"You...
...Suffered Leukemia..."
It echoed in his mind. The words bounced around the walls of his head. He shivered as he stood still in silence.
"No!!" The woman recognized in an ivory trench coat rushed to the scene and finally came between the two of them. Her breaths panting and her long dark locks covered her face. She looked in dread at the two, Sakuragi and Rukawa.
At the sole of his shoes Sakuragi felt the ground trembling and tearing apart. What was said must not be true. He couldn't take Rukawa's words into his heart. Instead, he pushed it aside. Quivering, Hanamichi shook his redhead in disbelief. Flabbergasted, he laughed awkwardly as his brows scrunched up to the middle of his forehead. "Bullshit," he spat the words out from his pair of dry lips. "Fuck you, Kitsune... It's all bullshit, huh?" He cocked his head and placed a palm on his waist while the other remained in his trousers' pocket.
Rukawa sighed and ran his hands up his bangs, afraid to say another word and confused of what to do next. He shouldn't tell him, but what could he do? Sakuragi needs to know the truth. In the point of this scene there's no chance he would ever believe in what he had said. His pale face grew stern.
"Hanamichi..." The woman, who was partially a stranger to both of them clasped her hands and closed her eyes. At the sight of it Rukawa was somewhat nauseated. What was she thinking? Didn't she know that her presence could just make things worse?
Sakuragi only stared at her blankly. Nobody could guess about what was going on in his mind. The only thing he knew now is that she was the doctor that visited him back in Rukawa's house. His eyes then altered back to Rukawa's and gazed into his deeply.
A hand landed on Mifuyu's shoulder. It was Rukawa. She looked at him with confusion but Rukawa stayed still. His hands then pushed her forward a bit, causing her to stumble to the front. "Tell him," he said slowly.
"No!" She immediately retorted. Her eyes were wide as she threw back her glance at the raven-haired boy. Deep inside her heart she had no guts to speak directly to her son, particularly about the disease. "Kaede-kun..."
Perplexed at the sight of the scene Sakuragi couldn't take it anymore. His mind was bearing the truth that Rukawa had handed to him. He was trapped in the world of his own, blinded by confusion. "Just whatever," he said in a trembling voice. "Screw you..." He then quickly twisted his hips and made a run out of the sight into who knows where.
Just right after he left Rukawa slid both his hands into his pocket as the air grew heavier. He then started to walk away, but a hand caught his jacket. "Why did you tell?" Mifuyu's face was filled with worries, angst and disappointment at the same time. Rukawa's steps halted. Mifuyu slowly let go of his sweaters. "You know this is not the right time..."
"What? You want to wait for the time until he eventually died?" He snorted, sickened.
The lady in long tresses of wavy dark brown hair looked down at the pavement as people walked pass through the two of them. She bit her lips and then sighed. Both of her hands and her fingers crumpled into a fist, grabbing tight to her handbag. "No... but this is a bad timing... we should---"
"What? Wait another time? You know he doesn't have much time left..." True. What Rukawa said was true. Indeed, the son is suffering. Time will not wait for him. Seeing that Mifuyu gave no reply to him he decided to just walk and get away from her. But then he stopped and twisted his waist so that his face was facing her direction. "Tell me where Sakuragi lives..."
The door slammed close. Sakuragi ran all the way up the stairs and finally entered his room. He shut the door tight behind him and slid his back down to the floor. He was too taken aback he couldn't speak. His thoughts were all blurry and it seems like everything were going so fast. Beads of cold sweat gathered around his face and his neck, ready to roll down and wet his shirt.
This couldn't be... What the hell was Kitsune saying? Leukemia? Hell no.
No. No way. This is way too harsh. The scene and the words all played back in his mind. Then something stood out, the lady. The doctor? What was she doing in there? What brings her around? Sakuragi buried his head deep in his arms and tried to throw things aside.
Knock knock.
The redhead almost jumped when he heard the door behind his back knocking. It just pulled him out back to reality. He dared not to open; he just didn't want somebody walking into this right now. He wanted to be alone. "Get lost," he crawled to his bed and sat there alone.
Rukawa refused to leave. Instead he entered the room without waiting for further permission. Sakuragi somehow knew that it would be him therefore he didn't move his eyes an inch from the wooden floor. "What the hell are you doing here? Did you forget to mention that I also suffered bronchitis or maybe brain damage?" He snickered.
"I forget to tell..." Mifuyu, who was previously hiding behind Rukawa's broad shoulders slid to the front and approached the redhead. Just as she was a foot away from Sakuragi she knelt and tried to smile. "Hello, Hanamichi...."
"Doctor..." he greeted lazily in a whispery voice.
