Inner Strength,
Outer Battles
Disclaimer: If I owned the Harry Potter universe and all the characters
this would be published in a book, not on the Internet.
Chapter Two – Unbalanced and uncertain
There was no doubt about it; this day had quite possibly been the one most
surreal day of sixteen-year-old Harry Potter's life (and that included the
day when he discovered his whole life had been a lie and he was, in fact, a
wizard). There was definitely no doubt that it had not turned out as he
had expected.
For one thing, he had expected to spend the day doing chores and getting
shouted at by his Aunt and Uncle for being a "worthless, good for nothing
freak". Instead he had been rescued by Nymphadora Tonks, Mad-Eye Moody,
Kingsley Shacklebolt and Remus Lupin and escorted by them and another
unknown contingent of witches and wizards acting as a rear guard to 12
Grimmauld Place, London – the Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix.
There he had had a brief meeting with Albus Dumbledore, which had gone only
slightly better than their last meeting, in that whilst once again he
couldn't believe what he was being told and he did get angry, he didn't end
up wrecking the room and destroying half the contents of the room in which
they met as he had done previously.
He was going to have to leave Hogwarts, the only real home he had ever
known. Leave school and all his friends and go into hiding.
Harry had tried to say that he wasn't going, that he was going to face what
was coming and face it head on. He was a Potter, and Potter's didn't hide.
However, no one had listened to his arguments. Once again, as had happened
many times in his fifteen years on this earth, someone else had made a
decision about what was best for him and had not taken his wishes into
account.
Sometimes, Harry couldn't wait to be two years older and be a fully
qualified adult wizard. They would have to listen to him then.
So here he was, many thousands of miles away from home and those he
considered to be his real family. No, he had never expected to end the day
in a strange country after being told that in all likelihood he would be
spending almost all of the next year here for his own safety.
It was, in fact, the first time Harry had ever left the United Kingdom –
the Dursley's having always left him with Mrs. Figg when they took their
yearly holiday to Majorca. Plus he had started the day with only Hedwig,
Aunt Petunia, Uncle Vernon and their precious Dudley for company and ended
it living with Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks... and Ginny Weasley.
His first real thought when he had realised that he was not going to win
that argument was that at least no one else would have their lives severely
affected by this – sure his friends would probably miss him (and he would
really miss them) but they would be able to get on with their normal lives
whilst he was away. Except, that wasn't to be the case either.
It turned out that Ginny Weasley, his best friend's younger sister and
someone who Harry had just begun to consider a friend in her own right
after the events of the past year, would also be joining him in hiding for
reasons that Harry wasn't privy too. It was probably all his fault though.
Everyone he had ever been close too had died because of him. It had
started with his parents, and then Cedric at the end of his fourth year and
now Sirius had died trying to rescue him from a mess of his own making.
Everything bad that happened to the people around him was his fault and
they would all be so much better off without him.
Of course, no one was ever going to let two teenagers go into hiding alone,
especially when one had for many years had a crush on the other, even if
they had since outgrown it. Consequently, for that very reason, they were
to be accompanied by Remus Lupin, their former Defence against the Dark
Arts professor and who had also been a close friend of Harry's parents, and
Nymphadora Tonks, a young Auror who was also a member of the Order.
So there they were, somewhere in the depths of Africa. Away from all they
knew and held dear, holed up in a little house with only each other for
company.
Remus Lupin surveyed his companions and the room in which they sat.
It was a relatively plain room with little in the way of frills or
decorations. The walls were light blue and what little furniture there was
in the room was plain and functional, doing nothing to add character to
their surroundings. The whole place just screamed "rented house", a place
that had never had the chance to be turned into a real home. It didn't
seem to be a good place to be spending the next year.
Feeling the need to do something, Lupin got up from his seat and began to
pace around the room.
There was a big window that dominated the wall opposite the door. The view
from the window was of the grounds surrounding the house in which they were
to stay – there was a grassy area, a few trees and in the distance a
watering hole around which a few animals stood.
He spent a few minutes contemplating the view from the window before
turning to look at the people he was with.
Nymphadora Tonks was not using her Metamorphmagus powers and instead was in
her so-called "natural" state. She had the blonde curls she kept short and
brown eyes that she had been born with, a look she frequently avoided.
Tonks, as she preferred to be called, believed that as she had the power to
change her appearance at will she should do so at every possible
opportunity. However, she had been required to resume her natural state
whilst they were travelling across International wizarding borders.
He was quite surprised that she had not returned to one of her more
outlandish guises as soon as the opportunity had presented itself. Then
again, he supposed it must take a lot of energy to instigate such changes
in your appearance and they were all very tired after their eventful day.
Ginny Weasley sat staring off into space. She was normally a very outgoing
and confident young girl who he remembered fondly both from when he had
taught her at Hogwarts and also from the previous summer they had spent
living at Headquarters.
