Warcraft III: The Orc Buildings and Units Show
Chapter 2
Audience gets seated, some Wraith Pilots are buying tickets and are handed a VCD of the last episode
Announcer: Welcome back! The time allotted for this show has been lengthened to 2 hours!
Audience: YAY!
Terran SCV: I love this show!
Sharp-eyed Marine: Where's Marn Thunder-something?
Me: Marn Thunderhorn? He's down with food poisoning.
Audience: Crap...
Peon: Want some help? Can you handle this alone?
Me: Yes, I got my laptop. Boots up IBM ThinkPad
Peon: Huff Puff, blowing up this Barracks is hard work...
Me: Oh for god's sake! We're in 2004! Use an electronic air pump!
Peon: Oh right.
A Troll Headhunter helps to set up the projector
Headhunter: How'd you turn this thing on? Which button to press?
Me: I'll take over, you go inflate the buildings and get ready the props
Headhunter: OK!
Projector turns on and the Windows Logon screen is displayed
I type my password
Peon looks over my head
Me: Whats this? You want to guess my password? Get on with your work.
Peon: OK OK!
I launch Microsoft PowerPoint and load the presentation
Me: We're ready! Okay, lets continue about the Orc Burrow. In this section of it, there's a compartment for Peons to go in. When Peons go in, they arm themselves with spears and start throwing spears at enemies. There are enough food supplies in there to last Peons up to two days on end.
A detailed floor plan for the burrow is displayed on screen and the peon sections are circled in red
Me: Peon, can you do a demo?
Peon: Sure!
The Peon arms himself with a plastic spear and goes into a fake transparent burrow
Me: Action!
A Zerg Zergling runs across the stage. The Peon throws the spear with pinpoint accuracy and the Zergling pretends to be dead
Me: See how it is done? The Peons are trained to shoot their spears with pinpoint accuracy because we try to minimize spear wastage. You wouldn't want to go out and retrieve a missed spear in the middle of enemies that can make toast out of you in seconds would you?
Peon: NO!
Me: OK Zergling and Peon, go back to your movie.
Peon and Zergling goes backstage
Me: This computer is a bother... I'll talk myself.
Suddenly, some Dragoons, Zealot and a High Templar burst in
Zealot: The Orc Building and Units Show? Isn't it supposed to be the Protoss Buildings and Units show?
Announcer: Didn't I email you? The show now ends at 5.00 PM instead of 4.30 PM.
Zealot: I didn't check my inbox!
Audience: Look there!
The Peon is playing Starcraft on Battle.net
Me: Should we continue this in the next episode?
Audience: Yes! We want to watch this!
Protoss Units: Wow! He's playing Protoss! We gotta see this!
Zealot: Can we come in?
Me: Yes, free, but you'll have to sit on the floor or stand. The seats are full.
Protoss Units: We prefer standing.
Peon: Crap! I'm losing! AHH!
The last of his Probes at the expansion base are being toasted as some Siege Tanks pummel the Nexus
Zealot: Let me go help.
The Zealot takes over, letting the expansion base fall and concentrating on the main base instead
The Marines attack the main base but are killed by cannons and Dragoons
10 minutes later....
The opponent's last base is being toasted by masses of Dragoons, Zealots and Carriers
1 minute later...
Congratulations! You are victorious!
Peon: Thanks!
Announcer: Time's up!
Zealot: We'll help you pack up for letting us watch that show.
Dragoon: Yeah.
I walk to the car park and start the car
Speedometer needle maxes out at 200 MPH
Me to myself: Now I'm having motion sickness! Slows to 140 MPH
-----END-----
Chapter 3 gonna be up soon!