The morning sunlight shone through the thin glass window and landed on Rukawa's face. The feeling of the heat of the sun pulled him away from his deep sleep onto the surface. Slowly he tried to lift his drowsy lids and opened his eyes. Just as he was about to sit up he felt something burdening his chest. He looked down and found Hanamichi sleeping peacefully on top of him, eyes wide shut and lips merely parted. Yes he remembered. Hanamichi had been crying all night to him. Perhaps he needed some rest for now. Rukawa leaned back and took a deep breath. He tried to shut his eyes again and sleep for if he rose from the bed it would disturb Hanamichi's peaceful sleep.
Since the odds are against him Rukawa couldn't fall back to his slumber. The piercing sunshine was heating up inches of Rukawa's pale cheek. It gave him peculiar sensation of a mixture between the cold morning air and the rays of sunlight. He sighed and arched his head back to sink into the pillow and nailed his pair of cobalt blue eyes onto the ceiling. My my my, he had just remembered. Today is Monday and both of them should be going to school. But oh well, what harm could taking off school for a day be? He altered his sight towards the sleeping do'aho that rested his face upon Rukawa's shirt. He seems to be enjoying his sleep. After a day full of catastrophe what dream could he have for the night? Hopefully happy ones.
Looking around the room he spotted an alarm clock on the computer desk. The time was 10 past 11 am. Boy was he really late for school or what? Once more Rukawa sighed. His feet was starting to get numb as Sakuragi had pressed his weight onto it the whole night through. Rukawa eyed the redhead once more and this time he ran his hand through his dyed locks. It was soft and smooth.
It was hard to belief that a man like him with the persona of bravery, strength, courage and spirit was so fragile. For these past few days things are starting to move faster. Don't know when Sakuragi's time will finally end. No. Rukawa shook the thought of it away and then closed his eyes. "Hanamichi..." he murmured softly at first.
There was no sign that Sakuragi was conscious. Of course, he was still wandering off in some place called La La Land or whatever that might be. He called out his name once more with a louder tone. Sakuragi only tighten his eyelids and moaned a bit but he didn't open his eyes. "Hanamichi!" Rukawa's voice was almost a scream and he tapped the self-proclaimed genius on the head. "Wake up!"
Sakuragi pulled the corner of his lips to his left cheek and then rolled off from Rukawa's chest to the corner of the bed. Good. Now he can actually get out of bed. He quickly tossed his feet to the floor and then stretched as he stood up. That was a tiring night, wasn't it? Thank goodness he had a nice sleep. Now it is time for shower and breakfast.
Rukawa immediately walked over to Sakuragi's closet and searched for clothing that would pretty much fit his taste. Most of Sakuragi's wardrobe were white colored t-shirts. The rest would be other colored or image- printed shirt. For the pants Sakuragi had nothing much but some washed out Levi's hipster jeans and some sport shorts that he usually used for basketball. But somewhere between the stacks of clothes Rukawa had managed to find a black Nike trainer with white stripes. He had one that looked just like this back in his house and he wore it a lot. Carefully he pulled it away from the stacks of folded clothing and placed it on the floor. For the last piece of clothing Rukawa didn't bothered much. He just took one boxers and then walked into the bathroom straight.
After Rukawa finished the shower he found Sakuragi already sitting on the corner of his bed. "Ohayo," he greeted in a husky voice. Seems like he lost his voice.
"Ohayo," Rukawa hailed him back as he dried off his hair with a green towel. "How's your sleep?"
Sakuragi shrugged. "It's okay, I guess?" Rukawa gave no reply. As the super rookie sat down onto the bed the redhead stood up and walked into the bathroom. He let the door open. From the gap between the door and its frame Rukawa could see that he was looking at the mirror. "Damn..." he begin softly. "Don't I look handsome for a dying dude?"
Astonished by his sense of humor Rukawa broke into laughter. Sakuragi smiled as he heard Rukawa's hearty laugh. It was rare. He should've got it on tape and make money out of it. "Do'aho," Rukawa sneered.
