Vegeta ½
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a Goku and Vegeta buddy fic
by
mkh2
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Disclaimer: After being slightly disappointed to not find the rights to DBZ sitting gift-wrapped under my tree, I regret to announce that Dragonball Z still belongs to Akira Toriyama. However, there's always next Christmas…
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In "Vegeta ½," Vegeta's day starts pretty normally, until he finds himself being talked into going to China with Goku for some sparring time, whereupon he falls into the cursed springs, turning into a girl. Poor 'Geta! What happens to the poor saiyajin no ouji? Will Goku spill the beans? Oh dear!
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" " – denotes speech
' ' – denotes thinking.
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Vegeta ½
Chapter 11 – …The moron will play
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*Ding-Dong*
'Oh, joy, the moron is here,' Vegeta made a face and went to the door. Composing herself – after all, she isn't supposed to utterly loathe him – she opened the door and let the idiot in.
~
"She's not here?" Yamucha half-smiled bewilderedly at Vegeta, a bemused expression on his face.
"Yeah – she tried to reach you but couldn't get through your cell," she nodded her chin at the conspicuous bright yellow phone peeking out of it's shoulder strap.
"Oh. So… what should we, I mean, I, do until she gets back," he tilted his head at her, half-smirking as he looked her over. "Great outfit, by the way."
Vegeta's eyes narrowed. "I have no idea what you should do until she gets back, and what does my outfit have to do with anything?"
"Just thinking… wanna spar?"
"Kakarrotto's gonna be over to spar with me shortly," Vegeta grit her teeth together, pushing down the urge to punch Yamucha square in the face. Just the way he was looking at her… ew.
"You'd rather spar with him than me?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.
Double ew.
"Duh, you little weakling," she ground out.
"Weak? I hardly think I'm weak. I could probably teach you a thing or two myself."
"All the same, I'd rather wait for Kakarrotto," she frowned, looking around the room. 'Honestly, what will it take for this dunce to get it? And I thought Kakarrotto was thick.'
"He's married, you know," put in Yamucha, slinking a little closer to Vegeta, who, unfortunately, was now staring at this fly buzzing around the plastic bouquet over the mantle.
"Yes, I know. Your point is…?" Vegeta turned back towards Yamucha and gave a little start, not having noticed how close he was.
"I'm not." Yamucha smiled flirtatiously and put a hand on her shoulder.
"B-but you're involved with Buruma," Vegeta, getting a bit nervous, had stuttered and was now cursing her goof. When did she ever panic over anything like this?
'How about when you first found out that you turned into a woman – or remember this morning?'
"It's not the same as married – besides, it's not serious…" Yamucha put his other hand on her knee.
"Whu-whu-wha?" Vegeta broke into a cold sweat and leaned back, almost toppling over backwards. As a (supposedly) mostly normal human woman, would she be able to get him away from her easily? She didn't think so. She bit her lip and leaned further back, falling into a lying position on the couch. Bracing herself for the worst, she closed her eyes tightly and raised her arms over her chest, preparing to kick, hit, scratch and punch him off of her if it came to it.
Turns out she didn't have to.
Feeling the oppressive weight of Yamucha's hands lift off her, and the sudden shift of the couch signaling that somebody had just got up, she opened her eyes…
…and jumped on Goku, who was currently holding onto Yamucha rather tightly by the arms out in front of him.
"What do you think you're doing?" grated Goku tensely.
"Goku! I was just… getting acquainted with Bejee."
"Was not! You touched me!" snapped Vegeta, who was hanging off Goku's shoulders.
"I didn't mean anything by it!"
"Didn't mean – did too! I've seen you do that to Bulma when you want to make out with her!" Goku frowned, his face a tight mask. "You were planning on cheating on her again, eh? And with Bejee, her own house guest, no less." He dropped Yamucha on the floor, eyes narrowing into jet-black almonds. "Get out. I'll tell Bulma you couldn't make it."
"No – I'll tell Buruma what really happened!" snapped Vegeta, shaking Goku. "He had no right to cheat on her or touch me – she deserves to know!"
Goku looked back at Vegeta and sighed. "I guess you're right – there are things more important than keeping the peace after all." Turning back to Yamucha, "Leave. Now."
"No," started Vegeta again.
"Why not?" Goku asked in surprise.
Vegeta smiled slightly. "Well… remember that sparring session I wanted? Yamucha did offer…" Her smile turned into a wicked smirk.
~
"Yeow! That stings!" Yamucha howled as Bulma sprayed some antibiotics at his scratched up arm.
"Shut up, you big baby," growled Bulma. "I'm so not in the mood. First off, we were supposed to go to my favorite restaurant for a date; secondly, I got called to an emergency meeting because some bubble-headed bozos with tapioca for brains screwed up the production line; thirdly, you were going to cheat on me again; fourthly, with my own house guest; and fifthly, you probably scarred the poor girl for life!" She slapped a Band Aid on his arm as hard as she could, which, all things considered, was pretty hard.
"Yowch! That hurts! And what about me? She probably scarred me for life – I hadn't known she could be so ruthless – and Goku didn't lift a finger to help me once… in fact, one time he tripped me!"
"I woulda hit you over the head with a folding chair!"
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"Heeheeheehee," Vegeta giggled brightly, standing outside the medical door. "Looks like she isn't using the gentle touch."
"You don't think we were too hard on him, do ya?" Goku asked, scratching the back of his head.
"Let's put it this way," said Vegeta thoughtfully, tilting her head to the side. "If I were your daughter, and some guy started touching me when I didn't want him too, what would you do?"
"Then we were too easy on him?" asked Goku.
Vegeta laughed.
~Owari~
Ah, also short, I see. Oh well, two chappies close together… all of you ought to commend me. … or at least give me a cookie… no cookie? Oh well.
Here's the part that was supposed to go after the line "Vegeta laughed" but I cut because I thought it was too stupid. Come, laugh at/with me everybody!
"What's so funny? I don't get it. Vegeta? Vegeta, what is it?" Goku half-pouted.
"Nothing Kakarrotto. I'm starving – let's eat."
"No, seriously Bejee, what's so funny? Huh? Huh? Tell me. Tell me. Tell me…"
~five minutes and twelve sandwiches later…~
"Tewv mwee. Tewv mwee. Tewv mwee…"
"Kakarrotto, shut up! Swallow that first! Disgusting!"
"Pllllleeeeeaaaaassseeeeee???"
"Gah!"
Yes, yes, yes, weird, I know. What sort of mood was I in? No idea. I just started typing. However, I didn't want to make it too brutal (partially because I'm in a happy sleepy mood – a bit too much to eat – and partially because my slight headache – the kind that goes "Twing! Twing! Twang! Twing!" … more a buzz than anything – wouldn't allow me to think to coherently.) How did Yamucha look after his "sparring" session? Eh, a little less beat up than Goku looked after that time Vegeta stepped on him in Ozaru form. ::insert patented cheesy grin here::