Vegeta ½

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a Goku and Vegeta buddy fic

by

mkh2

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Disclaimer: If I owned Dragonball Z or Ranma ½, I wouldn't be in college right now… I'd be taking a nap.

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In "Vegeta ½," Vegeta's day starts pretty normally, until he finds himself being talked into going to China with Goku for some sparring time, whereupon he falls into the cursed springs, turning into a girl. Poor 'Geta! What happens to the poor saiyajin no ouji? Will Goku spill the beans? Oh dear!

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Part of this chapter is based on an incredibly short story I had made up while groaning about how I can't have any of my favorite foods (including some very delectable looking apples sitting on the counter) due to the recent removal of my wisdom teeth (hasn't kept me from eating French Fries though!) That story, which is so short I'm probably not going to post it, bears the same title as this chapter with the following description: "Apples and Worms: Vegeta always keeps his eyes closed when he eats apples for fear of worms, but is that better or worse?"

Hope you like

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" " – denotes speech

' ' – denotes thinking.

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Vegeta ½

Chapter 7 – Apples and Worms

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Another day, another dollar… does not apply to Vegeta. After smashing the blaring alarm clock with a well-aimed fist, she rolled out of bed tiredly and, walking over to the closet and opening it, she froze, taking in her new wardrobe.

"Buruma!" she yelled.

~

Vegeta sat fidgeting at the kitchen table, wearing a rosy red sundress with little purple flowers sprinkled all over it and a tan sweater, light and airy, resting on the back of the chair. She glared at nothing in particular, not even noticing the butter slowly dripping off the pancakes sitting in front of her.

Bulma sat a few seats down from her and frowned over at the slouching girl.

"It's not that bad," she started again, "I think it's a good idea for you to wear a dress, especially with the guys coming over today like I told you yesterday." She poked at her slowly dwindling short stack. "Besides, it looks nice on you, I could never pull it off."

"Keh," Bejee snorted.

Bulma frowned. Another yell woke her up this morning, coming from the petite girl in Vegeta's wing, pronouncing her name the way Vegeta did. She had called her Bulma up 'til then, when she did say her name that is, but, in her fury, started shrieking Buruma this and Buruma that. It sort of made sense that she was mad, after all, she had put all her clothes in last night herself, only to wake up and find only the dresses and skirts left. It made a lot of sense that she'd be mad, since the girl didn't even want any of those dresses and skirts to begin with.

Suddenly… *splat!* Lo and behold, who should transmit himself onto Bejee's poor, belated pancakes but the infamous Goku.

"Uh, oops, guess I was a little off again," chuckled Goku, hopping off the table. "Yech! Syrup! Hey, the pancakes are cold… got up a little late, did we Bejee?" Goku frowned at the mess on the seat of his pants before smiling sheepishly. "Good thing I cam prepared this time, have an extra pair of pants with me… I'll just go change in the bathroom, 'kay, Bulma?" He darted out of the room.

"Well, that was random," murmured Bulma, sipping her coffee.

Vegeta just stared sadly at her ruined breakfast.

~

Goku soon ambled back into the kitchen, a new pair of pants on to replace the other soiled pair that was hanging on his arm.

"Hi, Bunni, mind if I pop this in the wash?" he chirped, waving at Bulma's mother who was happily bustling around in the kitchen.

"Oh, hello Goku dear, I'll take that. Want some breakfast? I had made some more because something awful happened to poor Bejee's panakes… poor dear didn't have much of an appetite this morning and it was ruined before she had the chance to take even one bite!" Bunni smiled naively, not noticing Goku's embarrassed smile.

"Er, yeah, the pancakes were my fault… wait, you mean she didn't get up late?" Goku blinked. "I thought that was why her pancakes were cold."

"Oh no, the poor dear got up early, same as yesterday, but she's been awfully upset over being forced to wear a dress."

"She's wearing a dress!" Goku's eyes widened. "I didn't even notice!" He darted over to Vegeta, who was hastily shoveling down her new batch of pancakes, and tried to see what she was wearing. However, since she was sitting so close to the table he couldn't really tell. 'A pink… something… with a tan shirt?' wondered Goku.

