Bejee bonus chapter…
…for those who care
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In accordance with FF.net's new regulations:
includes "Inspiration behind Vegeta ½" and "'veggie's boo' review" at bottom
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Disclaimer: as always, DBZ and related products do not belong to me… the most I have are some posters, key chains, DVDs, video tapes… nothing much, really… So, ya see, since I'm quite obviously a poor college student squandering her college tuition on DBZ stuff, I don't own it. Yet. Who know, maybe Santa will leave the rights to me under the Christmas tree. ::crosses fingers::
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Obviously there was a lot of time spent over in China that hadn't been made mention of in the other chapters. After all, Vegeta was up very early – crack of dawn early – and not even an hour later he and Goku were faced with the odd situation of Vegeta being the amazing gender-switching man. However, and this goes pretty much unsaid, since Goku and Vegeta were at Bulma's around lunch, they had spent quite a few hours in China. Here are some little blurbs of what went on behind the scenes, between the "pat-pat" test and Goku's plotting of passing off Veggie as Bejee.
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She put her, now rather small, fist to her cheek and half-noticed Goku do in kind across the campfire. Sighing briefly, not quite noticing how Goku also did the same, she put her other fist to her other cheek and rested both elbows on her knees, slouching.
Okay, she noticed when he did it that time.
"What, Kakarroto?" she growled out.
"Ah, Bejee, you wanna practice?"
"Practice what?"
"You know, you wanna learn how to be a girl, right?"
"Why did I agree to be a girl again?"
"You didn't have much choice, you know, after you fell in the water…"
"That's now what I mean, idiot! I mean, why am I going to pretend to be some anonymous girl in my own place of dwelling?"
"Eh… you mean 'house,' right?"
"Kakarrotto…"
"Er – right – 'place of dwelling!' We decided to go with that idea because over all it is easier to avoid hot or warm water than cold water."
"What about taking a bath?"
"What, do you normally take a bath with another person?"
"…point taken." Vegeta leaned back and tilted her head to the side, scrutinizing Goku from across the tiny campfire they had made. "Fine then, Kakarrotto: make a woman out of me."
"Be- Be- Bejee! Can't we just stay friends?"
Goku woke up five minutes later with quite a large headache and singe marks all over the front of his gi.
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"Now, Bejee, let's see your walk." Gok
"My what?"
"Your walk. The way you move. The poor man's mode of transportation. The way you move. The way you go. Your signature gait. Now march!"
Grumbling under her breath, Vegeta stomped along the dirt, soliciting a moan and yell from Goku.
"No, no, no! That's all wrong! Women don't walk like that – you walk like you've got a stick up your – ah, I mean, you seem sort of … 'anal retentive,'" shouted Goku rushing to stop Vegeta before she flattened the dirt anymore.
"'Anal retentive?'"
"Ah, I've heard Bulma use it once or twice," smiled Goku cheesily. 'Yeah, always about you.'
Vegeta grumbled. "Well, you show me how to walk correctly, if you're so smart."
"Gladly," nodded Goku, and he did just that.
Vegeta barely caught her jaw before it hit the ground.
"Uy… How'd you do that?" Vegeta squawked, staring at Goku who sauntered back over to him, putting just the right amount of shake into his hips to give himself a more feminine air without it being disturbing.
"I grew up around women – Bulma, Launch – who tended to go after guys. I've seen them practice."
"They practice how to walk?" Vegeta gaped in disbelief.
"Sure – they said it's to help snag a guy. Besides, when you've been married as long as I have, you tend to notice these things." Goku grinned.
"Notice?"
"Yeah… in fact, Chichi did it a whole lot right up till we had Gohan… she doesn't it do it quite so much anymore, but when she does…"
"Stop right there. I do not want to hear anymore," Vegeta groaned, going slightly green in the face.
"What, I just was going to say that– "
"No, I don't want to hear it."
"Fine, suit yourself," Goku shrugged. 'I was just going to say that she wanted jewelry or something.'
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"Lemme see your hands." Goku stuck his hand out, waiting for Vegeta to give him her hands.
Vegeta blinked at Goku's hand and then looked at her own. Lifting them, she waved it a bit at Goku's face before placing her hands back in her lap.
"Ve-ge-ta…" groaned Goku, and reaching over, plucked both her hands out of her lap and placed them on his knees, leaning over to look at them.
"Whaa—Kakarrotto? Leggo my hands!" snapped Vegeta, starting to pull them back.
"Ya know, I think we need to give them a bit of a manicure, you kinda ruffed them up a bit with all the roughhousing we've been doing." Goku squinted an eye thoughtfully at a pinky nail.
"I'm a martial artist! Of course they're going to get scuffed up!" Vegeta grumbled, pulling her hands away. "I'm not going to let you give my hands a 'manny-can' or whatever… you'll screw them up."
"Fine, we'll just build the whole martial arts thing into your image, make you a tomboy… it'll be easier to work with." Goku rubbed his chin in thought. "You still have to work on your walk though."
Vegeta groaned.
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"It's been an hour! Can I stop walking now?" Vegeta whined – yes, whined. She hated to admit it, but this walking deal was tiring. And to think that women walked like that all day! They were a lot stronger than given credit for.
"I'm sorry! It's just that you walk so stiff. Like you're in the army or something."
"I was trained to walk like that!"
