Episode Sixteen: A Bunch of Pointlessness
One day, in the seemingly plotless land of Tortall, Alex felt rather strange. "I feel like a cookie." He ate a cookie and then turned into one.
"Gasp!" gasped Roger. "Now I don't have a slave anymore!" Alex the cookie rolled away without a word. Roger shrugged. "Oh well." He then ate one of his shirt sleeves, because it tasted good.
"That's just stupid!" said Duke Gareth. He lost a tooth. "Ow!"
Owen pointed and laughed. "Haha!" Suddenly, a flock of pigeons came walking by. "COO! COO COOOOOO!" Owen jumped around with delight. "I like filthy birdies!" He ran off with the pigeons, got adopted into their family, and completely forgot his human ways.
Wyldon sobbed. "No! Owen, why did you have to go!" George crept by and stole Wyldon's first aid kit. "Now I must apply first aid to the hideous wounds that I have..." Wyldon muttered. "Hey! Where'd my first aid kit go!"
"Don't get mad, get glad!" yelled Numair.
"That's just stupid!" said Duke Gareth. He lost a tooth. "Ouchies!"
Suddenly, Gary let out a hysterical, bloodcurdling scream. "What's wrong, son?" Duke Gareth asked. In reply, Gary let out another hysterical, bloodcurdling scream.
"Why haven't I appeared yet?" Jonathan complained. "I demand to make an appearance!"
"Quit whining, you fool," said Fred the pickle.
"I'm not a fool, I'm perfect!" Jon then fall over and landed on his buttocks. "OW!"
Master Oakbridge suddenly came up with a brilliant idea. "I think I will make a smoothie!" He gathered up the needed ingredients. George crept by and stole the ingredients.
Master Oakbridge screamed a scream of terror. "Whatever happened to my ingredients! Oh well!" He picked up Jon and threw him in a giant blender instead. Five minutes later, Jon was turned into a smoothie. "Eew, I'm not drinking that," said Master Oakbridge. "Here Roger, do you want it?"
"What is it?" asked Roger.
"If you drink it, it will give you world domination!"
"Oh boy!" Roger eagerly grabbed the smoothie and chugged it all down in a single gulp. "Bleh! It tastes like stupidity!" The utter stupidity of the smoothie ended up poisoning his veins, and he died.
"That's just stupid!" said Duke Gareth. He lost a tooth. "Darn it!"
Suddenly, for no reason at all, it started raining pocket watches. One of the pocket watches fell down on Wyldon's head, and he fainted. It is a proven fact that pocket watches hate bald people.
Suddenly, Gary let out a hysterical, bloodcurdling scream.
Alex the cookie rolled by and was suddenly crushed by one of the pocket watches. A flock of birds came to peck at his remains.
"The whole world has gone completely haywire!" Fred the pickle cried in alarm. "MAKE IT STOP!" It stopped raining pocket watches.
Suddenly, Gary let out a hysterical, bloodcurdling scream.
"That's just stupid!" said Duke Gareth. He lost a tooth. "Grr! Why does this keep happening!"
"Maybe you would quit losing teeth if you would stop chewing on shards of glass," Duke Baird remarked, who had suddenly become an expert on glass.
"Shards of glass! I thought that was gum I was chewing on this whole time!" the duke hastily spit out the shards of glass.
Suddenly, Gary let out a hysterical, bloodcurdling scream.
"Why the heck does my son keep screaming hysterically!" Duke Gareth wanted to know.
"THE PIGEONS ARE COMING! THE PIGEONS ARE COMING!" Gary screamed in reply. Suddenly, a huge flock of pigeons swooped by and ate up all the bread. "Nooooo! Not that bread!" Gary screamed. He ran far far away never to be seen again. And the Tortallans preferred things that way.