K, I don't own LOTR. Any other movies/characters/poems/whatever-else-you-
can-think-of that aren't mine. I ad-libbed the One Ring Poem that Tolkien
wrote, and the character that Geon is based on made up squarks...or was it
her brother...I don't remember. I just didn't make em up. They're not mine.
Only Mousie is mine cuz Frogy is a character based on my friend, and so if
I said that I owned Frogy, then I'd own my best friend. But I don't. But I
WOULD like Frodo, and Captain Jack, and I wouldn't mind having Yaten, and
Cyrus and Cain (from an online manga) are hot, and so is...Ranting fades off
into the distance
In the darkness three shadows loomed.
"As soon as we finish this trap, no one will be able to stop us!" The first cackled.
"The world of Middle Earth will be at our mercy!"
"I like cheese."
The two other shadows turned to stare at the one who had spoken.
"Cheese will rule the world." The third explained.
"Not in this fanfiction." The second corrected.
"OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo...the third sighed.
The three fell into silence once again, when suddenly the light switch was flipped on.
"What are you guys doing in the dark?" A girl with dark brown hair asked.
"AAAAAAAA!" The first shadow, now revealed as Mousie, screamed, clutching at her eyes, and writhing on her back, "THE LIGHT THE LIGHT IS BURNING MY EYEBALLS TO A CRISP!"
"Turn off the light, Monkeygurl!" The second shadow/Frogy commanded.
"No! It's the fourteenth of January in Middle Earth, and you know what THAT means."
"THAT CHEESE WILL TRULY RULE THE EARTH!" The third shadow/Geon shouted, but now her hair was dyed magenta.
"Uh...no..." Monkeygurl said, looking slightly disturbed, "It means that it's Angel's B-day."
"THE LIGHT! TURN IT OFF! I HATES IT! I HATES IT FOREVER AND EVER!"
"Shuddup Mousie."
"Ok."
Just then Angel came waltzing in doing the monkey. "It's my b-day and I'll rule the world if I want to!" She sang as she jumped around and waved her butt.
"May I continue writhing on the floor and clutching at my eyes?" Mousie asked Frogy.
"No."
"Ok"
"Cummon!" Angel prompted, "Celebrate with me! I've got a surprise planned for my b-day that you all will like!"
"Will cheese rule the world?" Geon asked, happily.
"Uh...no..." Monkeygurl replied, looking disturbed again.
"Then I'm not coming!" Geon pouted, crossing her arms and trying to look as stubborn as a mule.
"Will you be showing all three LOTR movies?" Frogy and Mousie both screamed at the same time, hopping up and down.
"NO!" Angel screamed! "YOU JUST HAD A LOTR-MARATHON YESTERDAY THAT ENDED BY YOU ALL SOBBING AT THE END OF ROTK BECAUSE SAM AND FRODO HAD TO LEAVE!"
"Oohh..." Mousie sniffled, "That was so sad..."
Immediately both Mousie and Frogy began sobbing over how sad they thought it was that Frodo had to leave, while Geon contemplated the deep mysteries of cheese and penguins.
"Both of you stop crying so that I can tell you why you'll want to come to my party!" Angel said, smacking both of the sobbing teens.
Both teens ignored her, and Angel was forced to tell Monkeygurl to slap both of them.
"Alright..." Monkeygurl grinned evilly as she rolled up her sleeves.
Frogy and Mousie screamed, and ran and hid behind Geon for cover.
"Now listen to why you'll want to come to my party!" Angel demanded, "I'll be having the Fellowship over for ice-cream and cake."
Frogy, Mousie, and Geon jumped up and began screaming: "Now we'll get our bishis!"
"No." Angel said firmly.
"No? No what?" Geon asked, thinking that perhaps cheese would not rule the world after all.
"No, you can't get your bishis."
"But-" The three protested at once.
"No. You have to be on good behavior, or else I'll call the Witch King of Agmar to come and get you." Angel replied, exercising her authority over the three.
"I'm actually quite surprised that you KNOW who the Witch King of Agmar is." Frogy said, getting ready to recount exactly HOW the Witch King of Agmar came into being.
