"There's lovers in the backseat/ Jealous glances now I'm looking for another song/ On the radio/ I'll take you to a side street/ In the shadows you can touch one another now/ And I'll just watch the show."

Lovers in the Backseat, Scissor Sisters

They dressed in silence, almost unable to meet each other's eyes. They ate breakfast in silence and then the time came when there was the noisy scramble of feet in the living room.

"Harry?"

And a few moments later another one. "Harry?" Then a final soft thud and answering laughter. "Professor Lupin, Harry?"

Remus picked up the holdall, resting it on the table for a moment as he peeked out into the living room. "Arthur, Ron and Hermione are all waiting for you."

Harry nodded, feeling a leaden weight drop inside him. He felt equally bad when he realised that he should be joyful at the prospect of staying with his friends for the remaining weeks of the holiday.

He started to turn, making his way towards the half-open door. A sudden and fearsome force spun him around, slamming his back into the wall and they kissed.

They kissed as though the world was about to end. Then Remus pulled away, his eyes wide and guilty.

"Harry, come back at half-term," Remus panted, pausing to quickly nip at the boy's neck. "Please don't leave me for long… I'm a jealous man."

Harry grasped onto either side of the werewolf's head, pulling him backwards before firmly kissing him on the lips. "I promise to come back. Look after Sirius for me, will you?"

Remus didn't bother to listen as sounds of greeting and excitement filled the room next door. Instead he slumped onto a chair, holding his head in his hands.

There was laughter then after a few moments silence reigned once more.

~

Ron frowned at Harry, his freckly brow wrinkled in silence concentration. "You took ages to say goodbye to Lupin," he finally said.

Harry was unsure of how to answer and he felt a sly blush rising in his cheeks. "I was just saying goodbye. There's no need to make it sound so nefarious." 

Hermione nudged Ron in the ribs with a skinny elbow. "Play nicely boys," she said with a laugh. She settled her skirt about her as she sat cross-legged on Percy's empty bed.

Harry forced himself to smile. "Did you have a nice holiday, 'Mione?" he asked, eager to break the awkward silence that had sprung up.

She nodded absently. "Mum took me to a muggle hairdressers and they straightened my hair for me. I swear its like magic." She anxiously fluffed out her recently cut hair.

It hung onto her shoulders in a straight and sleek style that Harry remembered form the Yule Ball. He withered beneath her sharp gaze and nodded. "It looks really pretty on you."

There was something about the way Hermione had said it that made him uncertain. There was something in her tone of voice that reminded him of Cho and Ginny at the same time.

Could it be? Harry smothered a small gasp and forced his gaze away from the matured girl sat in front of him. Did Hermione like him?

He caught a quick glance that went between her and Ron and he frowned. Did Ron know about it too?

There wasn't a chance in hell of Hermione ever being in his list of attractive people. Sure she was pretty in an English rose sort of way but he preferred something a bit different.

The fullness of Remus' lips, the sharp angles of his face and the exotic shape of his large eyes. The whispering huskiness of his voice and the hesitant tenderness of his touch.

Harry didn't consider himself gay. He had never ever been attracted to any of the boys at school and as a rule girls were the gender that he lusted the most over. Usually he desired after their curving shapes, but in Remus he felt none of that.

It was as though Remus transcended sexuality for him. All he knew in the werewolf's presence was that he greatly craved the touch of flesh-on-flesh. He wasn't maudlin enough to convince himself that it was true love.

Maybe. Perhaps.

"Earth to Harry?" a rude hand tapped him on the head, disturbing his thoughts.

"Mooning over someone?" Ron laughed, ignoring Hermione's fierce blushing.

Harry forced himself to laugh, plastering a fake smile onto his face. "Mooning over Moony," he revealed, hoping that they wouldn't pick up on the truth in his words.

He expected at worst, a laugh in response. All there was, was a cold silence. Hermione suddenly got to her feet, mumbling an excuse and fleeing the room.

"Fuck," Harry grumbled, putting his head in his hands. "I always mess up when it comes to Hermione."

Ron just nodded. "That was cruel, Harry. 'Mione's liked you for ages. Don't go and say something like that, it'll break her heart."

And then he left the room, obviously searching for the errant girl.

~

Bizarrely he found her first. It was quite by accident.

He had wandered out of the suffocating busyness of the Burrow and into the garden. He sprawled out on a patch of yellowing grass when he heard a soft yelp.

"'Mione?" he called, hands reaching forward like a blind man. His fingers grasped onto the silky material of an Invisibility Cloak and he tugged it off, revealing the young witch.

"Mione," he repeated, pulling her into his arms. She was stiff in his embrace, biting her lip in anxious silence. Then she collapsed, sobbing into Harry's hair.

"I'm sorry, Harry. I told myself that I wouldn't start crying." She pulled away, organising her straightened hair and wiping beneath her mascara-smudged eyes.

"I'm sorry, 'Mione. Ron told me."

She nodded, front teeth digging into her lower lip without her noticing it. "But you don't like me do you?" her voice wasn't much more than a whisper.

Harry shook his head slowly, trying to meet her brown eyes, but struggling. He felt unworthy of her affections. "'Mione, you don't want to love someone like me… I'm just trouble."

Her responding laugh felt like salt rubbed into fresh wounds. "You flatter yourself mightily, Mr Potter. Love? Pah." Hermoine flashed him a carefree grin that failed to belie the disappointment in her eyes.

Suddenly her face turned sober, and she leant forward to clutch Harry's hands. "Harry, tell me this one thing, then we can leave this subject.

Did you sleep with Remus Lupin?"

Harry swallowed, at the present moment he would have preferred any number of personal or embarrassing questions. He would have told Hermione in the blink of an eye how many times he had masturbated per week, but he couldn't tell her something like that.

Yes, he had sex with Remus. Yes, he had lost his virginity to the ageing werewolf who had at one time been his Professor. Would he tell Hermione? No.

No matter how much he trusted his friends, secrets could never remain secrets in the close-confines of Hogwarts. Within the year the truth would be out and Harry would never live down the humiliation.

Already he could hear the mocking whispers of Draco as he passed Malfoy in the hallway. Word might even spread to the proper authorities. Was what had happened that night even legal?

For Remus' sake their relationship (if that was what it was) could not become part of public discussion.

"No."

Hermione's brown eyes brightened considerably and she leant forward, pulling Harry into a fierce hug. "I knew you weren't stupid enough to do that, but George and Fred kept on coming up with these weird theories about the two of you alone in the house…."

Harry forced a smile onto his face, ignoring the bile that rose in his throat. "Me? Shagging Lupin? You must be joking."

~

You lucky – or maybe not so- people are getting three updates in the space of two days, due to my current bad mood. I hope you enjoyed this chapter- I really don't like it… I find Hermione and Ron especially hard to write. But it's a change from the norm of Remus+Harry makeout and Sirius drunken ramblings. And AffectedMangoO don't worry- Remus isn't the bad guy, this fic doesn't really have one of those. Heck, even Snape's quite nice in the end.