"There is a place of great evil in the wilderness. Kashya's rogues
have blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah mitten," said Akara.
Og wasn't listening to Akara. He was busy looking around the camp, especially at the chickens. Boy were they annoying, and it didn't help that he wasn't allowed to attack things in town. Chickens were only good for one thing- food! He so desperately wanted to hunt them. He would hunt them down, one by one, and hack at the annoying chickens with his axe and make soup out of them! Yes, chicken soup. He had a cold, that was it, he needed the chicken's dead for.medicinal reasons.
Likewise, Wimpelina wasn't listening either. Her thoughts strayed to the jungles of her homeland, where she would lay at night and be bitten by the endless mosquitos and have the monkeys throw various squashy fruits while she tried to drown out the sounds of dying pig being attacked by a jaguar. For the first time since she had left, she felt. hungry. She gazed longingly at the bowl of chicken by the fire. Akara drawled on and on. She picked up her javelin and looked hungrily at the chicken that was pecking at corn in a remote part of the camp.
Insufferabilus took every word in, though now it seemed she was just chattering on and on like some sort of squirrel. Squirrels were funny, he thought. They hoard nuts for winter but never find them when the cold sets in. He thought of the forgotten squirrel hoard he had found one day as a boy. Cashews, peanuts, walnuts, chestnuts. Chestnuts were especially nice, especially when roasted with a nice sauce and used as garnished over a white meat.like a chicken. His stomach rumbled.
The necromancer whose name he did not decide to share with the rest of the world stood leaning against the tent listening from afar in the shadows. It was his job to be the mysterious, separated one of the group. However, even though he was so pale and liked shadows didn't mean he enjoyed the cold like most people believe of Necromancers. In fact, he hated the cold. He would have loved to sit up right next to fire and burn things and drink mulled wine and eat warm roasted chicken. He suddenly spotted a chicken wandering around the tent. He licked his lips hungrily.
"Well, do you understand our plight, warriors?" asked Akara.
"I have a question," asked Wimpelina raising her hand.
"Shoot," said Akara.
Wimpelina looked around bewilderedly.
"Um, I don't have a bow. Can I just ask my question?" asked Wimpelina ditz-ly.
All four of them buried their faces in their hands in frustration.
"go ahead," said Akara
"Um, can we eat that chicken?"
"You want to eat that chicken?"
All four of them nodded their heads hungrily.
"Um. no."
"But I'm so hungry!" said Insufferabilus raising his sword toward the chicken.
"Sustinence would help us perform your task!" added the Necromancer helpfully.
"Give Og eat! NOW!!" yelled Og waving his axe.
"Look, go do my task. and.I'll make you some.chicken.waffles."
"Chicken waffles?" scoffed the Necromancer.
"Like, waffles with chicken in it?" asked Wimpelina.
"Mmm. waffles." drooled Insufferabilus.
Kashya interrupted their drooling.
"Get out! Go! Go kill everything in the den of evil and I will personally kill ten of my own chickens and make chicken for everyone in camp!"
They all left.
"You offered to kill ten of your own chickens?" asked Akara.
"Why not? They'll die like the rest of the adventurers who don't know how to use a PC. I mean, fight."
The four of them made a quartet, only without instruments. They walked steadily onward into the Blood Moor, looking for signs of the mysterious Den of Evil. Each had their weapons ready. Nothing of interest was around them at the moment, so they eventually slacked off their guard.
"Okay, I spy with my little eye something that is.green!" said Insufferabilus.
"Is it another tree?" asked Wimpelina.
"Yup. You're pretty good at this, Wimpy."
"Well it's not like there's anything out here besides trees and dirt. I spy with my little eye something that is. red."
"Is it that apple?" asked Insufferabilus.
"Nope."
"Is it that leaf?" asked Wimpelina.
"Is it that bloody gash on the back of Og's arm?"
"Oh look at that," said the Necromancer. There was a spike sticking out of Og's arm, but the barbarian seemed oblivious too it.
"Ceciliaa, you're breakin me heart." sang Og off tune.
"Stay on guard, people. There must be Quill rats around here."
