Chapter 10
Dylan drummed her fingers against the stone window pane anxiously. It was eight. Remus had asked her on date tonight. She had been sitting by the window in the common room for an hour already. Where was he? She heard footsteps faintly.
Remus walked down the stairs looking pensive. Dylan sensed something was wrong the moment he said hello in a very mellow manner.
"Hi," Dylan said turning to him. "Are you alright?"
"Umm....there's something I want to talk to you about," Remus said nervously his stomach turning.
"What?" Dylan said. This wasn't going to be good, whatever he was going to say.
"I don't think we should go out anymore."
Dylan's heart fell. Today had been so grand, but now this. It was always something. Dylan never ever had had pure happiness. She was always having it snatched away from her. She tried with all of her might not to cry in front of him because Dylan made a point to never show her emotions.
"It's just that I think..." Remus stammered.
"What, what do you think Remus?" Dylan said harshly trying to cover up her pain.
He looked at her sadly wishing that he could tell her. He wished that he could admit he was a werewolf. But he knew she would hate him. Most people did, except for the Marauders. But he never told them, they figured it out. And after all his lying and sneaking off they still wanted to be friends. But Dylan was different; she would get scared and shun him. The pain he felt now was better then her hate for what he really was.
A long silence fell over the two. Dylan stood there staring at him willing herself not to cry. They locked their eyes a silent battle until Remus could stare no longer. He turned to leave. Dylan watched him go. And as he walked out the Portrait hole she felt a flood of emotions. They were over.
Hours pasted, but Dylan didn't move. She felt like it would be too painful to move. They had been only going out for a month but secretly they would meet up with one another since August when the term started. The cool December air stung against her wet cheeks. It blew the curtains out of the opened window. It had been four months. Four months gone down the drain.
Claire came up to Dylan and touched her shoulder tenderly. "Dill, are you ok?"
Dylan turned and hugged Claire sobbing. Claire was shocked Dylan never cried. She had never seen Dylan so weak. It unnerved her. She forgot that she has just broken up with Sirius. She forgot about last night about the cuts on her wrists. She didn't matter anymore. All that mattered was that Dylan stop crying. Claire pulled her in closer and hugged her tighter whispering, "It'll be ok Dill. Everything will be fine."
Dylan pulled away from her and looked into Claire's deep blue eyes. She saw the same sadness. "What happened to you?" she asked. "And what happened last night? I've been worried about you," she said quickly wiping away her tears.
"Oh, I had to break up with Sirius," Claire said turning away. "I couldn't let him get hurt. And last night was awful. It's like what happened in fifth year."
"Claire, you've really got to stop doing this," Dylan said seriously.
Claire burst out laughing. After getting her heart broken Dylan could still scold Claire. She laughed so hard that Dylan couldn't hold in the giggles any longer. They stood there laughing away their pain; smiling at their misfortune.
***
Sirius was outside with James, Remus, and Peter. It was a full moon and so they were out prowling about on the grounds. The night was overcast hiding them from the students' prying eyes.
"Sirius do you get it?" James said laughing hysterically.
"Oh, yea, of course," Sirius said attempting a laugh. But he couldn't. He couldn't even smile. He was so sad. And it was so unusual. He and Claire had gone out a month. Big deal it was a fucking month. He went out with girls weekly last year. Why should she be so different? She shouldn't be he decided. But even as he said that he knew he was lying to himself. Claire was different. She made him more aware of his surroundings. She calmed him down, made him mellower. She made him want to be a better person. And this was after just a month.
"What's wrong Padfoot?" James said knowing something was amiss or else Sirius would've been more energetic.
"Nothing."
"Look I know it's something," James said as he watched Peter and Remus go running off through the forest.
"Nothing alright let's just go."
"It's about Claire, isn't it?"
"Yes, fine it's about Claire."
"Well," James said impatiently.
"Well what?"
"She broke up with me. Alright, happy?"
"What? Why?" James asked in surprise.
"I don't know," Sirius said. And he really didn't know. He couldn't understand her at all. Claire had come up to him after dinner in the hall.
*Flashback*
"Sirius?"
"What?" he said harshly then seeing Claire his voice changed, "Oh, hi Claire."
"Um...nothing...Can I talk to you?"
"Actually I've been meaning to talk to you," Sirius said. "What happened the other day? How are you doing? Is there anything I can do to help you?" His brow was furrowed he looked like he had been worrying about her all night.
Claire was taken aback by his caring. She wished just this once she could get close to him. But she couldn't. She couldn't risk losing him. People that were attached to her usually got hurt. In fact she would've never made friends if Lily hadn't forced her to. But now she couldn't live without Lily. And Claire didn't want to get attached to him. She didn't want to hurt him.
Sirius was silent watching her. She looked torn. "Umm...Claire?"
"Look, you won't understand Sirius but I can't go out with you anymore."