Mifuyu placed a hand upon Sakuragi's and tried to look at his eyes. "Hanamichi, I'm sorry..."
"For what?"
She paused for a moment. "For lying to you..."
Quickly Sakuragi snatched his hands away from Mifuyu's palms and crossed his arms. "Geez you didn't lie, you just don't tell..."
Shaking her head, she closed her eyes. "No. I did lie to you."
Finally, Hanamichi returned her gaze as he tilted his chin. He was a bit confused. What could she now possibly lie about? Why do things have to get worse and complicated? "Huh?"
Mifuyu stopped for a moment to gather her strength. So many times she had heaved in a deep breath and bit her lower lip. But then she managed to assembled words into sentences in her mind. She then bent down and opened her bag and pulled out a pile of postcards. Some of them were already old, they were getting yellow and dirty at the edges. She looked at it for a while and then handed it to him. "I've been waiting to give you these..." She sighed. "But I can't..."
Rukawa took a step and leaned forward to see what the postcards were all about. Both pairs of Hanamichi's eyes widened as he carefully scan through the cards. Some of them were postcards of basketball players, some are just plain. Carefully he flipped the first on top of the pile and read the message.
'Hanamichi... How are you? I hope you are doing fine... - Sakuragi Mifuyu'
He lifted his head and looked at the woman kneeling in front of him. This must be a dream. The woman is his mother by his own blood! Sakuragi's jaws almost dropped to the floor. He couldn't believe it. All these times he had been waiting for her to drop by in his life. Never thought that it would come true, but now here she is. He doesn't know what he felt now. There were anger, happiness, disbelief and curiousness stirred within. But all he knew now is to find out more about the mystery within the postcards. With his hands he took the next and flipped it over.
'Hanamichi... I've been wanting to see you... Can we meet? – Sakuragi Mifuyu'
He placed the read ones on his side and then read the next.
'Hanamichi... Are you doing fine? Please, take care of yourself... - Sakuragi Mifuyu'
He put the card on the side with the other read cards and read the next. There were heaps of them. Most of them were filled with short messages, Sakuragi was beginning to get impatient. But he did not say a word and he continued to read the next.
'Hanamichi... I wanted to tell you something... I... Hope we can meet... - Sakuragi Mifuyu'
Sakuragi felt his heart skipped a beat. Eager, he read the next.
'Hanamichi, if you feel any certain kind of pain, don't hesitate to contact the doctor... - Sakuragi Mifuyu'
What the...?
'Hanamichi... Please, I'm sorry... I've been waiting to tell you something but I can't... Can we get together sometime? – Sakuragi Mifuyu'
Then finally the next card almost made his heart stopped beating.
'You're dying... I'm sorry, Hanamichi... - no names attached'
His hands begin to tremble. He then carefully took the next and flipped it over.
'Hanamichi... you're suffering Leukemia... I'm sorry... - Sakuragi Mifuyu'
'Hanamichi... you are suffering a serious disease... I'm sorry I don't know how to say this the right way... - Sakuragi Mifuyu'
Then the next few cards said the similar things concerning his disease. His hands grew weak but he continued to read the next. The next have lots of scribbles on it, unlike the previous cards that only contained of not more than 3 sentences at most. Sakuragi squinted his eyes nervously and began to read.
'Hanamichi... This is what I've been trying to tell you. Yes, I'm sorry, you are dying... You are suffering a minor blood cancer way back since you were born... Doctor said you won't probably make it through your teenage years... I'm sorry... And I am the one left to blame... I've been trying to find a way to tell you this but I didn't have the strength to tell... I'm sorry... - Sakuragi Mifuyu'
The hand grew loose and the card fell on the floor. His eyes were wide in shock, Mifuyu dared to not look at him. "...You abandoned me... and now you said that... I am... dying?"
"No... It wasn't true... I did not abandon you. I just couldn't find the strength to meet with you again... I am scared..."
Shaking his head, a tear rolled down his cheek. His pair of dry lips now is trembling. He tried to speak but words were stuck in his throat. "...Bullshit..." He glared at his mother's eyes. ones that were in the color of hazel just like his. "Bullshit!!" He cried on the top of his lungs. All the pieces of the cards all fell down and scattered on the floor. "Get away from me! Leave!!"
Mifuyu was trying to gather the postcards back to a pile but she stopped as she heard Hanamichi screaming out loud, telling her to get lost. She felt her heart breaking but what can she do? Her son is at an emotional stage right now and perhaps it is best to just leave him alone for a while.
"Leave!!" Once more Sakuragi shouted out. Mifuyu lowered her head, picked up her handbag and stood up.
