Episode Two: Roger Meets His Doom

One day, in the sunshiny land of Tortall, Roger paraded around the palace grounds. "Look everyone! Look at my perfect pretty clothes!"

"Gasp!" gasped Thayet. "Someone like me who has a taste of style and perfection!"

"Ahem," coughed Jon, glaring at his wife.

"Heh heh, but I'd never leave you, dear."

"Roger, I thought you were dead," Faithful pointed out.

"Well so are you, you stupid cat!" Roger shot back.

"Oh yes, you're right," said Faithful. "Uh oh." He was then trampled to death by a traveling circus.

"Hey, where'd the circus come from!" Roger shouted. "I never gave permission for a circus to come barging through here!"

Jon shrugged. "Don't ask me, I'm just stupid." He then contracted a deadly stupidity disease and lay down on the floor.

"Since my father is deathly ill, then does that make me king?" Prince Roald asked.

"Sure, why not!" said some various Tortallans. "You'd make a better king than Jonathan!"

"Yippee!" cried King Roald. Being his father's son, he had inherited a large share of stupidity genes. As his first act as king, he accidentally blew up the city of Corus. Well, at least his uncle would be proud of him.

"Okay, that wasn't good at all," the various Tortallans muttered, as they surveyed the damage.

"NOOOOO!" cried Thayet hysterically. "My clothes! My makeup! It all exploded!" She started to scream and convulse in such an irritating way that she was promptly hit over the head and dragged away.

"Um... since I blew up the city, where will we live now?" Roald asked.

"How should we know! You're the one who's king!" screamed Kel. "Stupid nobles don't know anything..."

"Hey, we can all live in a giant hole in the ground!" Numair suggested. Everyone looked at him very oddly. "Just an idea..."

"Well, it's the only idea! So let's do it!" Roald decided.

And so all of the people of Tortall found a nice roomy hole to comfortably settle in.

"Hey, this is my hole! Get out!" ordered a hobbit named Frodo Baggins.

Roald eyed the hobbit suspiciously. "Don't you have a quest to fulfill, little man?"

Frodo looked shifty-eyed and leaned in close to Roald. "Don't tell anyone," he whispered, "but I'm taking a little 'vacation'."

"You furry-footed fiend!" screamed Roger for no apparent reason at all. "This isn't your home anymore!"

"Alright, alright! I'm out of here!" And Frodo disappeared.

"This was extremely weird and pointless," Wyldon commented.

"Well so are you!" screamed Kel. She huffed and puffed angrily and blew herself down.

While all of this happened, a random Stormwing flew lazily overhead. "I feel like wreaking havoc today!"

"Eek! A Stormwing!" cried Roald. He and everybody else all crowded into the hole as fast as they could. All of them except Roger.

"I am too stupid to be aware of the Stormwing that I'm not supposed to know about!" Roger announced. He sat on the ground and scratched pictures in the dirt with a stick.

"There is no one for me to wreak havoc on except for that idiot duke!" moaned the Stormwing.

"Hey, who just called me an idiot!" yelled Roger. He stood and brandished his stick.

"I did!" the Stormwing confessed.

"St-St-St-St-St-St-Stormwing!" Roger cried. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Roald poked his head out of the hole's door. "Roger, quit yelling!"

"NEVER!" screamed Roger.

"Alanna, you may do the honors," Roald said.

"Oh goody!" Alanna ran outside and hacked off Roger's head before Roger could even say "Superfluous", which happened to be a very fun word to say.

"YAY!" cried the Stormwing happily. He befouled Roger's body and then ate it.

"How could anybody possibly survive from eating Roger?" Alanna wondered.

"You have a point," said the Stormwing. He then promptly died.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO! I loved him!" cried Ozorne.

"Wow, that's extremely scary," Roald commented.

Ozorne then flew off to eat cheese, and everyone lived happily ever after. For the time being, that is.