Her long red hair was loose and shielding most of her face from view,
meaning that Remus was not able to tell so well what she was thinking. She
was, however, a lot quieter than she usually was. Too quiet for his
liking.
Then there was his final companion and the one who gave him the biggest
cause for concern. Harry Potter.
There was no doubt about it; the poor boy had suffered some of the worst
things a person could ever suffer. He had come through everything
seemingly unscathed and continued to survive. Life just kept kicking him
in the teeth though.
First his parents died and he was sent to live with his Muggle Aunt and
Uncle who despised him. Then he discovered he was a wizard and went to
Hogwarts. His suffering didn't end there though; he faced Voldemort for
the second time in his young life and walked away from that encounter to be
sent back to his hateful relatives for the summer.
His second year he had killed a basilisk with the sword of Godric
Gryffindor, and rescued young Ginny from the Chamber of Secrets. He had
nearly died in the process.
The tired old werewolf's heart ached when he thought of Harry's parents –
his best friend, James, and his wife Lily, who had died when their son was
little more than a year old. Even though he had not been named as
godfather because of his status as a werewolf, his friends had told him
that they considered an unofficial second godfather, and that were it
possible, they would have made it official.
For most of his life, Harry hadn't had him or his real Godfather Sirius
Black there to look out for him. However he had been able to take up a
teaching position at Hogwarts during the boy's third year and towards the
end of the year, the truth about the night his parent's died came out and
Harry had met his godfather for the first time.
He had still had to return to Privet Drive and his Muggle relatives for the
summer though because of the little matter of Sirius being on the run after
having escaped from Azkaban (the wizard prison) where he had spent the
previous twelve years after being framed for thirteen murders he did not
commit.
Harry's fourth and fifth years in the Wizarding world were his worst yet –
culminating three weeks ago in the death of Sirius, the only real father
figure and source of hope for a better life young Harry had ever had.
Then barely an hour after the second death Harry had witnessed in less than
a year, he had found out exactly why You-Know-Who wanted to kill him.
It just so happened that a prophecy had been made which stated that either
Harry had to kill Voldemort or he would be killed by him, there was no
alternative.
Lupin shook his head as he realised just how amazing it was that the son of
his friends was as sane and near normal as he was considering all he had
been through.
That was what the next year was for though. Dumbledore had explained to
the members of the Order that he believed the best way to ensure that Harry
would be able to defeat You-Know-Who was to send him into hiding.
The time he spent in hiding could be used to give him accelerated training
in order to give him more of a chance when the final battle came.
That was fine, Lupin completely understood the logic behind that idea and
had willingly agreed to accompany him. It was the least he could do for
the boy he considered to be the son he had never had. James, Lily and
Sirius may not be able to be with Harry, but he could be and he planned to
be the best possible father substitute.
Tonks looked up and smiled as she watched Remus pacing around the room. He
looked as uncomfortable as she felt.
"Hey, you guys?" She spoke up deciding that it was probably a good idea to
break the silence that lingered between the four of them before it lasted
any longer.
"Yeah?" said Ginny uninterestedly, as the other two looked on silently.
"Is everyone OK? Do you need anything?" Tonks continued, knowing that the
truth was the two teenagers were anything but all right, but feeling the
need to ask anyway.
Lupin nodded encouragingly, to show that he was fine, and that she had had
the right idea.
"Fine," retorted Harry, who didn't seem to be in the slightest way fine
whatsoever.
Ginny didn't answer. She just sat there and continued to stare off into
space. This worried the Auror and she walked over towards the girl she
liked to think of as the little sister she never had and sat down next to
her.
"Alright?" she asked softly. She felt very unsure of what she was supposed
to do to make her feel better. She was an Auror, not a mother and she had
little experience of comforting anyone her own age, having found her
special powers as a Metamorphmagus had made it very difficult for her to
make lasting friendships before she had joined the Order. However she had
to do something, anything, to make the normally sassy young redhead more
comfortable.
Tonks saw that Ginny's lip quivered as she sat there and she was obviously
fighting a losing battle against tears as her eyes had that glassy
appearance they often had when someone was upset. Just as she was about to
reach out to her, and attempt to offer some reassurance, Ginny jumped up
and ran from the room.
The youngest Weasley ran from the sitting room straight into the room she
had been told would be hers.
She slammed the door behind her and threw herself down onto the bed.
Burying her head in the mountain of yellow pillows, that complimented the
red paint on the walls and covered the bed, she burst into tears.
What she wouldn't give right now to see her mother and have her hug her in
the way that only she could. The way that made you feel that no matter
what had happened everything was going to be ok.
She wasn't going to get that hug though, was she?
Ginny lay there crying for a good few minutes. She wasn't sure how long
had passed when she heard the door open.
Tonks slipped into the room and looked down at the crying girl, feeling her
heartbreak at what she saw. She sat down on the bed next to her and pulled
her into a sitting position next to her.
