One Dark Night

Silence. Cold steely silence that seemed to envelope all and narrow one's entire world under its constricting blackness. It was the kind of reticence that can only be found when one is alone at night, unable to sleep. It was the kind with which Raven now had to contend. Under usual circumstances she welcomed the silence as precious time for meditation and relaxation from her often rambunctious friends but now, as she lay awake and unable to find slumber in her bleakly decorated room, she could only loathe it.

Cropped purple hair sprawled languidly across the white pillows where she lay clad in black silk pyjamas with the covers thrown to the floor and she moaned with discomfort as the day's events swam in her agonisingly alert brain.

As usual the activities in the T tower had been interrupted by an alert. They were needed in the city to fend off another of the many monsters than threatened Jump City. None of them had been unduly worried as they set out to do their duty as Titans. The daily skirmishes had become routine.
The disturbance, as it turned out, was another bumbling but maniacal stooge that wanted his time in the spotlight and as much enjoyment as he could derive from terrorising helpless citizens.

However, the bumbling stooge may not have had a clue what he was doing but he did have a dangerous secret. He had been a changeling! Or perhaps…had somehow acquired the power to change. As the Titans had been close to victory he had revealed his true form - A gigantic, carnivorous worm type creature. It had had dripping fangs and row upon row of bright blue, glistening eyes all the way down its body, the two largest were stationed, one each, at the head and the tail making it difficult to tell which end was which.

Thirty perilous minutes had been spent trying to subdue the monster as it thrashed and struck at them erratically. Raven had been hovering above its tail in the final minutes, ready with her Azarathien words to deliver the concluding blow. But as she had raised her hand to her face and began to chant a streak of green zoomed past her in a blur of motion. Beastboy had morphed into a large bird and was heading for the eye on the monster's tail. That fool had thought that he was flying towards the eye on its head! He was going to get himself killed! Without thinking Raven had redirected her powers towards the lightening fast bird, using them to catch hold of him and drag him backwards, out of harms way. The lapse in concentration had cost Raven dearly for, while her attentions had been on correcting her team-mate's mistake she had not been paying attention to the monster. The monster that had, as she'd predicted, seen Beastboy's attack with its tail eye and had snapped its head end around with unbelievable speed to stop him. The monster that had seen Beastboy was now out its reach. The monster that had then seen Raven much closer. The monster that had reared back, opened its gapping maw and struck with deadly precision. The monster that had swallowed her whole.

Raven shuddered in her bed as the memory of that revolting sensation replayed itself. She could not remember anything else of what had happened inside the beast. The next thing she had known was waking up slowly to the worried faces of her friends peering over her. She had been lying on grass at the site of the battle, drenched in green saliva but the monster nowhere to be seen. As Starfire had pounced on her with a most unwelcome hug and Cyborg had clapped her on the back Robin had then explained how the monster had stopped dead in its tracks moments after she had been swallowed, become engulfed in a pulsing black aura and suddenly exploded.

Raven had promptly gotten to her feet after the story had been told, trying to rid herself of the disgusting goo and refusing the assistance her friends offered. This hadn't been the first time her powers had taken command of themselves. Her powers were tied with her emotions and raw emotion meant raw power. She had been afraid, no, terrified as that beast swallowed her so it made complete sense. She was just lucky that the explosion had been so contained… When she felt too much, her powers became unruly. Dangerous. It must not happen again.

Beastboy had been uncharacteristically quiet during Robin's explanation. It wasn't like him to pass up an opportunity to describe an explosion, especially one that would have undoubtedly involved lots out flying guts. But Raven hadn't cared. At that moment she had felt like squeezing the life out the wretched green moron! His stupidity could have cost her her life and for what? The sake of one victory over a stupid worm?

The resentment she felt for Beastboy had stayed with her during the team's trek back to the tower but slowly another feeling, one that she was not so accustomed to, joined it. It has a bizarre sensation of nothingness. One that made her body shiver and legs tremble. Weakness soon followed and she had realised that a cold, clammy sweat had begun to cling to her pale forehead.
When they reached home Raven had told no one of her ailments but when the others all decided to search for a pizza place still open and go for late dinner she had refused and retired early to bed insisting that it was for meditation purposes.

But it had been a lie.

