Painted Sky
Kaiba Seto is a total bastard in the Doom arc, and that is the highlight of the entire thing (along with YnYuugi calling Haga a 'stinky bug bastard' and watching Ryuuji get beat up a bit. Is it just me or do the animators really like to see these characters in pain? I mean, Ryuuji was practically getting lessons on how to fly. Rebecca barely gets bruised. And Ryuuji's flying. That's not fair if you ask me…), which in my opinion says quite a bit about the whole bloody mess that the writers cooked up (not Takahashi-san).
Chapter takes place on Saturday.
Many thanks to rayemars-san for beta-ing this, and to the readers! *laughs* I guess everyone was surprised by the engagement thing, and I can only feel for poor Yuriko. *pets her* I'm going to have to get her therapy after this mess. ^~
Dead Insomniac ~ *feels loved and pets her new shiny trophy* Yay! It's so pretty! *prances off with it, trips over a rock, and gets smacked in the head by it* o.o;;
Pastbyer ~ I could tell you how it's going to end, but that would just ruin the surprise. P I was actually pretty surprised… I thought it was pretty obvious that Seto was going to propose. But that's probably because I'm the one who thought of this storyline, and for the Seto in my mind, that was just the next step. *sigh* Baka!Kaiba… it's been a while since I got to use that nickname for him!
Feirdra ~ Yes, I like putting twists in my stories that make the characters suffer. *grins and flips hair over shoulder* It's a gift! *gets bashed on the head by a Mallet-wielding~!YnYuugi* x_X Yes, unfortunately Baka!Kaiba really did just slide the ring over and wait. I was originally going to have him ask, but then I thought about it and decided that he wasn't really the type of person who would say those words. It'd be a blow to his ego. -_-;;
Tuulikki ~ Maybe it's the Seto/Jyounouchi fans. They waaaaaaant you back. They neeeeeeeeeeeeeed you back. *makes spooky sounds and clanks old chains* It probably is my fault that Seto's so stupid in this story, but my justification is that he is a bit of an idiot (emotionally-wise anyway) to begin with. ^~ No, your ellipses have never bothered me… when I first started writing, I had a billion ellipses. And then I discovered the miracle of dashes! So now you just see a lot of dashes instead of ellipses, but it's really the same thing.
Rowan and Sakura ~ Oo;; Should I stay out of this? Yes, Seto, tell Ryuuji what you need to say in his dreams. And then you can have hot bunny sex in said dreams and PM can write all about it because only in dreams can Ryuuji go through everything from playboy bunny outfit to slut~!angel in twenty seconds flat. Although if they want to try experimenting such things in real life, PM has nooooo problem!
Vulpes, Demon of fuzzy ears ~ Actually, I don't think I got a review from you last time. X.x I even checked later just to make sure because I was worried I really did forget you, but I still don't see it…. I'm pretty lazy so I just go on the reviews for chapter (insert chapter number here) and then write my thank you's that way so I can directly answer any questions. ^^;;
Cairnsy ~ How'd you like the new flamboyant Jyounouchi Katsuya with eyeliner? *innocent look* Yeah, now I'm trying to figure out why it was silver. Maybe I can pretend that when I said silver I meant silver colored, so it's really white gold since they really do look the same. P Or we can just continue on the tangent that Seto is a clueless freaky psychopath. *cackle*
Lady Shriannan Santrea ~ The homecomings part was actually inspired by "Love Actually"… good movie if you haven't seen it yet. The stories in it are really cute, although there was one or two that I didn't really like. But the rest were really just adorable. ^~
Blackmoonlight ~ Well, if she said no, then the story would be… one chapter shorter or something. XP This chapter wouldn't have to exist! Which would make me happier because this chapter gave me h-e-l-l…. I doubt this story will ever get published. They're not my characters, after all. ^~
Alana Hikari-Chan ~ I am nice to them! I mean, Ryuuji got the sex and Ryou eventually got the man after 8 years of seperation and a car crash… err, that really isn't helping my argument, is it?
Ninetails-chan ~ Shh! Don't tell everyone I have the chapters finished ahead of time! I need excuses to slack off! *innocent* And keep the dust bunnies away from Ryuuji. Imagine Seto trying to have sex with him only to end up with… lots of… dust. UGH. Not a pretty mental picture. Although anything you say usually is not a good mental image. *grimace and innocent grin* Kyaha… I love the equation. Sparkly Object. Baka!Kaiba… *sigh*
~ Usotsuki (Liar) ~
News, whether it was good or bad, had a habit of spreading like the plague (which was always bad, but that was a completely different story). It didn't matter what the news was about or what it pertained to, but as long as it was worthy of being printed on the front page of every major gossip column, then it would make itself known to just about everybody except perhaps the hermit who lived in Siberia with nothing more than a paper box to live in.
Ryuuji, not being a hermit who lived in Siberia with nothing more than a paper box to live in, was no exception to this rule. So when he opened up the newspaper on that fateful Saturday morning, he found himself blinking at a large article proclaiming the happy engagement of Takashi Yuriko and Kaiba Seto.
He blinked at it for approximately twenty more seconds before throwing the paper into the garbage, even though Honda had yet to read it. This type of behavior inevitably led to another argument between the two that resulted in a door being slammed as Ryuuji left for some type of safe haven. Where that safe haven was, he couldn't be sure, especially since the entire city was bound to be buzzing about the news. The news that he so desperately wanted to get away with, even though he had nearly convinced himself that he didn't really care.
Across town, Seto was also finding himself in a somewhat similar predicament. It wasn't that he was discovering this news for the first time, but more of that he was in such disbelief of his own actions that he needed some type of reminder. He had, upon waking, spent several hours wondering if the entire thing had been nothing more than a dream. By the time he finally read those printed words, he felt like he was wandering the world in a fog of perpetual disbelief. It was… well, he knew that it had happened… remembered buying the ring, remembered giving the ring, remembered how she said yes… but he really could not believe it.
Was that why he hadn't even said the words when he had given Yuriko the ring? Was that why he had not even been able to say 'Will you marry me?'
