Disclaimer: Alas, J.K Rowling owns all but the journal idea.
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Chapter Sixteen: It's in Writing
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When I woke up this morning everyone was already gone to breakfast, which was odd since Emmeline isn't exactly an early riser, and I would have thought that somebody would have bothered to wake me up, especially since today was my birthday.
It turned out that everyone in Gryffindor House was waiting for me in the common room and the moment I appeared they burst out into the Happy Birthday Song.
My eyes found James in the crowd and I mock glared at him, knowing that he was the one behind all this.
After the song had ended and people started heading off to breakfast, he came over to me and took my hand and wished me a happy birthday.
Behind us, I could swear I heard Sirius say, "snog already." but I can't prove it.
For my birthday, James gave me a necklace. It's beautiful, a glass lily on a silver chain. He seemed extremely nervous when he gave to me, but then perked up when I told him that I loved it. And I do, it's probably the nicest piece of jewelry I own. I just hope that he didn't spend too much on it, after all, we're just friends.
Today has been great. I'm officially an adult by wizarding standards even if I'm not by Muggle ones. This summer I'll be able to do magic at home! Look out, Petunia! I won't actually do anything to her, but she won't know that.
There's a Quidditch match tomorrow, the last of the season. It's Gryffindor versus Slytherin for the House Cup. I can't wait! It's going to be a great game. Our team beat them before and we can do it again. I know it.
I was talking with James during lunch about the upcoming match. He's been holding extra practices to get his team in shape. Well, they are in shape, but no one can convince James of that. He thinks that he should go out and practice on his own the nights the whole team doesn't have practice.
Me: "You're not the whole team, you know."
James: "I know. I just feel that I'm not quite up to par, and that I should be better."
Me: "Team isn't spelled with an 'I'."
James: "You're right. There is no 'I' in team. However, there is a 'me'."
Me: "James!"
James: "Just kidding!"
I think he's being slightly obsessive about this match.
Sirius has decided to get out the poster he made of James at the last match and hang it up over the Gryffindor section again. Why he feels the need to do this, I have no idea.
Just like for the last Slytherin versus Gryffindor match, James and Sirius have been trying to raise Gryffindor moral and spirit. I must say they're doing a good job of it so far.
James gave another speech this morning on Gryffindor pride and the necessity of beating the Slytherins into the ground. Everyone (myself included) cheered and began chanting, "Go, Go Gryffindor!"
This morning was the big match and guess which team won?
GRYFFINDOR!
James and the rest of the team were brilliant! Before he left breakfast to go down to the locker room with the team he told me that every goal he scored was for me. I thought it was kind of sweet, especially since he scored quite a few goals, I believe it was ten.
For the occasion, Alice, Emmeline, Hestia and I all wore red and gold ribbons in our hair and Alice put a charm on her cloak so that across the top of the back it read, "Longbottom" and then underneath it, were the words "Seeker".
Unknown to me, Sirius had put the same charm on my cloak, except it read, "Potter" and "Chaser". I didn't even realize this decoration until James pointed it out.
James: "I like your cloak."
Me: "It's the same one I wore to the last Hogsmeade trip."
James: "I like it even better now."
Me: "Why?"
James: "Oh…you don't know?"
Me: "No, what is it?"
James: "The back."
It was then I discovered James's name and position on the back. I originally suspected Alice, since she did the same thing to her cloak, but then Sirius came waltzing up to me and asked if I liked what he had done with my cloak.
Me: "Yeah, actually, I do."
Both: "What?"
Me: "Well…it shows my support for my friend and my Gryffindor spirit all in one. How could I not like it?"
James looked slightly disappointed. I know that he would have liked to hear me say that I liked it because of him being more than a friend to me, but…I can't tell him that.
Confession: That entry way back about my having a tiny crush on someone? That someone was James.
I admit it all right? I fancy James Potter.
There, it's in writing.
But I'm not going to do anything about it. I'm convinced that it's nothing more than a stupid infatuation and by this time next year, I'll be wondering how I could have ever had feelings for my friend.
The other day, Emmeline asked me what was not to like about James, and I honestly didn't have a very good answer for her. I think it made her kind of suspicious, actually.
I said that he still runs his hand through his hair and that he still had a bit of an ego, but other than that he was a very likeable person. And, he is. James is great. I just can't see myself with him, that's all. So I'll just fantasize about what can never be.
