was, he knew that Harry was talking about Lily.
"What... what did she say?" Severus sat fully down again, suddenly wanting, no needing to hear this.
"She missed you, said that when this was all over and we could go back to normal, that you would teach me about potions?" Harry watched as a storm of emotions crossed over Severus' face.
Severus looked away from Harry and instead focused ahead of him, he was silent for a good ten minutes and Harry was sure he wasn't going to say anything, but soon after Severus did speak.
"Yes, after she helped me pass charms, I promised to help her with potions. But your mother was very smart. She was doing fine in Potions, and since it was my best subject she made me promise that I would help her first child with it, teach them what I knew. I think she already had you planned from her 6th year." Severus smiled as he thought about the memory he had long forgotten.
"I miss her so much-" Harry said but he stopped as he chocked up and instead looked down at the ground, picking at the grass below.
"So do I..." And though it was said silently, so quietly that you could mistake it for the wind that was blowing past them, Harry still heard it.
"Come on Harry, they are going to start to wonder where we have gotten to."
Severus stood up and then put his hand out to help Harry up.
They both walked back to where the funeral was only to find it empty, well almost empty. Dumbledore, Sirius and Remus were still there. Upon closer inspection tears could be spotted on all of their faces.
"Is everything alright?" Dumbledore asked, though not receiving any answer except the slight nod of Severus' head.
"Right, then I'll be by later to discuss yesterdays discovery, but until then." Dumbledore nodded at them all and then apparated, presumably to Hogsmeade.
They all stood looking at where James and Lily Potter's bodies had just been laid to rest, none of them really wanting to leave.
Harry stepped closer to Sirius and he placed his hand on Harry's head, lightly patting his hair down.
They all stood in silence until it started to get too cold to be able to continue standing outside.
They all reluctantly took a portkey back home.
I'm so sorry that I took so long to update. I'll try to get the next chapter out a lot faster! And thank you Old Fawkes for encouraging me in your reviews for my other fic! It helped to keep me motivated!
Hold On
Chapter 3 - The Funeral
Severus awoke early the next morning feeling immensely hungry from not having much food the day before and yet feeling like he had no appetite at all. It was a very strange feeling indeed.
He wasn't looking forward to the day ahead of him at all. Not only was it going to be a very hard day for him, but he had to also look after a 5-year- old child to top it off. He had been given specific instructions to keep his eye on the boy. Obviously Sirius and Remus were in no condition to look after him. Severus doubted that even he was. The only difference was that Severus felt tears to be a sign of weakness, just pointless in the end. So he didn't let tears fall, he didn't cry and perhaps that made him seem stronger, perhaps more able to take care of the young boy?
Severus snorted. Like he would ever be able to take care of any child, let alone the one that was sleeping in that very house. Albus was clearly not in the right state of mind. The boy would need comfort and love, and they were very clearly two things that he was unable to provide him with.
Severus looked at the clock and knew he should start to get ready. Forgetting about eating altogether, he made his way back to his room and got dressed, finishing by putting on a long black robe over his clothes. He brushed his hair neatly and tied it back, but a few stray hairs made there way out. He looked at his reflection, slowly his eyes traveled down to what he was wearing. He briefly wondered how many times he had worn the black robes, the robes had been to many funerals, too many to count.
Once satisfied that he was ready, Severus made his way to Harry's room, only just realizing then that they didn't have anything that Harry could wear that would be suitable. He began to consider shrinking a pair of black robes as he made his way towards Harry's door.
Severus quietly entered his room and saw that Harry was already awake. He was sitting with his legs brought up to his chest, his arms wrapped around them and he looked ridiculously small on the large bed.
Next to him lay a set of black robes with a note on them. Severus walked over and picked up the note, reading it.
Trust Albus to think of everything, Severus thought as he placed the note into one of his many pockets and walked over to a drawer, taking out some clothes that Harry could wear under his robes.
Severus walked back over to Harry and placed the clothes neatly next to him, then looked at the boy carefully, wondering if he was truly ready for all this.
He reached out and took Harry's arm, noting that it was completely healed now. He unwrapped the bandage from around his arm and placed it beside Harry's bed.
"Put those on and I'll be back in a minute okay." Severus pointed to the clothes next to Harry, though not expecting much of a response from him. Once he saw Harry moving to grab the clothes he left.
He walked back out into the hallway and looked hesitantly at both Sirius' and Remus' doors.