A tiny part of his brain was still screaming out about what a bloody idiot he was, and the rest of him just calmly accepted it. In any case, it wasn't like he could just deny it.
Well, technically he could. But just because he could didn't necessarily mean it would get anywhere, so he just let it go and didn't bother to try and lie to himself anymore. What was the point? It was difficult to believe your lies when the results of your actions were plastered on every major newspaper (and basically all of the completely disreputable ones as well).
Unless he tried to tell himself that this was really for the best.
Maybe deep down inside, there was a part of him that really did love Yuriko and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. Why not, anyway? He had proposed to her… there had to be some reason for that. Some reason that didn't involve green eyes… some reason that wasn't the same exact reason why he was starting to regret all of this. But one thought about those before-mentioned his eyes and he found his resolve crumbling… just like that.
Just like that.
It was amazing that one person could affect him like this. Especially since he had not known this person for very long… sure, the two had seen each other at school and during Battle City and even once in a while during social functions. But otherwise? He hadn't known anything about Otogi Ryuuji except for the fact that he had created a game and had a really nice ass. Well, the ass part was probably something that he would keep to himself. God knows what type of teasing the raven-haired man would be able to get out of that if he should find out.
Not that it mattered.
Glaring bitterly at the newspaper, he let out a low growl before tossing it into the trashcan and leaving his mansion surrounded by storm clouds of his own making.
He was approximately three feet from his home when he realized that just about everybody around was staring at him as if he was some type of specter.
It wasn't everyday that you saw the great Kaiba Seto walking, after all.
~ * ~
When Ryuuji was young, he had always enjoyed going to the park. His mother used to take him there where she would set up a canvas and just paint. Sometimes it was the scenery and other times the people. There were even times when she would paint things that weren't even there, and all of them were equally beautiful in their own way. His father had never put much stock in them, complaining about how useless they were. She would always reply that they had value to her, and that was the only thing that mattered.
Of course, Ryuuji had always loved her paintings, so that helped too.
After she had died and he'd been moved around with his father on a crazy quest for revenge against Yuugi's grandfather, Ryuuji had discovered an escape in the parks that he hadn't before. If somebody was to psychoanalyze him, they might go on about how the trees and open spaces represented freedom or something like that. He, on the other hand… well, he just liked to look at the landscape.
He didn't really seem like the type of person to enjoy the quiet, but it offered him a time to think and get away from the chaos that defined the rest of his life. Honda sometimes teased him about it, telling him that he probably spent the entire time fidgeting and searching for somebody to annoy. Ryuuji had let that go, if only because he knew that the brunette was going to be finding something extremely wet and slimy in his bed that night.
His personal preference was lakes, although they were not what one would call common. Luckily, Domino Park had a very nice man-made lake, one that people liked to have picnics by. But that event was becoming more rare as the days went by, replaced by air conditioning and TV, thus offering him the pleasure of having the entire area to himself on the better days.
This was one of those days, and he was grateful for it. Probably it was because everybody was too busy gossiping about Seto's engagement, a part of his mind sniped cynically, but he ignored that. What did he care about what Seto had to do? It was a good riddance, if you asked him.
Well… nobody was asking him. And if they were, they were probably expecting a much different answer from that.
Not that he cared. Why should he, anyway? People were allowed to believe whatever they wanted to believe, and he too was entitled to his own opinions. Not to imply that he really was expressing his opinions… that was a different story completely. But the point was that he could and should be able to think about watever he wanted to, and nobody should go around messing with that.
Especially if you had brown hair, blue eyes, a lot of money, and just happened to be walking underneath the tree that he had adopted as a chair.
"What are you doing up there?"
Ryuuji scowled, although the angle his face was at made it nearly impossible for Seto to see his expression. "What do you think I'm doing up here?"
"I have a variety of explanations, but I doubt you would want to hear any of them," was the calm reply before the brunette squinted. "Shouldn't you be worried about falling and breaking your neck?"
Wouldn't you like that? Ryuuji thought sourly as he finally looked down at the person who was succeeding at making his life a living hell. He didn't voice those thoughts, although a part of him wanted to, and settled instead for another jibe, "Shouldn't you be worried about your wedding arrangements?"
"So you heard." There was an almost disgruntled tone to the statement, but Ryuuji didn't catch it. He should have… and if it had been a different situation, he probably would. But he didn't this time. In a way, he didn't really want to.
"I heard." Pause. "Hard not to when it's plastered on every newspaper in the city and blaring on the radios and news stations."
"It never occurred to me that you read the newspaper. Isn't that a little too intellectually stimulating for you?"
Ryuuji gawked at him for a moment before sticking his tongue out in that highly mature way of his. Seto couldn't help but grin slightly… well, for him it was slightly. For just about everybody else, it was completely nonexistent.
"Don't stick it out if you don't intend to use it. [1]"
If he was expecting a reaction, he didn't get one. Ryuuji didn't even have the decency to blush and at least satisfy him that way.
"Go away, Kaiba."
"This is public property. I have as much right to be here as you do."
"Then at least pretend you went away by shutting up," was the snapped reply as the raven-haired man sank back down against the tree trunk, determined to ignore the annoying young man standing below him. Except knowing Seto, the brunette was more likely to shake the tree in order to force him down than to actually be a gentleman and leave him alone for a change.
"And why would I want to do that?"
Even though Seto seemed as smooth and nonplussed as he usually did, his outside appearance was quite a ways from the mess inside his mind. Part of him was wondering why the hell he was putting himself through this torture. As soon as he had seen the other man lounging about on that tree branch, he should have turned around and walked away. Instead, his rebellious legs had taken him closer, and his even more idiotic mouth was now engaging his… his… something in an oh-so-delightful witty banter.
He didn't really know what to call Ryuuji anymore. It used to be annoyance… pest… insignificant… words that showed how much he did not care. Or at least, words that he hoped would convince him to feel that way. But they had yet to work, which was why he was now at a loss of what to say. It was a perplexing situation, especially for Kaiba Seto, but just talking to this currently unnamed hindrance seemed to just take away all that confusion and uncertainty.