"Hey that was meant to be a sarcasm..." Sakuragi walked out from the bathroom back and stood before Rukawa. He then lifted his hand and pointed at his face, particularly focusing on the dark soggy eye bags. "This is not handsome."
"True," Rukawa agreed. "You looked dreadful. Go get a shower."
"Fine... You go cook me some of your tasty French toast, then..."
They both sat in silence, busy chewing on their own breakfasts. Both took turns stealing glances at each other. They got caught for a few times by each other.
"Stop looking at me," Sakuragi spoke with his mouth jammed with pieces of the egg-covered bread loaves.
Rukawa sharpened his eyes. His ego burned inside of him and was afraid to admit that he had been eyeing his rival in basketball. "YOU stop looking at me... it's annoying." They both then remembered to the days back when they could spend the whole afternoon quarreling about silly things with each other. But then for now they stopped and exchanged stares in silence. "You noticed we skipped school today?" Rukawa tried to change the topic.
Sakuragi nodded. Mouth still full of food.
"So then what are we going to do for the rest of the day?"
Finally the redhead swallowed and cleared his throat. "I don't know. Got any suggestions?"
Rukawa shrugged. "No." He replied shortly.
Hanamichi paused for a moment. He tried to skim through places around Kanagawa that may seem appropriate for the current moment. The mall will be too crowded, downtown will be boring since they went there yesterday, the school's not an option, and basketball courts were currently prohibited for him. Then something popped to his mind. "Yeah, why not the dock? I heard Smiley often spend his time fishin' or doing God-knows-what over there..." Rukawa simply shrugged in reply. Anything will surely sound good rather than dozing off in this house. As he stood up he grabbed the empty plate and walked over to the washbasin. Sakuragi trailed him and finally stood beside him and handed over his plate. "Nee... When was the last time you went over to the dock?"
Slowly he let the water rain down onto the surface of the plate as his other hand drenched the sponge with soap water. It was not long ago, actually, but he refused to speak. His mind was focused to scrub the stains off the dishes. Both stood quiet. Not a sound other than the streaming water from the tap filled the air around them. As Rukawa felt satisfied watching his pale fingers pressing and rubbing the sponge onto the plate over and over again, he placed the dishes aside and turned the water off. "...Let's go." He finally broke the ice between them. Sakuragi won't let him be bothered by the awkward air that hung around them. Instead he just tailed Rukawa out of the house.
Right as his left foot hit the outside ground he breathed in the fresh air. The redhead smiled bitterly to himself and slid both his hands into his parachute jacket. The rays of the morning sunshine made him feel alive as ever. Sakuragi lifted his head and looked at the one that used to be his archenemy walking silently in front of him. His thoughts traced back to last night when Rukawa confronted him from despair. Never have he thought that he would be the one who will catch him when his walls tear apart. "Rukawa..." He called out his name, almost a whisper.
The kitsune halted his steps and lazily turned his hips to face him. "What?"
The ear-to-ear smile on Hanamichi's face stirred curiosity within Rukawa's chest. He knew that the do'aho had something to say. He waited patiently. Seconds past and neither moved a bit. After taking one final deep breath, Hanamichi parted his lips to let the words tumble out of his mouth. "Thanks..."
That one word only caused Rukawa to cock one of his thick dark brows in confusion. "For what?" He instantly shot back, overwhelmed with bewilderment.
Hanamichi then took a few steps forward and smacked Rukawa's back gently as his smile grew to a grin. "Last night..." The words were only meant to fish out hints. Seeing that Rukawa still stood in silence Hanamichi laughed a bit. "Maa... Never mind..." He then tugged the bit of Rukawa's sweaters and walked forward. "Let's just head to the dock."
The sun was up high in the midst of the crystal clear sky when both of them reached the bay. No one was in sight, nothing but blue waters that ran endlessly towards the horizon. As Sakuragi had finally run out of space to walk upon he knelt down and sat on the edge of the wooden dock. He then let out a sigh of joy and relief. Slowly Rukawa followed him from behind and then sat on the empty space beside Hanamichi. "What are we going to do now?" He questioned in a monotone voice.
