Chapter 8
Lily meandered through the halls for the next week. She felt like all hope had gone. Or maybe that was just her being over dramatic or her hopeless romantic side kicked in. For Lily was a hopeless romantic. She fell in love with the idea of being in love and had yet to have that feeling vanish. She would often cry for days after dumping a boyfriend for who knows why. She herself couldn't even begin to comprehend her sadness. But with James she felt not sad, but disappointed. She had hoped that they would be just friends before anything happened. Why did he have to rush it? She thought.
James spent many nights alone in his room secluded from the world from Lily. Even as he sat on his bed late at night thinking he knew he would have to gain her friendship. Lily wasn't the type of person who you just went out with. You had to know Lily you had to be friends with her. But she had kissed him, his mind argued back. For all that he was worth he still could not find out why she had kissed him.
Claire and Sirius were doing well. Sirius had taken it very slow. He gave her poems, roses on her plate. He was the perfect Romeo. Claire fell for him. She couldn't think about anything other then him. And she knew it was dangerous because Claire was afraid of losing him. After Jade, she couldn't risk someone else. She couldn't watch another funeral. She kept getting images of Jade. They flashed across her mind, her pale skin drowning in the raven black hair her azure eyes cold and lifeless. Claire wanted to talk to someone but she couldn't add her problems onto Lily and Dylan was just too happy. Claire thought herself to sleep that night.
Sirius sat up in his room staring at the night sky. He was so happy. He was going out with Claire. The girl, who was so smart, so beautiful, so full of life. She was so human. Yet she was unreal. Claire was one of those people who made you feel uneasy in her presence because she was so graceful and interesting. Often Sirius found himself at a lose for words. And the only time he could find them again was here sitting on his bed at 2 in the morning.
Dylan walked down and sat by the fire. She looked at the slowly dying flames dancing across the wood. She smiled knowing that all was right although she often worried about Lily. She couldn't help it. And Claire, she worried about Claire the most. But Claire was a strong girl so was Lily. They would both find their way. And with that pleasant thought Dylan drifted off to sleep.
Remus stayed up late that night worrying. He was a werewolf and he had a girlfriend. This couldn't be good. This shouldn't be happening. He would either have to tell her and risk her hating him forever. Or he could break it off with her and hope they could still be friends. Remus argued with himself. But in the end he knew he couldn't lose Dylan. He would break it off. They would be friends. That was for the best he thought as he fell into a restless sleep.
The next day dawned a bright and early November morning. The sun shinned out in the crystal clear sky. The cold was inescapable. Three weeks had passed since the momentous ball and everyone was wrapped up in his or her own little world. Until James finally decided it was high time to end the awkwardness.
Lily was on her way to Transfiguration that Friday when James came up behind her.
"Hello Lily," he said. These were the first words he had spoken to her since Lily had turned him down.
"Umm...hey," she said glancing up at his blue eyes hidden behind his glasses.
"Look I know this is awkward but can we be friends?" James asked silently praying that she would say yes.
Lily thought long and hard. She knew if they became friends she would end up falling for him but she didn't want to regret a friendship so she bit her lip and said, "Alright James, but just friends." His face immediately showed relief.
"Ok," James said and gave Lily a hug. He pulled back awkwardly and said, "Oh...um...sorry Lily."
Lily just laughed at him and the turned into Transfiguration. When they walked in Lily and James separated and took their usual seats: Lily at the front with Claire and Dylan, James at the back with the Marauders.
"Class settle down," said a very young McGonagall. "Today we will be transfiguring these rocks into dogs. This should be very easy for you seeing as we did it last year. But it will be on N.E.W.T.'s so I thought we should go over it."
"Oh, this is easy," said Claire and picked up her wand with the snap of her wrist her rock had become a golden puppy.
"Oh be quiet Claire." Dylan was having a bit more trouble but eventually turned hers into a black lab.
"Aww yours is cuter then mine. Want to trade Dill?"
"Sure," Dylan said as Claire handed over her golden puppy who barked playfully.
Lily drifted off and began to think about James. Now that they were friends they had a chance. He had taken the first step in the right direction. Lily could to know him and then decide if she wanted to kiss him again.
"Earth to Lily," Dylan said pushing her hair out of her eyes. "It's time to go."
"Lily were you paying attention," Claire asked in a superior voice.
"Maybe," Lily said sheepishly.
"My, my Lily what has come over you?" Dylan said.
"Yea, the world has come to an end. Lily Evans wasn't paying attention in class!" Claire said in fake surprise.