"Hey Bejee, what's that?" Goku pointed to something just a little above her head.

"What's what?" Vegeta growled around her food.

"There's something yellow and wiggly…"

"A worm!" Vegeta shrieked, jumping on her chair. "Get it off, get it off, get it off!"

"Oh… Bejee… it's just a joke…" Goku breathed, blinking at her as she danced around nervously on her chair. "Ah… nice dress…"

"Worm…" Vegeta blinked and glared at Goku. "You tricked me!" She jumped at Goku, who caught her lightly around the waist.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you… I mean you're wearing a dress," Goku stared at Vegeta. "You know, I was joking when I told you to get a dress…"

"It was Buruma's idea," she growled. "And she stole the rest of my clothes to make me wear this when the others come over!" She glowered up at him a moment, remembering something. "She thought I was flirting with you."

Goku sighed. "I thought that was what she meant when she said we were being too chummy." He blinked thoughtfully before setting Vegeta back on the ground. "Anyways, you don't have to be so upset about the dress. It looks good on you."

"Wha- really?" Vegeta looked down at herself. "It feels so awkward."

"If it makes you feel any better, you can consider it a… ceremonial robe… for, um… your presentation to the… uh… people of the town?" Goku mused, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

"I guess," Vegeta tugged in annoyance at the side of the dress. "Stupid thing doesn't fit right."

"It doesn't?" Goku looked her over, walking around her to see what she meant. "It looks alright to me."

"The chest is too tight."

"And the waist?" Goku noticed Vegeta was tugging at it.

"Room to spare."*

"Well, you can put a chain belt on to… accent your figure," Goku scrunched up his nose thoughtfully as he bent over to see how much fabric was left over. "I've seen it in a magazine."

"Okay, I guess… I think I have one, Buruma bought me lots of junk and accessories yesterday." Nodding her head, she went back to her room.

Goku wiggled his nose thoughtfully as she left. "Hey, Bunni?"

"Yes, Goku dear?"

"You have anymore of those pancakes?"

"Here!" Bunni smiled brightly as she placed a towering stack of the steamy hotcakes on the table.

"Great! Where's the syrup?"

~

Goku sat on one of the chairs in Bulma's lab, fidgeting slightly as he peered over her shoulder.

"You know, Goku, I could get this done faster if you didn't stare so much," Bulma said dryly.

"Sorry, it's just she really wants it done quick." Goku tugged gently at a loose thread on the chair before spinning himself in it (he loved those chairs.)

"Yes, well, I won't have much time to work on it today since the gang is coming over," Bulma said, pushing her reading glasses up. "You know, this water looks really crazy, ne?"

"Ha, yeah, that's true," Goku nodded thoughtfully. 'So let's see, this'll be the third day… oh… and we haven't really done much to solve this problem. Vegeta's taking this pretty well so far…'

"Hey Kakarrotto?" called a voice from over at the door. Goku turned in his chair.

"Ah? Oh, hey Bejee, what's up?"

"I'm bored, let's go to the GR, okay?"

"But, you don't have any clothes to wear to train in, remember? Only skirts and stuff until Bulma gives 'em back," Goku said.

Vegeta gritted her teeth, annoyed. "Okay, so let's go to the kitchen or watch some TV." She glared daggers at him. 'Get the hint, baka, I wanna talk!'

Goku smiled sheepishly, "Okay, let's go to the kitchen… I wanna get a sandwich."

Vegeta smiled slightly. "Sure thing, Kakarrotto."

Bulma watched them anxiously over her shoulder as they left.

'Are you sure you're not flirting, Bejee?' she wondered.

~

Goku grinned as he finished stacking the deli meats and topped it with some extra garnish, mustard and mayo before placing the top slice of bread on it and slicing it up. "Nice little snack, eh?" he commented to Vegeta, who had been silently watching him in his preparations. "So, what do you want to talk about?"

"I don't know," Vegeta shrugged before walking over to the fridge and opening it. "I'm bored. I guess I could get a snack to, until the entertainment gets here."

"Entertainment?" Goku asked, taking a bite out of one of the slices. "What do you mean?"