"I don't know?" Hanamichi shrugged. They haven't really planned for anything for the day. "I wish we got a fishing rod..."
Rukawa gave no reply. He gazed deeply into the curling waves that hugged onto the white sands of the shore. The sunshine seemed to make the water glittering in gold, reflecting onto Rukawa's pair of indigo's eyes. Without making any noise Hanamichi stared at him for a moment and then threw his back out to the air and landed onto the wood. He squinted his hazel eyes and nailed them onto the cloudless skies. "Hey..."
"Hm?" Sakuragi rested his red head onto his crossed arms that he laid behind his neck.
Rukawa lifted his leg and brought his knee onto his chin. Both his hands then tied up the shoelace of his Nike Air Jordan. When he finished he hugged his leg close to his chest and sighed. "...How far is heaven?"
Interesting. That question never came to Sakuragi's mind. More, he never imagined that Rukawa would be the one to raise the issue. He smiled a bit and lifted his back as his palms supported his shoulders from the base of the wooden harbor floor. "In my case... It's not very far..."
"Don't say that." Rukawa immediately snapped back. Why does he have to bring the matter of Leukemia back in times like these? "You are not sure... you haven't check... You never knew if it apparently turns better..."
Still smiling, Hanamichi breathed in deeply. By that he know is reassured that Rukawa was truly concerned of him. However death is a factor that he cannot escape. "...Thanks. But even though I haven't gone through any check ups I know... I know I... that my body is somehow getting weaker..." He hated to say this. He almost choked and wished he did.
Rukawa's brows furrowed in agony. How he wished he didn't hear him say that. "Well..." He paused to find the appropriate words. "...You'll never know if there's a cure..."
"I hope they do... But whatever that is, I'd like to see heaven..." Once more he looked up to the sky.
Rukawa clenched his fist tight he almost felt that the tip of his nails will tear into the skin of his palm. He felt his heart sank into the bottom of his chest. He bit his lower lip as an effort to fight back the pain of the thought of losing someone. Rukawa had never came close to death. He never knew any relatives or anyone who had met their time. He barely knew anybody. And now just as he was about to get as close as he could imagine with someone, he was about to face death. How he despise the thought of it, how he despised fate. Rukawa dared not to look at him, he didn't want to see the expression of Sakuragi's face. Well, precisely he didn't want Sakuragi to look at his face that was full of bitterness.
A cloud began to cross the sky. "When I was a kid I used to think that heaven is full of ice cream castles and the cottons are edible cotton candies. There are fairies flying all over the place, sprinkling golden dust all over the face. The best part of it is that we all have wings!" Sakuragi exclaimed in delight as he reminisce back to his childhood thoughts. His lips then curled to a faint smile. "Somehow I still believe in it... And now I can't believe to see it..."
Out of the blue Rukawa reached out his arms and pulled the redhead to his embrace. He wrapped his arms around him tight, afraid of letting go. "Shut up." Though his voice was cold and stern, somehow Sakuragi could feel a hint of bitterness and sorrow. He was too perplexed to push him aside. For now all that he could do was blushing and remained silent for his mouth was muffled with Rukawa's sweater fabric. "I don't want to hear any of those stupid things, you hear? Heaven or death, whatever that may be, I don't want to hear!"
Sakuragi placed a hand on Rukawa's back. His heartbeat began to race in the speed of light. He could smell the masculine cologne on Rukawa's clothes. Boy, he loved the smell of it.
"...What the hell, Hanamichi..." His voice began to tremble. "Don't make it sound easy for you to say things about death... I'm the one who can't bear hearing about it..."
Hanamichi's eyes popped wider. He then managed to push Rukawa back a bit in order to give him space to breathe. Hanamichi then looked deep into Rukawa's eyes. Emotions all gathered and stirred in his pair of cobalt eyes. It pierced deep into Sakuragi's heart. Slowly he traced the outline of Rukawa's pale face with his fingers. "I'm scared of death but I am quite ready..."
