No... I'm not dead :)
~*~As Told By Padfoot~*~
Let me start off by saying...SLYTHERIN BITES. So me, Jamsie, and Moony were walking to the Great Hall, right? We were casually talking about how Snivellus's hair seemed to change from greasy and black to fluffy and pink overnight...what?! Stop looking at me like that! I didn't do it! I swear! *cries* Right...*clears throat*
Anyways, we walk into the Great Hall, only to be bombarded with laughter. My eyes widened with horror, and my jaw touched the floor. Across the back wall of the room, there was a huge banner, and I'd rather not say what was on it...
A while ago, I stayed at Prong's house for Halloween. Well, me (being the hilarious guy that I am), decided to dress a little...meager, that year. Yep, end of October, I'm running around with a Speedo, scarf, and a pair of socks. (Seriously, don't ask)
You guessed it. Smack-dab-in-the-middle of the Great Hall is a picture of me in my two-sizes-too-small bright orange bikini. Needless to say, everyone had a great laugh, but me of course. I think even Professor Dumbledore was amused; at least he had the decency to take down the picture. *hugs*
So yes, Slytherin bites. (Hey, that's sort of a pun if you think about it, huh?)
"PADFOOT, I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!"
Gulp, what'd I do now???
"PADFOOT, I SWEAR..."
I guess I should go see what he wants.
"PADFOO-"
"Jamsie, stop yelling, you're going to deafen me!"
"Sirius, I don't know what you were thinking, but this is definitely NOT funny."
"..? What are you ranting about?"
"You know damn good and well what I'm yelling about!" At this point he held up a scroll of parchment.
"A piece of parchment...? What's wrong with it?"
"Sirius, this is the essay for Binn's! THE essay!"
"And...?"
He unrolled it and threw it at me. All over it, in little hearts, were the words "I love you; Be mine; SB & JP 4EVER!; etc. I couldn't help but laugh. I guess he took that as a confession.
"Padfoot, I've been working on this for THREE weeks!"
"Well, no offense James, but it doesn't look like much...Oh, sure, the hearts are neat, but-" He actually smacked me! Hmf. Meany!
"James! Honestly!"
"Shove it Sirius, I don't want to hear it." He stalked out of the room, leaving me gaping after him; why do people always look at me when something happens??
I followed him, of course. "James!"
"What do you want? And WHY are you following me?"
"I'm not following you! I just happen to be traveling in the same direction as you, at the same speed, and at the same time."
I knew he was trying not to grin...can't stay mad at me! I mean, could you? *adorable look*
"Padfoot, I'm still mad at you."
"Lies!"
"Um...ok...how about no. Now stop following me, or I'll hex you."
"James, hold on a sec, please?" He stopped walking, and turned around to look at me.
"Ok, talk."
"I didn't do it."
"Uh huh...I'm sure you didn't..."
"James! Would I really do something like that to you bestest buddy?" He rolled his eyes.
"Yes, actually, I think you would..."
"But that's not the point!" He raised his eyebrow at me; some freaky talent he picked up from Lily that he knows gives me the shivers. "I really didn't do it; I swear!"
"If you say so..."
"You don't believe me."
"Not in the slightest."
"Prongs, you gotta believe me. I'll bet you anything it was Snivellus."
James sighed. He thought for a second. "Alright Siri; I believe you. But..." he grinned his evil grin. "You know, this means war."
"On me?!! I didn't do it!"
He rolled his eyes again. "On Snape, you twit!"
^.-
"Good morning, milady," I said as I slid in the seat next to Lils. She rolled her eyes at me. Gah, why do people keep doing that?? "How are you this fine day?"
"Ok Sirius, what do you want?"
"What? Just because I'm being polite and nice all of a sudden you just assume that I want something?"
"I'm not assuming; now, what do you want?"
"Fine fine, you caught me." She gave me a nastily triumphant grin. Bah. "I really need your help."
"With...?"
"Charms."
"Honestly Sirius...we've been in school for less then a month, and you're already failing Charms?"
"Who said anything about Charms class?" I smirked deviously; I think she knew I was up to no good.
"Oh no, I refuse to take part in any revenge against the Slytherins for writing all over James's essay in inerasable ink..." She gave me a mischievous smile. Wait a sec...Lils + mischievous in the same sentence? = baaaaaad.
"Alright Lils, spill. You did it, huh?"
"Me? Never! James's essay just happened to be sitting on a table in the common room, looking all lonely...there just happened to be an inkwell there...and can I really help it if my quill fell into the ink bottle, and just happened to roll onto his essay in the shape of little hearts?"
I laughed; she cracks me up sometimes. No wonder James is crazy for her; if he wasn't, I can't promise you that I wouldn't try to get her myself.
"But Siri?"
"Yeah Lils?"
"Don't tell James. I really do feel just awful; he looked really upset."
"I won't. Damn it Lils...that was too funny. Too bad he didn't hand it into Binns without looking at it, eh?"
She giggled. I grabbed a piece of toast and headed out onto the courtyard. I made my way to the Quidditch field; today was the first day of practice for the Gryffindor team. I was beater, James was seeker.
"Sirius! Over here!" James was waving like a madman. He was sitting on his new Nimbus, showing off to some sixth year Ravenclaws. I'll give em props; I've dated a few Ravenclaws, and I have to say, those are some fine looking gals.
I ran to the broom shed, grabbed my Nimbus 1500, and raced back to James. It felt good to be flying again; I forgot how much I missed it (my mum never let me practice Quidditch at home; she was afraid what the neighbors would think; and I could never practice at James's house, he lived too close to Muggles.)
"Hiya dolls," I said with a wink. The tallest one, who had jet black hair and ice blue eyes, blushed a deep shade of pink.
"Nice...bathing...suit!" she managed to say in between fits of giggles. I stared at her in horror; eep!
"Why...er...thank you." Smooth. Real smooth Padfoot.
"Alright team, form a line, over here, chop chop!" James called to his teammates behind him.
"Well girlies, I'm off, see you later?" James said slyly to the Ravenclaws. They giggled some more, and waved to James as he rode off, giving them a small salute as he went.
"You know James, you're already borderline with Lily as it is..."
He groaned. "Don't remind me."
^.-
"You can stop laughing now, you know," James said to me, scowling as we walked back to the common room.
"No, I can't! Hahahaha...that was waaaay too funny Prongs!"
"Funny? Funny? You think me falling fifteen feet through the air off my broom, after crashing into a wall trying to catch a snitch I hallucinated (I swear, I had nothing to do with this! *shifty eyes*), and landing on top of Vanessa, who then fell off her broom, while I was still on her mind you, then landing on me in a puddle of mud, where after we rolled ten feet, with me landing on top of her, is funny?!!" I nodded, doubling over.
"Your face...was...priceless!"
"I hate you."
"More lies!"
"..."
"Anyways, I think you're just lucky Lils wasn't there. Isn't it about time you...you know...asked her out?"
"Soon Siri, soon. Sooner then you think."
I have a feeling he means tonight. We'll see.
^.-
HEYA! I'm sooooooo sorry for taking so long on updating this! :\ I've been really busy with school and stuff, so... yeah, lol
Well, hopefully I can start updating more frequently!
And please forgive me if I got any HP details wrong; it's been a few months since I read the books! So don't kill me please ;P