Aragorn strolled through the door as if he had not a care in the world. It
had been a wonderful Saturday morning. The birds were singing, the sun was
shining, and he could not have ordered a better day. Then he saw her,
Arewyn, his ethereally beautiful, elfin wife. She was lying on the couch,
wearing "The Outfit". cue up the "Psycho" music The outfit consisted of
one XXXL Texas Tech "Red Raiders" sweatshirt, red plaid jammie bottoms and
hot pink "Mushmellow" house slippers. He shuddered because he knew that
lurking underneath the jammie bottoms were the largest pair of "Hanes Her
Way" grannie panties in Middle Earth. Suddenly, his wonderful Saturday had
been obliterated by...MMV, AKA "Mister Monthly Vistor". Yes, Arewyn was
riding the crimson wave. Quietly, he backed up, but before he could make
his escape, he heard from the depths of the couch, "Honeyyyyyyyy".
"Yes, dear?" he replied, knowing what was coming next but praying he would be wrong.
"Can you go to Walgreen's for me and get me some supplies?" she whined.
"Sure." he ground out knowing that if he did not, the next visitor would be "Sir Spanks-a lot" and he would be around a lot longer than MMV.
"You're the BEST!" she chirped then asked, "While you're there, can you also get me a jumbo bottle of Pamprin, 2 of those giant Hershey bars and this month's In Style magazine?"
"Sure." he repeated wondering if there is anything, she can do to further emasculate him.
Arewyn rose to the occasion. "Remember, I like the Stayfree Maxi's with the wings. Do not get the tapey wings; get the ones with the Velcro. And do not get the extra-long, get the regular. And I like the fresh scent, not the baby-fresh scent." She rambled on, but by then Aragorn had tuned her out intent on getting in and out a quickly as possible.
"Yes, dear?" he replied, knowing what was coming next but praying he would be wrong.
"Can you go to Walgreen's for me and get me some supplies?" she whined.
"Sure." he ground out knowing that if he did not, the next visitor would be "Sir Spanks-a lot" and he would be around a lot longer than MMV.
"You're the BEST!" she chirped then asked, "While you're there, can you also get me a jumbo bottle of Pamprin, 2 of those giant Hershey bars and this month's In Style magazine?"
"Sure." he repeated wondering if there is anything, she can do to further emasculate him.
Arewyn rose to the occasion. "Remember, I like the Stayfree Maxi's with the wings. Do not get the tapey wings; get the ones with the Velcro. And do not get the extra-long, get the regular. And I like the fresh scent, not the baby-fresh scent." She rambled on, but by then Aragorn had tuned her out intent on getting in and out a quickly as possible.