"I am scared and I'M not prepared...!!" Rukawa bursted out. He then panted for air. "Stop being so selfish, Hanamichi... You didn't know how the ones you left will feel if you're gone, right? What about your Mom? Or Akagi- sempai? Ayako-sempai? Haruko? Mitsui-sempai... Kogure-sempai... Miyagi-sempai... Anzai-sensei... What about me?!"
"What am I to do??!?!" It was almost a shriek. Hanamichi had raised his tone towards Rukawa, almost making him jump. "Then what am I supposed to do?!?! Do you think I ever WISH for this disease?!" A single tear rolled down his flushed red cheek.
Rukawa slumped his shoulders and reached out his fingers to wipe off the bead of teardrop from his face.
"I am MORE SCARED than any of you, for your information...!! I have to face death ALONE!!" Now he cried harder. Tears streamed down his face down to his chin. Then dripping off and soaked his shirt. "...I tried to change my perspective of the worst but you made my effort seemed worthless...!!"
They both stared at each other in silence. There was nothing more but the sound of the crashing waves. "...I'm sorry..." Rukawa then grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight.
'Indeed, he is the one who is afraid most...'
"I'm sorry..." Once more Rukawa repeated. Hanamichi shut his eyes tight and let him bawl like a baby. He helplessly leaned forward and rested his forehead onto Rukawa's shoulder. Rukawa raised his fingers and ran them through Sakuragi's red-dyed locks, soft and smooth. He patted gently a few times and then rubbed his back to the midst of his spine, trying to ease him down. "...I'm sorry." The words escaped his lips one more time.
Rukawa hugged him close as his tears subsided. "...We can at least find out about things that we can do for you... Go to a doctor and get a possible treatment..." Suggested the raven-haired boy. "And through it all, I promise I'll be with you... I'll be by your side..."
"...I promise you won't be alone... whatever the situation is..."
"I promise..."
a.n :: I'm really really really really sorry for the lateness of the update!!! I had final exams and other things that were crammed up to my schedule... ;; to make it up to ya I have written a special chapter where it is longer than before!! ;
oh yeah... another favor to make it up to you... I'll take this more like 'polling'... do you guys want a happy ending or sad ending? I got two ideas now, and I'm quite confused... so if u be willing just place ur vote on the reviews section! I would really appreciate your voice =)
Since the odds are against him Rukawa couldn't fall back to his slumber. The piercing sunshine was heating up inches of Rukawa's pale cheek. It gave him peculiar sensation of a mixture between the cold morning air and the rays of sunlight. He sighed and arched his head back to sink into the pillow and nailed his pair of cobalt blue eyes onto the ceiling. My my my, he had just remembered. Today is Monday and both of them should be going to school. But oh well, what harm could taking off school for a day be? He altered his sight towards the sleeping do'aho that rested his face upon Rukawa's shirt. He seems to be enjoying his sleep. After a day full of catastrophe what dream could he have for the night? Hopefully happy ones.
Looking around the room he spotted an alarm clock on the computer desk. The time was 10 past 11 am. Boy was he really late for school or what? Once more Rukawa sighed. His feet was starting to get numb as Sakuragi had pressed his weight onto it the whole night through. Rukawa eyed the redhead once more and this time he ran his hand through his dyed locks. It was soft and smooth.
It was hard to belief that a man like him with the persona of bravery, strength, courage and spirit was so fragile. For these past few days things are starting to move faster. Don't know when Sakuragi's time will finally end. No. Rukawa shook the thought of it away and then closed his eyes. "Hanamichi..." he murmured softly at first.
There was no sign that Sakuragi was conscious. Of course, he was still wandering off in some place called La La Land or whatever that might be. He called out his name once more with a louder tone. Sakuragi only tighten his eyelids and moaned a bit but he didn't open his eyes. "Hanamichi!" Rukawa's voice was almost a scream and he tapped the self-proclaimed genius on the head. "Wake up!"
