Episode Eighteen: Zhaneh and the Beast

One day, in the occasionally offensive land of Tortall, Thayet was venting out her hatred towards magic. She had never hated magic before, but on this particular today, she had suddenly decided to hate it. "Magic is stupid."

"WHAT!" cried Numair. He started convulsing madly.

"Well it is!" huffed Thayet.

Liam suddenly ran up to the queen and knelt down in front of her. "Finally, a fellow magic hater! Thayet, you're my new best friend!"

Suddenly, Alanna, who was standing next to Thayet, created some magic light. "Eek! Magic!" Liam screamed like a girl and ran away.

Numair had stopped convulsing and was now very angry. "Thayet, you insult magic!" He shot some black light out of his hands and turned Thayet into a hideous beast. "Haha!"

"Eew, what the heck happened to Thayet?" said Jon. "Oh well!" He happily skipped around throwing bread crumbs at Kel's sparrows.

"MY SPARROWS!" screamed Kel furiously. "MINE!" She attacked Jon with her glaive. Jon let out a high-pitched squeal and ran away to hide. Thom, who was standing in the background and had come back from the dead, turned himself inside-out.

Thayet looked into her handy-dandy mirror. The mirror gave a scream of terror and died, shattering into several small pieces. Thayet cried and gave her mirror a burial.

Numair was now happy instead of angry and was riding on a broken pogo stick. Roger ran up to him and kicked the pogo stick, breaking it even more. Numair fell off of it. "Ow! I fractured my left buttock!"

"I'm so disturbingly ugly," Thayet wailed. "And now everyone hates me."

"I love you, Thayet!" cried Zhaneh Bitterclaws, that irritating female Stormwing who kept popping up and wanting to kill Daine during the Immortals War.

"Hooray! Someone likes me!" squealed Thayet.

"Let's run off together!" suggested Zhaneh. "You don't need these losers!"

"But you're a Stormwing! And you're female! Both of those things just aren't right!"

"I don't care!" said Zhaneh. "I don't care if you're a human and that you're female! I love you for yourself and for who you are!"

At those words, Numair's spell was broken and Thayet turned back to normal. "You broke the spell! I'm beautiful again!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Numair. "Stupid spell! Why the heck did I create a counter-spell that would break it?"

Thayet and Zhaneh Bitterclaws then ran away together, and Owen started singing the Beauty and the Beast theme song. "Beauty and the Beeeaaaast...!"

"Now that was the scariest creepiest most disturbing thing ever," commented Fred the pickle.

Thom, who was still standing in the background, turned himself inside-out. "That was disturbing too," said Fred. "And that's not even physically possible."

"It is for me." Thom turned himself inside-out again. Fred ran off and went far away so that he could have some peace and sanity.

"I have an albino polar bear," Numair announced.

"How can it be albino if it's a polar bear?" Cleon asked in confusion.

"I don't know," said Numair. He climbed up a fig tree and perched there like a bird.

"Look you guys! I have nail polish on!" Jon broadcasted to anyone within earshot. Nobody cared and therefore ignored him. Numair picked some figs off the fig tree and threw them at Jon!"

"OW!" screamed Jon. "I WANT MY MOMMY!"

"That didn't even hurt you," said Numair.

"So?"

Numair picked a fig off the tree and ate it. "Yum." He spit it out and ate it again. "Double yum." He spit it out and ate it again. "Triple yum."

"That's disgusting," said Daine in disgust.

"I want to be an Oscar Meyer wiener!" screamed Daine's dragon Kitten. She ran off to the meat factory.

"What was that all about it?" asked Daine in confusion. She suddenly tripped and fell into and ice pond and was fished out by an Eskimo. "Oh boy! Lunch!" said the Eskimo.

"You idiot!" I'm not a fish!" yelled Daine, who was not a fish.

"Oh, darn it." The Eskimo sat there and said nothing for a few minutes. Suddenly, he sprang to his feet and cried, "Oh well! Lunch anyway!"

"Who mentioned lunch? I'm hungry," said Jon.

The Eskimo dropped Daine and grabbed Jon. "Wow, you look like a much tastier fish!" He shoved Jon in a bucket and took him home.

"Better him than me!" said Daine. She ran away and decided to live in a laundry basket. Lalasa approached the laundry basket. "I'd better do the laundry now..."

Suddenly, Daine popped out of the laundry basket. "BOOOOO!" Lalasa screamed and then fainted. "Hahaha!" laughed Daine. She hid herself beneath the clothes again and waited for her next scaring victim.

Thom, who was still standing in the background after all this time, turned himself-inside-out. His father used to tell him that his body would stick that way, but he didn't listen. He was forevermore known as Inside-Out Thom.