No, he had no idea how that worked.
Ryuuji still did not answer as he determinedly tried to ignore the situation at hand. He was starting to get good at it, as it was necessary to be able to ignore things when Honda ran through their apartment naked as he screamed at Ryuuji to help him try and find something to wear before his big date with Shizuka. Despite the fact that Honda had always mocked his choice of clothing, the brunette always seemed to be very interested in whatever fashion advice he might have to offer when it came to these situations.
"Are you coming down from there?"
He couldn't help but roll his eyes at the interruption before closing them and giving a mock yawn. "No. Why would I want to do that?"
"You could fall."
The sudden show of good will immediately caused Ryuuji to perk up as he turned to look down at Seto before asking almost excitedly, "Are you afraid of heights?"
Such a leap from an observation to an almost random question would have seemed strange to anybody, but Ryuuji had a good reason for asking. There had been something about the billionaire's voice that seemed to convey something more than what his words were trying to say. Almost like a hint of panic, although such a thing seemed completely implausible.
And the silence that had followed his question was a big hint too.
By this point, Ryuuji was grinning and Seto was scowling. The unexpected turn of the tables was something he did not appreciate, although it was nice to see the raven-haired man smile instead of always glaring at him while muttering under his breath. He did have such a nice smile too….
"That's kind of strange though. Aren't all your buildings tall and your office is almost always on the top level… plus you have those helicopters and that strange jet plane that you used after Battle City [2]…."
"Shut up."
"Psh. It's not like I'm trying to be rude or something… poking at your weaknesses and all that." Ryuuji's tone of voice was more or less contradictory to the words that he was saying, but he ignored that discrepancy and continued, "Still, it is rather odd, don't you think?"
"No," Seto replied flatly. This should have been the point when he just glared at Ryuuji for bringing the topic up – it was one that was not often broached, as either nobody picked up on it or he was able to glare them into submission (harder to do that when the person he should have been glaring at was sitting at the top of a high tree) – but for some reason, he found himself continuing. "I don't have a problem when I'm inside a building or an airplane or at the very least standing on something big and solid, but I get nervous when there's nothing around. Back at the orphanage, Mokuba fell off a tree once and he nearly broke his neck. So no. I don't like heights, and I doubt that I ever will."
Silence. During his… confession, Seto's eyes had wandered down the length of the tree until he was staring straght ahead. If Seto had looked up at this point, he would have found himself looking into a somewhat surprised expression. Ryuuji had plenty of traits that should have been done away with a long time ago, but… well, whatever this was certainly wasn't one of them. It didn't really make a lot of sense, actually. If it had been anyone else, Ryuuji might have carried the topic on a bit further. But not with Seto. Or perhaps, it was because of what Seto had said. It was difficult to keep on talking after somebody had practically spilled his heart out to you, especially if you had a heart of your own.
"Oh."
Seto raised an eyebrow at that, and he waited patiently for Ryuuji to continue. But the raven-haired man didn't, allowing the two to mull in their own silence for a while.
"So… err… congrats?" It was the first thing he could think of, anyway.
"Thank you."
It didn't sound like he meant it. But he hadn't really.
"Figure out all the messy details yet?"
"No." The way he left off more or less said that Seto wasn't quite finished talking yet, but he didn't continue as he eyed the tree for a moment with a bit of apprehension. Finally though, he shrugged off his worries and sat down at the base so that he was more or less sitting directly under Ryuuji. Neither looked at each other though, preferring to glance at the calm blue water than deal with the other person. "We've only been engaged for a day."
"Well, some people move fast. My parents did anyway. Tousan always said it was the worst mistake of his life, and I think kaasan agreed. Maybe that's why they never got on too well. And then all that business with Yuugi's grandfather and it really just blew up. Kaasan was always one of those 'let bygones be bygones', and now I think that she always believed it was his fault anyway. Doubt that made tousan very happy though."
He didn't even bother to think about the words he had just said. He didn't care what Seto thought, and he didn't really care about the consequences either. But it seemed like Seto was baring his soul to him, and it was almost time for him to repay the favor and do the same in return. Not that he thought Seto was actually listening, but that was a completely different story anyway.
"We haven't figured out anything yet."
"Oh."
"How long did it take the others to get married?"
"Mm… Yuugi and Anzu-chan it took several months. Jyounouchi and Mai-san didn't take as long, but they were seeing each other for a lot longer. I think they were just waiting for Jyounouchi to get out of university anyway." Ryuuji couldn't help but wonder why Seto was asking this question… couldn't figure out why Seto would care about what other people did. He always did seem like the type of person who would just do whatever he wanted, such as his goals to create Kaiba Lands for everyone to enjoy. It was a commendable goal, but the way he was getting to it….
"Hrm."
"Well… it all depends on what is good for you two, right? If you want to take it slow, you should. Better to piss off a few people now rather than end up screwing it all up later because you weren't patient enough. You don't want to end up like my parents, anyway." By this point, Ryuuji was starting to blabber a bit, but he didn't quite know how to shut up. "Not that I think you're going to. I mean, I'm sure you thought about it for a really long time because you don't seem like the type of person who would just rush into things without thinking it through. Unless you were drunk or something."
The words had slipped out of his mouth before the implications sank in, and as soon as they were out Ryuuji couldn't help but flush as he settled back. He was unspeakably glad about the fact that Seto couldn't see his face right about now, and he had no intention of changing the situation so that it would be in the CEO's favor.
"Don't worry. I wasn't," Seto replied smoothly, although something inside him said that he wished he had been. At the same time, he wondered how Ryuuji could have spoken the words that he had been wracking his brains over for the past few hours. How did he manage to get into this situation? How had everything gotten so confused? He'd been planning on proposing to Yuriko for a while, but then along came this green-eyed idiot and suddenly all his plans were all over the place. He'd had his life so neatly structured, so perfectly planned… and now he was scrambling to get a few of the pieces back together.
And all Ryuuji would have to do was open his mouth and he would lose every one of those pieces again.
He couldn't help but wonder if Ryuuji was doing this on purpose. It sounded like something he would do, but that was before everything started to change.