Raven shivered. She was so unbelievably cold now where as moments ago she had been roasting under her covers. As she sat up to retrieve them from the floor her stomach lurched with nausea and her head swam. What was happening? These feelings…sensations… She raised a trembling hand to her face and pinched the bridge of her nose in a desperate attempt to relieve some of the pressure from her aching head. The room felt as though it was spinning and it seemed to be gaining momentum, blurring as if with motion. A dry heave shook her frame as she sat on her knees desperately grasping for some kind of relief and she knew that she could stay in her room no longer, it suddenly felt like a tomb. Climbing shakily to her feet, trying her hardest to ignore the new wave of nausea that swept over her, she bolted for the doorway, stumbling over the frame.

Raven felt that she would collapse as she emerged running into the huge open plan room in the center of the T tower's upper levels. She made it finally to one of the glass walls that the room was constructed from and braced herself against it. Warm light from Jump City pored in through the glass walls, dimly casting the huge room in its glow but Raven could find no comfort in the light, it only served to make her feel more isolated with her immense surroundings revealed to her. She clutched her stomach and braced herself against another fresh sweep of nausea, determined not to make a sound. It rushed over her like some agonising wave of water, receding as quickly as it came, leaving her trembling and frightened, fearing the next.

Suddenly, she felt the tiny hairs on the back of her neck stand on end and the soft yet unmistakable sound of footfalls came to her. But they were not those of a human.

Tensing her aching form Raven clenched her fists and scanned the room. If there were an enemy with her there would be no way she could fend it off in her present condition. She felt so unfocused and queasy that she wasn't even sure if she could summon her powers anymore.

The footfalls grew closer and she peered desperately into the gloom hoping to make out even a silhouette. Suddenly she saw it…coming straight for her was…a cat. She blinked twice as if doubting her own vision. The Titans didn't own a cat. Then the creature emerged into the light and she saw that it was green. Damn that Beastboy he must have stayed home also! For the second time that day she found herself loathing his presence.

"What do you want." She asked flatly using the tone of someone that really means 'Leave me alone'. She hoped that Beastboy would pick up on the subtle malice and leave without word.
But it was only then that the kitty seemed to notice her and stopped dead in its tracks. It paused for a second, its tiny body hesitating as if it could not decide with way to turn or what to do at all. Suddenly it seemed to make up its mind and the cat appeared to turn liquid for a moment before Beastboy emerged from the reforming DNA. He looked most embarrassed and a pink blush painted itself upon his cheeks. Someone else may have made a joke about how sheepish he looked but not Raven. She didn't do funny and the quip didn't even cross her mind.

"Raven…" He stalled, with a nervous grin, "I wanted something to drink… Got milk?" He gave a half-hearted chuckle that quickly faded. "I didn't wake you up did I? I was trying to be quiet."

"No." Raven replied blankly, wishing nothing more than for him to leave her be and for the silence she had been despising to return. "But you are bothering me right now."

The wide grin quickly left Beastboy's face although not in offence to her comment. He was used to her cutting jabs now…more or less. No, it wasn't her words that shocked the changeling but her appearance. Dark circles rimmed usually luminous purple eyes, which were now dull and cloudy, her pale skin seemed even paler and sweat clung to in beads. "Woah…Dude! You don't look so good." He cried before he had time to think.
"Thankyou." Raven replied sarcastically as she readied herself to leave. The dark torment of her room seemed almost welcoming compared to this and the idea of returning to it seemed more enticing by the second.

"No, no," Beastboy spluttered, sweatdropping while waving his hands in front of his face in a frantic attempt to redeem himself, "I didn't mean…I mean you look…It's not that you're not…I wasn't saying you were-"

"Listen Beastboy," Raven interrupted holding up a commanding hand to silence his babbling, "I'm not in the mood for this right now. Whatever you are doing here, hurry up and get it done."

"Right…" Beastboy replied, his air still suspiciously nervous as he turned as if to head for the kitchen. But he did not move from where he stood and, after several moments he turned to face Raven once more. "Actually," He started, his mood suddenly turning sober and sullen as he stared at his feet, "I'm not really that thirsty. I- I feel terrible about what happened today Rave and I know you're angry with me… I mean, you're angry with me a lot but this time… I'm really sorry."

The changeling gazed up at her with wide, imploring eyes. "It's my fault you're sick."

Raven snapped to attention sharply, feeling her frustration and anger quickly bubble to the surface. How easily he had seen through her! She had thought that she had been covering it so well. Damn him! Why did he always attempt to humiliate her so? That stupid, cringing green moron!

The look of growing fear in Beastboy's eyes told her that the ire in her own must be obvious but with another bout of nausea peeking into her awareness, threatening to claim her once more, she felt her grip on her emotions begin to slip. It was his fault! Always his fault! Why did she always end up paying for his mistakes and why did she find it impossible not to forgive him afterwards? She hated herself for not knowing the answers, for being so weak but most of all she hated him for being the cause.