Sakuragi pulled the corner of his lips to his left cheek and then rolled off from Rukawa's chest to the corner of the bed. Good. Now he can actually get out of bed. He quickly tossed his feet to the floor and then stretched as he stood up. That was a tiring night, wasn't it? Thank goodness he had a nice sleep. Now it is time for shower and breakfast.
Rukawa immediately walked over to Sakuragi's closet and searched for clothing that would pretty much fit his taste. Most of Sakuragi's wardrobe were white colored t-shirts. The rest would be other colored or image- printed shirt. For the pants Sakuragi had nothing much but some washed out Levi's hipster jeans and some sport shorts that he usually used for basketball. But somewhere between the stacks of clothes Rukawa had managed to find a black Nike trainer with white stripes. He had one that looked just like this back in his house and he wore it a lot. Carefully he pulled it away from the stacks of folded clothing and placed it on the floor. For the last piece of clothing Rukawa didn't bothered much. He just took one boxers and then walked into the bathroom straight.
After Rukawa finished the shower he found Sakuragi already sitting on the corner of his bed. "Ohayo," he greeted in a husky voice. Seems like he lost his voice.
"Ohayo," Rukawa hailed him back as he dried off his hair with a green towel. "How's your sleep?"
Sakuragi shrugged. "It's okay, I guess?" Rukawa gave no reply. As the super rookie sat down onto the bed the redhead stood up and walked into the bathroom. He let the door open. From the gap between the door and its frame Rukawa could see that he was looking at the mirror. "Damn..." he begin softly. "Don't I look handsome for a dying dude?"
Astonished by his sense of humor Rukawa broke into laughter. Sakuragi smiled as he heard Rukawa's hearty laugh. It was rare. He should've got it on tape and make money out of it. "Do'aho," Rukawa sneered.
"Hey that was meant to be a sarcasm..." Sakuragi walked out from the bathroom back and stood before Rukawa. He then lifted his hand and pointed at his face, particularly focusing on the dark soggy eye bags. "This is not handsome."
"True," Rukawa agreed. "You looked dreadful. Go get a shower."
"Fine... You go cook me some of your tasty French toast, then..."
They both sat in silence, busy chewing on their own breakfasts. Both took turns stealing glances at each other. They got caught for a few times by each other.
"Stop looking at me," Sakuragi spoke with his mouth jammed with pieces of the egg-covered bread loaves.
Rukawa sharpened his eyes. His ego burned inside of him and was afraid to admit that he had been eyeing his rival in basketball. "YOU stop looking at me... it's annoying." They both then remembered to the days back when they could spend the whole afternoon quarreling about silly things with each other. But then for now they stopped and exchanged stares in silence. "You noticed we skipped school today?" Rukawa tried to change the topic.
Sakuragi nodded. Mouth still full of food.
"So then what are we going to do for the rest of the day?"
Finally the redhead swallowed and cleared his throat. "I don't know. Got any suggestions?"
Rukawa shrugged. "No." He replied shortly.
Hanamichi paused for a moment. He tried to skim through places around Kanagawa that may seem appropriate for the current moment. The mall will be too crowded, downtown will be boring since they went there yesterday, the school's not an option, and basketball courts were currently prohibited for him. Then something popped to his mind. "Yeah, why not the dock? I heard Smiley often spend his time fishin' or doing God-knows-what over there..." Rukawa simply shrugged in reply. Anything will surely sound good rather than dozing off in this house. As he stood up he grabbed the empty plate and walked over to the washbasin. Sakuragi trailed him and finally stood beside him and handed over his plate. "Nee... When was the last time you went over to the dock?"
Slowly he let the water rain down onto the surface of the plate as his other hand drenched the sponge with soap water. It was not long ago, actually, but he refused to speak. His mind was focused to scrub the stains off the dishes. Both stood quiet. Not a sound other than the streaming water from the tap filled the air around them. As Rukawa felt satisfied watching his pale fingers pressing and rubbing the sponge onto the plate over and over again, he placed the dishes aside and turned the water off. "...Let's go." He finally broke the ice between them. Sakuragi won't let him be bothered by the awkward air that hung around them. Instead he just tailed Rukawa out of the house.