"Oh, you know, Bulma said your friends are coming over today, right?" Vegeta pulled one of the white boxes with the red ribbon on it out of the back and, grabbing a spoon, sat down at the table.

"Aw, Bejee, that's not very nice," Goku shook his head. "You should try and get along with them, after all, you're not supposed to have anything against them. So give 'em a chance. You might like 'em."

"Whatever," said Vegeta, and she opened the box.

Goku's mouth started to water. Sitting in front of Vegeta was the most beautiful parfait he had ever seen, mounds of chocolate and cream and sugar with strawberries and candied flowers and mint leaves and peppermint sticks, all in a beautiful frosted rainbow glass.

"Be-Bejee, where'd you get that?" he squeaked out, sandwich forgotten.

"Over at the mall the other day," she took up a small spoonful and tasted it lightly, eyes closed, savoring the taste. "Mmm, it tastes so good. This is only my second." She peeked out of under her eyelashes (thank Kami, she's got naturally long ones) and tried hard not to smirk at his face.

"Ah, Bejee, you, ah, you think I could have some?" Goku was practically drooling as he stared alternately between the parfait and Vegeta's expression. It looked sooooo gooooood.

"Share? This is barely enough for me… besides, you have a sandwich," Vegeta blinked innocently at Goku, trying hard not to laugh.

"Oh, but, I'll give you half of my sandwich," Goku gestured to the barely touched sandwich.

"Mmmmmm…. No." Vegeta took another bite of the parfait. "I mean, you did leave me to the horrors of a shopping spree with Bulma yesterday. Why should I give you any of this parfait?"

"But Bejee! I had to! Bulma was getting all suspicious… even the most tomboyish of girls like some girly thing," Goku whined, slumping over the table. "Besides, you needed clothes, and you're too small to fit in Bulma's clothes."

"Well, I like this girly thing," gestured Vegeta to the parfait, "and I'm not sharing." She took another bite for, picking up the parfait, she walked over to the refrigerator. "I wonder if there's anymore cherries?"

"Please! What do you want! I'll do anything for just a bite?" Goku was on the verge of tears. He had never seen such a beautiful parfait before and he desperately wanted a taste.

"Anything?" Vegeta paused in her "search." She turned to look at him thoughtfully before melting. He really looked quite pathetic, with those watery puppy dog eyes and the trembling lower lip. "Oh, whatever, just help me keep this charade up." She grabbed the other box and placed it in front of him. "Here."

Goku blinked before quickly opening the box and cheering. "Yay, Bejee, you're the best!" For, in the other box, was the twin of Bejee's parfait… with sprinkles.

~

Bulma peeked in on the Goku and Bejee, having heard Goku's shout of joy. She shook her head… so that was why she had looked interested in hearing that Goku liked sweets so much. Was she telling the truth about not flirting with him? She suddenly paused. What if… what if she wasn't flirting with him before, but she was flirting with him now? She frowned before heading to her room to get cleaned up.

~

Goku and Vegeta, having finished their parfaits (Goku still had a happy, glazed look to his face), were now snacking on apples, Goku saying that he read somewhere that eating apples removes 99% of food particles and bacteria from your mouth.** As he ate, he glanced over at Vegeta's face. Her eyes were closed.

"Hey, Bejee," hissed Goku as he leaned over to her. "Bejee."

"What, Kakarrotto?" she mumbled around the apple.

"Why are your eyes closed?" Goku asked. "Every time I see you eat apples, you keep your eyes closed."

Vegeta paused in mid bite. "Er, it's…" She scrunched her nose up thoughtfully. "Worms."

"Worms?" Goku blinked.

"Worms, or any bug that might be in the apple."

"Ah," Goku nodded his head wisely then frowned. "But, isn't it worse?"

Vegeta stiffened. "What?"

"Well, if you see the worm, you can avoid it. Or, just think about it, how many worms do you think you might have eaten already?" Goku asked, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"Idiot!" Vegeta threw her apple at him. "Why didn't you tell me that before!" she snapped.

"I didn't know! I hadn't really thought about why you kept your eyes closed. I just figured you really like apples!" Goku rubbed the tiny welt on his forehead where the apple got smashed. He looked at the decimated apple that now was crumpled on the table. "If it makes you feel any better there weren't any worms in this apple, unless you already ate it."