I'm sure he'll get over me during the summer holiday, and I'm sure I'll get over him.
Our last Hogsmeade trip of the year is coming up this weekend.
Stephan Perks wasted no time in finding me in Herbology and asking if I'd consider going with him. Next to me, I saw James tense and tighten his hold on his gardening shears.
I may have feelings for James and I certainly want to get rid of them, but I don't want to hurt James in the process, so I said no. Stephan's a nice guy, but I don't like him like I like James.
Stephan: "It's because of James, isn't it?"
Me: "What? No!"
Stephan: "It's okay if you like him, I understand."
Me: "I just don't feel that way about you. Sorry."
Stephan: "Like I said, it's okay."
Me: "Thanks."
Stephan: "Good luck with James."
His last remark shocked me and I simply stared at my plant as he walked off. He thinks I like James. Am I obvious? I hope not.
Today was the Hogsmeade trip.
Alice spent the day with Frank since this is his last year and he's going on to Auror training after Hogwarts. They'll barely see each other at all next year. I hope they can maintain their relationship; they're perfect for each other.
Emmeline occupied her time with that Vance boy again. I don't really care for him. I guess he's nice enough, but he's not quite…. James.
Oh, Merlin, I'm comparing my friends' boyfriends with the lad I fancy. Not a good sign.
Anyway, Hestia and I spent the day with Remus, Peter and James. Sirius was on a date with a girl named Marlene.
As usual, our friends found a way to leave us together. They promised to meet us at one o'clock at Three Broomsticks and then walked off together. I tell you, they're getting bolder.
We decided to just walk and enjoy each other's company and James began commentating our tour.
"On your left, you can find Honeydukes, a sugar lovers paradise. May I recommend a slab of their chocolate?"
"And now, my personal favorite, Zonkos! Here young mischief makers can find everything they need to prank their enemies and make Filch's life miserable."
"The Three Broomsticks is a popular hangout spot among most Hogwarts students and the commentator would like to take you there for a drink."
So, we went into Three Broomsticks. While James went to get us drinks, I looked around and saw several couples having a drink and realized that that was exactly what James I were doing. But it's unlikely that he saw it as a date. He knows how I feel about him saying that we're dating. Or, at least, he knows how I felt…
We had a nice chat about what we planned to do with our summers. James plans to, what else? Play Quidditch! I never would have guessed. He also plans to write me, have his friends over, write me, play some more quidditch and write me.
I think I'm going to be getting a lot of letters this summer. I don't mind really, I usually receive so little mail it's nice get some once in a while.
The only problem with getting lots of letters from James is this: How am I supposed to forget my feelings for him if I get letters from him? Maybe he won't say how much he likes me in his letters. I hope not. But…never mind.
Exams are next week, and everyone is studying and nervous beyond belief. The only people who are calm are James and Sirius. But then, they're smart enough to have no worries about exams and still do unbelievably well. Lucky prats.
Today, I caught them trying to sell a group of fifth year students some brain enhancing stuff that was actually a bottle of potion that is meant to make you be able to stay awake longer. That would be bad, since you need all the sleep you can get around finals time.
Well, exams are over and I lived. Barely. The end of the year feast was held tonight. When Dumbledore announced that Gryffindor had won the House Cup, James, Sirius, Remus and Peter all stood up and threw their hats in the air. Unfortunately, James's hat landed in Snape's goblet of pumpkin juice. Oops. Needless to say, James decided that he was going to have to buy another hat for next year.
This has been a great year. I have four new friends, Gryffindor won the Quidditch Cup and House Cup and life is good.
On the train home, James and Sirius entertained us all, as usual. For some reason or another, they felt the need to buy everything off the food cart. And they ate it all! I couldn't believe it! Where did it all go? I wish I could eat that much and not gain any weight.
Sirius decided to try and build a card house out of exploding snap cards, which was a very bad idea. The house blew up as we turned a corner and his right eyebrow was singed. The strange part was that he seemed to wonder why his card house blew up. Oh, Sirius.
At the train station, my parents were once again talking with James's parents while they waited for me. As we approached I heard the words, "Sunday" and "dinner". Oh bugger.
Somehow, I think I'll be seeing James at least three times this summer: Once for dinner at my house, once for dinner at his house, and Diagon Alley.
And so, summer begins and so does my mission to forget James.
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