Same old disclaimer: But I own Darth Warious
H: You own yourself?
W: Shut up I'm writing.
******
Day 4
12:00 am
I'm still here, floating above my body, wondering what the Kessel happened. Haldir has been keeping watch over it ever since he put my body in bed. Maul has gone off to consult our meager resources on what happened and how to fix it. Then, about ten minutes after twelve, I heard a familiar voice calling my name.
(Warious)
I looked up and saw my master, Darth Sidious who was also my beloved Emperor.
(Master?) I asked. (Is it really you?)
My late master looked me in the eye. (Yes.)
(What are you doing here? Am I dead?)
Sidious smiled slightly. (No, you are not.)
Then suddenly I remembered my manners. (What is your bidding, my master?)
(Don't mock Darth Vader.) Sidious scolded. (My 'bidding', as you put it, is this; that you listen to what I have to say.)
Not truly able to help myself, I replied. (As you wish, my master.)
Sidious sighed in frustration, and then began.
(You and Darth Maul have long since achieved Mastery of the darkside. Now as 'Masters of the Sith', you and Maul must move on with your lives. You have already started to do this; you have a job and are well acquainted with this world's ways. Maul, you may not have noticed, has started becoming lax. You must tell him to learn the ways of this world. Be careful, you must not become caught up in it.
I would have you both continue your current routine of meditation and practice. You both have learned all that I could possibly teach you.
As for your house guest, do try to get along with him for once. He is not a Jedi and not your enemy.
One other thing, you will sing "We Are the Pirates Who Don't do Anything" every day. Yes I mean it. First of all, I like this 'Veggie Tales'. Second, it will be very entertaining to me.
Do you have any questions?)
(Master) I began (How have I become like this? Will I ever get back in my own body?)
(You have only come here because I have called you. It will not happen again unless I have something important to tell you.
You will return to your body when Haldir kisses you in the morning.)
(What?!?!?) I practically screeched in the force.
Sidious laughed at my reaction. (Didn't you know? He's been kissing you every morning for the past six moths.)
(Why?!?)
(Think back to one of your more civilized discussions with him. You were talking about things that you want but might never have.)
Flashback ***** Haldir and I were talking. I think maybe it was because I was too tired to argue or despise anyone that we had a 'civilized' conversation. He had asked me what it was I wanted but might not ever have. "Promise that you will never tell anyone," I demanded.
"Nobody will know your answer except me."
"I don't think anyone will ever kiss me, let alone like me for who I am."
"You don't think anyone will like you? Darth Maul..."
"Darth Maul is my brother," I interrupted. "I meant the other like."
"What?"
I sighed and explained the American language. ******
(Okay. So what?)
(So) my master replied patiently (That is the reason. For being such a pain, I have one more command to you.)
(Yes?)
(When he does kiss you, you are to kiss him back.)
(What?!?!)
(I am your master, you will obey. It is not like I am asking you to kill yourself. Tell Maul all I have said that concerns him, and kiss the elf.)
(Yes, master.) I replied unhappily.
Then the image of the emperor faded and disappeared, leaving my alone to my thoughts.
6:30am
I still don't want to obey the emperor. But I will admit that I want to, sort of. He might be just doing it to get away with something that I didn't know about. Uh-oh. He's moving.
Hey, any of you out there want to take my place?
Didn't think so.
Oh crud.
I felt myself being drawn back into my body. Now I can feel, but what I feel isn't exactly what I wish I was. My master was right, I was being kissed. Drat. Reluctantly, I obeyed my master's command and kissed him back. *Yuck* (A/N: I'm 19 in this story. Yes I think kissing is disgusting. I've never had a boyfriend or been kissed.) Haldir abruptly stopped kissing me and pulled back. We stared at each other silently for what seemed an eternity before he spoke. "You are well?"
"As well as I normally am. Why did you kiss me?"
"Why did you kiss me back?" He countered.
"Because my master commanded it," I replied, "I doubt you can say the same."
"No, I can't."
"How about answering my question?"
Haldir didn't say anything and left the room.
7:30am
Maul came to make sure that I was back and I delivered the message Master Sidious gave to me. He took it pretty well, except for the fact that I started to sing the mentioned song. "We are the pirates who don't to anything. We just stay at home and lie around..."