Right as his left foot hit the outside ground he breathed in the fresh air. The redhead smiled bitterly to himself and slid both his hands into his parachute jacket. The rays of the morning sunshine made him feel alive as ever. Sakuragi lifted his head and looked at the one that used to be his archenemy walking silently in front of him. His thoughts traced back to last night when Rukawa confronted him from despair. Never have he thought that he would be the one who will catch him when his walls tear apart. "Rukawa..." He called out his name, almost a whisper.
The kitsune halted his steps and lazily turned his hips to face him. "What?"
The ear-to-ear smile on Hanamichi's face stirred curiosity within Rukawa's chest. He knew that the do'aho had something to say. He waited patiently. Seconds past and neither moved a bit. After taking one final deep breath, Hanamichi parted his lips to let the words tumble out of his mouth. "Thanks..."
That one word only caused Rukawa to cock one of his thick dark brows in confusion. "For what?" He instantly shot back, overwhelmed with bewilderment.
Hanamichi then took a few steps forward and smacked Rukawa's back gently as his smile grew to a grin. "Last night..." The words were only meant to fish out hints. Seeing that Rukawa still stood in silence Hanamichi laughed a bit. "Maa... Never mind..." He then tugged the bit of Rukawa's sweaters and walked forward. "Let's just head to the dock."
The sun was up high in the midst of the crystal clear sky when both of them reached the bay. No one was in sight, nothing but blue waters that ran endlessly towards the horizon. As Sakuragi had finally run out of space to walk upon he knelt down and sat on the edge of the wooden dock. He then let out a sigh of joy and relief. Slowly Rukawa followed him from behind and then sat on the empty space beside Hanamichi. "What are we going to do now?" He questioned in a monotone voice.
"I don't know?" Hanamichi shrugged. They haven't really planned for anything for the day. "I wish we got a fishing rod..."
Rukawa gave no reply. He gazed deeply into the curling waves that hugged onto the white sands of the shore. The sunshine seemed to make the water glittering in gold, reflecting onto Rukawa's pair of indigo's eyes. Without making any noise Hanamichi stared at him for a moment and then threw his back out to the air and landed onto the wood. He squinted his hazel eyes and nailed them onto the cloudless skies. "Hey..."
"Hm?" Sakuragi rested his red head onto his crossed arms that he laid behind his neck.
Rukawa lifted his leg and brought his knee onto his chin. Both his hands then tied up the shoelace of his Nike Air Jordan. When he finished he hugged his leg close to his chest and sighed. "...How far is heaven?"
Interesting. That question never came to Sakuragi's mind. More, he never imagined that Rukawa would be the one to raise the issue. He smiled a bit and lifted his back as his palms supported his shoulders from the base of the wooden harbor floor. "In my case... It's not very far..."
"Don't say that." Rukawa immediately snapped back. Why does he have to bring the matter of Leukemia back in times like these? "You are not sure... you haven't check... You never knew if it apparently turns better..."
Still smiling, Hanamichi breathed in deeply. By that he know is reassured that Rukawa was truly concerned of him. However death is a factor that he cannot escape. "...Thanks. But even though I haven't gone through any check ups I know... I know I... that my body is somehow getting weaker..." He hated to say this. He almost choked and wished he did.
Rukawa's brows furrowed in agony. How he wished he didn't hear him say that. "Well..." He paused to find the appropriate words. "...You'll never know if there's a cure..."
"I hope they do... But whatever that is, I'd like to see heaven..." Once more he looked up to the sky.
Rukawa clenched his fist tight he almost felt that the tip of his nails will tear into the skin of his palm. He felt his heart sank into the bottom of his chest. He bit his lower lip as an effort to fight back the pain of the thought of losing someone. Rukawa had never came close to death. He never knew any relatives or anyone who had met their time. He barely knew anybody. And now just as he was about to get as close as he could imagine with someone, he was about to face death. How he despise the thought of it, how he despised fate. Rukawa dared not to look at him, he didn't want to see the expression of Sakuragi's face. Well, precisely he didn't want Sakuragi to look at his face that was full of bitterness.