By change, he referred to his changing perceptions of what type of a person Ryuuji was. Truth be told, he didn't know the other man all too well before, and he wasn't sure if he knew him too well right now. Sleeping with somebody didn't necessarily mean you would know somebody else well, so it was reasonable. But then again, sleeping with somebody that you didn't really want to know didn't necessarily mean that you were supposed to get to know that person or even acknowledge their existence for the rest of your life, but that was exactly what he was doing. Seto had no idea why that was, but he didn't really know how to change it either.
"So how was America?"
Ryuuji blinked before his face suddenly flushed a bright red as certain memories came flooding back to them. Most of those memories were disjointed – probably another effect of the alcohol that was actually welcome this time around – but there was enough of them so that he was very much embarrassed by the subject. He could hope that Seto wasn't deliberately trying to humiliate the snot out of him, but since this was Kaiba Seto… well, it was hard to tell now.
Harder than it used to be, at least.
"It sucked," was the first thing that left Ryuuji's mouth, almost by impulse. "Everyone in management is a sycophantic numbskull, my English sucks, I had no free time, the problems they wanted me to solve were impossibly stupid, the plane trip made me sick, I got jet lag, the bartenders are mean…."
As soon as the word 'bartender' escaped his mouth, Ryuuji's mind immediately shut down but his mouth was still shooting off. So it wasn't until it was too late that it finally caught on and came to a grinding halt, and by that point Seto was giving him an amused look. It wasn't one that he appreciated, so he reacted in the most intelligent way ever by giving him the middle finger.
"Ouch. Do you do that to all your workers? Perhaps that's why they enjoy bothering you with such stupid problems, as you've put it."
"I don't think my behavior changes the way nature programmed them, Kaiba."
"I thought you were calling me Seto now? Or is that only when you're drunk?"
Ryuuji stared at him for a moment, mouth agape, before he finally came up with something somewhat intelligent to say, "Asshole!"
"Hrm," was the amused reply, causing him to roll his eyes as he settled back down on his perch, muttering rather sourly. They stayed like that for a moment longer before Seto looked up at him… or rather, looked at his very nice ass, but that was something nobody else was supposed to know. "Well, if it was as bad as you said, why did you go?"
Ryuuji blinked.
"Both of us know that any problems they might have are usually nothing big. So there really was no reason for you to go to America, was there? And in that case, why would you even bother with it?" Seto continued, his eyes never wavering from Ryuuji's very fine ass. Of course, if Ryuuji had been looking at him, then he wouldn't need to stare at that… well, that… and then he wouldn't be having these thoughts right now. Thoughts that you certainly were not supposed to have less than twenty-four hours after you had proposed to your girlfriend.
Luckily though, Ryuuji hadn't noticed. He was too busy hyperventilating for that.
"It's none of your business!" Ryuuji snapped before he knew what he was saying. And by then, it was too late to do anything about it, so he just sat there looking absolutely horrified with himself. As noted before though, Seto couldn't see said horrified expression and thus had absolutely no sympathy whatsoever to his conversation partner's plight.
Then again, he wouldn't have had any sympathy anyway.
"It's just a question, Ryuuji. There's no need to go all freaky psychopath on me," Seto replied smoothly, making sure to put a great deal of emphasis on the description. He wasn't even sure if Ryuuji would remember it – had he even remembered that Saturday night which had so pleasantly screwed up his life? – but judging from the way his face was turning red, he probably did.
"You know, I would really appreciate it if you could just wipe all of that from your memory."
"And why would I want to do that?" Seto smirked back.
The repetition was becoming extremely exasperating, so Ryuuji ignored it and went back to sulking. The wind was starting to pick up a bit more, but the branch was sturdy enough to hold his weight. Considering the look on Seto's face though, the CEO obviously did not share the same convictions.
Ha, his mind muttered rebelliously.
"If you do, I'll come down."
Seto's eyebrow raised at the sudden change in attitude, as well as the insane concept that he might actually care about what Ryuuji did. Except for the fact that he did care, but he just didn't want to admit it. And he certainly did not want Ryuuji to know about it.
"Why should I care about what you do?"
"That wind is really starting to pick up, isn't it?" Ryuuji remarked offlandishly in reply as he looked up at the sky. It was a nice day… clear sky, no clouds in the way… and he wondered how often Seto got to experience these days rather than staying cooped up in an office all day. He didn't really seem like the type of person who would want to go outside and play catch anyway.
Below, Seto was twitching peevishly.
Ryuuji shrugged, "It doesn't really matter to me either way, you know."
By this point, he was really wondering why Seto was indulging him like this – last he heard, the brunette didn't exactly have the patience to deal with these types of games, unless he was playing them himself. But so far, Seto had allowed him to do whatever he wanted, interspersing it with jabs of his own. It was interesting and quite amusing, and Ryuuji almost didn't mind playing if he could forget who he was playing with.
But then again, the players were what made the game interesting in the first place. Seto was somebody to be cautious enough, but once you figured him out… well, that was easier said than done, but it was surprising how perceptive Ryuuji could be. He didn't always seem like the type of person, but he had to have some measure of observation skills if he was to be good at insulting other people and pointing out their faults.
"Fine."
The raven-haired man stared, "Fine?"
"Fine."
"Is that a fine-yes-come-down or a fine-stay-up-there-and-see-if-I-care?" Ryuuji inquired, emerald green eyes genuinely surprised.
"It's more of a fine-however-you-want-to-interpret-it-is-up-to-you," Seto replied before looking up and locking eyes with him. "But just between you and me, I might be willing to compromise and forget that phone call of yours for the rest of the day."
"The gossip columns can wait until tomorrow, right?"
It was such a ridiculous statement. Obviously, Seto wasn't about to jeopardize his marriage in order to get some much-needed revenge on Ryuuji. But just hearing it said made the brunette laugh, and although it was one of his superiority complex laughs, it was still something.
"Just get down here, Ryuuji." The patronizing tone did not bode well with the raven-haired man, nor was the use of his first name. And because of that, he let the words slip out of his mouth before he could even think to take them back.