"No, it doesn't," Vegeta paled and got up, hand over her mouth.

"Huh? Where you goin', Bejee?"

"To the bathroom – I have to hurl," Vegeta squeaked before rushing for the door.

"Oops." Goku sighed. "What a waste of a perfectly good apple… and a perfectly heavenly parfait." He took another bite out of his apple. "Eww… looks like I got the worm."

~Owari~

*This line is from one of the books from Ranma ½. In it, Ranma needed some clothes to wear while the rest of his were in the laundry. The girls insisted he couldn't go around naked (or at least, in his boxers), so, in girl form, they stuck him into Akane's clothes. Naturally, after that little bit of dialogue with Nabiki, the middle daughter, Akane pounded Ranma.

**'Tis true, I kid you not.

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The "party" is in the next chapter – I felt this was getting too long.

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One note for the previous chapter: actually, I don't think Goku is really much of a sweets person, you normally see him digging into meat and potatoes, rice and beans, and other manly stuff (my usual grub – I like American, so what if I'm a Hispanic mix, I hate enchiladas! Spicy, yech!) I don't even recall ever see him eating from the many trays of sweets that Bunni, Buruma's mom, had offered him on occasion, though there was this dub crack about how he "shouldn't have eaten that pound cake" in the episode were he was training in the remodeled Saiyajin space craft on the way to Namek-sei (he broke his bed when he sat on it after eating all the food in the (enormous) fridge (it was easily three times his size!) for a "snack"… of course, the gravity was still on, so I guess he could train while he napped!

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You'd think Vicodin would really "dope" a person up – my sister, when she had her teeth removed, seemed very drunk, going straight for the general anesthetics to Vicodin… they said that she was talking (and she thought she was speaking normally) and walking like a drunkard… However, I guess I'm getting immune to painkillers or something (due to all my migraines, tension headaches, cluster headaches, etc.…) When I came out of surgery, I blinked my eyes ('Hey! Who put my glasses back on me?'), sat up, and walked, almost completely unaided (the nurse only touched my elbow since my knees were only slightly wobbly) to the "resting area", and I talked normally, except for the occasional slur I got from the mouthful of gauze –bleh, yucky poo! So, my sister says I'd probably be a good drunk. (Thank you so much, Tippy…) Maybe when I'm old (like, say I'm married and want to celebrate my golden anniversary or something) I might try a little champagne… though probably never (if I want bubbly, I open up a can of Pepsi… my favorite drink, has been since I got the braces off back in 9th grade, though I probably wouldn't have gotten so addicted to the stuff if I had been allowed the occasional fizzy drink during the whole mouth-torture ordeal.) What has this to do with anything? I have no idea.

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I like being random, though it is getting harder and harder these days (hey, there goes that purple cow selling sodas again…) Today I woke up and thought I was still in the middle of my (very odd) dream… though, come to think of it, I bet if I could remember enough to write it down it would be a best seller. ^-^ I'm sick of being in school (seriously, I've had so many headaches, I'm experiencing all the lovely symptoms you'd have in the flu season, and considering all the meningitis – college students, duh – and West Nile Virus scares, I'm having a lovely time of it.)

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My sister, who is in her last year of high school, is taking yearbook for one of her electives (basically, she needed a filler class.) Sadly enough, this is part of what happened on the first day of class, according to my sister, who has enough weird things happening to her that she doesn't need to exaggerate. (AMPM stands for my sister's boyfriend, who is eight months younger than her and completely devoted to her ~ a total sweetie. ::pats him on the head:: The name is a joke on his actual initials, or at least the one he was supposed to have if they kept the first M.)

Teacher (reading attendance): AMPM – Yay! I have my computer!

AMPM & Tippy: …

Teacher (still looking at the class roll): and… Tippy? Yay! I have my dictionary!

~It turns out that the yearbook class is using a writing program that has neither a spell check nor a grammar check! ::faints in horror::~

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1 ½ hours, written the day after I wrote the other chapter. (17 minutes easy for all the pointless author's notes I typed.)