Disclaimer: The ever-wonderful J.K Rowling owns all but the journal idea.

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Chapter Thirteen: Christmas Time Again

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The Hogsmeade visit was today and I had to convince Hestia to spend the day with me since I told Stephan that I was. It would have looked bad if I had said that I couldn't go with him because I was spending the day with Hestia, and then I didn't.

I finished nearly all of my Christmas shopping, which saves me from having to worry about it later. If you'll remember, I'm making all of my friends four-way mirrors. I couldn't very well buy the mirrors with Hestia in tow, so we had to split up for a little bit.

We met back up in Three Broomsticks and when I arrived, Hestia was already seated with Sirius, Remus, Peter and James. Sirius and James decided to entertain us all by singing their own versions of Christmas Carols.

Sirius had a rather interesting rendition of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman". I believe it went something like this:

"God rest ye merry hippogriffs,

May nothing more you eat!

For Kettleburn's three fingers

Should be a tasty treat!"

"Jingle Bells, Remus smells!"

(Remus didn't think that was terribly funny.)

Speaking of Remus, he's finally forgiven Sirius, and everything is back to normal. Well, as normal as things get here at Hogwarts.

It was a very nice Hogsmeade trip; one of the best. I had a thoroughly enjoyable time with all of my friends.

I finally decided on what to give James for Christmas. I bought him a book entitled He Flew like a Madman: A Biography of the 'Dangerous' Dai Llewellyn by Kennilworthy Whisp. The title reminded me of James when he plays Quidditch. I hope he likes it.

Well, Hogwarts is ready for Christmas. Mistletoe can be found floating about catching unsuspecting couples. I hope I won't be subjected to that again this year. If I do get stuck underneath the mistletoe, I hope it's at least someone I know and am on good terms with. Wouldn't that be simply awful to have to kiss some random nobody who could be, for all you know, a Slytherin?

I think James knows that I don't want to be kissed, but then again, it's hard to tell what goes on in that mind of his.

I always dreamed that my first kiss would come from my true love. True love's first kiss; just like in the fairy tales. I know it's a bit childish, but can't a girl dream?

What I got was James Potter.

I guess he's a decent kisser, (like I would know) and it's not like he's repulsive or anything…he just wasn't exactly what I had in mind.

Today, 15 December was James's birthday, which I was unaware of until Sirius decided to lead the Gryffindor common room in a chorus of "Happy Birthday".

I feel so bad that I didn't get him anything! He didn't say a word about it and neither did anyone else. Apparently, everyone assumed I knew. Well, guess what? I didn't.

James said it was fine that I didn't get him anything, and that my presence on his birthday was enough for him. I must say that was rather sweet of him.

Oh bugger me. Remember when I said that James was going to help me make those four way mirrors?

Well, we were working on that today in the library. We decided the back would be best so that if one of my friends happened to come into the library, they wouldn't see their present. It took us the better part of an hour, but we got it done and they actually work!

As we got up to leave, I noticed that I couldn't move away from James. I looked up and sure enough, there was a sprig of mistletoe suspended in the air above us.

James sighed, pulled his wand out of his pocket and tried to dispose of the offending plant. Instead of getting rid of the mistletoe, the spell shot back at him and only his fast Quidditch reflexes kept him from having his hair burned off.

He yelled, "Fine!" at the mistletoe then he leaned down and gave me a kiss on the left cheek. But that didn't work either.

James: "I guess I'll have to kiss you then…not that I mind, but I know you do…Sorry."

He cupped my chin in his hands and pulled me close before kissing me softly on the mouth. I'm not really sure, but I think I might have ever so slightly kissed him back.

James has awfully soft lips for a lad. His hands are another story though; they're rough and callously from playing Quidditch.

It was awkward to kiss my friend, but I have to admit that…I kind of liked it. Now, this isn't to say I like him; I don't. I just like the way he kisses. Is that good or bad? I'll have to think on that one.

James: "Sorry, Lily. I guess I got carried away."

Me: "It's okay."

James: "You're still on about that whole first kiss thing aren't you?"