"If I jump, will you catch me?"
Seto opened his mouth to scream 'What?!', but by that point, Ryuuji had already thrown him a cocky grin and started to climb down the tree himself. At least it hid the fact that own brain was yammering about the exact same thing… demanding to know what the hell he was talking about and why the hell did he even form the words in his brain, let alone speak them.
Still, he covered it all up with a blinding grin that would have made the sun shy away if only it had eyes.
"That better?"
Seto gave him a steely glare but didn't reply. Instead, he concentrated on the water, which was a bit of a shift since he had just spent all that time trying to get Ryuuji down from the tree only to ignore him now.
Ryuuji, at least, took this all in stride. He didn't see the point of forcing unwanted conversation, and he didn't see the point in making Seto do anything. It just didn't seem very important right now. So he settled down instead, lying down on the ground with his upper body propped up by his arms, face resting on his hands as he too looked at the scenery. Although instead of looking down at the water like Seto was doing, he looked up at the sky. People always tended to look down, anyway, and Ryuuji was a rebel who had decided to start his own personal revolution by looking up instead of at the ground. It caused more accidents, certainly, but the sky was really a lot nicer looking than the cold cement ground.
Well, except when it was an impenetrable brown due to smog and air pollution….
Then both of them sucked and he would try not to look at either by focusing instead on the people around him. He had a feeling that because of that, his observation skills had improved and that was why he was better ay reading people than most others. Since he couldn't look down and he didn't want to look up, he looked around and began to understand people and their expressions. First the big things, like smiles and frowns, but gradually he started to see the small details that most people would miss. And applying that to daily life… well, it was amazing the things you could do with such skills.
Seto was a little harder to read than most people, although that probably had to do with the brunette practicing cold and icy expressions for two hours everyday. At least, that's how Ryuuji thought of it, and considering just how talented Seto was at it, he might have been onto something.
But to be serious, Seto was a difficult person to understand. He did it on purpose, no doubt, and while part of Ryuuji was highly annoyed by the fact, another part of him was quite fascinated. And as he had gotten to know the billionaire more and more, some things began to change while others remained frightfully the same. Seto was still a frosty bastard who by all means should have been put down before he had been able to communicate with the outside world, but sometimes he showed a touch of humanity that even he could not believe. Emotions such as shock and happiness were such basic emotions that Ryuuji rarely thought about it, but with Seto it resembled more of a treasure hunt. Would he or wouldn't he? Why or why not? What did he reveal now that he had been hiding before, and why would he open up in such small ways while not doing so in others? Kaiba Seto was, in short, a perplexing puzzle of pieces that did not always go together, and sometimes it seemed that there were parts that could interchange with others. It was almost like his personality depended on the time of day and the situation in place – the stubborn, emotionless façade would only be cracked by tiny changes that most could not see on their own.
It wasn't that he needed to break that façade, or ever really come to understand the brunette. With anybody else, he might have… but in this case, it was just a fascination with somebody that he was starting to know a little bit too well. The point of observation – in his mind at least – was to figure out something about the other person before they caught on that you were looking, and also to remain as detached as possible. It had been a philosophy he had lived by for quite a long time, and now that he was starting to break it… the only thing he wanted to know was why he was acting this way. Why was he suddenly changing like this, as if the small things mattered while everything else he used to care about became secondary. What was it about Seto that made him act like this, as if he was not even sure of what he wanted or had used to want.
The adverse side effect of all of this was that the ambiguity of it all annoyed him, and that in turn made him want to annoy Seto (which was or was not detrimental to one's health, depending on your point of view). But what came out next was something he hadn't really meant to say. And he could not for the life of him figure out where it had come from.
"You know, all you really had to say was please, and then I would have been more than happy to oblige you. If it had taken you any longer, I was worried we were going to have to figure out how to have sex on two different levels, Kaiba-kun [3]," Ryuuji sniped before he could really think through the consequences of his words. And before Seto could think through his words, the short reply had escaped his lips as well.
"In that case, you were on the wrong level."
Silence as the two of them stared at the other person, each in complete disbelief that what had just been said was really… well, said.
Seto especially wondered if he could somehow pay time to go back a bit so he could smack himself senseless before any of those traitorous words could escape his mouth. Sure, it would be quite a spectacle and one that would probably haunt him for the rest of his life, but how was that any different from what was happening now? Ryuuji could only watch him, a perplexed expression decorating his face, which probably matched his feelings as he tried to stare back without a trace of the emotions that he was really feeling on his face.
Of course, some people would like to argue that he didn't feel emotions.
If this had been anybody but Seto, Ryuuji probably would have let it slide (with quite a bit of bitching and cursing, granted) because he would have known that it didn't really mean anything. Or if it did, then it was coming from someone who he felt the same way for.
Kaiba Seto, obviously, was not that person. Or really, Ryuuji wasn't exactly sure if he was or wasn't. Which was just really messed up if you asked him, and it honestly no help to the current situation at hand.
"Why are you doing this?" The words sounded almost horrified, as if he couldn't believe any of this was happening. And he couldn't, but that was completely beyond the point.
The brunette looked down at him, as if he was expecting Ryuuji to say something, but the raven-haired man didn't bother to look back at him. Instead, he was studiously inspecting the trees across the lake, as if it was somehow more important than what was being said. What he had just said. But then again, some people did believe that interest in small, completely insignificant things always increased exponentially when it came to confronting very important matters [4]. And no matter how much both of them wanted to deny it, this was rather important.
"Doing what?"
It was just the kind of round-about, pointless answer that Seto had become famous for, and Ryuuji should have been prepared for it considering the contact he'd had with the brunette as well as his own habit of round-about, pointless answers, but instead of smiling painfully and thinking of revenge plans, something just snapped inside.
"Damn it, Kaiba, we can't keep doing this forever! We can't keep dancing around the question, not with everything that is going on. Why can't you just answer for a change instead of giving me so much bullshit?!"
There was a silence after this loud demand – Seto stared at Ryuuji but Ryuuji was too busy staring at the ground to look up at him – but it was quickly dealt with when Seto replied bluntly, "Then don't ask."