"NO!" Angel screamed, covering her ears, "I AM NOT LISTENING TO THE HISTORY OF THE WITCH KING AGAIN!"
Frogy sighed.
"How did you get PJ to agree to borrow the Fellowship for the day?" Geon asked.
"Easy," Angel replied, looking proud, "The Almighty Puppy Eyes and Oober Powerful Crocodile Tears."
"That explains it." Mousie, who had been a first-hand witness of the powerful Puppy Eyes and the Crocodile Tears, sighed.
"So are you all going to come to the party, or just sit here, dreaming of Cheese?" Monkeygurl demanded.
"Yummmm..." Geon sighed, "Cheese..."
Mousie snapped her fingers in front of Geon's face. "Think Samwise Gamgee." She commanded.
Geon immediately perked up. "So where are they?"
In the Mines of Morea, PJ was having a talk with the Fellowship.
"So, that's why you have to go to the party." He explained.
"I like parties!" Pippin squeaked, "They have food at parties!"
"Will the location be CLEAN?" Legolas asked, hands on his hips questioningly, "Because if it's not clean, then I'll have to take a three- hour disinfectory shower."
"Be brave, Legolas of the Mirkwood realm." Aragorn commanded, striking a pose and looking manly.
Legolas put on a pouty-face and stalked away.
"NO!" Frodo screamed, "Legolas left, and he can see the best! If he goes, then no one will be able to see danger, and no one will be able to save me!" Frodo began to sob.
"Gtheotd ghtieo thsesd." Boromir said, trying to be comforting, though his words were muffled by the gag.
"STOP TALKING TO FRODO!" Sam shouted, and hit Boromir over the head once or twice.
"The impact of a frying-pan on the scull of the son of a Steward can cause damage." Gandalf said, wisely.
Everyone turned to stare at Gandalf.
"He actually said something that was relevant to the situation..." Gimly said in awe.
"Let's have a party!" PJ suggested.
"A party! I love parties! Drinks all around!" Someone from the shadows laughed drunkenly.
Legolas looked around uncomfortably.
"Who was that?" Aragorn asked suspiciously in a manly way.
"Wrong movie." PJ sighed.
"So what about that party?" Merry asked just before he bumped into the wall.
"What party?" Pippin asked.
"The party you'll be attending." PJ replied.
"I don't wanna attend a party!" Frodo whined.
"If Mr. Frodo doesn't wanna attend the party," Sam warned, "Then Mr. Frodo doesn't have to attend the party."
"I'm the director!" PJ yelled, "and if I tell you to go somewhere, then you'll go there! If I tell you to do something, then you'll do it! If I say 'Let's do that scene again', then you'll do that scene again until I'm happy with it!" PJ ranted.
"I don't wanna go." Frodo replied, crossing his arms.
"Do you want me to open the set for fans and fan-girls?" PJ asked, grinning.
"You wouldn't!" Legolas, Pippin, and Frodo screamed. Aragorn, Sam, Merry, and Boromir looked nervous. Gimly and Gandalf seemed perfectly calm however.
"Wouldn't I?" PJ smirked evilly.
"Huddle!" Aragorn shouted, raising his sword into the air in a manly way.
"You're gonna put an eye out with that thing..." Gimly muttered, then remembered his ax, and began further plans to kill Aragorn and get his ax back.
The group huddled around in a close circle, and PJ waited impatiently as they whispered among themselves, trying to decide on what to do.
Finally, Gandalf, being the leader of the group, despite his total lack of presentness, stood before PJ and said: "Hamburgers were once cows."
"Umm...would anyone like to translate?" PJ asked, sweatdroping.
"Language is a tool given to only those with mouths!" Gandalf replied.
"Can he be turned off?"
"Beware of the evil plot bunnies!"
"Someone? Anyone?"
"Do not mistake me for a pussycat of few hair-balls! I'm am not trying to eat you!"
"Gandalf?" Aragorn asked.
"Yes, future king of Lublublabla?"
"Why don't you let me speak?" He suggested.
"Alright," Gandalf consented, "But beware, he is quick with a light- sabor."
"I think you're talking about Saruman..." Merry corrected, as he tripped over Gimli's boot.