"Gee, thanks Captain Obvious," said the Necromancer
"Die you cursed corpses of the dead!" yelled Insufferabilus hacking off the limbs of a zombie.
"Og Bash! Now!" Og bashed a Zombie with his mighty fist.
The Necromancer pulled out his wand a muttered a few creepy sounding words. The bones of the dead quill rat quivered and ripped out from the dead flesh. They flew into the air composing a skeleton that looked vaguely human. In its hand was a flail with the quill rat's skull.
"Look at that," said Wimpelina pulling a javelin out the eye socket of a "dying" zombie.
"Hey, it's the best I could do. It's not like Quill rat skeletons look exactly like a human skeleton," said the Necromancer.
"What does it do?" asked Insufferabilus, wiping blood of his sword.
"Go! Attack that zombie in the name of your master!" yelled the Necromancer.
"What is his masters name?" asked Wimpelina slyly.
"Chuckles," said Chuckles, formerly known as Hey, You, Necromancer.
The three stared at each other. Then they burst out laughing.
"What?" asked Chuckles.
The three couldn't answer. Wimpelina clutched her ribs, Insufferabilus had tears running down his face and Og was pounding the ground with all his might.
Looking grim, Chuckles raised another two skeletons from the ground and pointed at the others.
"Attack, my minions! All will hear the name of Chuckles and tremble!"
The three kept laughing. The skeletons raised their flails to attack, but Og merely slapped them out of the way in his frenzy of hilarity. They crumpled into a pile of dust.
"Grrrr!" Chuckles growled. "Enough of this foolishness, Og, Wimpy and Insufferable! Let's go and kill the monsters in the Den of Evil. Time's a wasting, you fools!" He pointed to an evil looking pit in the ground where screams and red light were coming from.
They rose and tried to stifle their chuckling caused by Chuckles. They were mostly subdued, but as Chuckles stomped angrily toward the pit he heard the occasional giggle behind him.
"Sheesh. I don't see what's so funny," he mumbled. "Do you?" he asked a passing skeleton.
The skeleton shook his bony head, but as Chuckles turned his head the skeleton began to snicker.
Og wasn't listening to Akara. He was busy looking around the camp, especially at the chickens. Boy were they annoying, and it didn't help that he wasn't allowed to attack things in town. Chickens were only good for one thing- food! He so desperately wanted to hunt them. He would hunt them down, one by one, and hack at the annoying chickens with his axe and make soup out of them! Yes, chicken soup. He had a cold, that was it, he needed the chicken's dead for.medicinal reasons.
Likewise, Wimpelina wasn't listening either. Her thoughts strayed to the jungles of her homeland, where she would lay at night and be bitten by the endless mosquitos and have the monkeys throw various squashy fruits while she tried to drown out the sounds of dying pig being attacked by a jaguar. For the first time since she had left, she felt. hungry. She gazed longingly at the bowl of chicken by the fire. Akara drawled on and on. She picked up her javelin and looked hungrily at the chicken that was pecking at corn in a remote part of the camp.
Insufferabilus took every word in, though now it seemed she was just chattering on and on like some sort of squirrel. Squirrels were funny, he thought. They hoard nuts for winter but never find them when the cold sets in. He thought of the forgotten squirrel hoard he had found one day as a boy. Cashews, peanuts, walnuts, chestnuts. Chestnuts were especially nice, especially when roasted with a nice sauce and used as garnished over a white meat.like a chicken. His stomach rumbled.
The necromancer whose name he did not decide to share with the rest of the world stood leaning against the tent listening from afar in the shadows. It was his job to be the mysterious, separated one of the group. However, even though he was so pale and liked shadows didn't mean he enjoyed the cold like most people believe of Necromancers. In fact, he hated the cold. He would have loved to sit up right next to fire and burn things and drink mulled wine and eat warm roasted chicken. He suddenly spotted a chicken wandering around the tent. He licked his lips hungrily.
"Well, do you understand our plight, warriors?" asked Akara.
"I have a question," asked Wimpelina raising her hand.
"Shoot," said Akara.
Wimpelina looked around bewilderedly.