A cloud began to cross the sky. "When I was a kid I used to think that heaven is full of ice cream castles and the cottons are edible cotton candies. There are fairies flying all over the place, sprinkling golden dust all over the face. The best part of it is that we all have wings!" Sakuragi exclaimed in delight as he reminisce back to his childhood thoughts. His lips then curled to a faint smile. "Somehow I still believe in it... And now I can't believe to see it..."
Out of the blue Rukawa reached out his arms and pulled the redhead to his embrace. He wrapped his arms around him tight, afraid of letting go. "Shut up." Though his voice was cold and stern, somehow Sakuragi could feel a hint of bitterness and sorrow. He was too perplexed to push him aside. For now all that he could do was blushing and remained silent for his mouth was muffled with Rukawa's sweater fabric. "I don't want to hear any of those stupid things, you hear? Heaven or death, whatever that may be, I don't want to hear!"
Sakuragi placed a hand on Rukawa's back. His heartbeat began to race in the speed of light. He could smell the masculine cologne on Rukawa's clothes. Boy, he loved the smell of it.
"...What the hell, Hanamichi..." His voice began to tremble. "Don't make it sound easy for you to say things about death... I'm the one who can't bear hearing about it..."
Hanamichi's eyes popped wider. He then managed to push Rukawa back a bit in order to give him space to breathe. Hanamichi then looked deep into Rukawa's eyes. Emotions all gathered and stirred in his pair of cobalt eyes. It pierced deep into Sakuragi's heart. Slowly he traced the outline of Rukawa's pale face with his fingers. "I'm scared of death but I am quite ready..."
"I am scared and I'M not prepared...!!" Rukawa bursted out. He then panted for air. "Stop being so selfish, Hanamichi... You didn't know how the ones you left will feel if you're gone, right? What about your Mom? Or Akagi- sempai? Ayako-sempai? Haruko? Mitsui-sempai... Kogure-sempai... Miyagi-sempai... Anzai-sensei... What about me?!"
"What am I to do??!?!" It was almost a shriek. Hanamichi had raised his tone towards Rukawa, almost making him jump. "Then what am I supposed to do?!?! Do you think I ever WISH for this disease?!" A single tear rolled down his flushed red cheek.
Rukawa slumped his shoulders and reached out his fingers to wipe off the bead of teardrop from his face.
"I am MORE SCARED than any of you, for your information...!! I have to face death ALONE!!" Now he cried harder. Tears streamed down his face down to his chin. Then dripping off and soaked his shirt. "...I tried to change my perspective of the worst but you made my effort seemed worthless...!!"
They both stared at each other in silence. There was nothing more but the sound of the crashing waves. "...I'm sorry..." Rukawa then grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight.
'Indeed, he is the one who is afraid most...'
"I'm sorry..." Once more Rukawa repeated. Hanamichi shut his eyes tight and let him bawl like a baby. He helplessly leaned forward and rested his forehead onto Rukawa's shoulder. Rukawa raised his fingers and ran them through Sakuragi's red-dyed locks, soft and smooth. He patted gently a few times and then rubbed his back to the midst of his spine, trying to ease him down. "...I'm sorry." The words escaped his lips one more time.
Rukawa hugged him close as his tears subsided. "...We can at least find out about things that we can do for you... Go to a doctor and get a possible treatment..." Suggested the raven-haired boy. "And through it all, I promise I'll be with you... I'll be by your side..."
"...I promise you won't be alone... whatever the situation is..."
"I promise..."
a.n :: I'm really really really really sorry for the lateness of the update!!! I had final exams and other things that were crammed up to my schedule... ;; to make it up to ya I have written a special chapter where it is longer than before!! ;
oh yeah... another favor to make it up to you... I'll take this more like 'polling'... do you guys want a happy ending or sad ending? I got two ideas now, and I'm quite confused... so if u be willing just place ur vote on the reviews section! I would really appreciate your voice =)