They walked out and met up with James, Sirius, and Remus. Peter tagged along behind. He was often forgotten by the girls because he was just there. He reminded them of just another one of James' fans.
"Hey kiddos," Dylan said to them.
"Wasn't that loads of fun?" Claire said stressing each word the sarcasm dripping from her words.
"Oh yes, when is it not?" came Peter from behind them somewhat serious.
They rolled their eyes and laughed.
"Big dumb Peter," James said.
Sirius turned toward Claire and attempted to hold her hand, but Claire snatched it back and looked away. She hadn't forgotten her decision. She and Sirius had gotten too close over the last three weeks. It had almost been a month. And she was scared. She would have to break it off before she lost him, or he realized what a mental case she was.
Meanwhile Remus and Dylan were linked by the arms happily chatting as they walked down the halls. Remus knew he would have to do something soon, but there was no hurry.
Lily and James oblivious of their friends' troubles were deep in conversation.
"So you want to be an Auror?" Lily asked.
"Yea, I've got to follow in the family footsteps. Both of my parents are Aurors. So I guess I have to be one too. But it's not like a big obligation. I've always wanted to be an Auror."
"Me too, I love Defense Against the Dark Arts. And I really want to help people. I mean it's a really honorable job." Lily said smiling.
"Yea, but you have to go through so much training. It's like 3 years." James said.
"I know but it'd be worth it."
"It's really a risky job. You could get killed," he said.
"It's kind of like police men except harder and more serious."
"Like what?" James asked with a confused expression.
"You should really take Muggle Studies," Lily said with a laugh.
"So you won't tell me?" James said in feigned disappointment.
"Nope, you'll just have to look them up or something," Lily said in a superior tone that was all too familiar.
"Fine," James said in a huff.
When they entered the Great Hall for dinner there was more noise because it was Friday. The seven sat down to eat. Claire pilled potatoes on her plate and began eating quickly so she could leave Sirius' company sooner. Sirius seemed a little worried but at just as much as he usually did.
Finally Sirius got up to leave. He walked out and was followed by James and Remus. Peter walked over towards Hufflepuff.
"Bye Dylan," Remus said. "See you later."
"Yea bye Lily," James said running his hand through his already messy black hair.
After dinner Lily, Claire, and Dylan went to Lily's head bedroom.
"Claire what's going on?" Lily demanded.
"What do you mean?" Claire asked trying to be innocent.
"You would make a horrible actress Claire," Lily said. "Now what's going on?"
"We're not stupid you know," Dylan said.
"I know," Claire said her mood suddenly turning sullen.
"Well?" Lily said impatiently.
"Something's up," Dylan stated.
"No it's nothing ok?" Claire stood to go. "It's no big deal alright? I'm fine. Just leave me alone."
"Is it about Jade?" Lily asked in a small voice.
"NO! IT'S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT HER!"
"Calm down," Dylan said in a motherly tone.
"NO I WON'T CALM DOWN. IT'S NOT ALWAYS JADE. JUST BECAUSE SHE DIED DOESN'T MEAN I THINK ABOUT HER ALL THE TIME. I HAVE A LIFE BEYOND THE DEAD!"
"Ok, we know Claire," Lily said and pulled her into a hug.
Claire dodged it and walked out leaving a very confused Lily and Dylan. But she didn't care. She didn't care about anything. She was so confused. She didn't know what anything was about anymore. She didn't know why she couldn't get close to Sirius. It had only been 3 weeks. Most people think that's nothing. It couldn't be Jade either. Sirius wasn't dead. Her thoughts were choppy and spasmodic. They made no sense. She didn't understand anything. Claire walked into the loo and sat down. The same image of Jade came into her head, her blue eyes gazing off into nothingness. Then Sirius took Jade's place, his dark hair surrounding his tan face, his chocolate eyes pleading for mercy. Then it was Lily, then Dylan, then her mother, then her father. Claire couldn't take it. In the moonbeams that shoot through the darkness she sat. Claire pulled out a small razor from her bad and sliced through her pale flesh, hoping that this would end her confusion, hoping that the pain would become so horrible that everything else would be blocked. But when the bliss of pain didn't come Claire cut harder into her other wrist. Blood poured out onto the white tiles. It reminded her even more of Jade. Her tears fell down her cheeks staining her flawless skin.
Meanwhile Sirius lay awake on his bed trying to understand Claire. Why wouldn't she touch him? What had he done? He wanted to kiss her, to hold her. But Claire would not have that. Sirius didn't understand. He couldn't begin to comprehend her. He had no idea where this sudden coldness had come from. For the first time in his life Sirius thought himself to sleep.