"Um, I don't have a bow. Can I just ask my question?" asked Wimpelina ditz-ly.
All four of them buried their faces in their hands in frustration.
"go ahead," said Akara
"Um, can we eat that chicken?"
"You want to eat that chicken?"
All four of them nodded their heads hungrily.
"Um. no."
"But I'm so hungry!" said Insufferabilus raising his sword toward the chicken.
"Sustinence would help us perform your task!" added the Necromancer helpfully.
"Give Og eat! NOW!!" yelled Og waving his axe.
"Look, go do my task. and.I'll make you some.chicken.waffles."
"Chicken waffles?" scoffed the Necromancer.
"Like, waffles with chicken in it?" asked Wimpelina.
"Mmm. waffles." drooled Insufferabilus.
Kashya interrupted their drooling.
"Get out! Go! Go kill everything in the den of evil and I will personally kill ten of my own chickens and make chicken for everyone in camp!"
They all left.
"You offered to kill ten of your own chickens?" asked Akara.
"Why not? They'll die like the rest of the adventurers who don't know how to use a PC. I mean, fight."
The four of them made a quartet, only without instruments. They walked steadily onward into the Blood Moor, looking for signs of the mysterious Den of Evil. Each had their weapons ready. Nothing of interest was around them at the moment, so they eventually slacked off their guard.
"Okay, I spy with my little eye something that is.green!" said Insufferabilus.
"Is it another tree?" asked Wimpelina.
"Yup. You're pretty good at this, Wimpy."
"Well it's not like there's anything out here besides trees and dirt. I spy with my little eye something that is. red."
"Is it that apple?" asked Insufferabilus.
"Nope."
"Is it that leaf?" asked Wimpelina.
"Is it that bloody gash on the back of Og's arm?"
"Oh look at that," said the Necromancer. There was a spike sticking out of Og's arm, but the barbarian seemed oblivious too it.
"Ceciliaa, you're breakin me heart." sang Og off tune.
"Stay on guard, people. There must be Quill rats around here."
"Gee, thanks Captain Obvious," said the Necromancer
"Die you cursed corpses of the dead!" yelled Insufferabilus hacking off the limbs of a zombie.
"Og Bash! Now!" Og bashed a Zombie with his mighty fist.
The Necromancer pulled out his wand a muttered a few creepy sounding words. The bones of the dead quill rat quivered and ripped out from the dead flesh. They flew into the air composing a skeleton that looked vaguely human. In its hand was a flail with the quill rat's skull.
"Look at that," said Wimpelina pulling a javelin out the eye socket of a "dying" zombie.
"Hey, it's the best I could do. It's not like Quill rat skeletons look exactly like a human skeleton," said the Necromancer.
"What does it do?" asked Insufferabilus, wiping blood of his sword.
"Go! Attack that zombie in the name of your master!" yelled the Necromancer.
"What is his masters name?" asked Wimpelina slyly.
"Chuckles," said Chuckles, formerly known as Hey, You, Necromancer.
The three stared at each other. Then they burst out laughing.
"What?" asked Chuckles.
The three couldn't answer. Wimpelina clutched her ribs, Insufferabilus had tears running down his face and Og was pounding the ground with all his might.
Looking grim, Chuckles raised another two skeletons from the ground and pointed at the others.
"Attack, my minions! All will hear the name of Chuckles and tremble!"
The three kept laughing. The skeletons raised their flails to attack, but Og merely slapped them out of the way in his frenzy of hilarity. They crumpled into a pile of dust.
"Grrrr!" Chuckles growled. "Enough of this foolishness, Og, Wimpy and Insufferable! Let's go and kill the monsters in the Den of Evil. Time's a wasting, you fools!" He pointed to an evil looking pit in the ground where screams and red light were coming from.
They rose and tried to stifle their chuckling caused by Chuckles. They were mostly subdued, but as Chuckles stomped angrily toward the pit he heard the occasional giggle behind him.
"Sheesh. I don't see what's so funny," he mumbled. "Do you?" he asked a passing skeleton.
The skeleton shook his bony head, but as Chuckles turned his head the skeleton began to snicker.