Episode Nineteen: Applesauce of Utter Doom

One day, in the mental problem land of Tortall, Numair picked a blade of grass and put it on top of his head! "Look, I have a hat! Hehehe!"

"Aaaaggghhh!" screamed Lalasa. "It is an insult to hats!"

"Oh be quiet!" said Kel, throwing a kiwi at Lalasa. Lalasa ate the kiwi and then left so that she could spend her daily ten hours at the dry cleaners. Lalasa dearly loved the dry cleaners.

Numair picked another blade of grass. "NOOOOO!" screamed a random gardener, waving his shovel around hysterically. "You're destroying my hard work!"

Numair set the gardener's pants on fire and continued picking grass.

"You will be corrupted by the evil greenness of the grass!" screamed the ghost of Akhnan Ibn Nazzir, who had decided to make an appearance.

Numair ignored the ranting madman and wove together some blades of grass into a circlet.

"Birds of a feather... corrupt together!" cackled Akhnan Ibn Nazzir. Since he was a ghost and could fly, he flew right into a cloud.

"Ouch!" said Cloud the pony. "That hurt!"

"He flew into a cloud!" Daine told her pony irritably. "Not Cloud!"

"Oh," said Cloud the pony. She then ate Baron Piers of Mindelan, because she had always wondered what he tasted like.

"Use the Force, Keladry! Use the Force!" were Baron Piers' dying words to his daughter.

"Wow," said Kel in awe and surprise. "My father got eaten by a horse." She shrugged and started dancing on top of an apple tree.

Suddenly, without warning, Balor's Needle turned into an actual needle and stabbed Jon in the arm. "Ouch!" yelled Jon. His arm deflated. "Stupid former tower."

Kel was still on top of the apple tree but had stopped dancing. Instead, she held something in her outstretched hands. "BEHOLD!"

"Behold what?" asked Neal rather dimwittedly.

"From the apples of this apple tree I have created... the Applesauce of Utter Doom!"

"Available at a store near you!" added Owen.

Kel threw an apple at Owen. "Silence, inferior being!"

"I want some Applesauce of Utter Doom!" said Roger. Kel handed him some. "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! Wait, what does it do?"

Kel shrugged her shoulders. "Um... you force people to eat it and they become your slaves!"

"Cool! Now I shall a multitude of slaves!"

Alex started to cry. "Noooooo! But I am your one and only slave!"

"Silence!" Roger threw him a cookie.

"You people are all idiots, seriously!" said Fred the pickle, who was most likely the only sane one there. Master Oakbridge suddenly grabbed him. "Oh boy, a pickle! I shall use it in my salad!"

"You can't put me in a salad!" yelled Fred.

"Yes I can!"

Kel suddenly popped up and tapped Master Oakbridge on the shoulder. "Hey, would you like some applesauce?" She held out the applesauce enticingly.

"Sure! I love applesauce!" Master Oakbridge eagerly grabbed the applesauce and ate it. His eyes suddenly took on a strange look, and he kneeled down in front of Kel. "Command me, and I will obey."

"No more salad making for you!"

"Yes master." He bowed several times.

"I'm free!" cried Fred. He rolled away and hid from anyone else who might put him in a salad.

"You know?" said the needle that used to be the tower of Balor's Needle. "Jon hasn't died a painful death yet." It stabbed Jon in the finger and Jon died. "Much better."