Note: Yeah, I know that I promised that the next few chapters were going to be uplifting, but I had to add this as a set-up for the next chapter. Sorry!
On his monthly train ride home for the weekend, Adam thought about his nonexistent relation with his father. All of his life Adam's father had had all these unrealistic expectations and dreams that Adam wasn't so sure that he wanted for himself. For Pete's sake, Adam was only three when his dad taught him to skate and play hockey. He even had a specialized stick made for Adam. Every other kid that age was still playing with building blocks while Adam was out on the pond working on intense drills that a three-year-old did not have the capacity or the coordination to understand. It became worse as Adam showed a natural talent and grace for the game and developed an unwavering work ethic and dedication—no matter what he did or what skills he acquired, his dad wanted him to do more. Adam loved hockey and wanted to be on the ice every moment possible. So Adam tolerated his dad—lived in fear of him, perhaps.
The first time that Adam had ever defied his father was the year he started playing hockey for the Division 5 Mighty Ducks, back in 5th grade. At first, Adam thought there was no way he'd play for the pathetic, fundamentally unsound group. On the Hawks, he was the best player in a group of polished and impressive boys destined to fill the ranks of high school varsity and Division I teams. But when Coach Bombay made it clear that if Adam didn't play for the Ducks that he could not play at all, Adam's love of hockey itself took precedence over what team he played on. His dad, however, demanded that Adam sit out the season rather than play with 'that group of good-for- nothing ragamuffins." Adam made it clear that for once, he would not budge to his dad's wishes. His father finally relented, convincing himself that in relation to the players on the Ducks that his son would look THAT much better.
Adam's father was the biggest reason why Adam left junior varsity to rejoin varsity during freshman season. His dad insisted that the only way Adam would get better was to challenge himself playing against better players, but Adam knew that it was going to be a bad idea. Nobody, with the exception of Scooter, liked him—especially after their defeat in the JV/Varsity showdown. Even though Adam improved greatly playing under and watching the team's first line center, captain Rick Riley, hardly anyone ever spoke to him in the locker room or at school. Adam was miserable for the rest of that year, watching his friends bond together as a team without him. Hockey, under the philosophy of then-Varsity coach Wilson, was no longer fun. It was all about statistics and winning, much like Coach Reilly, whom he used to play under with the Hawks. "There is no use in winning if you can't win big," was what he used to say. Needless to say, Adam's father was totally satisfied with the situation. When junior season came around and Adam was finally joined on Varsity by the rest of the Ducks, Adam's father reared his head in Adam's business again. With the Ducks around, he insisted belligerently, Adam would not get enough touches of the puck. "They'll retard his development! Adam makes this team! You can't turn your back on him now!" Adam cringed as he remembered overhearing that tirade outside of Coach Orien's office last year. Adam was actually glad to hone his skills as a passer and liked playing the Ducks' team game again. They played well that way and that was all Adam cared about.
When he explained that to his father, his father slapped him and told Adam to "Be a man. You aren't going to reach the next level lowering yourself down to those...delinquents!" After that day, Adam could not find in himself a modicum of respect for his father. When Adam was placed on national first- team All-America, even though his father acted proud of him, Adam knew he was sneering inside, thinking "Adam could have been Player of the Year if he had listened to me." Now that Adam knew that this was going to be the last time he'd ever see his father, Adam wanted to make peace with him—by finally telling him the truth. He had nothing to lose.
"Adam—I heard that there were some All-America committee members at your game on Thursday." Adam and his father sat in the family car after Adam's train arrived at the station. "Why didn't you tell me about this earlier?"
Adam stiffened, knowing what was to come. "It wasn't that important. Nothing is being decided just yet."
"What do you mean, 'It wasn't that important'?! 'It,' as you so flippantly refer to their presence at your game, may be the most important 'it' in your entire life! I hope you played better than the crap you usually pull out! And I bet you let those teammates of yours prance around with the puck like they actually knew how to do anything with it!" Once again, Adam's father was unreasonably incensed.
Adam despised his father when he degraded the Ducks like that. "Those teammates of mine are GREAT players, and they don't prance around with the puck. And I don't give a crap about Player of the Year if that means stealing all the glory away from the team. That's what hockey is all about, Dad—teamwork and having fun. I don't want what YOU want. Have you ever asked yourself what I wanted? Of course I want to perfect my hockey game, but there are more important things to it."
Adam's father was silent with anger, like he would never forgive his son for thinking this way. All of a sudden, his father stopped the car abruptly, made a three-point turn and started driving in the opposite direction. "What are you doing, Dad?"
"I don't know who you are, but no son of mine would act like as selfish as you are being. You're taking the next train back to Eden Hall. You can come back home when you get some balls and become a real man."
Adam stared outside the window. So much for having nothing to lose, he thought. This would be Adam's last memory of his father.