She felt a black aura envelop her and her eyes begin to glow red. She did not fight it. Loosing control always felt so good…so free, as if she could now do everything she'd ever wanted to do, say whatever she'd always wanted to say without consequence. She looked down at the terrified Beastboy who now crouched trembling on the floor, gazing up at her with an expression of fixed horror. Now he knew how it felt to feel so helpless under someone's gaze! Still, the sickness did not abate and her twisted sense of justice blazed all the hotter.

"You wretch!" She found herself saying, her voice distant and ethereal. Then, out of nowhere her voice began to echo about the room, words from deep inside the darkness in her soul. "I hate you." Again and again they repeated themselves, reverberating off of the glass walls all around. Then suddenly, she felt instantly drained, void of all energy as if the words had physically sapped every last bit of it from her body. She fell, the room sweeping itself from under her feet and the walls caving in around her.

Beastboy cowered, watching in shock as the burning ire in Raven's eyes flickered then extinguished as did her pulsing black aura, her taut frame going limp where she stood and her long legs giving way beneath her. Even given his previous terror mere moments ago, he dived to catch the girl before she hit the floor, reaching his arms out and grabbing hold of her pliant limbs, clutching them to him tightly as he sank to the ground.

"Raven!" Beastboy called, pulling the stricken Azarathien onto her back, cradling her head against his chest. "Raven, talk to me!"

But she did not. Her eyes where closed and she only groaned in response as if in pain. He gently brushed the stray strands of violet hair from her face and felt her forehead. She was burning yet the dampness upon her brow was cold. Beastboy was no expert when it came to illness but he knew a fever when he saw one and could tell that the frigid stone floor they were both slumped on would certainly not be doing her any good.
Carefully sliding his slender arms beneath Raven's neck and legs he concentrated on locating the bear DNA present in his blood stream. Mentally catching it he felt himself begin change, the floor getting further away as his mass increased. Raven's limp form rose with him, though now clutched in great muscular furry paws.

Slowly, bear Beastboy waddled on his hind legs towards the long grey settee that was stationed in the centre of the large room. Anyone watching would have probably found the cumbersome bear morph's careful, directed movements rather comical but it got the job done and soon Raven was being lowered onto the soft couch cushions. Returning to his true form Beastboy quickly sat down beside her, lifting her upper body and sliding his legs beneath, her head coming to rest on his lap.

Raven groaned again, her eyelids starting to flutter and he saw her straining to open her eyes. She eventually managed it, gazing half-lidded and dazedly up at him through clouded vision. An expression akin to confusion slowly found its way onto her features as she blinked quickly, trying to focus.

She opened her mouth, trying to speak. "Why…" She started, the sound coming out raspy and harsh but still a joy to hear after her lapse into unconsciousness. "Why are you still here?"

The question fell heavy upon Beastboy's ears and he flinched. After all this time could she still not grasp the concept that people genuinely cared for her? Perhaps...perhaps it was because she would not do the same were the positions reversed.

"You're my friend Raven," Beastboy replied, his voice near breaking, laden with anxiety but full of sincerity, "I'll always be here for you."

His words were heartfelt and true and he hoped Raven realised it. With that, he dismissed all his reservations and boldly pulled her closer to him, his hands pressing tighter against her shoulder blades. She did not resist him, he doubted she had the strength but still…the embrace felt good to him for it was not a vantage he had ever before had the fortune to experience and part of him relished it.

It was the strangest thing…but lately he had been noticing Raven. That is to say, he had always been aware of her presence yet, lately he had begun to notice other things about her. Little observations like…the way the sunlight caught her deep purple eyes causing glistening highlights to dance amongst the sea of vivid colour, the way her hair was always so pristine and gloriously shiny, the way the wind played with it, the beautiful pallor of her complexion, how wonderfully her black uniform threw it into stark contrast, the way her long cloak billowed dramatically about her when she flew and the way it caressed all of her striking curves from behind.

But more than appearance Beastboy had always felt drawn to Raven somehow. There was just something about the secret her emotionally barren, cold demeanour shielded that so intrigued him. Her darkness was like a riddle crying out for someone to solve it. A lonely, anguished girl waiting behind concealing shadows.