"PJ, we have decided that because of you're threa-erm...convincing words," Aragorn said, trying to be hot, "we will attend this party."
"Ok," PJ said as he walked away, "But you'd better hurry and take get ready, it starts in only an hour and a half."
"Three half hours for us to prepare,
Seven seats to divvy on a bus,
Nine of us and one sink to share.
One fate to suffer for us
In the land of Fan-Girl City, and PJ doesn't care.
One Party to rule us all,
One Party to brand us,
One Party to bring us all,
And in the darkness land us
In the land of Fan-Girl City, and PJ doesn't care."
Gandalf sighed.
"You know," Merry said, just before bumping into Legolas, "I think he chooses when he wants to remember things."
"Eek!" Legolas shrieked as Merry's dirt came into contact with him.
It was very dark in the deepest-darkest-most-dirty chasms of Moria, and Geon, Mousie, and Frogy were traveling down them to try to reach a place known only to Frogy.
"So what are we doing?" Mousie asked.
"You sound like Pippin." Geon commented.
"Hey! Pippin's MY sec-fav!" Frogy shouted.
"What?" Mousie teased, "Leggy-chan's not good enough for you?"
"Traitor!" Frogy shrieked as she jumped at Mousie.
Immediately the two were engaged in a semi-life-or-death struggle. The sounds of the scuffling echoing through the entire area of the mines.
"Shuddup!" Geon commanded, "or you'll wake up the squarks!"
All three of them shuddered in unison like they only do in cartoons.
"What are we doing down here, anyway?" Mousie asked.
"We are going to find Queen BulFrog." Frogy replied.
"Who's that?" Geon asked.
"The queen of the bullfrogs."
"Ah..."
"Cummon, I have to talk to her before the party!"
"Why?" Mousie asked in a sing-song voice.
"Because there's a way that I MIGHT be able to get Frodo, Sam, and Legolas."
"Why?"
"Because we're all head-over-heels for them."
"Why?"
"Probably because they're all so good looking when they're dirty...except for Legolas. He doesn't get dirty."
"Why?"
"Because he's an elf?"
"Why?"
"Ok. You can stop any time now."
"Why?"
"Because we're getting annoyed!"
"Why?"
Frogy screamed, and continued walking, ignoring Mousie.
The threesome continued walking through the mines, Mousie's 'why's beginning to grow fainter as they traveled into the deep depths of the mines.
In the darkness three shadows loomed.
"As soon as we finish this trap, no one will be able to stop us!" The first cackled.
"The world of Middle Earth will be at our mercy!"
"I like cheese."
The two other shadows turned to stare at the one who had spoken.
"Cheese will rule the world." The third explained.
"Not in this fanfiction." The second corrected.
"OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo...the third sighed.
The three fell into silence once again, when suddenly the light switch was flipped on.
"What are you guys doing in the dark?" A girl with dark brown hair asked.
"AAAAAAAA!" The first shadow, now revealed as Mousie, screamed, clutching at her eyes, and writhing on her back, "THE LIGHT THE LIGHT IS BURNING MY EYEBALLS TO A CRISP!"
"Turn off the light, Monkeygurl!" The second shadow/Frogy commanded.
"No! It's the fourteenth of January in Middle Earth, and you know what THAT means."
"THAT CHEESE WILL TRULY RULE THE EARTH!" The third shadow/Geon shouted, but now her hair was dyed magenta.
"Uh...no..." Monkeygurl said, looking slightly disturbed, "It means that it's Angel's B-day."
"THE LIGHT! TURN IT OFF! I HATES IT! I HATES IT FOREVER AND EVER!"
"Shuddup Mousie."
"Ok."
Just then Angel came waltzing in doing the monkey. "It's my b-day and I'll rule the world if I want to!" She sang as she jumped around and waved her butt.
"May I continue writhing on the floor and clutching at my eyes?" Mousie asked Frogy.
"No."
"Ok"
"Cummon!" Angel prompted, "Celebrate with me! I've got a surprise planned for my b-day that you all will like!"
"Will cheese rule the world?" Geon asked, happily.
"Uh...no..." Monkeygurl replied, looking disturbed again.