And just like that she had taken away all of his happiness. She had cast him aside like a broken toy. Sirius had never felt worse. It was unbearable. He turned to leave.
Claire watched him go. And as soon as he turned the corner she let it go. Tears ran down her face. Claire headed for the bathrooms, ready to do what she had done last night. She could feel even more pain because the cuts were still fresh on her wrists. They reminded her constantly of the pain.
*End Flashback*
Sirius stood there waiting for James to respond. He had just told him everything. And for the first time in a while Sirius felt relieved.
"Look Padfoot, give her some time. She's probably really confused. Christmas Holidays are coming up soon and maybe afterwards she'll feel better. Don't worry ok?"
Sirius sighed and walked off with him towards the forest where Moony and Wormtail were waiting. He hoped to God that James was right.
*****
Lily found Claire and Dylan in the empty common room at 2 a.m. laughing with tears streaming down their faces. Lily knew what had happened already, she had sensed this happening for a long time. So she didn't need to ask them what happened. She didn't need to make them relive it. So she sat down and hugged them in their laughter.
The night's hours passed away. The three had stayed up all night just like they always had. They talked to each other about everything. And afterwards all three of them were content with life. They didn't need boys when they had a friendship like the one they had. What ever had happened didn't matter anymore. But secretly Dylan and Claire still felt the fresh pain. It was like a wound opened over and over again every time they thought about it. And Lily thought about James. She thought about him a lot these days. But there was too much going on to make any moves or decisions. All three of them sat there for the longest time after their talking had died away. They were all to engrossed by their thoughts to think about the silence that had fell on them.
*****
"Hey," Dylan said breaking the silence. "Anyone want to spend Christmas with me at my house this year? You could bring your families and everything."
"Yea, that'd be awesome," Claire said smiling. "I'll just have to ask them."
Lily sighed, "I don't know. Petunia probably won't want to go."
"Well then come without her," Dylan said.
"I can't...It's my family."
"Lily," Claire groaned.
"Come on Lil, it's our last Christmas," Dylan said.
"Yea, Lily," Claire said, "She's right."
"Oh, alright," Lily said sighing. It would be very hard to convince her mother and father to spend Christmas without Petunia but they were right it was their last year of Hogwarts.
And the three spent their next couple weeks of the term happily awaiting the upcoming holidays. They avoided the Marauders as much as they could, but seeing them didn't much matter anymore or at least that's what they told Lily. Neither Dylan nor Claire would admit it but they still felt a pang in their stomachs every time Remus or Sirius passed.
***
To my reviewers
Dylan drummed her fingers against the stone window pane anxiously. It was eight. Remus had asked her on date tonight. She had been sitting by the window in the common room for an hour already. Where was he? She heard footsteps faintly.
Remus walked down the stairs looking pensive. Dylan sensed something was wrong the moment he said hello in a very mellow manner.
"Hi," Dylan said turning to him. "Are you alright?"
"Umm....there's something I want to talk to you about," Remus said nervously his stomach turning.
"What?" Dylan said. This wasn't going to be good, whatever he was going to say.
"I don't think we should go out anymore."
Dylan's heart fell. Today had been so grand, but now this. It was always something. Dylan never ever had had pure happiness. She was always having it snatched away from her. She tried with all of her might not to cry in front of him because Dylan made a point to never show her emotions.
"It's just that I think..." Remus stammered.
"What, what do you think Remus?" Dylan said harshly trying to cover up her pain.
He looked at her sadly wishing that he could tell her. He wished that he could admit he was a werewolf. But he knew she would hate him. Most people did, except for the Marauders. But he never told them, they figured it out. And after all his lying and sneaking off they still wanted to be friends. But Dylan was different; she would get scared and shun him. The pain he felt now was better then her hate for what he really was.
A long silence fell over the two. Dylan stood there staring at him willing herself not to cry. They locked their eyes a silent battle until Remus could stare no longer. He turned to leave. Dylan watched him go. And as he walked out the Portrait hole she felt a flood of emotions. They were over.
Hours pasted, but Dylan didn't move. She felt like it would be too painful to move. They had been only going out for a month but secretly they would meet up with one another since August when the term started. The cool December air stung against her wet cheeks. It blew the curtains out of the opened window. It had been four months. Four months gone down the drain.
Claire came up to Dylan and touched her shoulder tenderly. "Dill, are you ok?"
Dylan turned and hugged Claire sobbing. Claire was shocked Dylan never cried. She had never seen Dylan so weak. It unnerved her. She forgot that she has just broken up with Sirius. She forgot about last night about the cuts on her wrists. She didn't matter anymore. All that mattered was that Dylan stop crying. Claire pulled her in closer and hugged her tighter whispering, "It'll be ok Dill. Everything will be fine."
Dylan pulled away from her and looked into Claire's deep blue eyes. She saw the same sadness. "What happened to you?" she asked. "And what happened last night? I've been worried about you," she said quickly wiping away her tears.