So he tried to make her feel happiness. He would think of all the things that would make him happy when he was down and use them on Raven. Jokes to lighten the mood and lift the spirit with laughter, the toys he won at the funfair to show that they cared for her, delicious breakfasts, lunches and dinners to…well, who can be sad on a full stomach? Most of the tokens were met with icy sarcasm and scorn but Beastboy had not given up and after a while his efforts began to pay off. The sarcastic jabs were often spoken in a tone less sincere and more playful, occasionally a small flicker of a smile would show at a joke, and sometimes she would offer him a quiet thankyou and even a compliment in return for his meals. Beastboy had felt he was slowly getting through to her.
And then there was Terra. A pretty girl with an attitude so cool it would freeze the Sahara in a second! She had arrived without warning near the T tower and demonstrated her extraordinary earth moving powers to the team. She seemed so unbelievably well adjusted not to mention the fact she found him instantly hilarious and charming! So easily did she give to him everything that he had been seeking to achieve with Raven for years. But then Beastboy had discovered that she was not what she appeared on the surface, she was a troubled girl unhappy with herself and her powers and he had felt for her. In hindsight Beastboy could see the reason for his attraction to Terra so clearly. She had reminded him so much of Raven. But unlike Raven she had allowed him to help her, had allowed him to get close to her. The validation he had been endeavouring to find in Raven for so many years had been instantly given by Terra. That was her appeal.

He had realised his grave mistake in the end…but too late. He had acted rashly and ignored Raven's own warnings about Terra essentially betraying Raven himself with his rejection, an ironic thought. Now it seemed that history had repeated itself, if on a smaller scale. His foolish actions had rendered his dear friend hurt. She had every right to hate him for it…for everything.

Raven thought she heard Beastboy sob then and crushing remorse for her harsh words and actions began pounding against her skull. She mentally cringed, so completely unsure of how she wanted to allow herself to feel about Beastboy anymore. Every time she thought she had decided just how close she would permit him to come, he would do something most unexpected and shatter all her carefully erected barriers. Out of all of the Titans Beastboy was the only one willing to look deeper in an attempt to see just who she really was.

Robin she found most distant to her. He worked hard for the team, was a great support to all and often agreed with her on many Titan related matters but aside from Starfire he never really spent that much one on one time with any of them nor showed any interest in wanting to in the future.

Cyborg seemed to have taken the role as bigger brother to Raven ever since the car incident. Something she found charming, if a little patronising. She had enjoyed working on the T car with him and even found it in her to offer a large smile of satisfaction at the end but still, the fact remained that Cyborg saw nothing beyond what she presented to him. He had no reason to believe there was anything else.

Even Starfire, who she counted as her closest friend, would not try and dig her way past the icy façade that Raven had so immaculately maintained. Star was just content to let Raven's issues alone and be a pleasing, accommodating person whenever they were in each other's company.

But Beastboy… Beastboy was something different and to begin with she wasn't sure that the 'something' was something she liked. Those huge midnight-blue eyes had a way of seeing straight through every lie and every excuse, seeing the truth in her for what it was without scorn and without disdain. She had to admit the thought frightened her somewhat and she fought with it, dismissing his attempted acts of kindness towards her and trying her hardest to reap contempt from him in the hope he would stop trying to find what she did not want to be uncovered. But still he persisted. Her insults did nothing to faze him and she found that one day she realised that she genuinely found his jokes funny, she genuinely appreciated his cooking and she would genuinely miss them should they be withdrawn. To the observer theirs seemed a most one-sided friendship but deep inside, Raven had to acknowledge that he had become comforting to her.

And tonight the comfort he offered had reached a new level. She had never allowed anyone to come this close to her yet she found that lying there in the embrace of someone she knew genuinely cared was more comforting than she ever believed possible. Such a simple thing it seemed, one put their arms about another and that was an embrace but more than that she knew without a doubt in her mind that Beastboy cared about her, about what happened to her and all of a sudden it felt as though a tremendous burden had been lifted from her aching shoulders. Never had she been held before and the glorious sensation of warmth and closeness was wonderful. All traces of the sickness had vanished leaving her weak still but free from its torment. Yes, this was a powerful thing.

"Beastboy?" She queried after more than an hour had passed in each other's company, not caring that a sigh then escaped her lips.

"Mm?" Came the response. He sounded just as sleepy as she did.

"I'm sorry for shouting at you…" She continued, finding that, even so relaxed and contented she still had to force the humble words from her mouth. "I don't hate you."

"Really?" Came the contented reply.

"Really." She confirmed simply, finding it the only thing her stubborn mouth was willing to utter. But it didn't matter, she knew that Beastboy would hear the words she didn't speak aloud anyway…he always did.

THE END