Episode Three: Numair's Unwelcome Lover

One day, in the slightly disturbed land of Tortall, Numair decided that he would scream out the word, "FISH STICKS!"

"What!" cried Alanna.

"Fish sticks!" Numair replied. "They're taking over the world, ruuuuuun!"

"Um...sure," said Alanna. She then ran off to find Numair a good psychiatrist.

Numair then spun around in a circle for no reason. "Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" he spun around too fast and threw up on the floor. "I'm dizzy."

A random servant scurried to the scene and cleaned up Numair's accident. "I hope I'm getting paid extra for this..."

"Nope! Sorry!" Jon told the servant. "Haha!" A hurrock then fell from the sky and scratched him. "OW! What was that for!"

"You must have insulted the Frizzy Sparkly Grammatical Erroring Zebras!" Numair informed him.

"Don't worry, everybody! I'm working on getting that psychiatrist!" Alanna yelled.

"Zebra has the word "bra" in it! Hehehe!" laughed Neal.

Kel rolled her eyes. "Of course you of people would notice something like that."

"Yep!" said Neal.

"I'm bored," Numair announced. "I think I will irritate the king." He snuck up behind and dumped a bucket of dry ice on the king's head.

"OOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!" IT BURNS!" Jon screamed, as Numair stood behind him and laughed. "The burning sensation! Who did that!

Numair pulled an innocent face. "Um... Fred the pickle!"

"Hey!" yelled Fred, feeling insulted.

Suddenly, lo and behold! Roger was standing behind a tree! That poor tree. "Bwhahaha!" Roger cackled. "With my magical abilities I shall cast an evil spell on Jon!" He shot some evil looking orange light at Jon, and then disappeared.

"Duh...what was that?" Jon mumbled.

"I dunno," Numair replied. "I didn't notice anything."

Jon then looked at Numair, and the spell began to take effect. "Whoa... did I ever tell you that you've got the sexiest black hair I've ever seen!"

Numair looked startled. "Jon? Are you all right?"

"Of course I am. Being with you makes me feel all fluttery inside."

Numair started tremble and sweat with fear. "Jon, you're really scaring me!"

"Well, I'm off to find a psychiatrist for Jon too!" Alanna announced.

Jon cleared his throat. "Numair Salmalin, I never realized it before... but I LOVE YOU!"

"AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!" Numair screamed. He took off running as fast as he could.

"NO! Come back, my hot mage!"

"NEVER!" Numair insisted.

"But I desperately love you!" Jon implored.

"Hey everybody, Jon loves Numair!" Gary announced.

"What is the world coming to!" moaned various Tortallans.

"Numair, marry me, I beg you!" Jon pleaded.

"But what about Thayet?" Numair asked.

"Lalala..." Thayet sang, as she took a walk outside. Suddenly, a hole opened up in the ground and she fell through it. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"

"Taken care of," said Jon.

"Well my answer is no. I'd rather marry the giant purple praying mantis than marry you!"

"What giant purple praying mantis?"

"The one over there that's smashing houses and eating people," said Numair, pointing.

"Oh goodness gracious!" said Jon.

"RARRRRGH!" roared the giant purple praying mantis. It grabbed Jon and ate him.

"This calls for celebration!" cried the Tortallans.

Alanna then came running through the crowd of partying Tortallans. "I've just scheduled for Numair and Jon to meet with a psychiatrist tomorrow!"

"Jon won't be coming, he got eaten," Numair informed her.

"YAY!" cried Alanna happily. She then did a stupid little dance. Numair joined in the stupid dancing. "ASPARAGUS!" he yelled.

"Whatever, Numair," muttered Alanna.