Severus sucked in his breath and knocked lightly on the door closest to him, which happened to be Sirius', all the while thinking the same thing he had thought about one hundred times before. 'How did I get stuck babysitting three children?'
Severus pushed his depressing thoughts away and concentrated on what he was doing.
He opened the door and peeked in, but he couldn't see a thing because it was so dark, so he opened the door further and let the light behind him flicker through and into Sirius' room.
"Black?"
His only reply was a sleep filled groan.
"Black, get your backside out of bed now." Severus growled, he was in no mood to drag him.
"Snape?" Sirius' head shot up and he looked over to where he was standing.
"We are leaving soon so hurry up!" Severus snapped, crossing his arms over his chest.
Sirius seemed a bit confused at first, but then recognition shot through his face and let his head hit his pillow again and closed his eyes, mumbling something along the lines of "I'm not going..."
Severus glared at Sirius, willing him to get out of bed, but he didn't even move.
"Fine" Severus growled out before leaving and shutting the door loudly behind him, hoping that the noise it made would woke up Remus if he wasn't already up so he wouldn't have to go through it all twice.
Just as he was about to knock on Remus' door it was quickly opened from the other side and Remus stepped out, his hair at all different angles and his face and clothes all crinkled up, evidence that he had only just awoken.
"Sorry Severus, I won't be a second" Remus had a pair of clean clothes in his hands and he rushed past him, going in the direction of the bathroom.
"Lupin, get Black up after will you?"
Severus didn't wait for an answer but instead he headed back into Harry's room to see if he had even made a start yet.
Once back inside the room, Severus was surprised that Harry had made it as far as he had, the only problem he saw was that he was wearing the robes inside out, which he couldn't even begin to imagine how he had managed that.
He pulled the robe back over Harry and saw the extent of Harry's dressing abilities. His shoes were untied, his pants button was undone and from under his jacket that was half open he could see that he hadn't been able to do those buttons up either.
Severus again sighed and kneeled down in front of Harry. He fixed him up, ignoring Harry's watching eyes the entire time and finished with tying his shoes up.
"Dad was going to teach me how to do that, he promised he would..." Harry looked sadly into Severus' eyes and Severus immediately looked away. He still couldn't face those eyes, would he ever be able to?
"Well I'm sure Black or Lupin will teach you" Severus answered, not really sure what to say.
He looked at Harry's hair and frowned, not knowing if he could do anything with it.
He pattered it down but as soon as his hand left the hair was back to sticking every which way.
Severus glared at it before he just gave up.
He and Harry walked back out into the hallway and as they walked past Sirius' door they could hear yelling. Severus kept walking but it took him a few seconds to realize that Harry had stopped.
Severus turned around and saw Harry staring wide-eyed at the closed door.
"Come on Harry" Severus walked back to where Harry was standing and took hold of his arm, leading him into the kitchen.
He knew that Harry had had even less food then him the other day so he grabbed some pieces of bread and using his wand, turned them into toast. Putting butter and jam on them, he placed the plateful in front of Harry and watched as he picked at it, only eating small crumbs.
Severus sat down opposite him, staring intently at Harry.
"You need to eat more Harry"
Harry looked up at him and tilted his head slightly. "Why aren't you eating?"
Severus opened his mouth to reply a few times but didn't know how to answer the question. It was true, he hadn't eaten anything that day either, nor had he eaten much the previous day.
"Fine, how about for every piece of toast I eat, you eat one as well?"
Harry narrowed his eyes in thought.
"Every two pieces of toast you eat, I'll eat one." Harry repeated.
Severus glared at him for a few minutes, as though wanting him to back down, but finally agreed and set to eating his toast.
After finishing his first two pieces he watched to make sure Harry kept up his end of the bargain.
***
Harry wasn't stupid, he was sitting in front of a grown man who could probably eat ten times as much as he could. Besides, he had seen the way his father had eaten, and there was no way Harry would be able to eat the amount of toast that his father used to.
***
"Padfoot?" Remus slowly walked into Sirius' room after he had finished his shower and was dressed appropriately. He walked over to the window and pulled the curtains away to reveal the sun's gaze into the whole room.
"Moony go away"
"No" came Remus' short reply.
Sirius looked up and glared at Remus.
"I'm not going."
"Yes you are."
No I'm not!"
"YES YOU ARE!" Remus yelled, knowing how stubborn Sirius could be, but luckily he was worse.
"GET OUT!" Sirius was really angry now, not that he would do anything physical about it. Remus was after all, a werewolf.
"Don't make me ask you again Sirius" Remus took a menacing step forward.
