Episode Fifteen: Chickens

One day, in the giant health hazard that also happened to be Tortall, Numair was running around making clucking sounds. "Cluck cluck!"

Daine suddenly turned into a chicken and started pecking and scratching at the dirt.

"CLUCK!" Numair screamed. He picked up a worm and ate it.

"What in the world is the matter with you people?" cried Duke Gareth.

"Daddy!" Numair ran up to Duke Gareth and gave him an affectionate hug. Duke Gareth pushed him away. "What the heck! I'm not your father!"

"Of course you aren't! He is!" Numair pointed at Daine, who clucked and continued to scratch around in the dirt.

"I've had enough of this nonsense!" Duke Gareth ran off and jumped into a puddle of quicksand.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Gary in distress. "I'll save you, father!" He dived into the quick sand and both he and Duke Gareth sank.

"Cluck!" clucked Daine. She laid an egg. A few moments later, the egg hatched and a possum crawled out. "Oh goody!" cried Jon. He grabbed the possum and roasted it on a spit.

"That's just plain sic," commented Fred the pickle.

"No, it's delicious!" Jon took a bite out of the possum. "Yum."

"Possums have rabies, you know," said Alanna.

"You're right." Jon suddenly dropped dead.

Myles suddenly came running by clutching a beer bottle in each hand. "Beware! It's the molten lava!" He staggered around and passed out.

"Sure there is," said various Tortallans, refusing to believe the court drunk. Suddenly, a giant flow of lava came flooding along everywhere. "AAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" everyone ran and hid.

"Behold!" said Neal. "I have invented... lava boots!" He put on the lava boots and was able to walk in the lava unharmed.

"Hooray!" Everybody else put on lava boots.

"Cluck!" Daine the chicken was unable to wear boots and so she jumped on top of Numair's head. Numair bent down and tried to eat some lava. "OOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW! IT BURNS!"

"Lava boots are wonderfully jolly!" said Owen.

"Guess what?" said Neal. "I never got a patent for my lava boot invention." With a loud poofing noise, all of the lava boots disappeared. Everyone started to cry.

Joren then bent down and drank up all of the lava. "Yum..." He fell over. "Aaaagggghhhh! It's caused heartburn!" He closed his eyes and died.

"Joren my love, don't leave me!" squealed Kel, who happened to be under the influence of Myles' beer. Owen threw a horseshoe at her head. "Thanks, I needed that," said Kel. "Yippee, Joren is dead!"

Cleon pranced around scattering leaves and saplings everywhere. "Happy Treehugger's Day!"

A random beaver sharpened its teeth and began gnawing on a tree. "NOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Cleon angrily. "DIE, YOU FIEND! SAVE THE FOREST!" He took a hair clip and stabbed the beaver with it.

"Someone stole my Yamani hair clip," Yuki remarked.

Cleon blushed. "Sorry about that."

"Actually, that hair clip is really a wasp in disguise."

The wasp flew out of Cleon's grasp and stung him on the buttocks. "Ow!"

"CLUCK!" Daine the chicken jumped off of Numair's head and flew to the sun. "Chickens can't fly," Neal commented.

"Well she can," said Numair.

"That's not fair, I want to fly!" Neal climbed on top of a roof and then jumped off of it. "OW! I NEED A DOCTOR!" Duke Baird picked Neal, threw him in a hole, and sat down and cried. "My poor, perished son!"

"Hey, you fool!" Neal yelled. "I'm still alive! What kind of horrible father are you!"

"You're not my son. He's my son." Duke Baird pointed at the dead body of the beaver that Cleon had stabbed.

"PROTECT THE TREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!" Cleon screamed. He sprayed a tree with sun block. TIMBER!" yelled the tree. It fell down and landed on Cleon, thus squeezing all of the fat out of him.

"Hey, Cleon's sexy now!" squealed some random treehugger girls. They helped Cleon out from under the tree and dragged him into the forest.

"HEY! SOMEBODY GET ME OUT OF THIS HOLE!" Neal screamed at the top of his lungs. Everyone ignored him and walked away. Neal remained in the hole until the end of time.