Me: "Maybe."

James: "Is it so bad that I was your first kiss?"

Me: "Well…I suppose I always figured that my first kiss would be something special…"

James: "It was special to me."

Me: "I know it was, and that's all jolly good for you, but what about me? You took away my first kiss."

James: "I…I didn't know you felt that way about it. But, you know, I can't take it back, and even if I could, I wouldn't."

Me: "Oh, and why's that?"

James: "Because it was my first kiss too."

I must have looked like a complete plank because my mouth dropped open and I started looking at him like he had suddenly grown an extra head. His first kiss came from me?

Me: "Are you serious?"

Sirius: "Of course he's not. I am!"

James: "That joke is dead, Sirius. It's been dead since second year."

Sirius: "Oh, but see, I rather enjoy telling that one, so we'll keep it."

James: "Can you please leave? We were talking."

Sirius: "Did you like my mistletoe?"

James: (dreamily) "Yeah…"

Me: "Your mistletoe? You put that thing there?"

Sirius: "Just trying to help a mate out, Lily."

Me: "Sirius, I know you mean well, but please keep your matchmaking schemes to yourself."

James: (to Sirius) "I thought I told you to stay out of it! I'll do it on my own!"

Sirius: "But you need help!"

James: "No, Padfoot, I don't. Trust me on this. I have to do it my way or it won't mean a thing in the end."

Me: "What are you talking about?"

Sirius: (to James) "Mate, if you keep going at the rate you're going, the end will never come. You don't have much time."

Me: "Fine, don't answer me."

James: "You think I don't know that?"

Sirius: "Then get busy."

James: "I can't. I have to take it slow."

I'm sad to say it was only then that I realized this whole conversation had been about James's attempts to win me over. Really though, I think that whole conversation shows how much James really has grown up this past year. He's so different from the person he was; it's amazing. Last year, I couldn't stand him and now he's a good friend. Strange how this world works, is it not?

That journal or whatever it is driving me crazy! I saw James writing in it again tonight. I don't know why I'm compelled to know what it contains, but I need to know!

I do realize that I sound extremely nosey, but it's not as though I'm going to steal it or anything.

When I saw James with it tonight, I casually asked what it was and he told me it was a list of Quidditch plays and strategies. Somehow though, I don't believe that he was telling me the truth. He avoided my eyes when he answered me. I found that suspicious.

I said before, mistletoe can be found floating about in mass numbers. Over the course of this week alone, James has run up to me the hallways four times and kissed me on the cheek. He says it's to keep "some pervy bloke" from kissing me.

I think he just wants to kiss me.

I suppose his intensions are good. I'd prefer James kissing me on the cheek to some random bloke I don't even know kissing me on the lips.

I found myself wishing that when he kissed me on the cheek yesterday that he was kissing me on the mouth like the time in the library.

But I don't feel anything but friendship when I look at him and in fact, I think I have a tiny crush on another guy. I won't write his name down, but lets just say that I've mentioned him before.

Professor McGonagall passed around the sign up sheet for those students wanting to stay at Hogwarts over Christmas Holiday and I put my name down. As James so wisely said on our way back from detention tonight: "I have the rest of my life to spend Christmas with my family, but I only get two more years at Hogwarts. I'd better make the best of them."

And so I find myself surrounded by the people I care most for in the entire world for Christmas. I won't be with Mum or Dad, and certainly I love them both, but like James said, after Hogwarts, I'll get to spend every Christmas with them, but Hogwarts is only for two more years.

Hestia just snuck up behind me and read my last couple of sentences aloud to the dormitory. She and Emmeline are now trying to decide what I write about in here.

Emmeline: "So…she keeps a journal…interesting…"

Hestia: "I bet she writes about how much she fancies James and wants to get caught with him under the mistletoe again."

Emmeline: "Ooo. That would be good, but not overly probable. I would like it be true, but she's too stubborn."

Hestia: "I don't know. What if her becoming friends with James has sparked some new feelings? And she doesn't want to say so, so she writes them down in that journal?"