"I'm not going an- Remus?! What are you doing?!" Sirius shouted as he was pulled by the foot and literally dragged out of bed, he winced as he hit the hard floor below him, feeling a bruise would come out of it.
"Oh yes you are Sirius. I will not have you just mope around here all day, so then you can regret not going to James and Lily's funeral later on. Now will you hurry up and get dressed or will I have to do it for you?"
Sirius was about to snap back when he realized Remus was being deadly serious. He looked away and then finally covered his face with his hands, tears rolling down his face.
"Moony, I can't do this..."
Remus felt his heart break for his friend, tears sprung to his own eyes but he held them back, knowing it was better for Sirius to not see him cry, at least not just then.
"Come on Padfoot, I know you can do this." Remus bent down and sat next to Sirius, leaning against the bed.
"You're all I've got left Remus..." Sirius sobbed.
"No I'm not, you got Harry, and it seems no matter what your or his opinion is, you seem to be stuck with Severus as well."
Sirius smiled a bit at that. "The slime ball..."
Remus smiled. "That's the Padfoot I know. Now come on, we will have to be leaving soon."
"Remus I-"
"Please Sirius, go for me. Please..." Remus begged, feeling that he wouldn't be able to handle going if Sirius wasn't there.
Sirius, whose throat felt suddenly obstructed just nodded.
"Thank you"
***
Severus was struggling on his fourth piece of toast, but he was determined to finish it since he had already started it. He felt that he had probably eaten too much too soon. Besides, there was only so much toast one could take in the morning.
But a couple of minutes later he had finished and Harry grabbed another piece of toast, looking at it like Severus felt, disgusted.
Slowly but surely Harry finished it, and just as he put the last bite in his mouth Sirius and Remus walked into the kitchen, all dressed and ready.
"So you decided to come after all Black?" Severus sneered at him and the sneer widened as he saw Remus holding Sirius back from attacking him. "Well aren't we in a mood today..."
"Severus" Remus said warningly.
Severus shrugged innocently at him and then slid the plate of toast towards them, whether the reason being to get the toast as far away from him as he could or just to get them to eat Harry didn't know.
Before they could say or do anything else though Dumbledore stuck his head through the fireplace to announce that they should be leaving soon, as the portkey would be ready to go shortly.
A few minutes later they were all grabbing hold of a shoe, being whisked away to where the funeral was being held. It was going to be held outside, it wasn't quite into the cold months yet but the cool air was enough to remind everyone that it was coming. Yet the sun was shining brightly, being the complete opposite to what everyone there was feeling.
Severus looked around and saw many people already there; he recognized many from Hogwarts, not only old students but their old professors were also there. Severus assumed the rest were either old work friends, or just people that knew them when they were in hiding. It was a depressing thought that Harry was the only connection of family for both of them, Lily's sister and her family were nowhere in sight.
He stood towards the back of the group, still being able to see everything, but not having to be noticed. He watched as Sirius and Remus stood at the front, Harry in-between them and Dumbledore was somewhere in the middle, comforting someone no doubt.
It seemed to just go on forever, waiting for it to start. More and more people were arriving by the second, and Severus felt a sigh of relief as everyone fell silent. Severus started to concentrate on what was starting to be said but a figure in the corner of his eye caught his attention.
Looking over he saw that it was a small boy running in the opposite direction of where they all currently were.
On closer inspection he thought it looked an awful lot like Harry, bringing his eyes back to the scene in front of him he looked over to Sirius and Remus, they looked beyond upset. Looking between them where Harry should have been, he saw that it was empty. Harry was nowhere in sight, but Sirius and Remus didn't even to seem to have noticed yet.
Silently cursing he looked around to see if anyone else had noticed, and Dumbledore seemed to have just noticed then as well, Severus just hoped he would go get him so he could continue to watch and listen to the funeral.
He felt his shoulders sag as he saw Dumbledore making his way over to him. Determined to look as though he hadn't noticed Harry missing and determined to look as though he was focused solely on what was being said, wishing that Dumbledore would perhaps leave him alone, he stared ahead.
He felt his body tense as Dumbledore placed his hand up on his shoulder.
"Severus..."
He knew that Dumbledore was aware of him knowing Harry was missing, so he dropped the confused act before he really had time to put it up.
"Why can't Black or Lupin-"
"Severus please..."
"Why? Because they are grieving? Then what in Merlin's name am I doing?" Severus snapped at Dumbledore, feeling resentment at just being thrown around, left to deal with the problems no one else wanted to deal with.
