Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Sorry this is so late. I'm finished with the pipe dropping. This is it. I was actually late this time because, last night was a D&D marathon and I was DMing. Tough stuff. I believe we stopped at about 1 in the morning. God, I need some sleep.
The runic arcane symbols on Naruto's stomach dissolved into a fine black mist, to Neji's astonished eyes. What was happening? Naruto's body went into convulsions as raw, evil chakra exploded out from his body. Neji was certain that Uzumaki was unconscious but even in that state he was still generating chakra? That was impossible.
This couldn't be happening.
The black mist rising out of his rival's body quickly turned red as it gathered in a cloud above the fallen ninja, tendrils of energy still reaching into the body below. Gradually the cloud of red chakra took shape and several of the older Hyuuga, those that were still conscious gasped.
Neji looked around, his clan members' faces looking like they had destroyed the world. They probably had. Their abject terror was starting to puncture his veneer of confidence.
The silhouette of a immense canine head formed out of the mists, a cavernous maw filled with razor-sharp fangs and possessed of two burning pits of evil for eyes. He started in astonishment. It was solid. Whatever was coming out of Naruto's body was solid!
A sharp acrid stench filled his nostrils, a couple of the older Hyuuga, full grown adult shinobi had actually soiled themselves in horror at the sight. The smell of faeces coupled with the musky scent of fear wasn't an attractive combination.
Then it dawned on him, what he was seeing.
But that was impossible. That was just a bedtime story to frighten young children into obedience. Wasn't it?
This couldn't be happening.
The Kyuubi was back.
The immense palpable evil washed over Konoha. Every inhabitant of the village stopped what they were doing and shivered as primal fear flicked a long dormant switch in their brains.
Every adult and elder had felt that evil before. The Kyuubi was back. And it was pissed.
Every child stopped their games and stared in awe at the wave of palpable dread that initiated the rebirth of the Great Demon.
Every crying infant stopped their bawling and became deathly silent. In their hearts, the knew. Death was coming to greet them.
The two remaining Legendary Sen-nin, looked up, faces frozen in a rictus of pain and grief. The Kyuubi had been released and the Terror of Konoha had come for vengeance.
The Kyuubi howled in victory. As the moments passed, it could feel the constraints of the seal gradually break away. The last vestiges of its earthly prison disintegrated away as the Kyuubi forced itself deeper and deeper into the World of the Living. With a tightening of its newly formed muscles, it prepared to make the final push and free itself, now and forever.
It launched itself into the air but was held fast. The Kyuubi roared in fury and strained harder to free itself of the last connection to its former prison. Most of it was free and fully formed and thrashing to get free.
Yet try as it might, it couldn't get free. One errant string, a single hair of chakra bound it to the remains of Naruto's cold unbeating heart.
Neji looked on in shock, sheer wonder piercing through his terror, that the Kyuubi was still bound to Naruto's cold corpse.
But that was impossible.
The Kyuubi looked down in terror at the single mote of chakra that held it in place. It could feel the tendril of energy tangle itself around the Kyuubi's leg like a vine. The assembled Hyuuga looked astonished. Uzumaki Naruto is still alive.
Is that...Naruto? Incredible...
Despite the incredible level of damage inflicted upon him, despite all overwhelming odds, despite the fact that his endless supply of chakra was leaving him, despite the fact that he was unconscious and most likely dead, Naruto still fought.
Naruto's eyes flipped open. Where his eyes used to be, two intensely glowing suns burned. The edges of his eyelids and lashes blackened and charred as if exposed to intense heat. It hurt to look directly into that pitiless, azure stare and they looked away.
The body of Uzumaki Naruto jerked into the air, hovering ten feet of the ground and convulsing like an insane, possessed puppet. A trail of white-hot blue lines snaked their way across his belly, inscribing the Demon Seal into his navel and abdomen. The same white-hot azure fire that burned in his eyes burst out from the canyons left by the burning of the seal, reaching upwards and engulfing the Kyuubi in a funeral pyre.
Kyuubi screamed in agony as it was drenched in Naruto's burning chakra. The blue tendril constricted around the demon's leg and started pulling it towards Naruto's body. Immense claws the size of men scrabbled for purchase but it was useless. Great furrows were dug into the earth and trees centuries old were reduced to fallen wrecks as the Kyuubi was inexorably drawn to its gaol, but it was futile. Resistance was futile. The solid form of the demon became spirit as its essence again as it was sucked through the swirling vortex. With a last cry of defiance, it grasped the edges of Naruto's body with its teeth and claws, willing that even if it was sent to the pits of hell, it would take it's host with it.
A large shearing sound echoed throughout the forest of Konoha as the portal to the underworld turned in on itself, pulling Naruto into the ethereal breach before disappearing with a pop.
All around the was devastation. Blackened upturned soil and trees rent into piles of ragged kindling were all that were left in this patch of land. It was as if all life, save them had, been sucked through the portal in its last death throes.
"What the hell happened?"
Hyuuga Hiashi tried to explain the circumstances but was cut off by the furious Hokage. He visibly sweated, having two of the Legendary Three angry at you was conducive to leading a long or healthy life.
"You mean to tell me that in order to appease your own pride and honour in the 'family name' you sicced your own nephew onto your own daughter. Internal clan matter my ass! Not when it concerns the safety of the Leaf! Everybody old enough to remember the first time the Kyuubi attacked should realise the dangers if Naruto is stressed enough to break the seal." she ranted, breathing through her nose heavily. Tsunade grabbed a bottle of sake and downed it one long swallow before motioning for Jiraiya to get a word in.