Maul fled the room at this time so I sang louder and followed him. Then I had breakfast.
10:00 am
I went to church, as was customary for me on a Sunday.
1:30 pm
I get home from church to find Maul working on his swoop. "Hey Maul." Maul grunted and went back to what he was doing.
The elf was nowhere in sight. But I am ok with that. I don't want to talk to him about this morning anyway. I got inside and found Zsinj out of his cage...again. "Get back in your cage!" I yelled.
"Make me!"
Stubborn stupa peedunkee sleemo of an Imperial War Lord! I force dragged him back to his cage and made sure I used a lock on the door.
After this was accomplished, I heard a voice behind me. "Why do you insist on locking Zsinj up in a cage?"
"Because last time I let him wander free he almost burnt down the building and wasn't even apologetic about it."
I got away from Haldir and went to my room and locked the door, so I could read Fan fictions online, undisturbed.
3:30 pm
I got a stiff neck and stopped using the computer for the moment. There was a knock on the door. "Go away." I automatically replied.
"No," came Haldir's voice.
"Too bad, I'm not going to let you in." I replied.
"Darth Warious, we need to talk right now!"
"No we don't. We don't wants to talk to him do we precious?" I said doing my Gollum impression.
"Warious you are being impossible! Now open this door or I'll get in another way."
"There is no other way you nasty elf!" I yelled through the door.
"You have a window."
"It's two stories up with no ledge that you can use."
"Why should that stop me?"
But before I could answer I discovered that he was already in the room. "How, in Kessel's blood-stained name, did you get in here?"
"I borrowed the key Darth Maul had." He said shutting the door.
"I'm still not talking with you," I replied stubbornly.
Sighing, Haldir sat down on the bed.
I went back to the computer.
Silence
4:50 pm
We still haven't said anything...yet.
6:00 pm
Went down stairs and ate dinner then went back to my room. Still not talking to the elf. I decided to read one of my many Star Wars novels.
8:45 pm
Yeah he came back into my room again. No I'm not talking to him.
9:45 pm
I went to bed. Still not talking to him.
**************** A/N: Yes I am mean. Any ideas? Please review.
******
Day 4
12:00 am
I'm still here, floating above my body, wondering what the Kessel happened. Haldir has been keeping watch over it ever since he put my body in bed. Maul has gone off to consult our meager resources on what happened and how to fix it. Then, about ten minutes after twelve, I heard a familiar voice calling my name.
(Warious)
I looked up and saw my master, Darth Sidious who was also my beloved Emperor.
(Master?) I asked. (Is it really you?)
My late master looked me in the eye. (Yes.)
(What are you doing here? Am I dead?)
Sidious smiled slightly. (No, you are not.)
Then suddenly I remembered my manners. (What is your bidding, my master?)
(Don't mock Darth Vader.) Sidious scolded. (My 'bidding', as you put it, is this; that you listen to what I have to say.)
Not truly able to help myself, I replied. (As you wish, my master.)
Sidious sighed in frustration, and then began.
(You and Darth Maul have long since achieved Mastery of the darkside. Now as 'Masters of the Sith', you and Maul must move on with your lives. You have already started to do this; you have a job and are well acquainted with this world's ways. Maul, you may not have noticed, has started becoming lax. You must tell him to learn the ways of this world. Be careful, you must not become caught up in it.
I would have you both continue your current routine of meditation and practice. You both have learned all that I could possibly teach you.
As for your house guest, do try to get along with him for once. He is not a Jedi and not your enemy.
One other thing, you will sing "We Are the Pirates Who Don't do Anything" every day. Yes I mean it. First of all, I like this 'Veggie Tales'. Second, it will be very entertaining to me.
Do you have any questions?)
(Master) I began (How have I become like this? Will I ever get back in my own body?)
(You have only come here because I have called you. It will not happen again unless I have something important to tell you.
You will return to your body when Haldir kisses you in the morning.)
(What?!?!?) I practically screeched in the force.
Sidious laughed at my reaction. (Didn't you know? He's been kissing you every morning for the past six moths.)
(Why?!?)
(Think back to one of your more civilized discussions with him. You were talking about things that you want but might never have.)