"Ginny, is there anything I can get for you?"
Ginny made a noise halfway between a laugh and a sob and answered bitterly
"Not unless you can get my mum," knowing that that was impossible.
The Metamorphmagus knew that Ginny was unaware of the reasons why she had
had to go into hiding with Harry and that that had made it doubly difficult
for the young girl to say goodbye to her family and leave them behind to
face the next year completely alone. Even Tonks herself wasn't fully sure
of the reasons behind the decision but she wasn't one to question the
decisions of Albus Dumbledore. He wasn't the sort of person you could
question, for one thing, he just always gave the impression that he knew
what was happening and also that he knew more than he was letting on.
Still, none of that would be any help to her right now. She needed to calm
Ginny down and try to help her begin to accept the situation.
"I know I'm not as good as your mum. I could never hope to replace her,
but I'm here if you need someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on. Remus
and me aren't just here to protect you, you know. We're here to look after
you too." Slipping an arm around the crying girl she drifted off into
silence.
Tonks sat watching as she struggled to regain control of her emotions and
stop crying. She said nothing as the minutes passed silently, hoping that
her presence alone would be adequate reassurance and wondering exactly what
she had gotten herself into. She could guard Ginny and Harry in her sleep.
She had had loads of experience of pulling guard duty in countless
different situations. That was one of the most important parts of what
being an Auror was all about.
To be a parental figure to two teenagers, who had been taken from their
families in order to protect them, wasn't something she could do though.
She just hoped Dumbledore knew what he was doing; she wasn't cut out to be
a mother. She was just a clumsy Auror who was little more than six years
older then them and didn't think she even wanted children of her own. Or
at least, not at anytime in the near future.
"I k-know," Ginny spoke haltingly as she still hadn't quite stopped crying.
"But its j-just I wish she could hug me and tell me it'll all be ok, like
she used to when I was a little girl."
"I can't promise that it'll all be ok, sweetie. But I can promise that
we'll all do our best to see that it is. And I may not be as good at
hugging as your mother but I can give it my best shot."
Pulling Ginny into a tight hug the two remained that way for some time
until Remus knocked on the door to check on them.
After Ginny had washed away the traces of tears that remained on her face,
she and Tonks went back through to join Harry and Remus in the other room.
Harry looked up and smiled at Ginny when she re-entered the room. He
figured that all this was probably a lot harder on her then it was on him.
She had an actual family who loved her that she had had to leave behind.
All he had was relatives who thought he was a freak and didn't want
anything to do with him and a few close friends who were all in danger
because of him.
Seeing her run from the room clearly on the verge of tears had upset him
but he hadn't known what he could do to help her so he had left it to
Tonks. Besides, he figured that Ginny would probably prefer to be
comforted by another girl than by him.
"We made some sandwiches, would you like some?" he offered gesturing to the
dinner that he and Remus had made.
Ginny smiled back somewhat shyly, she was a little embarrassed about her
earlier behaviour. "Yeah, I guess I am a little hungry." She quickly sat
at the table and helped herself to a ham and cheese sandwich.
"Well, I don't think either of us would win any awards for the world's best
cook, but hopefully those sandwiches will meet with your approval." Joked
Remus.
Tonks pretended to be shocked by the news that the two men had made dinner
without any help and without being prompted.
"You two made food? Are you sure you want to take that risk, Ginny?"
sarcasm was a gift of Tonks' that she used to the best of her abilities now
"Don't know if I'd risk it."
She was pleased to hear Ginny give a short laugh in response – she was
clearly feeling better.
The meal passed quickly, nobody really ate a lot but dinner could
officially be considered a success. They made idle small talk about the
journey to Africa, the house they were staying in and the wonderful view
they had of the plains outside.
After they had finished eating, Remus explained the mechanics of the
version of the Fidelius charm that they had been placed under.
Basically they were hiding under a different variation of the charm to the
one that Harry's parents had used fifteen years previously. It meant that
nobody looking for them other then those who they were in hiding with could
find them. Where it differed was that they were not confined to the house
and garden; instead the charm covered a certain distance surrounding the
house giving them a limited amount of freedom.
The charm also allowed them to hide in plain sight their most
distinguishing features such as Harry's scar and Ginny's distinctive
Weasley red hair. Meaning that they need not worrying about interacting
with any people they may meet.
Silence fell over the four of them once again as the two teenagers sat and
digested both the meal and the events of the day. It wasn't the
uncomfortable silence that had reigned earlier. Instead it was more
relaxed and felt totally natural – as though they were comfortable with
each other and the situation. While that wasn't completely the case they
certainly were a lot more at ease then they had been just two hours
earlier.
The hour grew later and Remus sent the two teenagers towards their beds,
explaining that they would have a busy day the next day and would need to
be up early.
