Thanks for the reviews, Firefly-Dreams; I'm glad that someone is enjoying my story... By the way, please take notice of the reference to The Promised Land, from the story of my good friend Crimson1 (although, she's actually Crimson, the first and original) called Mission Kinky. It's a must read for everyone who likes sick humor and torturing the boys of FF8... mwa ha ha ha ha!!! evil cackle...
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It had been nearly an hour since Squall disembarked from the Ragnarock and started walking through the dense forest to the immense castle in the distance. He had no idea where he was going, and since the trees above him, though stark in leaves, were immense, he had no idea if he was even close to where he should be.
Squall –Ok, now where? I don't see a sign or a path or anything... Hell, I don't see anything at all except—SPIDER!!
In the middle of his riveting reverie, Squall had noticed a rather large and hairy, black spider descend from the trees. He spent the next few moment s dancing wildly around in an attempt to brush the spider off of himself as is landed on the leaf of a small plant and continued on its way.
Squall – "ACK! I hate spiders! But then again, they're not as bad as—TICKS!!!"
And again, Squall began doing a special dance as innumerable ticks began crawling up his legs. He continued through the woods, never quite getting rid of them, and therefore, without stopping his 'dance'. He ended up running into a small stream and doused himself many times, only to discover that a leech had attached itself to something that, well, can sometimes contain a lot of blood......when it's 'happy'...
Squall – "AHHHHHH!!!!"
In a desperate attempt to detach the leech from his nether-regions, Squall had taken out his gunblade and very carefully shaved off the unwanted pest.
Squall – "Good God, does everything I hate and fear live in this forest?! What else could there be?!"
??? – "Be careful what you wish for, Squally..."
Squall froze (nothing too difficult since he was freezing his ass off anyways from the water) at the sound of a little sing-song voice. Only his eyes moved around frantically as he tried in vain to distinguish where it was coming from.
??? – "What's the matter, Squally? Don't you want to play with me?"
Squall minutely shook his head, not wanting to provoke that which he feared most.
?? – "Oh Squally-Wally, come and play with me! We can play Dress-up and House and Ring Around the Rosy! It'll be so much fun!"
And there, just to his left, emerged the thing that he feared most of all, more than spiders, more than ticks or leeches, more than The Promised Land: little girls.
Squall – "Ahhhhh!"
Dressed in a pink, frilly dress with pink ribbons in her hair, the Little Girl skipped up to him and gently grasped his hand.
Little Girl – "Come on, Squally-poo, I wanna play!"
Squall said nothing, just looked at the small, pink, spawn of the devil and made small, whimpering noises. Not getting the reaction she wanted, the Little Girl tugged gently at his arm.
Little Girl - /frowning/ "Come, Squally, let's play Horsy.........NOW."
Again, Squall said nothing, but continued trying to breath. Angered, the Little Girl tugged again, this time nearly tearing Squall's arm out of his socket.
Little Girl – "You will play with me now and be my playmate forever or I will put makeup on you, dress you as a doll, and send you to The Promised Land!"
Squall – "God, no!! I'm never going back there again!!!"
Broken from his fear, Squall screamed 'Renzokuken' and proceeded to blast the small child to smithereens. When all was finally finished, Squall stood with his gunblade at the ready, still waiting for the body of the Little Girl to get up and smother him in kisses.
???2 – "Oh, my poor Squall, is something wrong? Are you afraid, here in the forest, all alone?
Squall - /looking around wildly at yet another unknown voice/ Who's there?!
???2 - /chuckling deeply/ Ha ha ha ha ha....... I am your worst fear, yet you don't know it yet. What I can show you will haunt your dreams for all eternity and turn you insane by the mere thought of it. I am......
Squall - /after a rather considerable pause/ You are......?
???2 – Irvine in spandex!!!!!
And indeed, Irvine dressed in red and black striped spandex bikini bottoms, burst through a bunch of bushes. His impressive entrance was marred, however, when the bushes, notably with many sharp thorns, tore his spandex bikini in all the right places.
Irvine - ...ooops.
Squall – Good grief! Would you at least cover yourself?!
Noticing something that wasn't supposed to be showing, Irvine quickly grabbed his cowboy hat and placed it over himself.
Squall – Irvine, what in Hyne's name are you doing here?!
Irvine – I am here to unlock your deepest fears and scare you into oblivion!! him having said this as he stalked a little too close to Squall for comfort, especially in his spandex-deprived state
Squall – Umm...Irvine, I hate to break it to you, but you're not scary. Now the spider, ticks, and leech were creepy, and the Little Girl was downright terrifying, but you don't scare me.
Irvine – Awww, come on, Squall. Not even a little bit?
Squall - ..........
Irvine – Ok, ok, since you have vanquished the Duke of Fear, you may pass. But beware, for many more dangers lurk ahead in your long and lonely path...
Squall – Ok, thanks Irvine, but you're a little too close to me now. Would you kindly back away and stop hissing in my ear?
Irvine - ....you ruin all of my fun....
Squall – Yeah, I know. And you might want to put some Calamine lotion on your butt, I think you picked up some poison ivy...
Irvine – Hey, thanks, man. The trail to the castle is just to your right, through those two y-shaped trees. Oh, and what little girl were you talking about? I wouldn't send a poor defenseless kid into the woods! That's just unethical!!