"I'm sorry, Hanami---"
"LEAVE!!" He stomped his foot and pointed out his fingers towards the door out. Mifuyu gasped and then scurried out from his sight, leaving only Sakuragi and Rukawa alone.
Sakuragi tried to catch his breath. His heart pounded loud in his chest, beating right to the skin. Shoulders shaking and face filled with tears, Sakuragi slumped to his the pillows right in front of the walls beside his bed. He placed the back of his palms on his forehead and closed his eyes.
Rukawa grabbed a tissue box on top of his desk and handed it to him. Still crying silently Hanamichi ignored him. Therefore he sat down beside him and pulled a few tissues to his hand and kept it between his hands. He looked to the side and watched Hanamichi's tears trickling down to his chin. "...Just laugh if you want..." He finally broke the silence. Rukawa gave no reply. He kept looking at him and he didn't said a word. "...Damn, this is funny... hella funny..." He said between his sobs, smiling bitterly to himself. "...I'm an abandoned kid and yeah, I'm dying... aint that funny...?"
Rukawa's hands slowly moved upwards and smothered the tears from Hanamichi's face with tissue. It only made him cry harder. Instantly he bailed aloud and crinkled his brows, trying to fight back his tears by clenching his jaws. It hurts to see a person whose world had just turned upside down. It hurts to see someone so alive dying. It just hurts to see him cry. Sakuragi tossed Rukawa's hands from his face and walked over to the window as he kept crying. He leaned his forehead to the glass surface as the rain was pouring down. Rukawa followed him and slid his arms to Sakuragi's waist.
"...Don't cry..."
Sakuragi was pretty much startled by Rukawa's arms that wrapped around his waist. The freshman known as the Super Rookie pulled his arms tighter.
"...You... can push me if... you don't want me to---"
Instead of pushing his arms aside Sakuragi twisted his waist and leaned on Rukawa's shoulders, arms wrapping around his neck. He was not ashamed now, he cried aloud on him, pouring the sadness of his heart out. Hearing him cry tears Rukawa's heart too. And that was the point where Rukawa had decided on himself. He will do whatever he could do to help this lad from misery. He will bring him out of despair. He will take care of him even though he will leave someday.
a.n :: messy chapter! I guess it's pretty much, OK, though... I was listening to David Tao as I was listening to this... huu... made me sad.
...Suffered Leukemia..."
It echoed in his mind. The words bounced around the walls of his head. He shivered as he stood still in silence.
"No!!" The woman recognized in an ivory trench coat rushed to the scene and finally came between the two of them. Her breaths panting and her long dark locks covered her face. She looked in dread at the two, Sakuragi and Rukawa.
At the sole of his shoes Sakuragi felt the ground trembling and tearing apart. What was said must not be true. He couldn't take Rukawa's words into his heart. Instead, he pushed it aside. Quivering, Hanamichi shook his redhead in disbelief. Flabbergasted, he laughed awkwardly as his brows scrunched up to the middle of his forehead. "Bullshit," he spat the words out from his pair of dry lips. "Fuck you, Kitsune... It's all bullshit, huh?" He cocked his head and placed a palm on his waist while the other remained in his trousers' pocket.
Rukawa sighed and ran his hands up his bangs, afraid to say another word and confused of what to do next. He shouldn't tell him, but what could he do? Sakuragi needs to know the truth. In the point of this scene there's no chance he would ever believe in what he had said. His pale face grew stern.
"Hanamichi..." The woman, who was partially a stranger to both of them clasped her hands and closed her eyes. At the sight of it Rukawa was somewhat nauseated. What was she thinking? Didn't she know that her presence could just make things worse?
Sakuragi only stared at her blankly. Nobody could guess about what was going on in his mind. The only thing he knew now is that she was the doctor that visited him back in Rukawa's house. His eyes then altered back to Rukawa's and gazed into his deeply.
A hand landed on Mifuyu's shoulder. It was Rukawa. She looked at him with confusion but Rukawa stayed still. His hands then pushed her forward a bit, causing her to stumble to the front. "Tell him," he said slowly.
"No!" She immediately retorted. Her eyes were wide as she threw back her glance at the raven-haired boy. Deep inside her heart she had no guts to speak directly to her son, particularly about the disease. "Kaede-kun..."
Perplexed at the sight of the scene Sakuragi couldn't take it anymore. His mind was bearing the truth that Rukawa had handed to him. He was trapped in the world of his own, blinded by confusion. "Just whatever," he said in a trembling voice. "Screw you..." He then quickly twisted his hips and made a run out of the sight into who knows where.