"I'm s-"
"Save it" Severus said shortly, he roughly shook Dumbledore's hand off his shoulder and got up, leaving in the same direction as he saw Harry running in.
It was bizarre. It was as if everyone was transfixed with the two coffins that currently held two of the most loved and extraordinary people. No one even spared him a look as he walked away. Not that many did normally, but it was still odd that not one person looked his way except of course Dumbledore, but not even one seemed to hear him and Dumbledore talking, and they hadn't made an effort to be quiet, well at least he hadn't.
But Severus was annoyed. He was annoyed at Lily and James for dying, he was annoyed at being placed with Sirius and Remus, he was annoyed at Harry for now becoming a burden for him and right now, he was very annoyed at Dumbledore for treating him the way he was. While they were all grieving, he was being a bloody house elf to them all. Again he supposed, it went to that strong thing. He was thought to be able to handle it all. But that didn't give them the right to just shove him off because they didn't want to leave.
By the time he found Harry just casually sitting down leaning on a tree he was seething with anger.
"What do you think you are doing?" Severus growled out hatefully at Harry, watching as he first jumped in fear, obviously he hadn't seen Severus coming, and then looked at him with shock as he saw Severus' face and evident anger.
"I don't want to go back...please don't make me-"
Severus was missing out on Lily's funeral because her spoiled little annoying boy would not stop mucking around?
"Get up!" Severus said barely above a whisper, but it had the right effect all the same.
Harry scrambled to his feet, having the strongest feeling of just wanting be back at home, his real home with his parents.
"Lily's dead, do you hear that? Your mother is dead and instead of being able to properly say goodbye to her, I'm here as you selfishly take that away from me." Severus growled at him, taking a step closer to Harry.
Harry looked away from him ad took in a sharp intake of breath, leaning against the tree to keep him from falling over; he slowly slid back down the tree until he reached the ground. He was looking more upset then when he had been before when he first sat down against the tree.
Severus took in deep breaths, rubbing his forehead and trying to stop a headache from taking over. He sat down next to Harry and sighed tiredly as he saw the boy visibly flinch.
They sat in silence for a while, letting the cold air hit their exposed faces.
"Look, what I said was... was uncalled for. I'm sorry" It hurt Severus to say it, especially since it was to a child, a Potter no less. But he swallowed his pride and did it.
Harry looked up at him and slowly nodded his head, but the sadness never left his eyes.
"How about we head back now Harry?" Severus started to get up, they had been gone for a while now and he assumed that they could get the end of the ceremony if they left now.
"She talked about you" Harry said quietly, not moving to get up.
Severus stopped mid way and stared back at Harry. He didn't need to ask who 'she' was, he knew that Harry was talking about Lily.
"What... what did she say?" Severus sat fully down again, suddenly wanting, no needing to hear this.
"She missed you, said that when this was all over and we could go back to normal, that you would teach me about potions?" Harry watched as a storm of emotions crossed over Severus' face.
Severus looked away from Harry and instead focused ahead of him, he was silent for a good ten minutes and Harry was sure he wasn't going to say anything, but soon after Severus did speak.
"Yes, after she helped me pass charms, I promised to help her with potions. But your mother was very smart. She was doing fine in Potions, and since it was my best subject she made me promise that I would help her first child with it, teach them what I knew. I think she already had you planned from her 6th year." Severus smiled as he thought about the memory he had long forgotten.
"I miss her so much-" Harry said but he stopped as he chocked up and instead looked down at the ground, picking at the grass below.
"So do I..." And though it was said silently, so quietly that you could mistake it for the wind that was blowing past them, Harry still heard it.
"Come on Harry, they are going to start to wonder where we have gotten to."
Severus stood up and then put his hand out to help Harry up.
They both walked back to where the funeral was only to find it empty, well almost empty. Dumbledore, Sirius and Remus were still there. Upon closer inspection tears could be spotted on all of their faces.
"Is everything alright?" Dumbledore asked, though not receiving any answer except the slight nod of Severus' head.
"Right, then I'll be by later to discuss yesterdays discovery, but until then." Dumbledore nodded at them all and then apparated, presumably to Hogsmeade.
They all stood looking at where James and Lily Potter's bodies had just been laid to rest, none of them really wanting to leave.
Harry stepped closer to Sirius and he placed his hand on Harry's head, lightly patting his hair down.
They all stood in silence until it started to get too cold to be able to continue standing outside.
They all reluctantly took a portkey back home.