Flashback ***** Haldir and I were talking. I think maybe it was because I was too tired to argue or despise anyone that we had a 'civilized' conversation. He had asked me what it was I wanted but might not ever have. "Promise that you will never tell anyone," I demanded.
"Nobody will know your answer except me."
"I don't think anyone will ever kiss me, let alone like me for who I am."
"You don't think anyone will like you? Darth Maul..."
"Darth Maul is my brother," I interrupted. "I meant the other like."
"What?"
I sighed and explained the American language. ******
(Okay. So what?)
(So) my master replied patiently (That is the reason. For being such a pain, I have one more command to you.)
(Yes?)
(When he does kiss you, you are to kiss him back.)
(What?!?!)
(I am your master, you will obey. It is not like I am asking you to kill yourself. Tell Maul all I have said that concerns him, and kiss the elf.)
(Yes, master.) I replied unhappily.
Then the image of the emperor faded and disappeared, leaving my alone to my thoughts.
6:30am
I still don't want to obey the emperor. But I will admit that I want to, sort of. He might be just doing it to get away with something that I didn't know about. Uh-oh. He's moving.
Hey, any of you out there want to take my place?
Didn't think so.
Oh crud.
I felt myself being drawn back into my body. Now I can feel, but what I feel isn't exactly what I wish I was. My master was right, I was being kissed. Drat. Reluctantly, I obeyed my master's command and kissed him back. *Yuck* (A/N: I'm 19 in this story. Yes I think kissing is disgusting. I've never had a boyfriend or been kissed.) Haldir abruptly stopped kissing me and pulled back. We stared at each other silently for what seemed an eternity before he spoke. "You are well?"
"As well as I normally am. Why did you kiss me?"
"Why did you kiss me back?" He countered.
"Because my master commanded it," I replied, "I doubt you can say the same."
"No, I can't."
"How about answering my question?"
Haldir didn't say anything and left the room.
7:30am
Maul came to make sure that I was back and I delivered the message Master Sidious gave to me. He took it pretty well, except for the fact that I started to sing the mentioned song. "We are the pirates who don't to anything. We just stay at home and lie around..."
Maul fled the room at this time so I sang louder and followed him. Then I had breakfast.
10:00 am
I went to church, as was customary for me on a Sunday.
1:30 pm
I get home from church to find Maul working on his swoop. "Hey Maul." Maul grunted and went back to what he was doing.
The elf was nowhere in sight. But I am ok with that. I don't want to talk to him about this morning anyway. I got inside and found Zsinj out of his cage...again. "Get back in your cage!" I yelled.
"Make me!"
Stubborn stupa peedunkee sleemo of an Imperial War Lord! I force dragged him back to his cage and made sure I used a lock on the door.
After this was accomplished, I heard a voice behind me. "Why do you insist on locking Zsinj up in a cage?"
"Because last time I let him wander free he almost burnt down the building and wasn't even apologetic about it."
I got away from Haldir and went to my room and locked the door, so I could read Fan fictions online, undisturbed.
3:30 pm
I got a stiff neck and stopped using the computer for the moment. There was a knock on the door. "Go away." I automatically replied.
"No," came Haldir's voice.
"Too bad, I'm not going to let you in." I replied.
"Darth Warious, we need to talk right now!"
"No we don't. We don't wants to talk to him do we precious?" I said doing my Gollum impression.
"Warious you are being impossible! Now open this door or I'll get in another way."
"There is no other way you nasty elf!" I yelled through the door.
"You have a window."
"It's two stories up with no ledge that you can use."
"Why should that stop me?"
But before I could answer I discovered that he was already in the room. "How, in Kessel's blood-stained name, did you get in here?"
"I borrowed the key Darth Maul had." He said shutting the door.
"I'm still not talking with you," I replied stubbornly.
Sighing, Haldir sat down on the bed.
I went back to the computer.
Silence
4:50 pm
We still haven't said anything...yet.
6:00 pm
Went down stairs and ate dinner then went back to my room. Still not talking to the elf. I decided to read one of my many Star Wars novels.
8:45 pm
Yeah he came back into my room again. No I'm not talking to him.
9:45 pm
I went to bed. Still not talking to him.
**************** A/N: Yes I am mean. Any ideas? Please review.