Just right after he left Rukawa slid both his hands into his pocket as the air grew heavier. He then started to walk away, but a hand caught his jacket. "Why did you tell?" Mifuyu's face was filled with worries, angst and disappointment at the same time. Rukawa's steps halted. Mifuyu slowly let go of his sweaters. "You know this is not the right time..."
"What? You want to wait for the time until he eventually died?" He snorted, sickened.
The lady in long tresses of wavy dark brown hair looked down at the pavement as people walked pass through the two of them. She bit her lips and then sighed. Both of her hands and her fingers crumpled into a fist, grabbing tight to her handbag. "No... but this is a bad timing... we should---"
"What? Wait another time? You know he doesn't have much time left..." True. What Rukawa said was true. Indeed, the son is suffering. Time will not wait for him. Seeing that Mifuyu gave no reply to him he decided to just walk and get away from her. But then he stopped and twisted his waist so that his face was facing her direction. "Tell me where Sakuragi lives..."
The door slammed close. Sakuragi ran all the way up the stairs and finally entered his room. He shut the door tight behind him and slid his back down to the floor. He was too taken aback he couldn't speak. His thoughts were all blurry and it seems like everything were going so fast. Beads of cold sweat gathered around his face and his neck, ready to roll down and wet his shirt.
This couldn't be... What the hell was Kitsune saying? Leukemia? Hell no.
No. No way. This is way too harsh. The scene and the words all played back in his mind. Then something stood out, the lady. The doctor? What was she doing in there? What brings her around? Sakuragi buried his head deep in his arms and tried to throw things aside.
Knock knock.
The redhead almost jumped when he heard the door behind his back knocking. It just pulled him out back to reality. He dared not to open; he just didn't want somebody walking into this right now. He wanted to be alone. "Get lost," he crawled to his bed and sat there alone.
Rukawa refused to leave. Instead he entered the room without waiting for further permission. Sakuragi somehow knew that it would be him therefore he didn't move his eyes an inch from the wooden floor. "What the hell are you doing here? Did you forget to mention that I also suffered bronchitis or maybe brain damage?" He snickered.
"I forget to tell..." Mifuyu, who was previously hiding behind Rukawa's broad shoulders slid to the front and approached the redhead. Just as she was a foot away from Sakuragi she knelt and tried to smile. "Hello, Hanamichi...."
"Doctor..." he greeted lazily in a whispery voice.
Mifuyu placed a hand upon Sakuragi's and tried to look at his eyes. "Hanamichi, I'm sorry..."
"For what?"
She paused for a moment. "For lying to you..."
Quickly Sakuragi snatched his hands away from Mifuyu's palms and crossed his arms. "Geez you didn't lie, you just don't tell..."
Shaking her head, she closed her eyes. "No. I did lie to you."
Finally, Hanamichi returned her gaze as he tilted his chin. He was a bit confused. What could she now possibly lie about? Why do things have to get worse and complicated? "Huh?"
Mifuyu stopped for a moment to gather her strength. So many times she had heaved in a deep breath and bit her lower lip. But then she managed to assembled words into sentences in her mind. She then bent down and opened her bag and pulled out a pile of postcards. Some of them were already old, they were getting yellow and dirty at the edges. She looked at it for a while and then handed it to him. "I've been waiting to give you these..." She sighed. "But I can't..."
Rukawa took a step and leaned forward to see what the postcards were all about. Both pairs of Hanamichi's eyes widened as he carefully scan through the cards. Some of them were postcards of basketball players, some are just plain. Carefully he flipped the first on top of the pile and read the message.
'Hanamichi... How are you? I hope you are doing fine... - Sakuragi Mifuyu'
He lifted his head and looked at the woman kneeling in front of him. This must be a dream. The woman is his mother by his own blood! Sakuragi's jaws almost dropped to the floor. He couldn't believe it. All these times he had been waiting for her to drop by in his life. Never thought that it would come true, but now here she is. He doesn't know what he felt now. There were anger, happiness, disbelief and curiousness stirred within. But all he knew now is to find out more about the mystery within the postcards. With his hands he took the next and flipped it over.
'Hanamichi... I've been wanting to see you... Can we meet? – Sakuragi Mifuyu'
He placed the read ones on his side and then read the next.
'Hanamichi... Are you doing fine? Please, take care of yourself... - Sakuragi Mifuyu'
He put the card on the side with the other read cards and read the next. There were heaps of them. Most of them were filled with short messages, Sakuragi was beginning to get impatient. But he did not say a word and he continued to read the next.
'Hanamichi... I wanted to tell you something... I... Hope we can meet... - Sakuragi Mifuyu'
Sakuragi felt his heart skipped a beat. Eager, he read the next.