"No, I've seen you walk – it's this eerie kind of glide – I guess this is the female version of your glide… somewhere between 'graceful' and 'stick in the mud,'" Goku nodded.
"Ehhhh…" gurgled Vegeta, slumping over so that his arms hung at his sides limply.
"To bad there isn't any DVD players around here – I could play you this one scene of 'Some Like It Hot' – great movie."
"'Some Like it Hot?'" Vegeta blinked.
"Um, this movie is about two guys who are on the run from the mafia go in drag and end up with this touring all girl troupe of musicians…"
"What? What sort of movie is that supposed to be? And here all your friends thought you were so innocent!"
"No, no, it's not like that! It's a good movie – one of the best comedies ever made… It's just this one scene with the main girl lead—"
"Which guy is that?"
"Wha–? No, Bejee, the real-girl girl lead, some blonde, has this great walk – Bulma says so – if you studied it I bet you could get it down perfect."
Vegeta blinked thoughtfully. "Uwaa… no. If it's a great walk, and if I do, as you say, do it perfectly, then wouldn't it clash with the martial-artist-tomboy image?"
"Ohh…" pouted Goku. "But I wanted to see Bejee do the walk…"
"Not on your life, Kakarrotto!" roared Vegeta, cheeks turning a rather becoming shade of pink.
Goku sighed. "Okay, then… does Bejee want to see me do the walk again?"
"Okay, now pay close attention to the positioning of my body and my movements, particularly the hips – this is very important," and Goku strutted back and forth over the ground, Vegeta paying close attention to every detail.
"Ah… these honored visitors are most strange," sighed the guide as he passed on the way to go find some other lost tourist. "One have look like girl, the other have move like girl. It very distressing to this poor guide."
~Owari~
::sighs:: I can never quite get the guide right…
"Some Like It Hot" does not belong to me… I don't even have the movie! ::sobs:: Everybody go watch it now! Er… after you finish reading this, I mean.
Hope you've enjoyed this bonus chapter, see below for the removed "chapters of "Vegeta ½."
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And now, in accordance with FF.net's new regulations:
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Inspiration behind Vegeta ½
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Hi! Recently updated. This is just a little, uh, "alert," for what, I don't know, but I wanted to put it up. Also, the next segment might be interesting for those of you who are curious as to why I started writing this ficcy in the first place. So here you go.
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Oh wait! One more thing. I made lotsa cookies (since Tippy ate all the others) and since I'm feeling generous right now, I'm going to give out a bunch of cookies to all of you who got it right.
Chuquita (you get two cookies for being first to respond and mentioning the nyo-bo… when I remember, I'll correct it ^.^;;)
Also: Spencers13, kitkat, and Kinosei. Each of you – have a cookie!
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Well, truth to tell, it wasn't just Chuquita and the other fanfic writers on the net who gave me the inspiration behind this, and it wasn't Ranma ½ either. No, what really got me to do this was… it was one of the last new DBZ episodes. I was sitting down watching it and my mom was sitting in the next chair over. I was suddenly struck by how effeminate Goku in SSJ3 looked and I commented on it to mummy-dearest. .
Mikki: Hey Mom, doesn't he look kinda, you know, feminine?
Mom: Yeah, especially with that chest?
Mikki: Uh… wha–?
Mom: Well, look at him… looks like he has boobs.
Mikki: ::blinks:: … Um, Mom… I was talking about his face… even if he doesn't have any eyebrows.
Mom: Well, it still looks like he has big boobs.
Mikki: Mom! Please… can't you say breasts or chest for once?!
(On screen was a close-up of Goku – this was on my DVD, but I decided to check out the English version – and his head was tilted down. I had put in on pause and you could seem some of his shoulders and chest area. I still can't figure out if she meant it was because he had a really bulky chest all powered up ^^;;)
Yup… that's my Mom for you. O.o
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Yes, I have to give great thanks to Chuquita (what with Kayka and Veggilina (sp?) and all) and also to Ryukodomo and various others fanfiction authors, all of whom have provided me with many hours of entertainment.
And a hearty thanks to Akira Toriyama and Rumiko Takahashi, to whom belong DragonballZ and Ranma ½ respectively, and without whom we wouldn't have these wonderful characters and plotlines (and in many cases lots of plot holes – thanks Akira.)
To you two wonderful manga-ka, long may you both draw!
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Vegeta ½ Author's Note – "veggie's boo" review
Well, well, well…
I just received a rather… rude review that went as follows (a copy-paste job):
The following review has been submitted to: Vegeta½ Chapter: 1From: veggie's boo()
you ain't notin' but a fake cause tahat fic is already out BITCH
I must say that I had done nothing of the sort and that this hooligan has the grammar and spelling skills of a third-grader. No, wait, that would be insulting third-graders. Truth to tell, if "veggie's boo" is suggesting that I might be ripping it off, say, Red Kasei's "Kakarotto½," Miyanon's "Onnafied," or perhaps even Callimogua's "Veggie Girl 3 0" I can say assuredly that I did not copy it. Now if maybe he/she/it had given me a reference as to where I had taken it from… can't imagine where at all since my writing style is my own and I don't really know of other people who would call Vegeta 'Bejee.'
If someone has the gall to suggest that I would do something as heinous as copying or plagiarizing, please be sure to have the proof/evidence to back up your hollow words.
Thank you,
mkh2