Disclaimer: This story is a not-for-profit fan work based on Akira Toriyamas Dragon Ball series. I claim no affiliation with Bird Studios, Toei or FUNimation.
Yume
It wasn't supposed to turn out this way.
I look down at the battlefield from this high-up cliff, and I see nothing but shattered dreams scattered below me.
The world's dream of peace.
Our dreams of defeating Cell.
Chichi's dreams for our son's future.
His dreams of a way out.
All these dreams I carried on my shoulders. And now they've fallen to pieces around me.
Watching the scene from afar, I see that Cell has inflated himself like a balloon. He laughs insanely, desperately at us all as he prepares to self-destruct. Gohan has fallen to his knees before the monster, driving his fists into the ground out of sheer, helpless frustration. He's blaming himself, I can see it in his face. But he shouldn't be blaming himself. He should be blaming me. I told him, the ever-gentle Gohan, to kill…
Realization hits me for the second time today like a slap in the face.
Oh, Kami-sama, I broke him.
I broke my little boy.
You know, I've never really thought of him that way before—my little boy. Always my son, yes, but never my little boy. That was always Chichi's thing, not mine. But right now I can see the truth in it. He looks so small from here, so small in front of that bloated monster called Cell.
He never wanted to fight, not really. I set him up to be backed into a corner by Cell, and he flat out refused to fight back. I watched as he was tortured before my very eyes, all because I relied on him for something that was not in his nature. I made him suffer, put him in a situation that utterly tore him apart. He dreamed of a way out of all this, a peaceful way to… well, restore peace. But I completely disregarded that dream and, in doing so, doomed all of the other dreams that rested on my shoulders. Discarded dreams lying at my feet…
Yes, he finally snapped. He ascended to a level of power the rest of us would never have thought possible. And I have never been prouder of my son than I was in that moment. But it changed him. He toyed with his opponent, something he has never done. He enjoyed Cell's pain, refusing to kill him in order to prolong the monster's suffering. If anyone had told me he would do that, I wouldn't have believed them. Gohan, taking pleasure in someone else's pain? Never, not even his worst enemy's. Yet it happened. And here we are.
He's really going to do it. Cell is really going to destroy the Earth. Unless…
Yes. There is a way.
My gaze lingers on the battlefield. All the shattered dreams that have fallen from my shoulders, discarded dreams beneath my feet…
I turn toward my friends, and it is in this moment that my mind is made up. They entrusted the hopes and dreams of the world to me, and I have failed them.
"I'm sorry, you guys," I hear myself say, "but I can't think of any other way… Goodbye."
Realization dawns on their faces one by one, and the last thing I hear as I teleport to the battlefield is the echo of Kuririn screaming my name.
I feel my gi snapping in the intense wind as I land next to Cell. My eyes meet those of my son, and a fresh stab of pain and guilt shoots through my heart. I'm sorry, Gohan, I think, but after all I've put you through, I have to do this. It's the only way I can even begin to set things right.
"You put up a good fight, Gohan. I'm proud of you," I say gently. "Tell your mom I'm sorry… that I had to do this."
He looks up at me with big eyes. "D-Daddy?" he says, his voice wavering ever so slightly.
One final wink and three simple words: "Goodbye, my son." I turn my attention to the shocked balloon that is Cell and focus my ki on one final teleportation.
Time to atone for those dreams that were lost.
Time to set things right…
Author's Note (Oct. 2010): The title "Yume" comes from the Japanese word for dream. My inspiration for this piece came from the fourth DBGT ending theme (Sabitsuita Machine Gun de Ima wo Uchinuko), specifically a line I've seen translated as, "if I could see the moment when I abandoned my dream." While I don't see Goku as the type to angst for too long and keep beating himself up, I'd like to think that the gravity of the situation at the Cell Games registered, and that there was more than just straight up heroism driving his decision. While this isn't a particularly long piece, I hope it did an appropriate, passable job capturing a different side of Goku.