"Then I'm not coming!" Geon pouted, crossing her arms and trying to look as stubborn as a mule.
"Will you be showing all three LOTR movies?" Frogy and Mousie both screamed at the same time, hopping up and down.
"NO!" Angel screamed! "YOU JUST HAD A LOTR-MARATHON YESTERDAY THAT ENDED BY YOU ALL SOBBING AT THE END OF ROTK BECAUSE SAM AND FRODO HAD TO LEAVE!"
"Oohh..." Mousie sniffled, "That was so sad..."
Immediately both Mousie and Frogy began sobbing over how sad they thought it was that Frodo had to leave, while Geon contemplated the deep mysteries of cheese and penguins.
"Both of you stop crying so that I can tell you why you'll want to come to my party!" Angel said, smacking both of the sobbing teens.
Both teens ignored her, and Angel was forced to tell Monkeygurl to slap both of them.
"Alright..." Monkeygurl grinned evilly as she rolled up her sleeves.
Frogy and Mousie screamed, and ran and hid behind Geon for cover.
"Now listen to why you'll want to come to my party!" Angel demanded, "I'll be having the Fellowship over for ice-cream and cake."
Frogy, Mousie, and Geon jumped up and began screaming: "Now we'll get our bishis!"
"No." Angel said firmly.
"No? No what?" Geon asked, thinking that perhaps cheese would not rule the world after all.
"No, you can't get your bishis."
"But-" The three protested at once.
"No. You have to be on good behavior, or else I'll call the Witch King of Agmar to come and get you." Angel replied, exercising her authority over the three.
"I'm actually quite surprised that you KNOW who the Witch King of Agmar is." Frogy said, getting ready to recount exactly HOW the Witch King of Agmar came into being.
"NO!" Angel screamed, covering her ears, "I AM NOT LISTENING TO THE HISTORY OF THE WITCH KING AGAIN!"
Frogy sighed.
"How did you get PJ to agree to borrow the Fellowship for the day?" Geon asked.
"Easy," Angel replied, looking proud, "The Almighty Puppy Eyes and Oober Powerful Crocodile Tears."
"That explains it." Mousie, who had been a first-hand witness of the powerful Puppy Eyes and the Crocodile Tears, sighed.
"So are you all going to come to the party, or just sit here, dreaming of Cheese?" Monkeygurl demanded.
"Yummmm..." Geon sighed, "Cheese..."
Mousie snapped her fingers in front of Geon's face. "Think Samwise Gamgee." She commanded.
Geon immediately perked up. "So where are they?"
In the Mines of Morea, PJ was having a talk with the Fellowship.
"So, that's why you have to go to the party." He explained.
"I like parties!" Pippin squeaked, "They have food at parties!"
"Will the location be CLEAN?" Legolas asked, hands on his hips questioningly, "Because if it's not clean, then I'll have to take a three- hour disinfectory shower."
"Be brave, Legolas of the Mirkwood realm." Aragorn commanded, striking a pose and looking manly.
Legolas put on a pouty-face and stalked away.
"NO!" Frodo screamed, "Legolas left, and he can see the best! If he goes, then no one will be able to see danger, and no one will be able to save me!" Frodo began to sob.
"Gtheotd ghtieo thsesd." Boromir said, trying to be comforting, though his words were muffled by the gag.
"STOP TALKING TO FRODO!" Sam shouted, and hit Boromir over the head once or twice.
"The impact of a frying-pan on the scull of the son of a Steward can cause damage." Gandalf said, wisely.
Everyone turned to stare at Gandalf.
"He actually said something that was relevant to the situation..." Gimly said in awe.
"Let's have a party!" PJ suggested.
"A party! I love parties! Drinks all around!" Someone from the shadows laughed drunkenly.
Legolas looked around uncomfortably.
"Who was that?" Aragorn asked suspiciously in a manly way.
"Wrong movie." PJ sighed.
"So what about that party?" Merry asked just before he bumped into the wall.
"What party?" Pippin asked.
"The party you'll be attending." PJ replied.
"I don't wanna attend a party!" Frodo whined.