Squall paused a moment, blinking the fearful confusion away, before he turned and found the path to the castle.
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It had been nearly an hour since Squall disembarked from the Ragnarock and started walking through the dense forest to the immense castle in the distance. He had no idea where he was going, and since the trees above him, though stark in leaves, were immense, he had no idea if he was even close to where he should be.
Squall –Ok, now where? I don't see a sign or a path or anything... Hell, I don't see anything at all except—SPIDER!!
In the middle of his riveting reverie, Squall had noticed a rather large and hairy, black spider descend from the trees. He spent the next few moment s dancing wildly around in an attempt to brush the spider off of himself as is landed on the leaf of a small plant and continued on its way.
Squall – "ACK! I hate spiders! But then again, they're not as bad as—TICKS!!!"
And again, Squall began doing a special dance as innumerable ticks began crawling up his legs. He continued through the woods, never quite getting rid of them, and therefore, without stopping his 'dance'. He ended up running into a small stream and doused himself many times, only to discover that a leech had attached itself to something that, well, can sometimes contain a lot of blood......when it's 'happy'...
Squall – "AHHHHHH!!!!"
In a desperate attempt to detach the leech from his nether-regions, Squall had taken out his gunblade and very carefully shaved off the unwanted pest.
Squall – "Good God, does everything I hate and fear live in this forest?! What else could there be?!"
??? – "Be careful what you wish for, Squally..."
Squall froze (nothing too difficult since he was freezing his ass off anyways from the water) at the sound of a little sing-song voice. Only his eyes moved around frantically as he tried in vain to distinguish where it was coming from.
??? – "What's the matter, Squally? Don't you want to play with me?"
Squall minutely shook his head, not wanting to provoke that which he feared most.
?? – "Oh Squally-Wally, come and play with me! We can play Dress-up and House and Ring Around the Rosy! It'll be so much fun!"
And there, just to his left, emerged the thing that he feared most of all, more than spiders, more than ticks or leeches, more than The Promised Land: little girls.
Squall – "Ahhhhh!"
Dressed in a pink, frilly dress with pink ribbons in her hair, the Little Girl skipped up to him and gently grasped his hand.
Little Girl – "Come on, Squally-poo, I wanna play!"
Squall said nothing, just looked at the small, pink, spawn of the devil and made small, whimpering noises. Not getting the reaction she wanted, the Little Girl tugged gently at his arm.
Little Girl - /frowning/ "Come, Squally, let's play Horsy.........NOW."
Again, Squall said nothing, but continued trying to breath. Angered, the Little Girl tugged again, this time nearly tearing Squall's arm out of his socket.
Little Girl – "You will play with me now and be my playmate forever or I will put makeup on you, dress you as a doll, and send you to The Promised Land!"
Squall – "God, no!! I'm never going back there again!!!"
Broken from his fear, Squall screamed 'Renzokuken' and proceeded to blast the small child to smithereens. When all was finally finished, Squall stood with his gunblade at the ready, still waiting for the body of the Little Girl to get up and smother him in kisses.
???2 – "Oh, my poor Squall, is something wrong? Are you afraid, here in the forest, all alone?
Squall - /looking around wildly at yet another unknown voice/ Who's there?!
???2 - /chuckling deeply/ Ha ha ha ha ha....... I am your worst fear, yet you don't know it yet. What I can show you will haunt your dreams for all eternity and turn you insane by the mere thought of it. I am......
Squall - /after a rather considerable pause/ You are......?
???2 – Irvine in spandex!!!!!
And indeed, Irvine dressed in red and black striped spandex bikini bottoms, burst through a bunch of bushes. His impressive entrance was marred, however, when the bushes, notably with many sharp thorns, tore his spandex bikini in all the right places.
Irvine - ...ooops.
Squall – Good grief! Would you at least cover yourself?!
Noticing something that wasn't supposed to be showing, Irvine quickly grabbed his cowboy hat and placed it over himself.
Squall – Irvine, what in Hyne's name are you doing here?!
Irvine – I am here to unlock your deepest fears and scare you into oblivion!! him having said this as he stalked a little too close to Squall for comfort, especially in his spandex-deprived state
Squall – Umm...Irvine, I hate to break it to you, but you're not scary. Now the spider, ticks, and leech were creepy, and the Little Girl was downright terrifying, but you don't scare me.
Irvine – Awww, come on, Squall. Not even a little bit?
Squall - ..........
Irvine – Ok, ok, since you have vanquished the Duke of Fear, you may pass. But beware, for many more dangers lurk ahead in your long and lonely path...
Squall – Ok, thanks Irvine, but you're a little too close to me now. Would you kindly back away and stop hissing in my ear?
Irvine - ....you ruin all of my fun....
Squall – Yeah, I know. And you might want to put some Calamine lotion on your butt, I think you picked up some poison ivy...
Irvine – Hey, thanks, man. The trail to the castle is just to your right, through those two y-shaped trees. Oh, and what little girl were you talking about? I wouldn't send a poor defenseless kid into the woods! That's just unethical!!
Squall paused a moment, blinking the fearful confusion away, before he turned and found the path to the castle.