"Oh sympathy where have you gone? I'm getting old and I need something to rely on. So tell me where you're going to let me in, I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin."
Somewhere only we know, Keane.
~ Interlude 3, Remus My Alcohol ~
I hardly drink any more; only the odd tipple during the day to keep my spirits high. Instead I turn to HIM.
Remus Lupin is my alcohol, he fills the voice that depression causes and the bottle cures. When all I can think of is the need for alcohol, I turn to memories of him.
The sweetness of our childhood friendship and the bittersweet embraces we so oft shared.
Hidden behind the curtain of my bed, I didn't have to pretend to be anyone. I wasn't Sirius Black, the most popular boy in school any more. I was just another lost cause.
I knew Remus wouldn't laugh if I slipped up, or simper at me to gain my favour. I always knew that I could come to him when the letter from my mother or father came.
SIRIUS BLACK, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING OF DOING WITH YOUR LIFE? –
I would gently tap him, breaking the silence of his study and he would take me by the hand, leading me to my bed.
- WE HEARD FROM GLADYIS BOTTLEBROOK TODAY (SHE EXAMINED YOU FOR DIVINATION) AND SHE SAID THAT YOUR-
He would hold me awhile as I opened the letter. If the words were sharp and insulting then he would sit in silence with me as I wept.
- ANSWERS WERE ABYSMALLY BAD. I KNOW THAT DIVINATION IS A POINTLESS STUDY BUT YOU BRING SHAME ON YOUR FAMILY BY NOT TAKING IT SERIOUSLY.
Then he would smooth away my tears and would place tender kisses on my face as he talked of the most random things.
- SMARTEN YOUR ACT UP, OR YOU'LL BE SEND TO DURMSTRUNG FOR THE REST OF YOUR ACADEMIC LIFE. I AM INFORMED THAT THEY ARE SUITABLY STRICTER THAN THAT MUGGLE LOVING FOOL, DUMBLEDORE.
URSULA BLACK.
It was then that I realised that Remus wasn't ordinary. As he comforted me he would talk. By nature he wasn't the most loquacious of people, but when he did, he talked so beautifully that I could listen to him for hours.
I laid in his arms, ignoring the fact that no heterosexual boy should ever be this close to his male friend, and just listened as he spoke
He talked of Chekhov, theatre, politics, and even the latest gossip that was circulating around Hogwarts.
But sometimes even those memories are not enough to keep your image alive in my mind. I feel disgusted with myself for doing it, but at least it's not the alcohol. I undo my trousers and allow my hands to calm the fire between my legs.
I image your painter's hands as I call out your name.
Remus my saving grace, my angel. My alcohol.
~
Two interludes- sorry if you don't particularly like their structure, buts it's a fun little venture to write and I thought it was necessary to pop into Harry and Sirius' mind respectively. I hope you didn't get too confused with the letter in the middle of this interlude…
Anyway, thanks to the reviewers. All my thanks are yours. Especially Doneril- you little star.