"If Mr. Frodo doesn't wanna attend the party," Sam warned, "Then Mr. Frodo doesn't have to attend the party."
"I'm the director!" PJ yelled, "and if I tell you to go somewhere, then you'll go there! If I tell you to do something, then you'll do it! If I say 'Let's do that scene again', then you'll do that scene again until I'm happy with it!" PJ ranted.
"I don't wanna go." Frodo replied, crossing his arms.
"Do you want me to open the set for fans and fan-girls?" PJ asked, grinning.
"You wouldn't!" Legolas, Pippin, and Frodo screamed. Aragorn, Sam, Merry, and Boromir looked nervous. Gimly and Gandalf seemed perfectly calm however.
"Wouldn't I?" PJ smirked evilly.
"Huddle!" Aragorn shouted, raising his sword into the air in a manly way.
"You're gonna put an eye out with that thing..." Gimly muttered, then remembered his ax, and began further plans to kill Aragorn and get his ax back.
The group huddled around in a close circle, and PJ waited impatiently as they whispered among themselves, trying to decide on what to do.
Finally, Gandalf, being the leader of the group, despite his total lack of presentness, stood before PJ and said: "Hamburgers were once cows."
"Umm...would anyone like to translate?" PJ asked, sweatdroping.
"Language is a tool given to only those with mouths!" Gandalf replied.
"Can he be turned off?"
"Beware of the evil plot bunnies!"
"Someone? Anyone?"
"Do not mistake me for a pussycat of few hair-balls! I'm am not trying to eat you!"
"Gandalf?" Aragorn asked.
"Yes, future king of Lublublabla?"
"Why don't you let me speak?" He suggested.
"Alright," Gandalf consented, "But beware, he is quick with a light- sabor."
"I think you're talking about Saruman..." Merry corrected, as he tripped over Gimli's boot.
"PJ, we have decided that because of you're threa-erm...convincing words," Aragorn said, trying to be hot, "we will attend this party."
"Ok," PJ said as he walked away, "But you'd better hurry and take get ready, it starts in only an hour and a half."
"Three half hours for us to prepare,
Seven seats to divvy on a bus,
Nine of us and one sink to share.
One fate to suffer for us
In the land of Fan-Girl City, and PJ doesn't care.
One Party to rule us all,
One Party to brand us,
One Party to bring us all,
And in the darkness land us
In the land of Fan-Girl City, and PJ doesn't care."
Gandalf sighed.
"You know," Merry said, just before bumping into Legolas, "I think he chooses when he wants to remember things."
"Eek!" Legolas shrieked as Merry's dirt came into contact with him.
It was very dark in the deepest-darkest-most-dirty chasms of Moria, and Geon, Mousie, and Frogy were traveling down them to try to reach a place known only to Frogy.
"So what are we doing?" Mousie asked.
"You sound like Pippin." Geon commented.
"Hey! Pippin's MY sec-fav!" Frogy shouted.
"What?" Mousie teased, "Leggy-chan's not good enough for you?"
"Traitor!" Frogy shrieked as she jumped at Mousie.
Immediately the two were engaged in a semi-life-or-death struggle. The sounds of the scuffling echoing through the entire area of the mines.
"Shuddup!" Geon commanded, "or you'll wake up the squarks!"
All three of them shuddered in unison like they only do in cartoons.
"What are we doing down here, anyway?" Mousie asked.
"We are going to find Queen BulFrog." Frogy replied.
"Who's that?" Geon asked.
"The queen of the bullfrogs."
"Ah..."
"Cummon, I have to talk to her before the party!"
"Why?" Mousie asked in a sing-song voice.
"Because there's a way that I MIGHT be able to get Frodo, Sam, and Legolas."
"Why?"
"Because we're all head-over-heels for them."
"Why?"
"Probably because they're all so good looking when they're dirty...except for Legolas. He doesn't get dirty."
"Why?"
"Because he's an elf?"
"Why?"
"Ok. You can stop any time now."
"Why?"
"Because we're getting annoyed!"
"Why?"
Frogy screamed, and continued walking, ignoring Mousie.
The threesome continued walking through the mines, Mousie's 'why's beginning to grow fainter as they traveled into the deep depths of the mines.