Jiraiya, the Great Frog-Hermit, usually looked cheerful or in lust. He exuded an air of playful mischievousness that helped him get a long with everyone. He was more like the embarrassing uncle everybody wished they didn't have. He wasn't cheerful now. Face looking like it was hewn from a slab of rock, he didn't look big and playful now. He just looked big. And menacing. He didn't rant. He spoke calmly with an aura of inevitable danger, similar to the feeling one gets before a thousand tonnes of rock falls on you.
"Naruto isn't the Kyuubi. He is the keeper of the seal. That seal is kept in check pretty much only through sheer willpower. Lucky for us, Naruto is the most pigheaded and stubborn little brat I have ever met. But it isn't infinite. If what young Neji says is accurate, we came to within a cunt hair of utter annihilation."
Hiashi didn't mind the foul language used by Jiraiya. He was somewhat more concerned with the fist that Jiraiya was showing him. It was a very large fist. And it got his attention.
"Now, I've got a plan....."
Hiashi shivered.
Hyuuga Neji was surrounded by both former comrades and ex-teachers alike. They didn't look very happy with him. Kurenai, Gai, Kakashi and Asuma were forcibly trying their utmost to restrain Hinata and Tenten. It was proving harder than they had anticipated. Whatever training Naruto had put them through, it really worked well. Tired of Tenten's screaming epithets for the last two hours, Maito Gai, wincing slightly from a headache was forced to gag her. He was somewhat proud that any old student of his possessed such youthful fire but frankly, this amount of boundless enthusiasm disturbed him.
Tenten had interesting plans for various parts of Neji's anatomy. Many of them involved surgical removal. With a spoon.
Hinata had gone berserk, frothing at the mouth. She possessed a raw animal fury which shocked the hell out of those present. This was shy, timid Hinata? Yuuhi Kurenai and Hatake Kakashi had to enlist the aid of some of the younger chuunins to pin her motionless to the ground. Her chakra-enhanced strength astonished them, so much so that Chouji was forced to sit on her to hold her in place.
They couldn't risk Hinata getting loose before Neji could explain himself. Neji had a lot of explaining to do. Maybe after he explained himself.
The revelations that Neji revealed shocked them. It had scandalised most of the assembled shinobi that the rumours circulating the village were actually true. For the most part.
Except for the part with Hiashi joining in. That was just mixed up.
And the ideas about sacrificng children to demons was a complete fabrication.
The charges of animal carnality was a tissue of lies.
So mostly true. When the female ninja heard about the porno videos, they gagged, furious that one of their own shinobi would perpetrate such a thing. The Peeping Dog would die! Kiba looked nonchalant and hoped nobody would suspect him.
When he got to the part about Naruto's 'accident' Iruka and Kakashi looked murderous. It was at this point that Neji broke down. He knew that he had lost all hope of ever getting together with Tenten or reconciling with his cousin. He confessed tearily, to the attempted assassination and how Naruto barely held in the demon before being sucked through the portal to who knows where.
Neji was sorrier than anyone could imagine. He knew that he could never be absolved of his guilt and calmly awaited his execution. He knew in his heart of hearts that not even death could wash away his sins.
Iruka looked more than ready to fulfil the order but as he stepped forward, kunai in hand, Hinata broke free of Chouji, sending him crashing into Gai who in turn broke his grip on Tenten.
Neji watched in slow motion, as the loped towards him, everyone else too startled by their ferocity to react quick enough. This was it. Sweet oblivion awaited him. He looked on calmly and waited for the finishing blow as he knelt there on the ground.
Five paces away. He thought about his father's words regarding destiny. He had thought it an unchanging path which caged him like a bird.
Four paces away. He thought about his first chuunin exam where Naruto had painfully taught him the error of his ways. By beating seven kinds of shit out of him, no less.
Three paces away. He thought of his battle with that lackey of Orochimaru, that spider-freak. He laughed bitterly.
Two paces away. He thought of his last battle with Naruto. Even in his death throes, he fought to keep Konoha safe. That was true honour.
One pace away. He readied his soul for passage into the next world. I'm sorry Tenten. I'm sorry Hinata.
Suddenly a large figure blurred in front of him, snatched up Hinata and Tenten and slammed them into the ground with a resounding crash. Neji started and looked up at the towering form of Jiraiya in surprise.
"Ohayo, mina-san!", Jiraiya looked homocidal but there was a twinkle in his eyes that wasn't there before, " We can kick the crap out of this poor bastard later. For now we need him."
The assembled ninja looked at him blankly.
"Naruto is alive and I know how to bring him back."
Uzumaki Naruto could feel a foot prodding him in the ribs. He groaned and opened his eyes. He sat up in shock. His wounds were gone! His clothing was still just as shredded as before and the seal was in place. He could feel the Kyuubi's snarls of rage echo through the depths of his mind.
This couldn't be real. The strange surroundings were from some demented artist's dreams. He stood upon a long walkway, nestled among golden yellow clouds. There was no sun in the sky yet the sky was pink and lit up bright like the day. The pathway looked weird. Wisps of cloud flew past him, chattering away to themselves and each other.
Talking clouds? Pink sky?
He must still be in Konoha hospital. It was obvious he was sleeping and he was too hopped up on morphine to even dream straight.
"Ahem"
It wasn't so much a clearing of the throat but so much a sound made to register the presence of a throat.
Naruto looked up and rubbed at his eyes. There was no way that he could be dreaming this.
There was a clerk standing above him. He was wearing grey trousers and a professional-looking white shirt and was holding a clipboard from which he was apparently marking things off.
And he was blue. And had horns.
Naruto stared at the horns. He really stared at the horns.
This was one really weird-ass dream.