Emmeline: "That would be hilarious!"

I like how my friends talk about me when I'm in the same room sitting across from them. Really, I do.

Christmas is tomorrow and I'm worried that James won't like his gift. I voiced my concerns to Alice, who smiled knowingly before saying that James would like anything I gave him, even if it was a paper bag.

She's got a point.

My fears were for naught! James loved his new book and immediately began reading it. Sirius actually had to take it away from him so we could all go down to breakfast.

For my present, James gave me several packets of seeds for what else, but lilies! There were seeds for Easter Lilies, Day Lilies, Lily-of-the-Valleys, and every other type of lily under the sun. It was very thoughtful and kind of sweet. I know what I'll be doing this summer, tending to my garden of lilies!

We spent a quiet day in the common room talking, playing wizards chess and exploding snap. James was unlucky enough to have an entire deck of exploding snap cards blow up in his face and his eyebrows got rather singed.

Later on, James and Sirius snuck off and returned with butterbeer and snacks. When we asked them were they got it all, they merely answered "Somewhere."

Today, we went ice-skating on the lake. I was surprised to find out that James is quite a good skater. He won't win any awards, but he can keep his balance well (I guess that comes from quidditch), stop, start, and even skate backwards.

Sirius, on the other hand, was a different story. The poor boy could barely stand up! He kept complaining about the skates, saying that they were too loose or too tight, but all that aside, he managed to have a good time anyway.

Remus was the one who surprised me the most. For some reason, I didn't think he would be a good skater, but he was! He was exceptional.

On our second lap around, I fell into a snow bank after tripping over my own feet. James, being the gentleman, came, took my hands and pulled me out. When I was back on my feet, he didn't let go of my hands. Instead, he held them tighter and began to spin around with me! We both ended up in the snow bank.

After pulling me out yet again, he kept a hold on my right hand.

James: "Can I hold your hand? Please?"

Me: "I don't know…"

James: "Come on. I know you can't resist my charms."

Then he did something really weird: He slapped his hand over his mouth and closed his eyes.

Me: "Are you alright?"

James: "I said something arrogant."

Me: "What does that – oh. Well, I forgive you this one time."

James: "Were you concerned about me?"

Me: "Er…I just hoped that you weren't going to be sick on me."

James: "Oh."

Me: "But… I'm glad you're feeling all right."

James: "Really?"

Me: "Yes."

James: "I beg of you, fair maiden, take my hand. Like my heart, I offer it willingly."

I didn't realize that the rest of our friends had come up behind me until Hestia called out, "Do it, Lily!" and then Sirius started chanting, "Take it! Take it!"

I had almost no choice and it would have seemed rude not to in front of everyone, so I took his hand and we continued skating. We skated that way until we decided to go inside in favor of dinner.

Well, it's a new year, a new beginning. Tonight, James showed me what was in the journal of his.

It was like deja vu. Since the beginning of fifth year, he's been keeping a list of ideas of ways to ask me out.

The first sentence was: "This is not a journal. It is an idea notebook. And in this notebook, I, James Potter, am going to write down ideas on how win over one Lily Evans."

How wonky is that?

His last entry stated that while he still cared for me, he was feeling like I'd never return his feelings and that he was sad about that.

What could I say to that? So, I didn't say anything. I gave him a smile and a friendly hug. He held on very tight, like he never wanted to let me go.

James: "Are you angry with me?'

Me: "Why would I be angry?"

James: "Because of my notebook. I figured you'd probably be mad about it, but I had to show it to you. I don't know why. I just felt like I had to show you."

Me: "I'm not mad. How can I be mad at you when all you've done is be nice to me?"

James: "I wasn't always that nice. All those pranks last year…some of them were pretty humiliating now that I think about it. I'm sorry about those. I thought it brilliant at the time. Guess I know better now, huh?"

Me: "You've been nice lately, and I think that's what counts."

I was about as far from angry as I could be. I found the whole thing highly amusing. I mean, he's been doing nearly the exact same thing as me, but it's from his perspective! Life is full is surprises; that's for sure.

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