"Oh, I had to break up with Sirius," Claire said turning away. "I couldn't let him get hurt. And last night was awful. It's like what happened in fifth year."
"Claire, you've really got to stop doing this," Dylan said seriously.
Claire burst out laughing. After getting her heart broken Dylan could still scold Claire. She laughed so hard that Dylan couldn't hold in the giggles any longer. They stood there laughing away their pain; smiling at their misfortune.
***
Sirius was outside with James, Remus, and Peter. It was a full moon and so they were out prowling about on the grounds. The night was overcast hiding them from the students' prying eyes.
"Sirius do you get it?" James said laughing hysterically.
"Oh, yea, of course," Sirius said attempting a laugh. But he couldn't. He couldn't even smile. He was so sad. And it was so unusual. He and Claire had gone out a month. Big deal it was a fucking month. He went out with girls weekly last year. Why should she be so different? She shouldn't be he decided. But even as he said that he knew he was lying to himself. Claire was different. She made him more aware of his surroundings. She calmed him down, made him mellower. She made him want to be a better person. And this was after just a month.
"What's wrong Padfoot?" James said knowing something was amiss or else Sirius would've been more energetic.
"Nothing."
"Look I know it's something," James said as he watched Peter and Remus go running off through the forest.
"Nothing alright let's just go."
"It's about Claire, isn't it?"
"Yes, fine it's about Claire."
"Well," James said impatiently.
"Well what?"
"She broke up with me. Alright, happy?"
"What? Why?" James asked in surprise.
"I don't know," Sirius said. And he really didn't know. He couldn't understand her at all. Claire had come up to him after dinner in the hall.
*Flashback*
"Sirius?"
"What?" he said harshly then seeing Claire his voice changed, "Oh, hi Claire."
"Um...nothing...Can I talk to you?"
"Actually I've been meaning to talk to you," Sirius said. "What happened the other day? How are you doing? Is there anything I can do to help you?" His brow was furrowed he looked like he had been worrying about her all night.
Claire was taken aback by his caring. She wished just this once she could get close to him. But she couldn't. She couldn't risk losing him. People that were attached to her usually got hurt. In fact she would've never made friends if Lily hadn't forced her to. But now she couldn't live without Lily. And Claire didn't want to get attached to him. She didn't want to hurt him.
Sirius was silent watching her. She looked torn. "Umm...Claire?"
"Look, you won't understand Sirius but I can't go out with you anymore."
And just like that she had taken away all of his happiness. She had cast him aside like a broken toy. Sirius had never felt worse. It was unbearable. He turned to leave.
Claire watched him go. And as soon as he turned the corner she let it go. Tears ran down her face. Claire headed for the bathrooms, ready to do what she had done last night. She could feel even more pain because the cuts were still fresh on her wrists. They reminded her constantly of the pain.
*End Flashback*
Sirius stood there waiting for James to respond. He had just told him everything. And for the first time in a while Sirius felt relieved.
"Look Padfoot, give her some time. She's probably really confused. Christmas Holidays are coming up soon and maybe afterwards she'll feel better. Don't worry ok?"
Sirius sighed and walked off with him towards the forest where Moony and Wormtail were waiting. He hoped to God that James was right.
*****
Lily found Claire and Dylan in the empty common room at 2 a.m. laughing with tears streaming down their faces. Lily knew what had happened already, she had sensed this happening for a long time. So she didn't need to ask them what happened. She didn't need to make them relive it. So she sat down and hugged them in their laughter.
The night's hours passed away. The three had stayed up all night just like they always had. They talked to each other about everything. And afterwards all three of them were content with life. They didn't need boys when they had a friendship like the one they had. What ever had happened didn't matter anymore. But secretly Dylan and Claire still felt the fresh pain. It was like a wound opened over and over again every time they thought about it. And Lily thought about James. She thought about him a lot these days. But there was too much going on to make any moves or decisions. All three of them sat there for the longest time after their talking had died away. They were all to engrossed by their thoughts to think about the silence that had fell on them.
*****
"Hey," Dylan said breaking the silence. "Anyone want to spend Christmas with me at my house this year? You could bring your families and everything."
"Yea, that'd be awesome," Claire said smiling. "I'll just have to ask them."
Lily sighed, "I don't know. Petunia probably won't want to go."
"Well then come without her," Dylan said.
"I can't...It's my family."
"Lily," Claire groaned.
"Come on Lil, it's our last Christmas," Dylan said.
"Yea, Lily," Claire said, "She's right."
"Oh, alright," Lily said sighing. It would be very hard to convince her mother and father to spend Christmas without Petunia but they were right it was their last year of Hogwarts.
And the three spent their next couple weeks of the term happily awaiting the upcoming holidays. They avoided the Marauders as much as they could, but seeing them didn't much matter anymore or at least that's what they told Lily. Neither Dylan nor Claire would admit it but they still felt a pang in their stomachs every time Remus or Sirius passed.
***
To my reviewers