"If you hadn't done it, I wouldn't have to ask," Ryuuji snapped back, getting to his feet and jabbing a finger at Seto's chest, as he not so jokingly wondered about the consequences of if he could just have a knife at the moment.
"It wasn't voluntary."
"What, did I somehow compel you to do it?" the game inventor raged, throwing his hands up in the air in a gesture of hopeless disbelief. "I can't believe your nerve!"
Seto was tempted to say something else that would be promptly labeled as horrifyingly nasty, but he somehow managed to bite his tongue and prevent a case of Ryuuji trying to physically attack him. Trying, as Seto was quite a bit stronger and he wasn't about to let himself get a black eye or bruise for that matter, despite what ambivalent feelings he might have for his attacker. So in order to avoid any more pain, any more slips, and any more situations with this person, he stood up and turned away, "I'm leaving."
"Go ahead! See if I care!" Ryuuji's tone seemed to implicate that he did indeed care, but it wasn't something that he was about to admit. "If you want to run away from everything that makes a dent in your perfect little world, who am I to stop you?!"
Seto stopped, although that was only to give Ryuuji a death glare that would have sent anybody else running. Unfortunately, Ryuuji wasn't anyone else and he wasn't planning on randomly changing his status.
"What did you say?"
The other man gave an unpleasant snort as he rested his hands on his hips, his emerald green eyes challenging, "I wanted to know, basically, if you happen to run away from everything that you can't control."
"Only those that are more trouble than they are worth."
"If I'm so much god damn trouble, then why on earth are you doing any of this?!" Ryuuji's voice was incredulous, which nicely summed up both his and Seto's feelings. "If I'm not worth the time for you to be dealing with me, why do you still talk to me when it's your style to ignore problems when they come up, as if you honestly think that they'll just disappear if you don't deal with them? Why is it that you're here in the first place when all you had to do was turn around and walk away as soon as you saw me? Your arguments are very unrealistic, Kaiba, and I doubt you even know what you're talking about."
As he had started to rant, Seto had turned away and was keeping his attention on something else. What that was, Ryuuji had no idea – but he did know that he didn't like how Seto was basically ignoring him as he demanded for an explanation. Everything he had said were things that he'd wanted to know for a long time, and for the brunette to just be pretending that he wasn't even speaking was enough to infuriate just about anybody.
But despite all of that, none of that prepared either of them for the question he asked next. It was the question that had plagued him the most, the question that he could not help but wish there was some type of answer to even though he knew that there wasn't.
"Why did you kiss me?"
Seto immediately snapped his attention back to his companion, eyes finally revealing the surprise he had derived from the question, "What?"
This should have been the point when he changed his words and just moved on with life, but he couldn't. Not with something like this, not with someone like him.
"Why did you kiss me?"
Blue locked onto green as the two stared at each other, refusing to back down. Or rather, each too afraid to back down in fear of the consequences which they did not even understand.
Why had he kissed him? But there were so many broader implications of the question… in fact, from that single sentence, it seemed like thousands more had sprung up. Why was this happening? What were the two thinking? How on earth could they have let this go on as far as it had?
Why had they let it go so long?
And it seemed that neither of them had any answers.
Seto, meanwhile, could only stand there wondering if Ryuuji even expected an answer. He deserved one, of course, but that had nothing to do with whether or not he actually thought he would get one or expect it. Especially considering his current behavior, it was highly doubtful that Ryuuji honestly thought he would get some type of explanation to all the questions that were being posed for the two.
It didn't help that right now, the CEO didn't have any answers to give, even if he had wanted to answer. And right now, he wasn't sure if he did.
But as those eyes clung onto him, unwilling to let go, he found himself replying.
"I don't know."
It wasn't a fake answer, or a roundabout one. It was, in short, a genuine one that he truly meant. Which in the end probably made everything worse because it just showed that he was as clueless as everyone else when it came to this game that they had been most unceremoniously dumped in.
Currently, he was more worried about what type of reaction he was going to get. But whatever he could have conceived of, he certainly did not think that Ryuuji would smile.
"Sou ka? [5]" The words were said so lightly, but he somehow managed to get such bitterness in – a bitterness that Seto had never really heard in his voice before. Combined, it was a living reminder or everything that had irritated and intrigued him from the start, and again, he wasn't sure if he appreciated it.
Unfortunately, he didn't quite have time to really think about all this because Ryuuji was continuing, and he had to listen even though he really didn't want to.
"Well, I guess you're just as lost as everyone else is right about now. Which isn't good when you think about it, but I'm sure you have and you've come up with a completely insignificant solution that will probably just end up screwing your life up a lot more. Still, I hope you figure out everything to your satisfaction. Don't get me wrong, I don't think you will. And I'm not even sure if I care one way or the other. But then again, maybe it's just nice for you to know that you've irritated someone out there enough to actually say this to you rather than letting you bowl over them with your totally condescending and just really asshole-worthy behavior."
The billionaire couldn't help but blink and wonder if he should be saying 'thank you' at this point. It wasn't something you'd think you should say thank you too, but there were some more hidden statements in those words that he was sure he could figure out if he wasn't in such complete shock.
So he decided the best thing to do was run away, even though he would, in the process, be proving Ryuuji right.
There were worst things in life, he suspected as he started to walk away with green eyes boring holes into his back. He just didn't know what they were right now.
~ * ~
"Tadaima."
"Okaeri," Honda blinked at the haggard form that just happened to be standing in his doorway with an expression of abject confusion, as if he had absolutely no idea how he had gotten there. "Are you okay?"
"Am I supposed to be?" Ryuuji asked back blandly after a long silence.
"Err…" Honda couldn't figure out a good way of answering the rhetorical question in a way that wouldn't get his spine ripped out, so he settled for asking another question. "Did something happen while you were out?"
He really did sound completely innocent – whether or not it was feigned or not was a different story – and that was basically why Ryuuji's eyebrow started to twitch visibly. From there, this should have been the point when Honda would back away and run out of the apartment screaming before Mount Ryuuji turned into a national disaster and blew up, but he never could figure out when he should stop digging a hole before the sand caved in and buried him.