Lily meandered through the halls for the next week. She felt like all hope had gone. Or maybe that was just her being over dramatic or her hopeless romantic side kicked in. For Lily was a hopeless romantic. She fell in love with the idea of being in love and had yet to have that feeling vanish. She would often cry for days after dumping a boyfriend for who knows why. She herself couldn't even begin to comprehend her sadness. But with James she felt not sad, but disappointed. She had hoped that they would be just friends before anything happened. Why did he have to rush it? She thought.
James spent many nights alone in his room secluded from the world from Lily. Even as he sat on his bed late at night thinking he knew he would have to gain her friendship. Lily wasn't the type of person who you just went out with. You had to know Lily you had to be friends with her. But she had kissed him, his mind argued back. For all that he was worth he still could not find out why she had kissed him.
Claire and Sirius were doing well. Sirius had taken it very slow. He gave her poems, roses on her plate. He was the perfect Romeo. Claire fell for him. She couldn't think about anything other then him. And she knew it was dangerous because Claire was afraid of losing him. After Jade, she couldn't risk someone else. She couldn't watch another funeral. She kept getting images of Jade. They flashed across her mind, her pale skin drowning in the raven black hair her azure eyes cold and lifeless. Claire wanted to talk to someone but she couldn't add her problems onto Lily and Dylan was just too happy. Claire thought herself to sleep that night.
Sirius sat up in his room staring at the night sky. He was so happy. He was going out with Claire. The girl, who was so smart, so beautiful, so full of life. She was so human. Yet she was unreal. Claire was one of those people who made you feel uneasy in her presence because she was so graceful and interesting. Often Sirius found himself at a lose for words. And the only time he could find them again was here sitting on his bed at 2 in the morning.
Dylan walked down and sat by the fire. She looked at the slowly dying flames dancing across the wood. She smiled knowing that all was right although she often worried about Lily. She couldn't help it. And Claire, she worried about Claire the most. But Claire was a strong girl so was Lily. They would both find their way. And with that pleasant thought Dylan drifted off to sleep.
Remus stayed up late that night worrying. He was a werewolf and he had a girlfriend. This couldn't be good. This shouldn't be happening. He would either have to tell her and risk her hating him forever. Or he could break it off with her and hope they could still be friends. Remus argued with himself. But in the end he knew he couldn't lose Dylan. He would break it off. They would be friends. That was for the best he thought as he fell into a restless sleep.
The next day dawned a bright and early November morning. The sun shinned out in the crystal clear sky. The cold was inescapable. Three weeks had passed since the momentous ball and everyone was wrapped up in his or her own little world. Until James finally decided it was high time to end the awkwardness.
Lily was on her way to Transfiguration that Friday when James came up behind her.
"Hello Lily," he said. These were the first words he had spoken to her since Lily had turned him down.
"Umm...hey," she said glancing up at his blue eyes hidden behind his glasses.
"Look I know this is awkward but can we be friends?" James asked silently praying that she would say yes.
Lily thought long and hard. She knew if they became friends she would end up falling for him but she didn't want to regret a friendship so she bit her lip and said, "Alright James, but just friends." His face immediately showed relief.
"Ok," James said and gave Lily a hug. He pulled back awkwardly and said, "Oh...um...sorry Lily."
Lily just laughed at him and the turned into Transfiguration. When they walked in Lily and James separated and took their usual seats: Lily at the front with Claire and Dylan, James at the back with the Marauders.
"Class settle down," said a very young McGonagall. "Today we will be transfiguring these rocks into dogs. This should be very easy for you seeing as we did it last year. But it will be on N.E.W.T.'s so I thought we should go over it."
"Oh, this is easy," said Claire and picked up her wand with the snap of her wrist her rock had become a golden puppy.
"Oh be quiet Claire." Dylan was having a bit more trouble but eventually turned hers into a black lab.
"Aww yours is cuter then mine. Want to trade Dill?"
"Sure," Dylan said as Claire handed over her golden puppy who barked playfully.
Lily drifted off and began to think about James. Now that they were friends they had a chance. He had taken the first step in the right direction. Lily could to know him and then decide if she wanted to kiss him again.
"Earth to Lily," Dylan said pushing her hair out of her eyes. "It's time to go."
"Lily were you paying attention," Claire asked in a superior voice.
"Maybe," Lily said sheepishly.
"My, my Lily what has come over you?" Dylan said.
"Yea, the world has come to an end. Lily Evans wasn't paying attention in class!" Claire said in fake surprise.