'Hanamichi, if you feel any certain kind of pain, don't hesitate to contact the doctor... - Sakuragi Mifuyu'
What the...?
'Hanamichi... Please, I'm sorry... I've been waiting to tell you something but I can't... Can we get together sometime? – Sakuragi Mifuyu'
Then finally the next card almost made his heart stopped beating.
'You're dying... I'm sorry, Hanamichi... - no names attached'
His hands begin to tremble. He then carefully took the next and flipped it over.
'Hanamichi... you're suffering Leukemia... I'm sorry... - Sakuragi Mifuyu'
'Hanamichi... you are suffering a serious disease... I'm sorry I don't know how to say this the right way... - Sakuragi Mifuyu'
Then the next few cards said the similar things concerning his disease. His hands grew weak but he continued to read the next. The next have lots of scribbles on it, unlike the previous cards that only contained of not more than 3 sentences at most. Sakuragi squinted his eyes nervously and began to read.
'Hanamichi... This is what I've been trying to tell you. Yes, I'm sorry, you are dying... You are suffering a minor blood cancer way back since you were born... Doctor said you won't probably make it through your teenage years... I'm sorry... And I am the one left to blame... I've been trying to find a way to tell you this but I didn't have the strength to tell... I'm sorry... - Sakuragi Mifuyu'
The hand grew loose and the card fell on the floor. His eyes were wide in shock, Mifuyu dared to not look at him. "...You abandoned me... and now you said that... I am... dying?"
"No... It wasn't true... I did not abandon you. I just couldn't find the strength to meet with you again... I am scared..."
Shaking his head, a tear rolled down his cheek. His pair of dry lips now is trembling. He tried to speak but words were stuck in his throat. "...Bullshit..." He glared at his mother's eyes. ones that were in the color of hazel just like his. "Bullshit!!" He cried on the top of his lungs. All the pieces of the cards all fell down and scattered on the floor. "Get away from me! Leave!!"
Mifuyu was trying to gather the postcards back to a pile but she stopped as she heard Hanamichi screaming out loud, telling her to get lost. She felt her heart breaking but what can she do? Her son is at an emotional stage right now and perhaps it is best to just leave him alone for a while.
"Leave!!" Once more Sakuragi shouted out. Mifuyu lowered her head, picked up her handbag and stood up.
"I'm sorry, Hanami---"
"LEAVE!!" He stomped his foot and pointed out his fingers towards the door out. Mifuyu gasped and then scurried out from his sight, leaving only Sakuragi and Rukawa alone.
Sakuragi tried to catch his breath. His heart pounded loud in his chest, beating right to the skin. Shoulders shaking and face filled with tears, Sakuragi slumped to his the pillows right in front of the walls beside his bed. He placed the back of his palms on his forehead and closed his eyes.
Rukawa grabbed a tissue box on top of his desk and handed it to him. Still crying silently Hanamichi ignored him. Therefore he sat down beside him and pulled a few tissues to his hand and kept it between his hands. He looked to the side and watched Hanamichi's tears trickling down to his chin. "...Just laugh if you want..." He finally broke the silence. Rukawa gave no reply. He kept looking at him and he didn't said a word. "...Damn, this is funny... hella funny..." He said between his sobs, smiling bitterly to himself. "...I'm an abandoned kid and yeah, I'm dying... aint that funny...?"
Rukawa's hands slowly moved upwards and smothered the tears from Hanamichi's face with tissue. It only made him cry harder. Instantly he bailed aloud and crinkled his brows, trying to fight back his tears by clenching his jaws. It hurts to see a person whose world had just turned upside down. It hurts to see someone so alive dying. It just hurts to see him cry. Sakuragi tossed Rukawa's hands from his face and walked over to the window as he kept crying. He leaned his forehead to the glass surface as the rain was pouring down. Rukawa followed him and slid his arms to Sakuragi's waist.
"...Don't cry..."
Sakuragi was pretty much startled by Rukawa's arms that wrapped around his waist. The freshman known as the Super Rookie pulled his arms tighter.
"...You... can push me if... you don't want me to---"
Instead of pushing his arms aside Sakuragi twisted his waist and leaned on Rukawa's shoulders, arms wrapping around his neck. He was not ashamed now, he cried aloud on him, pouring the sadness of his heart out. Hearing him cry tears Rukawa's heart too. And that was the point where Rukawa had decided on himself. He will do whatever he could do to help this lad from misery. He will bring him out of despair. He will take care of him even though he will leave someday.
a.n :: messy chapter! I guess it's pretty much, OK, though... I was listening to David Tao as I was listening to this... huu... made me sad.