"Just a little," Ryuuji replied sarcastically as he threw himself onto the sofa across from Honda. The brunette could literally feel small trickles of sweat running down the back of his neck as he suddenly found himself being fixated with a fierce stare, and that only led to the panic that would soon prove to be his proverbial undoing.
"Ah, well, I was expecting something like that when Kaiba came over and asked-."
"What?!"
Oops. He hadn't quite meant to say that out loud, but now that he had, he was stuck in a bind. Whatever he did from here would in all likelihood be leaving him as a victim of Ryuuji's wrath, something he should have spotted the minute Ryuuji had entered the apartment. But it was a little bit too late to be having second thoughts like these, so he could only hope that Ryuuji's hormone-induced mood would not be too harsh on him.
"Well, he came by looking for you."
"And you told him?!"
"What was I supposed to do?" Honda shot back defensively, even as he knew the answer that Ryuuji was going to give. So before the raven-haired man could give it, he continued, "I know you would have preferred me to lie and say that I don't know where you went, but he would have seen through that. Besides, it might have been important! I didn't want to turn him away in case it was!"
"You know that I don't want to talk to him. That's one of the few things you do know, considering how much you think you know but really don't. It's none of his business what I do! And it's none of your business either, so you shouldn't be telling him! Just because he asks you a question doesn't necessarily mean that you have to answer it. I mean, what's next? Are you going to be telling him what shampoo I use if he asks?!"
"That sparkly stuff, right? The one that Bakura gave you…."
"This isn't a joke!"
Honda fixated him with a steely look. It was rare that he started to lose his temper like this – in fact, of everyone, he had one of the best tempers – and it was never pretty when he did. "I didn't say it was a joke, Otogi."
"Then stop acting like it is," Ryuuji snapped. "If you haven't noticed, I'm trying to have a life where I don't have to be constantly worrying about the next time Kaiba is going to be popping up, and all you can do is send him my way when that's the last thing I want. I told you that I wanted to be alone, and yet you still point in my direction as soon as he asks. Why? Why can't you just leave me alone instead of always trying to run my life for me?"
"Well, if you knew how to run your life as well as you run your business, I wouldn't have to do these types of things now, would I?"
"It's none of your damned business what I do or do not do. I don't care what type of fantasies you've made up in your brain, but Kaiba is not about to become a part of my life and I certainly don't want him to."
"You can't blame that on me, you know. If you hadn't been irresponsible enough in the first place to get drunk and end up sleeping with him, none of this would have happened."
"Are you saying that this is my fault?"
"You were the one who jumped into bed with him, Otogi. Nobody forced you to do it, and there's only so much you can blame on the drink. It's no wonder you need me to be your babysitter."
Honda knew he was crossing the line, but Ryuuji had crossed it a long time ago and he was getting rather fed up with it. For the past several weeks, it had been nothing but whine, complain, whine, complain. Even though Ryuuji didn't like it, he felt responsible for the guy, and watching him act like this had been no easy walk in the park. If he kept acting like this, he would no doubt eventually end up in a situation that was worse than the one he was currently in, as unbelievable as it sounded.
"I never asked you to be my babysitter. Did you ever hear me say, at any time, that I wanted you to be my babysitter? It's not my problem what you choose to hallucinate, so don't go pinning your problems down on me!"
"And what have you been doing, exactly? There are other people living in this apartment, and maybe they're under the impression that you need to get a push so that we can avoid spending the rest of our lives watching you mope around and throw temper tantrums. I mean, if you're not going to do anything about it, somebody might as well try before you tear down this entire apartment with your screaming."
"And why the hell is it your problem to deal with? It's my life, not yours, and if I decide that I want to screw it up, I think I should at least be allowed that option."
Honda raised an eyebrow before stating calmly, "I'm not going to stand around and let you screw up your life, Otogi. Even if that is what you want."
"No, you're just going to help contribute to it, aren't you? He's engaged, for god's sake. He's engaged, and he did it after we had our pleasant bout of hot monkey sex, so you might as well give it up if you think that it's going to get anywhere because it isn't! And I would appreciate it if you could just keep out of it instead of making it worse."
There was a silence as Honda stared at him in disbelief, "Do you really believe any of that bullshit you just sprouted?"
He knew he was lying before he even spoke the words with such coldness that even Kaiba Seto would have been proud of him (although he really didn't want to be thinking about Seto right now), "It's not bullshit."
"Yes it is."
"No, it isn't."
"Yes it is," Honda insisted with the same amount of conviction he'd had from the very beginning. "It's bullshit and you know it."
"Stop telling me what I know and what I don't!"
It wasn't really anything new – Ryuuji had said it before, in a variety of circumstances. But this was probably the first time that Honda had no doubt about exactly how much he meant every single word of it, and the anger and an almost painful tone that he wasn't really ready for.
Still, knowing that didn't stop him from saying what he felt needed to be said.
"Somebody has to tell you since you're obviously not acknowledging it on your own."
"Fuck you!"
"What did you say?!"
"I doubt you've suddenly developed hearing problems in the past two seconds!"
Honda looked about red enough to explode. He was really quite tired of dealing with all this, and it wasn't like he could just make Ryuuji listen to him when Ryuuji wanted nothing more than to be a stubborn ass that was a thorn in everybody's side. So he turned away to glare at the wall which couldn't glare back.
"Fine! Go ahead and mess up your life! See if I care!"
"Fine! I will!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
And with that final scream which had the neighbors all scratching their heads in confusion, Ryuuji turned around, walked back to the door, and slammed it shut on his way out. Honda could still hear him stomping as he made his way to the stairs, and it was only after several moments had passed that he finally sank back into his chair, his back finally releasing the tension it had stored been during the argument.
Running a hand through his hair, he looked up at the clock and sighed.
It had only been fifteen minutes since Ryuuji had walked in.
~ * ~
Why did you kiss me?
Seto frowned as he tapped his fingers against the desk, trying to concentrate on the data spreadsheet on the screen before him. He was finding it difficult though, especially as Ryuuji's words kept running through his mind over and over again.