They walked out and met up with James, Sirius, and Remus. Peter tagged along behind. He was often forgotten by the girls because he was just there. He reminded them of just another one of James' fans.
"Hey kiddos," Dylan said to them.
"Wasn't that loads of fun?" Claire said stressing each word the sarcasm dripping from her words.
"Oh yes, when is it not?" came Peter from behind them somewhat serious.
They rolled their eyes and laughed.
"Big dumb Peter," James said.
Sirius turned toward Claire and attempted to hold her hand, but Claire snatched it back and looked away. She hadn't forgotten her decision. She and Sirius had gotten too close over the last three weeks. It had almost been a month. And she was scared. She would have to break it off before she lost him, or he realized what a mental case she was.
Meanwhile Remus and Dylan were linked by the arms happily chatting as they walked down the halls. Remus knew he would have to do something soon, but there was no hurry.
Lily and James oblivious of their friends' troubles were deep in conversation.
"So you want to be an Auror?" Lily asked.
"Yea, I've got to follow in the family footsteps. Both of my parents are Aurors. So I guess I have to be one too. But it's not like a big obligation. I've always wanted to be an Auror."
"Me too, I love Defense Against the Dark Arts. And I really want to help people. I mean it's a really honorable job." Lily said smiling.
"Yea, but you have to go through so much training. It's like 3 years." James said.
"I know but it'd be worth it."
"It's really a risky job. You could get killed," he said.
"It's kind of like police men except harder and more serious."
"Like what?" James asked with a confused expression.
"You should really take Muggle Studies," Lily said with a laugh.
"So you won't tell me?" James said in feigned disappointment.
"Nope, you'll just have to look them up or something," Lily said in a superior tone that was all too familiar.
"Fine," James said in a huff.
When they entered the Great Hall for dinner there was more noise because it was Friday. The seven sat down to eat. Claire pilled potatoes on her plate and began eating quickly so she could leave Sirius' company sooner. Sirius seemed a little worried but at just as much as he usually did.
Finally Sirius got up to leave. He walked out and was followed by James and Remus. Peter walked over towards Hufflepuff.
"Bye Dylan," Remus said. "See you later."
"Yea bye Lily," James said running his hand through his already messy black hair.
After dinner Lily, Claire, and Dylan went to Lily's head bedroom.
"Claire what's going on?" Lily demanded.
"What do you mean?" Claire asked trying to be innocent.
"You would make a horrible actress Claire," Lily said. "Now what's going on?"
"We're not stupid you know," Dylan said.
"I know," Claire said her mood suddenly turning sullen.
"Well?" Lily said impatiently.
"Something's up," Dylan stated.
"No it's nothing ok?" Claire stood to go. "It's no big deal alright? I'm fine. Just leave me alone."
"Is it about Jade?" Lily asked in a small voice.
"NO! IT'S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT HER!"
"Calm down," Dylan said in a motherly tone.
"NO I WON'T CALM DOWN. IT'S NOT ALWAYS JADE. JUST BECAUSE SHE DIED DOESN'T MEAN I THINK ABOUT HER ALL THE TIME. I HAVE A LIFE BEYOND THE DEAD!"
"Ok, we know Claire," Lily said and pulled her into a hug.
Claire dodged it and walked out leaving a very confused Lily and Dylan. But she didn't care. She didn't care about anything. She was so confused. She didn't know what anything was about anymore. She didn't know why she couldn't get close to Sirius. It had only been 3 weeks. Most people think that's nothing. It couldn't be Jade either. Sirius wasn't dead. Her thoughts were choppy and spasmodic. They made no sense. She didn't understand anything. Claire walked into the loo and sat down. The same image of Jade came into her head, her blue eyes gazing off into nothingness. Then Sirius took Jade's place, his dark hair surrounding his tan face, his chocolate eyes pleading for mercy. Then it was Lily, then Dylan, then her mother, then her father. Claire couldn't take it. In the moonbeams that shoot through the darkness she sat. Claire pulled out a small razor from her bad and sliced through her pale flesh, hoping that this would end her confusion, hoping that the pain would become so horrible that everything else would be blocked. But when the bliss of pain didn't come Claire cut harder into her other wrist. Blood poured out onto the white tiles. It reminded her even more of Jade. Her tears fell down her cheeks staining her flawless skin.
Meanwhile Sirius lay awake on his bed trying to understand Claire. Why wouldn't she touch him? What had he done? He wanted to kiss her, to hold her. But Claire would not have that. Sirius didn't understand. He couldn't begin to comprehend her. He had no idea where this sudden coldness had come from. For the first time in his life Sirius thought himself to sleep.