If I'm so much goddamn trouble, then why on earth are you doing any of this?! If I'm not worth the time for you to be dealing with me, why do you still talk to me when it's your style to ignore problems when they come up, as if you honestly think that they'll just disappear if you don't deal with them? Why is it that you're here in the first place when all you had to do was turn around and walk away as soon as you saw me? Your arguments are very unrealistic, Kaiba, and I doubt you even know what you're talking about.
Leave me alone! he wanted to scream, but since he was Kaiba Seto and Kaiba Seto was supposed to always be in control, he narrowed his eyes and just glared at the numbers and words, refusing to give in to the hysterics that were threatening to overwhelm him. The only problem was that they were jumbling together into one incomprehensible mess, and now he had no idea what he was trying to read.
Trying to ignore all his doubts, he stopped his impatient tapping in order to start tying rapidly on the keyboard. It soon became evident to him that he didn't know what he was typing, and that his body was on autopilot as his mind was starting to spin out of control.
He was going to crash soon, and he didn't know how to prevent it.
Why did you kiss me?
Why had he? Why had he done such a stupid, stupid thing even when he knew the consequences? Well, not know specifically every detail of what would occur, but understood enough to have a guess at what could happen. And those things that could happen had scared him so much more than anything else, yet he still allowed it to happen.
Why?
Why?
What was it about those green eyes that kept him so fixated? The annoying grin, the way his voice would grow so high-pitched when he was angry, the expressions that slipped onto his face even when he was trying not to let them?
Sometimes, he saw himself in the other man, and yet he didn't. He saw things he hated and things he loved, and suddenly all his needs had been so obviously created into somebody when he had never noticed these things in anyone else.
It was just that Otogi Ryuuji was so damn human that he found himself obsessed. So like him and yet not. And if he allowed himself the truth, he knew that it was something that would never go away, as if it was a mark that bled all the way through his body and could never be cut away.
If I jump, will you catch me?
Cocky bastard, he found himself muttering to himself even as he let his face to split into an almost crazed and bitter smile. Cocky. That described Ryuuji to a tee, and the question too. The question that, as soon as the words had run through his mind again, he had finally instinctively figured out the answer to.
He'd have to face this, sooner or later. And it unfortunately looked like it was going to be coming a lot sooner than he had wanted it to. He'd proposed (in a way) to Yuriko in a desperate attempt to get rid of these thoughts, but obviously it had not worked.
Not that it had really surprised him, though.
There was really nothing more than to deal with it unless he wanted it to consume the rest of his life. The sooner the better. And harder, but that was a different story [6].
Clicking on exit without bothering to save the document, Seto pulled up his e-mail box again. He doubted anybody would be happy because of his decision, himself included. But it was the right one, wasn't in?
Wasn't it?
It all depended on your definition of right, at least. He had a feeling that nobody would agree with him except himself, but he just knew that this was the right thing to do. He rarely doubted himself and he didn't really want to start doing it now, so he set his jaw and pushed all those disparaging thoughts into the box that he eventually locked them in.
He didn't want to do this, but he needed to. He needed to if he was ever going to be able to face himself again, although he seriously doubted if it was really that serious.
The smile was still gracing his lips, and he allowed it to break in order to laugh to himself. He wasn't a romantic, and he never was. Yet if one inspected his words and actions with a microscope, they might just claim that… well, maybe he was at heart. Or maybe everyone was, no matter how hard one tried to push those troublesome emotions away. It was hard to be by yourself for your entire life, and the lack of somebody who would love him no matter what happened was starting to trouble him (although he did not want to admit it). It wasn't that Mokuba had ever stopped loving him, but he was away at university so it was just different being alone. Was that why he was starting to reach out?
Yuriko was supposed to be the solution to his problems, a neat little package he could gift-wrap and tuck away until he needed it. She didn't seem to mind, but it hadn't really been enough for him. Which wasn't exactly something he liked, but it wasn't like he could just change it. You had to give a little to get something, although for him it seemed like he was giving a lot to get something that he didn't understand.
Or something he deliberately tried not to understand.
As he drifted into that state where fingers typed on their own accord and the mind settled on different things, his smile softened slightly.
Yes. Yes, he would.
He would, in fact, be down there with his arms spread open. Waiting.
Waiting for the answer to fall into his arms even as he knew that getting there would be a trip to hell and back.
~ * ~
And across town, Ryuuji threw himself onto the bed of the rented hotel room and tried to forget what had just happened in order to get some sleep.
Shutting his eyes, he could picture perfectly the water that had been so calm throughout the entire day.
It was the same color as his eyes.
Commentary:
[1] *cough-hack* Nalan-san….
[2] Volume 31. After Battle City, Seto doesn't return to Domino City with the others but blasts off in a little airplane because he's off to America to build his Kaiba Land.
[3] *sing-song voice* Blame Ninetails-chan! Oy, NBCC! She's stolen your theme song! *snigger*
[4] Not directly quoted, but this was a sort of paraphrase from Oscar Wilde's The Picture of Dorian Grey (not that I agree with his theory on art though. X.x).
[5] Is that so?
[6] *silence* Sick mind. *sticks tongue out at everyone*
If you've been reading my livejournal, you probably know how much trouble this chapter has caused me, somewhere between worries that everything was happening too quickly to rants about the length (at nine pages, this story is close to a tenth of what has been written. ~.~). Still, be grateful that I didn't add a tedious Ryuuji-introspection at the end! Not that I would have… I have enough trouble on my hands, like trying to figure out exactly how this chapter could have ended up so long.
Nine bloody pages! *whimper*
Haha, well, I guess this makes up for all the short chapters before, right? P
*checks the outline* As for the next chapter, I think it should be up on time. Urgh. Hopefully… the major scene might be a bit of a challenge for me to write right now in my diminished mental state (blame the economics! Blame the economics!).
Oh, and in case you were wondering, there are four chapters to go. ^~ Unless I end up cutting or adding stuff again. Which I won't. Or at least, I better not…. *mutter*
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